Funny advice/saying that someone has said to you:

[StoneGRMI]

I was talking with my grandpa earlier (almost 80) we were talking about his banking, investments, and everything else he wanted to get in place in case something happens to him. He was talking about his health and said "Well you know at my age they tell me I shouldn't even be buying green bananas."
I couldn't help but to lose it laughing hysterically. He's also the man that once told me "If you sleep with the dogs, you wake up with the fleas.".

Anybody else have anything funny once told to you or you have heard?

[stayinstacked]

I was talking with my grandpa earlier (almost 80) we were talking about his banking, investments, and everything else he wanted to get in place in case something happens to him. He was talking about his health and said "Well you know at my age they tell me I shouldn't even be buying green bananas."
I couldn't help but to lose it laughing hysterically. He's also the man that once told me "If you sleep with the dogs, you wake up with the fleas.".

Anybody else have anything funny once told to you or you have heard?

Now that u mention it, my grandfather said some funny shit one day. Some dude the night before died in a boating accident in my town. The guy was standing on the bow of the boat drunk and the other guy operating the boat went from driving fast to stopping fast and the dude fell off the front of the boat, then got his neck run over by the prop and drowned. Took the divers a few days to find him. Anyways, my grandfather is like "Did you see this guy in the paper here who died in the boating accident? What the hell was he doing standing up on the boat drunk anyways, and then he says it, quote on quote "He's too damn stupid to live" This shit happened like 12 years ago, I remember it like yesterday

[guest589745]

"I'm so thristy I'm left handed"

My friends grandpa always has little sayings and shit that make no sense.

[bbplaya21]

my great grandma told me this 6 years ago the last time I saw her and a week later she passed away " Fvck Yesterday, Fvck Next Week. Worry About Tomorrow Because You Can't Change Yesterday And You May Not Be ALive Next Week"

[Shane35aa]

Grandma used to say..Don't cry over spilled milk...grab the bucket and go milk you somemore.

[Shane35aa]

and.."I'm so damn Tired. I ought to be feathered"..WTF

[zodiac666]

and.."I'm so damn Tired. I ought to be feathered"..WTF

if you pronounce tired like a country guy "im so dam tard" it makes sense "tarred and feathered."