oh what to do

**Tambit24** · 10-15-2007, 09:14 PM

I have been married for over a year now and have a baby girl. The problem is that I have not had sex or any sexual contact in the past 4 months. I have tried to initiate it, but nothing. I have said to her how dissapointed I am in the way things are and I don't know what to do. I don't want to cheat on her, but I know a few girls that want to hook up with me and my wife would never know. We have been together on and off for about 8 years total, but I have never strayed while I have been married. I have cheated on her though while we were just dating. I have so much sexual frustration building up and beating it isn't doing it. Any ideas?

**youknowit45** · 10-15-2007, 09:28 PM

Imo dont cheat, never worth it when your done, plus you have a baby girl? All i see is her finding out and taking your trust fund, seen it happen way too many times with friends. As for what to do with your sex life; I have no answer for that bump

**Igifuno** · 10-15-2007, 09:30 PM

damn bro - has she given you any feedback as to why when you try to talk to her about it? i know that after childbirth, a womens sexual urges are different due to her hormones being all out of whack... when was your daughter born?

do you think she's cheating on you?

**nbkandrew13** · 10-15-2007, 09:30 PM

dude if you love her you have one choice.. ask her what the problem is does she expect you to go without any physical contact... if she does she does.. and she doesnt want to get help to find out why... because thats not normal .. thenn she wants you to cheat

**sphincter** · 10-15-2007, 11:23 PM

talk to her about it openly wihtout accusations, hatred, meanness, or antyhing else offensively worded.. just matter-of-factly tell her how you feel, what it makes you think about doing and, most importantly, WHY you DON'T want to do those things... that you love and want to be with her but you have needs and they were taken care of when you signed up for marriage/kids and it is NOT o.k. to suddenly remove that part of the deal..

**Biff Studly** · 10-16-2007, 11:43 AM

bro...you definitely need to get this out in the open with her more..until she can give you a reason...like the other guy said you need to discuss it without any anger, accusations, etc...You need to tell her how important having sexual contact with her is to you. She most likely knows already but continues to avoid it which means she is not taking your needs into consideration. Like was said previously it could be due to hormonal fluctuations after child birth, could be post partem depression or some other physical or mental condition. Ask her to go to the M.D. and or Psychologist....maybe they can find an explanation. Explain your needs again and if you think it is necessary, mention you would like marriage counseling. Very long periods of no sexual intimacy are generally a huge warning sign of trouble (future) in a marriage..like you said..now you are considering cheating...just try to hold off bro and do not bring that shit up to her. Try to get professional help and see if it can be resolved. Going through the same sort of shit now and I am hoping it will be resolved...seeing improvement but a long way from normal. I am giving it 1 more year and then I will have to make a decision...most likely ask for a divorce...because I don't think I could ever cheat on her. But...we don't have any children. Good luck bro and remember to talk it out.

**IronReload04** · 10-16-2007, 11:46 AM

something to keep in mind......in no way am i even remotely suggesting anything by saying this.....nothing at all....but just throwing it out there

I have read that if one person in marriage refuses to have sex, that is grounds for divorce and you wont lose any assets

**PROTEINSHAKE** · 10-16-2007, 11:53 AM

great advice here... gada get it on the table bro & find out EXACTLY whats up....

as for the refusal of sex... I think its at least 6 months & I believe its one yr in my state.

**Lexed** · 10-16-2007, 11:58 AM

get a fleshlight if you dont know what it is google it.....

RA · 10-16-2007, 12:23 PM

I dont know how old your girl is but my wife went through a depression after each of our children was born. We finally realized she needed something to get her through that period so she went to the doc and got on anti depressants. She doesnt take them anymore but they really really really help.

Originally Posted by Tambit24

I have been married for over a year now and have a baby girl. The problem is that I have not had sex or any sexual contact in the past 4 months. I have tried to initiate it, but nothing. I have said to her how dissapointed I am in the way things are and I don't know what to do. I don't want to cheat on her, but I know a few girls that want to hook up with me and my wife would never know. We have been together on and off for about 8 years total, but I have never strayed while I have been married. I have cheated on her though while we were just dating. I have so much sexual frustration building up and beating it isn't doing it. Any ideas?

**ottomaddox** · 10-16-2007, 02:55 PM

Two big thumbs up for the Fleshlight. I got the asshole model, I wish I had the one with a twat instead, works the same.

Originally Posted by Lexed

get a fleshlight if you dont know what it is google it.....

