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  1. #1
    dank1970's Avatar
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    steven segal in the ufc

    NOT!!! ok so get this. I work with aguy who seriously thinks that if Steven Segal wanted to fight in mma such as ufc, cage rage, pride (when they were sill around} etc.etc... that no one could beat him. LMFAO dude, I thought it was a pretty good joke till I realized this tard was actually serious. then it was even funnier. he says that no one in the ufc in any w class can take him in a no holds barred fight OMFG how old is that dude. I tried to explain a few thins about mma and the level of competition these days but he wasnt hearin it. Also the fact that the event wouldnt be held in a hollywood studio. apparently he has been a martial artist for so long that it wouldnt reallly be a challenge for him. any whatever' I wouldnt even waste my time arguing that one but man I had to share it with you guys at least.

  2. #2
    Amorphic's Avatar
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    are you kidding me, steven segal is the man! havent you seen him crush everyones asses in all his movies? he would have been unbeatable

  3. #3
    Dizz28's Avatar
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    [email protected] Segal

    Maybe Chuck could fight him and get over his losing streak...

    Seriously though, Steven's crap only looks good in the movies after it's been rehearsed. If he stepped in the cage, he would get tore up... Nate Diaz is half his weight and would take care of him in the first 2 minutes

  4. #4
    Amorphic's Avatar
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    Kevin James would kick Segals ass, especially after seein him train with couture

  5. #5
    Odpierdol_sie!'s Avatar
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    Segal is the man yeah, but...

    Seriously UFC? no chance, Im sure he would last a good few bouts though.

    CageRage? well thats a different story.

    Niel Grove, i dont think he has alot of MMA experience, i know for a fact he is a insturctor still in Karate or something, he teaches in my gym. He is just a big 140kg 6ft7 guy who once he connects knock people out.

    Im sure Segal wouldnt have this kind of impact but im sure on the technical side he would be as good as any of them.

    If you really wanted him to make an impact a 6 month stint with a good camp im sure would sort that out.

    But coming back to the UFC, nah i dont think he would be too good there for very long like.

  6. #6
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    Steven Segal , Maybe 20 yrs ago

    Have you seen his GUT! Its as big as his Head!

    My money would be on Bruce Lee

    Peace Out
    Last edited by luckylou; 11-06-2007 at 06:01 PM.

  7. #7
    goodcents's Avatar
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    Do you guys know anything about him? I saw his biography, he is seriously a bad ass dude. He is one hell of a shooter in real life too, he is a big supporter of shooting events He could kick my ass before I even knew what hit me

  8. #8
    Odpierdol_sie!'s Avatar
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    here is one for you guys, you ever heard of a british boxer called Julius Francis?

  9. #9
    Dizz28's Avatar
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    but he is such a tool in his movies though...they are so cheesy. And i don't like people that whisper all the time...kinda freaks me out

  10. #10
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    There was an article several years ago about Segal in GQ magazine. Basically it said that everything that comes out of the guy's mouth is a lie, he never worked for the C.I.A. in Vietnam (he claims to have been born in 1952 which would make him 23 when Saigon fell) and most of his "war stories" were taken from a guy he knew at a gym in LA. The way he looks now I think he would be worn out just walking in to the arena.
    Last edited by breacherup; 11-05-2007 at 06:42 PM.

  11. #11
    3bd's Avatar
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    Two words...

    Chuck Friggin Norris

  12. #12
    IronReload04's Avatar
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    steven seagal never gets touched in fights....therefore, he would win!!!

  13. #13
    IronReload04's Avatar
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    chuck norris at 3 75 oz steaks in 60 minutes.......He spent the first 45 minutes banging the waitress

    fact

  14. #14
    dank1970's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3** View Post
    Two words...

    Chuck Friggin Norris
    I counted three

  15. #15
    IronReload04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dank1970 View Post
    I counted three
    chuck norris defies all logic, natural laws, and physics

  16. #16
    dank1970's Avatar
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    thats true that dude usually fights 3 or 4 guys at once and NEVER loses. I guess I'm just being ignorrant again. so if chuck norris and segal fought in the ufc against each other chuck takes it?

  17. #17
    Dizz28's Avatar
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    Chuck eats all his defeated opponents and gains thier strength making an even stronger Chuck Norris


    FACT

  18. #18
    3bd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dizz28 View Post
    Chuck eats all his defeated opponents and gains thier strength making an even stronger Chuck Norris


    FACT
    aka uber chuck

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    LOL From just reading the thread title I somehow knew this would turn into Seagal vs Norris. But seriously...all Chuck Norris jokes aside...Who do you think would win.....Someone should set that shit up like celebrity mma and have Jean-claude van damm vs Dolph Lundgren as the undercard =)

  20. #20
    IronReload04's Avatar
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    if chuck norris fought steven seagal in a fight, the whole world would get swallowed through a black hole, and the world would sieze to exist.....this match is simply not possible....it cant happen.......if it did, facts would no longer be facts, and the world would end by dissappearing through thin air


    -steven seagal cant get touched in a fight
    -chuck norris cannot be defeated

    so, we would have a major problem if this were to happen.....I get worried every night.....what if terrorists were to arragne this match.....all hell would break lose....but terrorists are no match for chuck norris, let alone steven segal....So i dont lose sleep at nigjht

  21. #21
    Dizz28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MeanMachine2000 View Post
    LOL From just reading the thread title I somehow knew this would turn into Seagal vs Norris. But seriously...all Chuck Norris jokes aside...Who do you think would win.....Someone should set that shit up like celebrity mma and have Jean-claude van damm vs Dolph Lundgren as the undercard =)
    oh no, you did it...you mentioned the ballet guy...

