Craps when doing heavey cardio

**solid-d** · 02-20-2008, 09:36 PM

What helps craps when doing heavey cardio. Also whenever I get craps, its always on one side of my body and not the other.

**Schmidty** · 02-20-2008, 09:38 PM

On every PT test i do i feel like i gota shit my pants on the 2 mile run. But when we do PT n the morning n we run up to5miles im fine. Its just the PT test, i get so nervouse on the run.

**StoneGRMI** · 02-20-2008, 09:38 PM

Craps or cramps? I sure hope you're not crapping while doing cardio! Drink more water.

**Atomini** · 02-20-2008, 09:38 PM

I think he means cramps, lol. I have only once ever seen a guy shit while running.

**solid-d** · 02-20-2008, 09:41 PM

LMAO, I mean cramps.... Schmidty thought I really meant shit my pants when doing heavy cardio... That was too funny....

**solid-d** · 02-20-2008, 09:42 PM

You saw a guy shit his pants doing cardio before..... LMFAO......Hahahaha

**StoneGRMI** · 02-20-2008, 09:48 PM

I would just try to stay hydrated and maybe get some more potassium into your diet. Other than that I don't have any ideas!

**Schmidty** · 02-20-2008, 09:57 PM

ooh, well i guess the same thing applys really. I only get cramps and craps on PT tests cause u push so much harder on those runs then u have n ur whole fvckn life. FVCK! that reminds me, i gota start doing cardio n a few days again. Its so cold in St.Louis, FVCK

**StoneGRMI** · 02-20-2008, 10:16 PM

I almost shat my pants while doing weighted lunges one time. That could have been a disaster.

**Dizz28** · 02-20-2008, 10:22 PM

I always get gas when I run or, especially, do sit ups

**dece870717** · 02-20-2008, 10:52 PM

Potassium for muscle cramps is awesome, speaking from personal experience!

**tankboy112** · 02-20-2008, 10:56 PM

we had this guy who would crap himself once a week during pt we made him run in the back of the formation

**Ajc330** · 02-21-2008, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by Dizz28

I always get gas when I run or, especially, do sit ups

i fart so much, and they smell so fvckin bad! last night im chillen with my friend and we're in his car, i had to fart so i let one go i didin't think the whole cab would stinkup! wow it was putrid all the windows were down for a little bit and it was so cold last night, i stink my house up too and at work i fart constantly.. wow this reminds me of one time i was nailin this girl in my bed...

my bed is in the corner of my room up against 2 walls, well my matress wasn't all the way against the wall and i'm with this girl doing missionary, and my leg kept fallin down the crack that was made because my mattress wasn't totally against my wall, so i get up and push my bed against the wall and rip a huge fart! i was so embarassed cus i'm standing their assnaked and just ripped a fart (total mood killer!) so i was like "that didn't just happen" and i g et back on and seal the deal, but i saw her sniffling her nose like she was smelling the air, i got a million stories like this, shit happens!!

**Schmidty** · 02-21-2008, 10:31 AM

Originally Posted by tankboy112

we had this guy who would crap himself once a week during pt we made him run in the back of the formation

no fvckn way. Once a week, thats a shit load... lol

**Atomini** · 02-21-2008, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by BodyByAAS

LMAO!!!! Imagine what would happen if you had the squirts on a treadmil???

BLEH!

Well, a few months ago or so I was at the gym and one guy blew diarrhea all over the seat when he was trying to do the hammerstrength benchpress machine. It stunk so bad and there was like shit dripping off the seat and everything. I think I made a thread about that a couple months back, lol.

**solid-d** · 02-21-2008, 03:28 PM

This was meant to be a Cramps thread... Can we get back to the subject... Or Did I hyjack my own thread cause I cant spell...

**Voice of Reason** · 02-21-2008, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by BodyByAAS

When i was working at a gym i remember seeing how many people didnt wash their hands after they shit... i used to cuss them out all the time!! nasty pricks!

Did you work in the bathroom?

**J*U*icEd** · 02-21-2008, 05:22 PM

eat a banana and drink lots of water

**ottomaddox** · 02-21-2008, 05:34 PM

It's the kind of thing you just notice. There's a trainer at my gym, that always uses the bathroom mid class and he never washes his hands. Gross.
To each his/her own.