**Tambit24** · 10-16-2007, 03:14 PM

Thanks for all the advice. I'm 27 and she is 26. My daughter will be one in about a month. We have only had sex 2-3 times since my daughters birth. 6 months after her birth was the first time. I have asked her about it many times. I don't yell or get angry at her with this issue. I mostly think it is related to me (too fat or just not attractive enough) and some problem along those lines because she gives me no reasons. Whenever I ask her about it, she can't give me a straight anwser. She says its just her and shes always tired and what not. I have tried to change lil things that bother her like swearing infront of her and doing more house work so she isn't overwhelmed and angry with me. I am at a loss. I don't want to cheat because I know and feel it is wrong. I have asked her to see someone(doctor) and she either says ya or just gets mad at me for thinking there is something wrong with her. She says she will try harder, but nothing ever happens. I feel like she only has sex with me once every 3-4 months to shut me up (which it does for the mean time). I know relationships are not based on sex whatsoever, but this is ridiculus.

**Tambit24** · 10-16-2007, 03:15 PM

good idea with the flesh light. I have thought about it, but she gets mad when she finds my porn. It's unbelievable.

**goodcents** · 10-16-2007, 03:41 PM

omg 6 months not hitting it and she lives with you?

**ottomaddox** · 10-16-2007, 03:45 PM

I don't like insecure bitches that think pornography objectifies women. Get over it, I just want to nut. So , you're damned if do, and damned if you don't, a no win situation.
Good luck,
CR

Originally Posted by Tambit24

good idea with the flesh light. I have thought about it, but she gets mad when she finds my porn. It's unbelievable.

**goodcents** · 10-16-2007, 03:50 PM

The chics I hit like to watch porn during it

but since I'm almost blind w/o glasses and too lazy to wear my contacts it doesn't do much for me

RA · 10-17-2007, 07:14 AM

Thats BS bro. I convinced mine to go to the doc by saying I was going to get it somewhere if not with her. Relationships arent all about sex but its an IMPORTANT part.

Originally Posted by Tambit24

Thanks for all the advice. I'm 27 and she is 26. My daughter will be one in about a month. We have only had sex 2-3 times since my daughters birth. 6 months after her birth was the first time. I have asked her about it many times. I don't yell or get angry at her with this issue. I mostly think it is related to me (too fat or just not attractive enough) and some problem along those lines because she gives me no reasons. Whenever I ask her about it, she can't give me a straight anwser. She says its just her and shes always tired and what not. I have tried to change lil things that bother her like swearing infront of her and doing more house work so she isn't overwhelmed and angry with me. I am at a loss. I don't want to cheat because I know and feel it is wrong. I have asked her to see someone(doctor) and she either says ya or just gets mad at me for thinking there is something wrong with her. She says she will try harder, but nothing ever happens. I feel like she only has sex with me once every 3-4 months to shut me up (which it does for the mean time). I know relationships are not based on sex whatsoever, but this is ridiculus.

**number twelve** · 10-17-2007, 10:15 AM

mavs would have been clutch right here...

**goodcents** · 10-17-2007, 11:21 AM

Life is too short to fuk one chic

**Renesis** · 10-17-2007, 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by Tambit24

Thanks for all the advice. I'm 27 and she is 26. My daughter will be one in about a month. We have only had sex 2-3 times since my daughters birth. 6 months after her birth was the first time. I have asked her about it many times. I don't yell or get angry at her with this issue. I mostly think it is related to me (too fat or just not attractive enough) and some problem along those lines because she gives me no reasons. Whenever I ask her about it, she can't give me a straight anwser. She says its just her and shes always tired and what not. I have tried to change lil things that bother her like swearing infront of her and doing more house work so she isn't overwhelmed and angry with me. I am at a loss. I don't want to cheat because I know and feel it is wrong. I have asked her to see someone(doctor) and she either says ya or just gets mad at me for thinking there is something wrong with her. She says she will try harder, but nothing ever happens. I feel like she only has sex with me once every 3-4 months to shut me up (which it does for the mean time). I know relationships are not based on sex whatsoever, but this is ridiculus.

The hell they're not!!!!! Of course having a healthy sexual life with your partner is important. If you can't get intimate in a relationship then wtf is the point?

**goodcents** · 10-17-2007, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by Renesis

The hell they're not!!!!! Of course having a healthy sexual life with your partner is important. If you can't get intimate in a relationship then wtf is the point?

Preach brother