    Why, Dolph, of course. He almost beat rocky and he's the prefect athlete, scientifically tuned.

  22. #22
    Dizz28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IronReload04 View Post
    if chuck norris fought steven seagal in a fight, the whole world would get swallowed through a black hole, and the world would sieze to exist.....this match is simply not possible....it cant happen.......if it did, facts would no longer be facts, and the world would end by dissappearing through thin air


    -steven seagal cant get touched in a fight
    -chuck norris cannot be defeated

    so, we would have a major problem if this were to happen.....I get worried every night.....what if terrorists were to arragne this match.....all hell would break lose....but terrorists are no match for chuck norris, let alone steven segal....So i dont lose sleep at nigjht
    I laughed so hard reading this...reminds me of that movie Dogma when that angel said Ben/Matt characters couldn't be allowed in heaven because it would negate God's word...al the time he was taking shots of Tequila but spitting them right back in a glass because he wasn't "allowed" to drink alcohol...

    At least i got a good laugh in tonight

  23. #23
    3bd's Avatar
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    tomorrow we'll debate whether Mighty Mouse can beat up Superman.

  24. #24
    IronReload04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3** View Post
    tomorrow we'll debate whether Mighty Mouse can beat up Superman.
    in a fight between mighty mouse and superman....chuck norris would be the winner

    fact

  25. #25
    IronReload04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dizz28 View Post
    I laughed so hard reading this...reminds me of that movie Dogma when that angel said Ben/Matt characters couldn't be allowed in heaven because it would negate God's word...al the time he was taking shots of Tequila but spitting them right back in a glass because he wasn't "allowed" to drink alcohol...

    At least i got a good laugh in tonight
    hahahahah

  26. #26
    Amorphic's Avatar
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    lol, this thread makes me laugh

  27. #27
    IronReload04's Avatar
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    wait, it gets better amorphic

    just thought of this one now

    kind of stemming from superman vs mighty mouse








    in a fight between superman and spiderman, chuck norris would be the winner......Chuck norris is "the" man", not the other 2 stiffs!
    fact

  28. #28
    Amorphic's Avatar
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    im suprised there is no official chuck norris jokes thread

  29. #29
    Dizz28's Avatar
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    There needs to be an official "Chuck norris Facts" thread on here....I MOVE TO PETITION THIS!

  30. #30
    3bd's Avatar
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    no need the site already exists...

    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

  31. #31
    Dizz28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3** View Post
    no need the site already exists...

    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
    LOL, and with this....the first thing I imagined was Napoleon Dynamite saying this just like when he showed that picture of his "girlfriend" to Pedro in the bleachers.."See for yourself...ehhhhh"

  32. #32
    peteroy01 is offline Senior Member
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    segal vs chuch= an unstoppable force hitting an immovable object.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by IronReload04 View Post
    if chuck norris fought steven seagal in a fight, the whole world would get swallowed through a black hole, and the world would sieze to exist.....this match is simply not possible....it cant happen.......if it did, facts would no longer be facts, and the world would end by dissappearing through thin air


    -steven seagal cant get touched in a fight
    -chuck norris cannot be defeated

    so, we would have a major problem if this were to happen.....I get worried every night.....what if terrorists were to arragne this match.....all hell would break lose....but terrorists are no match for chuck norris, let alone steven segal....So i dont lose sleep at nigjht
    i laughed my assss off at this rofl....hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

  34. #34
    Hollywood080's Avatar
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    this is the greatest thread that wasn't started by chuck Norrris!

  35. #35
    Panzerfaust's Avatar
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    First, the guy was an Aussie, so his opinion is shit anyway!

    Second, he is a complete tool.

    Third, see number 1

    And my reaction is only:

    ***No source checks!!!***

  36. #36
    goose is offline Banned
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    I would like to see him do this to chuck:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVm2ld4f08I

  37. #37
    J-Dogg is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by goose4 View Post
    I would like to see him do this to chuck:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVm2ld4f08I
    lol who the fck choreographed that fight for him?! What a tool

  38. #38
    Dizz28's Avatar
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    how...fake....was....that

  39. #39
    peteroy01 is offline Senior Member
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    shame on him! he was beating up little kids

  40. #40
    goose is offline Banned
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    Look what the main man says about this art.ART being the key word.

    http://www.subfighter.com/news.php?id=2839

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