lost a best friend today

**number twelve** · 05-16-2007, 10:25 PM

one of my closest friend passed away early this morning while on a trip for his school. he goes to the merchant marine academy here in NY and every summer they go on a ship and tour around the world. he had just turned 21, this kid was like my brother, best friends since 10th grade, played football together in hs, hung out every weekend.
he was a collegiate swimmer he was in really good shape. it is suspected he died of a brain anurism but it looks like its gonna take a few days to figure everything out. its been a really long day to say the least.

i just wanted to know if any of you guys have gone through a similar situation like this and how u dealt with it.

**numbat** · 05-16-2007, 10:37 PM

Sorry to hear that man .You gotta go on bro..It sucks ..As far as how , it just takes time.You can never replace them ..only honor them and as long as they are in your heart then they truely are never gone..

**number twelve** · 05-16-2007, 10:50 PM

thanks bro.
thats pretty much the mindset im keeping

**Bojangles69** · 05-16-2007, 11:16 PM

Yeh bro honestly I'm not sure anyone really knows what to say when it comes to losing someone close to you.
I can apply this to a couple of friends I was close to one of which commited suicide last year.
And honestly nothing anyone said really made me feel better at the time, it was just *knowing* that people loved me, cared for me, and would be there if I needed them that really gave me the strength.
I think all I can really say is just "keep breathing". Sometimes in life you really need to focus on the simplest things because everything else is just too overwhelming.
And I assure you, if you just "keep breathing".. in due time things WILL get better. And remember, grieving is natural and normal and if you try to hold shit in it will find its own ugly ways of getting out of you. So just focus on SIMPLE things now, and try to have FAITH that there really is more to life after you die and that one day we will all meet again in a better place called heaven.
G/luck & take care.
~BO

**x_moe** · 05-16-2007, 11:36 PM

he has my prayers

**thetank** · 05-17-2007, 01:58 AM

damn..im sorry to hear that man...that happened to a woman that works for my parents, she lost her daughter to an anyurism..life can be some ****ed up unfair shit...but youve gotta have faith in the twists happening for a reason no matter how unjust or inexplicable they may seem..it might seem like a life taken in vaine when someone is gone so suddenly..especailly someone so young..but a best friend, a brother..whether he was important in your life, his families lives, or a million lives..know he left his mark just being who he was to those that knew him and will never forget him. stay strong bro...my condolences to you and his family.
peace
tank

**wascaptain5214** · 05-17-2007, 04:32 AM

sorry bro, the older we get the more friends and family members go. it dont get any easier.

**Lexed** · 05-17-2007, 07:46 AM

so true captin

**spywizard** · 05-17-2007, 07:57 AM

sorry to hear this news.. prayers for his family and friends...

**SMAN12b** · 05-17-2007, 08:04 AM

Sorry to hear such a sad ending to a young life. My thoughts and prayers for you and your friends family !!

**number twelve** · 05-17-2007, 11:42 AM

thanks for all the responses...im still in shock about this whole thing. i know ill get through it, im gonna try to be there as much as i can for my other friends and for my deceased friends family

**Shane35aa** · 05-17-2007, 11:47 AM

Sorry for your lose

**Mike Dura** · 05-17-2007, 11:51 AM

Sorry to hear about your loss. I'm 39 and I have been through it a few times. I lost my best friend in 86 and I lost my ex-girl who became my best friend in 2001. I wish I could tell you I dealt with it well but in both cases I really didn't. I know that the best thing to do is to try to keep a structure to your day and the worst thing you can do is ruminate over it (although to some degree that may be unavoidable). When you chew it over you feed your ***ression. On the other hand, it's natural at such times to start reflecting about the fundamentals of existence and the human condition. I fell back on reading Buddhism, in particular, the work of Thich Naht Hahn and I feel that's helped me. But for you, your core meanings can be drawn upon and that can help you through it all. I can tell you that this is the time to draw upon your social connections for support - choose the people you can count on. Don't drink because that (in combination with ***ression) will lead to a downward spiral; I know that from experience and years of my life were "wasted" due to poor choices and not taking care. If you feel like your getting swallowed by grief seek counseling (preferably a PhD in either psychology or psychiatry) and make sure you feel a connection with that counselor or seek another one. Also consider anti-***ss. I couldn't live without them. There's no shame in getting help when you need it. It only shows your resourcefulness and intelligence (vs. weakness) Unfortunately, men typically have a hard time doing this whereas woman tend to reach out to their social connections. I wish you well friend.

Originally Posted by number twelve

one of my closest friend passed away early this morning while on a trip for his school. he goes to the merchant marine academy here in NY and every summer they go on a ship and tour around the world. he had just turned 21, this kid was like my brother, best friends since 10th grade, played football together in hs, hung out every weekend.
he was a collegiate swimmer he was in really good shape. it is suspected he died of a brain anurism but it looks like its gonna take a few days to figure everything out. its been a really long day to say the least.

i just wanted to know if any of you guys have gone through a similar situation like this and how u dealt with it.

***Doc.Sust*** · 05-17-2007, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by number twelve

one of my closest friend passed away early this morning while on a trip for his school. he goes to the merchant marine academy here in NY and every summer they go on a ship and tour around the world. he had just turned 21, this kid was like my brother, best friends since 10th grade, played football together in hs, hung out every weekend.
he was a collegiate swimmer he was in really good shape. it is suspected he died of a brain anurism but it looks like its gonna take a few days to figure everything out. its been a really long day to say the least.

i just wanted to know if any of you guys have gone through a similar situation like this and how u dealt with it.

so sorry for your loss, i know it is tough

to sum it up quick, i lost one of my best friends in high school because of an unfortunate accident involving a college campus police officer, a chase, a cliff and hypothermia.the questions to this case can never be answered because soon after my friend died, the police officer died himself. that was 13 years ago, it gets easier but it doesnt go away, only advice i can give is remember all the good times, dont focus on the negative aspects of how he is gone,trust me it wont help. he will never have to grow old and have to faces life's problems, trial and tribulations. i know this is far from a good consolation ,but it is something.

again, my deepest regrets my friend

**ronan the barbarian** · 05-25-2007, 03:29 PM

this may not be ideal.but being brought up by irish parents,when someone dies we are taught at the wake and after to think of the good times we shared with that person.

and im sure you can remember a time when you two happy and having the time of your life.and you should think so many people go through life never having that.

iv lost many friends and family to murder,suicide,illness and accidents,so i know how your feeling.

**skank** · 05-25-2007, 03:54 PM

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend to cancer years ago, it was a difficult time. Every year a group of us get together to remember him. But we make a celebration of the life he lived and all the things he enjoyed rather than mourn. This is what he would have wanted.