This baffles me

**Amorphic** · 03-12-2008, 03:55 PM

So I keep in touch with most of the people I graduated with in highschool through facebook and whatnot. It's funny because right now I'm 21, and when I talk to everyone from highschool, basically either half of them are engaged, married already, pregnant or already have kids.

I dont get it. Why do young people want to settle down so quickly or make such important life decisions at such a young age? I cant even picture having a kid in the next 10 years let alone now...same with being married or engaged or anything.

Am i just a pessimist in thinking that almost all these engagements, marriages or pregancies are going to be regretted by all these people down the road? To me, your 20's are supposed to be spent playing the field, seeing whats out there and eventually deciding what you want further down the road?

what do you guys think?

**Amorphic** · 03-12-2008, 10:06 PM

no one?

**Boochan** · 03-12-2008, 10:25 PM

I read somewhere that the human brain is still developing until your mid-20's (and supposedly that is why car rental agencies set the minimum age at 25).

I'm sure that there are some young relationships that work out - but in my experience they do not last the 18 years necessary to raise the kids.

Of course you never know when true love will grab you by the crotch and drag you along. Funny how life is like that.

Glass half full if this happens - you will learn a lot, experience new emotional states, and enhance your character.

**BigBrad330** · 03-12-2008, 10:55 PM

maybe they got stuck....

**IronReload04** · 03-12-2008, 11:10 PM

I agree with everything you are saying....I am 21 myself......... I think these people are out of their ****en minds to tell you the truth. We are supposed to be enjoying ourselves right now, being young and dum, not to serious, enjoying things while they last....

I think you'd have to be nuts not to get an abortion.......thats just my personal opinion. I am trying to get into grad school right now......and I am a ruthless **** who just doesnt give a **** and is going for mine. I honestly just dont have the time for that kind of stuff.

**Prada** · 03-12-2008, 11:20 PM

I noticed a trend in people who decide to have kids at an early age. There is a correlation amongst these individuals and there level of intelligence, education and ambition in life.

**Hello, stranger** · 03-13-2008, 02:38 AM

I'm a FEMALE in my early 20's.. no bro here... and I agree with Amorphic to some degree.

But as a female I have that "strong, motherly instinct" and have felt it for many years. I would love to be a young mom, do the whole marriage thing etc etc but a big part inside of me tells me I need to wait, for many different reasons. Although, I have to admit I'm jealous of some of those idiots... but I guess I can wait.

***El Diablo*** · 03-13-2008, 03:26 AM

Originally Posted by Hello, stranger

I'm a FEMALE in my early 20's.. no bro here... and I agree with Amorphic to some degree.

But as a female I have that "strong, motherly instinct" and have felt it for many years. I would love to be a young mom, do the whole marriage thing etc etc but a big part inside of me tells me I need to wait, for many different reasons. Although, I have to admit I'm jealous of some of those idiots... but I guess I can wait.

LoL. Wanna make babies bro? ...

**tadpoleboyy** · 03-13-2008, 01:09 PM

yea a lot of my friends have settled down, had a kid, married, gone to jail, died, whatever you wanna call it. Once highschool is over, everyones goes in different directions. Although some people dont do anything at all, and still live at home.

**facile** · 03-13-2008, 01:23 PM

Got married at 26 and divorced at 31, wish I had waited, No need to rush into things, but everyone gets caught up love/infatuation/sexual chemistry it makes you make sponteneous decisions.

My advice is to enjoy your 20's find out who you are and of course have fun. Responsibilities and commitments will pen you down soon enough.

PS: Wrap it up I guess 1 in 4 teen girls have got crotch rot, even if it is like taking a bath with your socks on!

