Uggh

[Hunter]

Even with some of the guys I am closer to on this board dont know this but today is the two year aniversary of my twin brothers death. Alot going on in my life now that has amplified these feelings. My brother and I where out raising hell and I was following him in my truck and he was in his jeep and we hit lose gravel and he rolled into a tree and I held him in my arms as he died. I wont ever forget looking into his eyes. I wont ever forget closing his eyes and running my hands over his face and feeling a scar I gave him above his eyebrow. I dont even know no day has been the same since then and I doubt it ever will be. I dont even know why I wrote this maybe just to see my feelings written down. Every time I wake up I think the wrong one died, I just dont know what to do anymore. My grandfather passed on along with my father earlier this year and lord knows how close I was to them. My oldest brother died in a shooting, he was a police officer. I was 16 .My girlfriend of 7 almost 8 years left me earlier this year when I was put in the hospital for a stabbing. I fell for another girl who left during the death of my nephew. I would never commit suicide just becouse those still around me would be so hurt. I just dont know what to do anymore.

[OPSTER]

I don't know what to say bro... but if writin it down helps you cope.. I'm sure everyone on this board will be here to help in any way we can.

[MuscleScience]

hang in there man and be strong for your family.

[MFT81]

Hey MN,

when I read that my heart sank into my stomach, just wanted to let you know I really feel for you bro, Ill be sure to keep you in my thoughts/prayers.

hang in there brother!

[TonyM]

I`ve sat for 5 minutes tyring to think of something to write, but there is nothing any of us can say to make you feel better bro.. just hang in there and stay strong for your family but more importantly for yourself!

Respect bro

[K.Biz]

wow, i feel for you bro. I dont even no what to write. because well 1. If you were in front of me i could probably say somthing to help you out, actully I could definetly say somthing, im good with that thing, but writing it for me is a whole different story. BUT there was 1 man here who really moved a lot of people and before he left this forum. He left a lil somthing for someone in your position. anyway i thought i would throw this in here for ya

d e pression is a result from an internal wound most commonly found in our hearts. When our hearts become wounded, it effects our spirits, our minds, our bodies, our relationships and our souls. The word d e pression means to "d e press" or to "bring down". In order to "come up" from what's brought you down, you must heal your internal wound. Wounds can become scars if you allow yourself to address it appropriately. But if you fail to address your wounds, your wound can become infected and it can lead to other wounds. Healing a wound often results in forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an illustration of weakness or shame. Forgivness is setting a prisoner free and then realizing that the prisoner was in fact yourself.

[gixxerboy1]

I'm sorry bro. Thats not much any of us can say but there are alot here to listen if you need it.

[Serotonin]

I'm sorry bro. Thats not much any of us can say but there are alot here to listen if you need it.

For sure... I'm not sure what you've done to help cope with the INCREDIBLE losses you've experienced bro but with such a heavy burden to deal with I'm sure it can feel suffocating at times no matter what has and can be done. As you said, suicide will only fill those who love you with the same unbearable grief you feel now.

My profound sympathies go out to you and I hope that as time passes you're assuaged of your bereavement.

[Stock]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm speachless as to what to say. Just remember, if things get too heavy to carry by yourself, you can always see a professional counsouler or therapist. Let us know if you need anyone to talk to...

[MFT81]

Man Mavs really should of stuck around for another week,

Like I said before MN, my sympathy to you and your family.

[kfrost06]

MN my heart goes out to you. I know this might sound inappropriate to some but when I find myself feeling helpless I will pray and it really does help. Knowing there is a higher power out there that cares can give you the strength to move forward when all else seems hopeless.

[SMAN12b]

Larry, what the hell can any of us say to comfort you when you have had such a horrible year??
We just have to have some type of faith that this is all part of some master plan that we don't get to know the end of til we get there.
Your brothers, father and grandfather are the lucky ones that are in a much better place, and we are the sad ones that are stuck here in this living hell trying to make sense of it all.

I know you are one of the STRONGEST young adults I have had the pleasure of getting to know....You have taught me a lot in the short time I have known you and called you Little Brother!! So, as tough as things get, you have to know there is a purpose for you here and that is why it was you that was left here and not taken like your brother. He had a different calling and is where his maker needs him now as you are too.

We both have had our share of losses recently and the visions will never leave us. but we must keep on keepin on!! One day we will be with our loved ones again.....but that day is FAR in the future!!

They are watching, and helping where they can...maybe it is they that sent you to this board to type out your feelings so you can feel them supporting you in the words of all your friends here.

I don't know what to say Little Brother, but I am here, and you know your family needs you , especially your sisters!!!! So chin up, dry the eyes, say a prayer for your lost loved ones, and show them that you got things handled down here for them so they may rest in peace!!

Love ya Little Brother!!!!!!!!!

[zodiac666]

Wow, my bad luck doesn't even compare to yours. There are plenty of shitty times in life but there are some pleasureable times as well. You just have to try to maximize the pleasurable times and not by quick fixes. The one thing all of us have to look forward to is finding out what happens when you die, but until then just appreciate your life and being healthy and try to have a good time. I hope everything works out for you.

-Zodiac666

[number twelve]

damn bro you have been through so much shit. i hope you can get through it all.

-12

[Titleist]

Life's fvcking hard sometimes man. I can't relate to losing a sibling, but I have had losses of my own. Stay strong man every day is a new one. Keep your head up, you are here for a reason. Make your brothers proud, they are watching you.

I don't know if you are religious at all, but prayer and being involved in church helped me get through some of my rough spots in life.

Much Respect Brother.

[mattyx1000]

Im so sorry you lost your brother that way, I couldn't imagine losing one of my brothers whom Im extremely close with. Im sure your brother would want you to live a full life and have a family of your own to be proud of. This life is crazy and you can only hold your head up as what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. My best friend is almost in the same situation as you, he lost his brother, two best friends and father whom he was best friends with just last week. It's terrible that tragedy hits some people so hard but you can either let it get the best of you or move on and live life the way your loved ones would've wanted you too. As for the girls I hear you they can be the most crushing sometimes by truly taking your heart away, but I bet you'll find the right one. If it was meant to be then you would still be with her, so your better off. I wish you the best of luck and god bless the family you lost.

[yngnastyman]

i dont know what to say

but i feel for you

things will get better eventually