Is this fair ? I think not !!!

**Chemical King** · 01-24-2007, 04:11 AM

I have my son every 2weeks for the weekend but I want to see him more, but since he lives 20 miles away my only option is the weekends but my solicitor says that it isn't fair on the mother !!! shes got to be joking, what about whats fair for me. I get him every to fuking weeks from fri - sun but on the friday I dont pick him up till 5pm as im at college til 4pm and on the sunday he goes back at 11am as thats the only time im able to get transport

I wouldnt mind as much if she actualy had him and didnt palm him off on her parents on the weekends I dont have him

**prncezzml** · 01-24-2007, 08:45 AM

Is there any way you can communicate to the mother directly about seeing him more? I've never been in this situation personally, but so many of my friends are, and it seems to work a lot better if the two parents just work it out themselves. The legal system never wants to give the dad more time for some reason, which I think is completely detrimental to a child.

**Bigen12** · 01-24-2007, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by prncezzml

Is there any way you can communicate to the mother directly about seeing him more? I've never been in this situation personally, but so many of my friends are, and it seems to work a lot better if the two parents just work it out themselves. The legal system never wants to give the dad more time for some reason, which I think is completely detrimental to a child.

That's your best bet.

Here's where you must eat some shit, for the sake of getting to see your child.

In the states, that is about as much visitation as you can hope for. I've got every other weekend, a week during the summer, and we switch off holidays.

**auslifta** · 01-24-2007, 10:12 AM

hows your relationship with his mum?

**Chemical King** · 01-24-2007, 11:56 AM

me and his mum get on in genral until she cant get her own way then we fall out and have lots of agro.

She has told me im not to got her house and to get son from her mams which is out of order cos why should I travel further cos she cant be bothered to be in for me.

Shes totaly out of order. If i had my way id have my son here with me permanently, i just find it frustrating the wat the mother has to be in the gutter before a father in considered good enough to care for his son full time

**Bigen12** · 01-24-2007, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by Chemical King

i just find it frustrating the wat the mother has to be in the gutter before a father in considered good enough to care for his son full time

It's the same way here in the states.

The way my lawyer put it to me was, that if I couldn't prove that she was a drug addict or was having sex in front of the kids, that there was nothing he could do.

**Chemical King** · 01-24-2007, 01:43 PM

the system is bullshit. No wonder fathers are climbing the walls of buckingham palace in batman costumes

**StoneGRMI** · 01-24-2007, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by Chemical King

the system is bullshit. No wonder fathers are climbing the walls of buckingham palace in batman costumes

Try that? Only you should be Spider Man.

I've had friends go through the same thing, man. My friends want to see their kids more but the mothers are not allowing them and then the kids are spending most of their time with other family members just so their ex's can go out on friday/saturday nights. It's a bad situation.

**goodcents** · 01-24-2007, 03:07 PM

You could whack the mom and blame someone else, worked for oj

he got the kids after that. Oh wait, that only works if your rich

I could never have kids and go thru that shlt, I'm much too ruthless for that

Gee officer, that's horrible what happened. Officer fuk head "where were you at" You "I want to see my lawyer" *sounds of cops frustrated and crickets chirpping

If ever you look at shows like "the first 48 hours" the ones that shut up get by with it, the cops just fuk with you till you confess. Chicks have it too easy when they have kids, they can be total whores and still have you in trouble for trying to raise your kid

Glad I'm single w/o kids, oh god thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**prncezzml** · 01-24-2007, 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by goodcents

You could whack the mom and blame someone else, worked for oj

he got the kids after that. Oh wait, that only works if your rich

I could never have kids and go thru that shlt, I'm much too ruthless for that

Gee officer, that's horrible what happened. Officer fuk head "where were you at" You "I want to see my lawyer" *sounds of cops frustrated and crickets chirpping

If ever you look at shows like "the first 48 hours" the ones that shut up get by with it, the cops just fuk with you till you confess. Chicks have it too easy when they have kids, they can be total whores and still have you in trouble for trying to raise your kid Glad I'm single w/o kids, oh god thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In bold: that is the truth. It's really a shame the way it works, because children without father figures have severe delinquency and higher suicide rates. There are some fathers of course that should never get custody of a child, and then it is the same way with some mothers. Your best bet is to kiss your kid's mother's ASS and then she will probably let you see him more., it's really your only chance.