Originally Posted by Voice of Reason

Did you work in the bathroom?

**Atomini** · 02-21-2008, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by ottomaddox

It's the kind of thing you just notice. There's a trainer at my gym, that always uses the bathroom mid class and he never washes his hands. Gross.
To each his/her own.

"What we have now, is a completely neuratic population obsessed with security and safety and crime and drugs and cleanliness and hygene and germs. There's another thing: Germs. Where did this sudden fear of germs come from, in this country? Have you noticed this? The media constantly running stories about all the latest infections: equali, bird flu, ... and Americans panic easily, so now everybody is running around, scrubbing this and spraying that, and over-cooking their food and repeatedly washing their hands, trying to avoid all contact with germs. It's ridiculous, and it goes to ridiculous lengths. In prisons, before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. It's true. Well they dont wan't you to get an infection! And you can see their point, wouldn't want someone to go to hell and be sick! Would take a lot out of the sportsmanship out of the whole execution. "Fear of Germs" why these fvcking pussies!

You can't even get a decent hamburger any more. They cook the shit out of everything now, cuz everyone is afraid of "food poisoning". Hey, where's your sense of adventure, take a fvcking chance, will ya? You know how many people die from food poisoning every year in this country? 9000, that's all. It's a minor risk. Shit! Take a fvcking chance bunch of God damn pussies! Besides, what do you think you have an immune system for? It's for killing germs! But it needs practice, it needs germs to practice on. So listen, if you kill all the germs around you and live a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along, you're not gonna be prepared. And never mind ordinary germs, what are you gonna do when a super virus comes along and turns your vital organs into liquid shit? I'll tell you what you're gonna do, you're gonna get sick, you're gonna die, and you're gonna deserve it because you're fvcking weak, and you got a fvcking weak immune system! God damn it!

So personally, I never take any special precautions against germs. I dont shy away from people who sneeze and cough, i dont wipe off the telephone, i dont cover the toilet seat, and if I drop food on the floor, i pick it up and eat it. Yes I do. Even if I am at a side walk cafe, in Calcutta, the poor section, on new year's morning during a soccer riot!

Let me tell you a true story about immunization. When i was a little boy in New York City in the 1940s, we swam in the Hudson River. And it was filled with raw sewage. Okay? We swam in raw sewage! You know, to cool off. At that time the big fear was polio; thousands of kids died from polio every year. But you know somethin’? In my neighborhood no one ever got polio. No one. Ever! You know why? Because we swam in raw sewage! It strengthened our immune systems. The polio never had a prayer; we were tempered in raw shit!

And you know something? In spite of all of that so-called risky behavior, I never get infections. I just don’t get ‘em, folks. I don’t get colds, I don’t get flu, and I don’t get food poisoning. And Ya know why? Because I have a good, strong immune system, and it gets a lot of practice. My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully automatic military assault riffles with night vision and laser scopes. And, we have recently acquired phosphorous grenades, cluster bombs, and anti-personnel fragmentation mines. So when my white blood cells are on patrol in my blood stream, seeking out strangers and other undesirables, If they se any - ANY - suspicious looking germs of any kind, THEY DON'T FVCK AROUND!! They whip out the weapons, wax the motherfvcker, and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! Into my colon! There's no nonsense! There's no miranda warning, none of that 3-strikes-and-you're-out shit! First defense BAM, into the colon you go!

And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don't automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom, okay? Can you deal with that?!? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't! You know when I wash my hands? WHEN I SHIT ON THEM!!!!!! That's the only time! And you know how often that happens? Tops, TOPS 2-3 times a week, TOPS. Maybe a little more frequently over the holidays, you know what I mean? And I'll tell you something else, my well-scrubbed-friends. You don't always need a shower everyday!! Did you know that? It's OVERKILL!!!! Unless you work-out or work outdoors, or for some reason come into intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage everyday, you don't always need a shower. All you need to do is make sure to wash the 4 key areas: armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth. Infact, you could simply save the time by using the same brush on all 4 areas!"