**rockinred** · 03-13-2008, 02:06 PM

Everyone's different... a lot has to do with culture and growing up early due to responsibilities and so on. Prada, I don't see your connect with intellect?? that seems to me like one of those things where if you were one of the married ones you would be saying that the others were still acting young and ignorant... I think what you said is silly.. it really dep e nds on how you define happiness and ambition. personally I see a lot of happy people at all ages and unhappy ones at all ages too. Some get married early and enjoy, while others wait til 30 or later and start... then many say, man I wish I wouldn't have wasted all this time or I also see a lot of people in the early 30's realizing time is catching them and they can no longer find a mate to settle with and they are hurtin for something..lonlieness. All that's left are people on the rebound or bar junky chicks that have been around the block or two.

I married when I was 22, now 33... If I didn't I would probably be locked up... no sekf control if you know what I mean.. so everyone's different if you ask me and it is a matter of perspective.

**IronReload04** · 03-13-2008, 02:12 PM

I personally, can see the big picture. I have limitations at this point in time, and I am aware of them. This is what seperates those of higher intelect from others. one way I see it. and I think thats along the lines of what was being argued originally.

**Narkissos** · 03-13-2008, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by rockinred

Everyone's different... a lot has to do with culture and growing up early due to responsibilities and so on. Prada, I don't see your connect with intellect?? that seems to me like one of those things where if you were one of the married ones you would be saying that the others were still acting young and ignorant... I think what you said is silly.. it really dep e nds on how you define happiness and ambition. personally I see a lot of happy people at all ages and unhappy ones at all ages too. Some get married early and enjoy, while others wait til 30 or later and start... then many say, man I wish I wouldn't have wasted all this time or I also see a lot of people in the early 30's realizing time is catching them and they can no longer find a mate to settle with and they are hurtin for something..lonlieness. All that's left are people on the rebound or bar junky chicks that have been around the block or two.

I married when I was 22, now 33... If I didn't I would probably be locked up... no sekf control if you know what I mean.. so everyone's different if you ask me and it is a matter of perspective.

Good post.

I was supposed to get married in december last year.

It didn't happen... She called it off last minute.

The 5 year relationship subsequently dissolved.

I'm gonna be 26 this year..

I am/was ready to be 'settled'...

Not for children... but to start a new chapter in my life.

Marriage to me isn't the end of life... but the beginning

My wife-to-be was my training partner.

She was to be my business partner...and my life partner.

We worked well together... and the support system was invaluable.

I believe 'playing the field' is a sociological construct... not a required one.

-CNS

**rockinred** · 03-13-2008, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by "Narkissos"

Good post.

I was supposed to get married in december last year.

It didn't happen... She called it off last minute.

The 5 year relationship subsequently dissolved.

I'm gonna be 26 this year..

I am/was ready to be 'settled'...

Not for children... but to start a new chapter in my life.

Marriage to me isn't the end of life... but the beginning

My wife-to-be was my training partner.

She was to be my business partner...and my life partner.

We worked well together... and the support system was invaluable.

I believe 'playing the field' is a sociological construct... not a required one.

-CNS

sorry to hear about that brother... sounds like you understand some valuable things and it also sounds like your ex-women is going to miss out on that... agree with you on what you stated... good luck with your situation.

**Prada** · 03-13-2008, 07:53 PM

Originally Posted by rockinred

Everyone's different... a lot has to do with culture and growing up early due to responsibilities and so on. Prada, I don't see your connect with intellect?? that seems to me like one of those things where if you were one of the married ones you would be saying that the others were still acting young and ignorant... I think what you said is silly.. it really dep e nds on how you define happiness and ambition. personally I see a lot of happy people at all ages and unhappy ones at all ages too. Some get married early and enjoy, while others wait til 30 or later and start... then many say, man I wish I wouldn't have wasted all this time or I also see a lot of people in the early 30's realizing time is catching them and they can no longer find a mate to settle with and they are hurtin for something..lonlieness. All that's left are people on the rebound or bar junky chicks that have been around the block or two.

I married when I was 22, now 33... If I didn't I would probably be locked up... no sekf control if you know what I mean.. so everyone's different if you ask me and it is a matter of perspective.