**cfiler** · 01-24-2007, 05:53 PM

It's definately not fair. Unfortunately there isn't much that can be done about it.

The easiest thing you can do is talk to their mom, and tell her that you want to see your kids more and when ever she needs someone to look after them that you'd like to be the first one she calls.

In custody battles, the fathers usually get screwed.

**violator1** · 01-24-2007, 06:08 PM

i feel you dogg. the system is totally jacked..... the man has no rights, i learned that the hard way. there was a big meeting called watch d.o.g.s at my kids school. "dads of great kids" they mentioned how there are some things even the best woman can never teach a kid. especially a boy. having a father in a kids life gives them a sense of security and trust that cant be nurtured by a mother. studies have shown that a child without a father is so much more likely to grow into a life of trouble. maybe you can explain to her that you feel empty without your son and would love to be a bigger part of his life.

**beuleux** · 01-25-2007, 03:42 AM

Originally Posted by prncezzml

Is there any way you can communicate to the mother directly about seeing him more? I've never been in this situation personally, but so many of my friends are, and it seems to work a lot better if the two parents just work it out themselves. The legal system never wants to give the dad more time for some reason, which I think is completely detrimental to a child.

If that was possible then he wouldnt be in this situation, solicitors dont start playing hardball untill youve been to mediation in the UK which is trying to sort things out refereed by two volunteer solicitors, courts really is a last resort because as everyone knows they will fcuk you over more than your ex does.

Im in the same boat, women know the system is rigged in thier favour and can just go round pissing you off because they can, Id get another solicitor though he sounds like a right tosser, my brief argues for any advantage no matter how small... Not fair my arse.

**beuleux** · 01-25-2007, 03:49 AM

Originally Posted by Chemical King

me and his mum get on in genral until she cant get her own way then we fall out and have lots of agro.

Sounds to me you dont get on at all... you just humour her in an attempt to keep the peace. If she starts giving you grief every time she cant get her own way thats a one way street, Im afraid its going to get worse than this, you more you give the more they want. Im assuming there is a court order in place for the access you have at the moment, every time she breaks it drag her arse back to court, judges dont like the childrens contact routines being messed up, youve got to take advantage of everything you can.

**Chemical King** · 01-25-2007, 06:14 AM

i aint got an officila order for contact cos last time i was at court last year the magistrate didnt feel the need to impse one cos she was letting me see him at the time, even after the 6 week review stage until xmas.

Now she has another partner she doesnt consider what effect it has on son not seing me.

what pisses me off most this timeis that on the weeks im not due to have him, she is sending him to her mums.

**beuleux** · 01-25-2007, 08:05 AM

looks like youll have to go back to your solicitor and drag her arse back to court, and remember YOUR the boss not him, he ADVISES you wheras you INSTRUCT him, if he doesnt like it get another one.

Thats just what Id do I know its hard getting it right.. Good luck!

**Chemical King** · 01-25-2007, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by beuleux

looks like youll have to go back to your solicitor and drag her arse back to court, and remember YOUR the boss not him, he ADVISES you wheras you INSTRUCT him, if he doesnt like it get another one.

Thats just what Id do I know its hard getting it right.. Good luck!

thanks bro. I just hate the idea of bin in a constant battle over my son. I want stability.

But can i tel my solicitor to do wat i want even if she doesnt like it ? even if im on legal aid right now ?

**beuleux** · 01-25-2007, 05:08 PM

Of course.. they are still bound by a code of conduct, youre the boss. Its not for your solicitor to decide whats fair and on who, its the judge who does that. If you have less than a 50% chance of getting what you want in court which in your case is just reasonable access then the legal services commision can refuse to fund your case but thats usually when Dads go for residency (not a hope in hell).

**firmechicano831** · 01-25-2007, 05:52 PM

My brother gets his kid everyweek on Friday-Sunday but then again the got a really good lawyer and went after her. They agreed on the best terms for both.