–George Carlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y-yH_Qyipc

**Ajc330** · 02-22-2008, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by Atomini

"What we have now, is a completely neuratic population obsessed with security and safety and crime and drugs and cleanliness and hygene and germs. There's another thing: Germs. Where did this sudden fear of germs come from, in this country? Have you noticed this? The media constantly running stories about all the latest infections: equali, bird flu, ... and Americans panic easily, so now everybody is running around, scrubbing this and spraying that, and over-cooking their food and repeatedly washing their hands, trying to avoid all contact with germs. It's ridiculous, and it goes to ridiculous lengths. In prisons, before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. It's true. Well they dont wan't you to get an infection! And you can see their point, wouldn't want someone to go to hell and be sick! Would take a lot out of the sportsmanship out of the whole execution. "Fear of Germs" why these fvcking pussies!

You can't even get a decent hamburger any more. They cook the shit out of everything now, cuz everyone is afraid of "food poisoning". Hey, where's your sense of adventure, take a fvcking chance, will ya? You know how many people die from food poisoning every year in this country? 9000, that's all. It's a minor risk. Shit! Take a fvcking chance bunch of God damn pussies! Besides, what do you think you have an immune system for? It's for killing germs! But it needs practice, it needs germs to practice on. So listen, if you kill all the germs around you and live a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along, you're not gonna be prepared. And never mind ordinary germs, what are you gonna do when a super virus comes along and turns your vital organs into liquid shit? I'll tell you what you're gonna do, you're gonna get sick, you're gonna die, and you're gonna deserve it because you're fvcking weak, and you got a fvcking weak immune system! God damn it!

So personally, I never take any special precautions against germs. I dont shy away from people who sneeze and cough, i dont wipe off the telephone, i dont cover the toilet seat, and if I drop food on the floor, i pick it up and eat it. Yes I do. Even if I am at a side walk cafe, in Calcutta, the poor section, on new year's morning during a soccer riot!

Let me tell you a true story about immunization. When i was a little boy in New York City in the 1940s, we swam in the Hudson River. And it was filled with raw sewage. Okay? We swam in raw sewage! You know, to cool off. At that time the big fear was polio; thousands of kids died from polio every year. But you know somethin’? In my neighborhood no one ever got polio. No one. Ever! You know why? Because we swam in raw sewage! It strengthened our immune systems. The polio never had a prayer; we were tempered in raw shit!

And you know something? In spite of all of that so-called risky behavior, I never get infections. I just don’t get ‘em, folks. I don’t get colds, I don’t get flu, and I don’t get food poisoning. And Ya know why? Because I have a good, strong immune system, and it gets a lot of practice. My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully automatic military assault riffles with night vision and laser scopes. And, we have recently acquired phosphorous grenades, cluster bombs, and anti-personnel fragmentation mines. So when my white blood cells are on patrol in my blood stream, seeking out strangers and other undesirables, If they se any - ANY - suspicious looking germs of any kind, THEY DON'T FVCK AROUND!! They whip out the weapons, wax the motherfvcker, and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! Into my colon! There's no nonsense! There's no miranda warning, none of that 3-strikes-and-you're-out shit! First defense BAM, into the colon you go!

And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don't automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom, okay? Can you deal with that?!? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't! You know when I wash my hands? WHEN I SHIT ON THEM!!!!!! That's the only time! And you know how often that happens? Tops, TOPS 2-3 times a week, TOPS. Maybe a little more frequently over the holidays, you know what I mean? And I'll tell you something else, my well-scrubbed-friends. You don't always need a shower everyday!! Did you know that? It's OVERKILL!!!! Unless you work-out or work outdoors, or for some reason come into intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage everyday, you don't always need a shower. All you need to do is make sure to wash the 4 key areas: armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth. Infact, you could simply save the time by using the same brush on all 4 areas!"

–George Carlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y-yH_Qyipc

that's really stupid, disgusting, and retarted?

**FREAK** · 02-22-2008, 09:08 AM

I hate takin sh@ts while doing cardio!u run down pinch one out then run back up u whonder if your azz and fingers still smell everyones lookin at ya

**novastepp** · 02-22-2008, 11:10 AM

craps

**Atomini** · 02-22-2008, 11:27 AM

From a Gregg Valentino interview:

GV: Well, for instance, and this is something a lot of people don't know, I used to drive a school bus.

