How to know if you're a Canadian
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE A CANADIAN
You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
You drink Pop, not Soda.
You know that a Mickey and 2-4's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!"
You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for
your holidays (not vacation), with good cigars and no Americans.
You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
You cried when you heard that "Mr. Dress Up" died.
You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & more, are Canadians.
You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
You know what a touque is.
You design your halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed."
You live in a house with no front step, but the door is one meter up from
the ground.
Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires
6 pages for hockey.
You know that the four seasons means: winter, still winter, almost winter, and road work.
You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm one.
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan"
You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."
You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite
than,"Huh?"
Re: How to know if you're a Canadian
Quote:
Originally posted by Pete235
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE A CANADIAN
You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
Um what does poutine mean?Because untill just now I have never in my life heard of the word poutine in my life.
Re: Re: How to know if you're a Canadian
Quote:
Originally posted by Big Show 23
Um what does poutine mean?Because untill just now I have never in my life heard of the word poutine in my life.
I learned this the other day when Pete got back from his trip.
Poutine- Fries, cheese curds, and gravy
Score one for the Americans!:rolleyes:
How to Know If You're a Faux-Canadian...
You keep your passport or birth certificate in the car because you don't know when you'll cross the border on the spur of the moment.
You actually have a Canadian Non-Resident Inter-Province auto insurance card. (You'll never be asked for it, but it's free from your insurance agent and it's really cool.)
You keep $100 CDN in the car because you don't know if you'll enter Canada when the exchanges are open. (If you're really faux-Canadian, you leave the $100 CDN in your pocket all the time.)
You no longer automatically reach for the Discover Card (which pays back 1% in the States) because you've finally realized that most Canadian stores only take Visa and Mastercard, not Discover.
You no longer have to look at the little numbers on your speedometer to convert miles to kilometers - for speed or distance.
You've become comfortable referring to the U.S. as "the States."
You've started bastardizing whatever French you learned in high school and are now able to speak "Franglais."
But, when in Montréal, you never use Franglais because you don't want to give the Quebecois the satisfaction. (Unless another American is in the car with you, in which case you refer to the Pont Victoria instead of the Victoria Bridge, just to be bourgeois.)
You read The Gazette online, just for the humor of all the articles on Bill 101 (the French language laws). And you've begun to understand that Quebec is to Canada what apples are to moon rocks.
Your idea of culture is Bruce Cockburn, Leonard Cohen and, on rare occasion, Celine Dion - not to mention that your favorite novelist is still Mordecai Richler, even though he's now dead.
You've learned to automatically add the GST and PST to the price of something, then take off a third for the conversion, to see if it is really a better value in Canada.
You've gotten used to leaving a tip on the table after each beer rather than one big tip at the end of the evening. And revel in the fact that you're drinking real Molson.
When Customs (on either side) asks, "Do you have any tobacco?" you respond, "Less than one carton, for personal use; no alcohol, firearms, or pepper spray."
And, if you're a legal juicer, you automatically hand copies of your prescriptions to U.S. Customs when you cross back to "the States." :D