No I agree, my comment was quite inherent and implicit so I can understand why you interpreted it the way you did. In no way did I define happiness. In no way am I saying that the younger the people get married and have children instantly equates with someone being dense. If I take Amorphics comment and situation, in a major metropolitan, as I am in, if I take all the students in higher education faculties not many have children. Majority of these students range between 21-28. Happens to be that educated individuals make more money and have successful career, even empirical observation will show you that. That does not mean that less educated individuals cant be successful or cant be happy. So yes people who drop out or finish school early tend to settle down and have kids, they can afford to do so. However they aren't getting more education and well they develop their minds less. Again doesn't mean uneducated(college, university) are filled with idiocy.

I agree with you that the social context in which you are in has a great influence. Just like I am in a major metropolitan, perhaps my thoughts would be different in a less cosmopolitan town.

**rockinred** · 03-13-2008, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by Prada

No I agree, my comment was quite inherent and implicit so I can understand why you interpreted it the way you did. In no way did I define happiness. In no way am I saying that the younger the people get married and have children instantly equates with someone being dense. If I take Amorphics comment and situation, in a major metropolitan, as I am in, if I take all the students in higher education faculties not many have children. Majority of these students range between 21-28. Happens to be that educated individuals make more money and have successful career, even empirical observation will show you that. That does not mean that less educated individuals cant be successful or cant be happy. So yes people who drop out or finish school early tend to settle down and have kids, they can afford to do so. However they aren't getting more education and well they develop their minds less. Again doesn't mean uneducated(college, university) are filled with idiocy.

I agree with you that the social context in which you are in has a great influence. Just like I am in a major metropolitan, perhaps my thoughts would be different in a less cosmopolitan town.

Prada, that's pretty good and interesting... I understand where you are coming from.....I did misunderstand what you stated and now agree with what you are saying..I usually come from the angle of happiness which is why I took your comment a little different.... peace brotha, hope you didn't get offended by me on this.

**Prada** · 03-13-2008, 08:19 PM

Originally Posted by rockinred

Prada, that's pretty good and interesting... I understand where you are coming from.....I did misunderstand what you stated and now agree with what you are saying..I usually come from the angle of happiness which is why I took your comment a little different.... peace brotha, hope you didn't get offended by me on this.

No not at all man, you cant take things personally on this board.

I think you and I can agree on one thing for sure and that is: at the end of the day all that matters really is happiness. What ever ones definition of that may be.

**Narkissos** · 03-13-2008, 10:28 PM

Originally Posted by rockinred

sorry to hear about that brother... sounds like you understand some valuable things and it also sounds like your ex-women is going to miss out on that... agree with you on what you stated... good luck with your situation.

It's all good mate.

I had some good people in my corner to help me out.

The administration at school let me de-register (I was final year... full-time, running my own business etc.)

My clients weren't pests. (prior to that..some had been rather demanding)

And my friends didn't get in the way when i tried to rec. drug and drink myself to death. (Never get between a man and his Jack Daniels)

The counselors/psychiatrist didn't put me in a straight jacket. (against their better judgement)

And the priest didn't get all 'better than thou' when I gave God a tongue-lashing.

Today... I'm a harder person.

I'm not sure if i like the person... but, I've survived.

If I had to relive the last 5 years... I'd still end up ready to be married at this point.

Who knows?

Maybe someday i will tie the knot.

'til then... no 'playing the field'.

That much hasn't changed.

I still don't believe in the moral implications of such.

I don't agree that is is the benchmark of youth either.

Being a young adult is about learning to be an adult.

Not trying to hold on to childhood.

No offense to any manwhores.

-CNS

**thegodfather** · 03-13-2008, 10:38 PM

I think its pretty well known that most people who have children age 21 or younger, come from lower socioeconomic backgrounds. So essentially, most of them are Lower class or Lower Middle class individuals. That is the trend I have noticed often among people I know. Also, I have noticed that laborers tend to have children at much earlier ages than professionals do. I think this is mostly due to the fact that laborers start making money immediately out of high school, where as professionals goto college for several years and cannot afford to have children and therefore dont have children till a much later age.