TB: They let you near children?

GV: They were retarded children.

TB: Like that makes it better.

GV: This is one of Bob Bonham's favorite stories. These kids were great. One time I was driving them home and I had to take a shit.

TB: Oh boy, here we goâ€¦

GV: Back then I was bulking up. I didn't know about roids so I'd eat a lot of food. I created something I called a cake shake.

TB: A cake shake?

GV: A cake shake. I'd take heavy cream and put it in an industrial blender. I'd throw sugar, protein powder and three to five whole eggs in there. On top of that I'd take a big f**king huge layered slice of Country Epicure - a three layer chocolate cake - and I'd mix that in a blender and I'd drink it. That's about six thousand calories in that one shake alone.

TB: (laughs)

GV: You think I'm kidding ya? I was throwing bananas in there, yogurt. One time I threw a f**king whole cooked chicken in it. So think about the nuclear explosions that were going on inside me from that shit.

TB: You're crazy!

GV: But let me show you how good that worked: in one month I gained a pound a day. I gained thirty pounds in one month.

TB: Yeah, but you must have been a fat bastard.

GV: I was more like a fat f**k. Anyway, these things would tear my stomach up. One day I downed one of those before I had to drive my school bus. And as I was sitting there driving it hit me and I knew I had to go or I would shit the seat of the bus. But thank God I drove retarded kids. They were special handicapped kids. They weren't aware of what was going on; they would just sit there with their heads bobbing back and forth.

So this one time I pulled the bus over on the side of the road. I ran in the back of the bus and I put newspaper on the floor. I kept watching them as I blasted away onto the newspaper. They had no idea what was going on. They were just nodding their heads back and forth. I took the paper, threw it out the window, and went back to driving the kids home.

TB: Couldn't you have just found a rest stop or something?

GV: I never would have made it. Look, let me tell you something. I have a ten second window. Either I shit or that's it. A year ago I was on vacation with my two children. We were at a smorgasbord when a shit bubble hit me. I told my kids to wait for me outside the bathroom in the parking lot. It was a race: what was going to happen? Either I was going to shit my pants or I was going to make it to the bowl.

So I get into a stall, and I'm wiggling back and forth doing a shit dance trying to get my pants off. I kind of bent over and it happened-I blasted! But I totally missed the toilet and I shit all over the feet of the guy in the stall next to me. He was an old man. I heard him scream, "Ahhhh!" and he punched the side of the stall. Boom! I said, "Jesus Christ, I'm sorry." It was like mud, diarrhea pudding. He jumped up out of the booth and was cursing me, "You son of a bitch!".

When I went outside my kids were like, "Dad, did you do something? A guy came running out of the bathroom cursing with no shoes or socks on." He had thrown his shoes and socks in the garbage. I told my son, Paul, "You're not going to believe it, I shit all over that guy's feet."

**RapaciousShark** · 02-23-2008, 12:49 PM

novastep...you look insane. I can never get that size with that def. I love asking this question: what are you on??

ectomorphia....

**novastepp** · 02-23-2008, 12:50 PM

Atkins

**rockinred** · 02-23-2008, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by RapaciousShark

novastep...you look insane. I can never get that size with that def. I love asking this question: what are you on??

ectomorphia....

thats not him... it is computer brushed.

**novastepp** · 02-23-2008, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by rockinred

thats not him... it is computer brushed.

no brush.

**Ajc330** · 02-23-2008, 01:43 PM

Atomini do you think Greg was just talking out of his ass, because shitting on the guy in the stall over is a little hard to believe or that guy is careless as fvck!

**rockinred** · 02-23-2008, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by novastepp

no brush.

**Atomini** · 02-23-2008, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by Ajc330

Atomini do you think Greg was just talking out of his ass, because shitting on the guy in the stall over is a little hard to believe or that guy is careless as fvck!

I don't know, but the only thing I like about Valentino is his humor. He does sound like a careless guy though, lmfao. That musta been one hell of a diarrhea bomb to actually blast it out before your ass hits the toilet seat!!