please give this a read guys...

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 07:21 AM

please give this a read guys...

i was with this girl for about 6 months, in the first month i messed around on her (i know its wrong it was dumb), after i strayed things started to get progressively more serious so i stopped messing around on her cause i knew the relationship was solid. however, a few weeks ago i felt we needed to take a step back from things cause they were moving too quickly, however, i maintained good terms with her and still saw her just not as often...that is the background...
during our "separation" her best friend started telling me these horror stories about her before i knew her, how she would basically dip out with random guys at parties and just get slayed by them and then never talk to them again, basically she painted the image of my gf being a complete tramp. my roommate (who is bf/gf with my gf's roommate that was telling me all of this) also got in on it, telling me all this ****ed up shit, they were both saying the perfect things to make me wanna never talk to her again.
well i confronted her about this, after much drama it turns out they were lying to me so that i would leave her. they admitted to making the stories up. my roommate knew about me cheating and he proceeded to drop the dime on me about that, which basically ruined shit for me. he was the one i came to and vented to about all of my shit so he knew everything and he knew exactly what to say to me to get under my skin. i know what i did was wrong, i wouldnt be in this situation if i hadnt cheated. regardless however, i feel like my roommate had no ****ing place to get involved with this, and the fact that he was trying to put things in my head to make me leave her is really wrong in my opinion. I care very much about this girl, which is the only reason im taking the time to write about it.

i need the advice of ppl thinking with a clearer head than me right now, im very tempted to kick down my roommates door and beat the ****ing shit out of him.

HELP!

12

BG · 03-22-2008, 07:30 AM

I myself would beat the shit out of him, but its a tough situation with you two living together. If your seriously pissed, I would work on getting a new place to live first, who the fuc wants to be surrounded by malicious assholes, its only going to get worst imo, they weren't looking out for you at all, seemed the were jealous. Then if you do get out and are still pissed fuc him up, just seems like a bad move if you have to see the dic head everyday.

**borntobeblue** · 03-22-2008, 07:37 AM

torture the pr1ck and all his family

**rockinred** · 03-22-2008, 07:41 AM

well it sounds like it could be a couple of things....

I would say that it is possible that they were not lying to you, but your ex girl confronted them and your roomate took their side on it because he didn't want to lose his piece of ass... so they all agreed that they would stick to their stories as lies to you.... chicks don't lie about that shit...

or they were lying to you for whatever reason they stated....

either way I say the dude is no friend...and deserves an ass kicking... I would try and be alone with him and say "hey man, what's really the deal? and why would you lie to me? or did you really lie to me about that? why did you get involved?" to tell you the truth, he is not a good friend. if someone did that to me they just crossed the line and it is tiime to bang and I wouldn't have any mercy in the fight.. I expect my friends to tell me the truth about stuff like that because I would tell them for sure... I don't know what else to say except I wouldn't trust anyone at this point... get out of that deal and move on..

**solid-d** · 03-22-2008, 08:05 AM

you need better friends bro... I got rid of all my shitty friends, and I trust all my friends 1000%.... I wouldnt have let that happen.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 08:07 AM

this dude only became my friend cause he is my roommate, i didnt know him before i moved in...

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 08:10 AM

rockinred, i am leaning toward believing that they made it up, #1 i have been bringing shit up with my gf for a while about what they were telling me (i wouldnt say where i was getting it from) and she would be getting really upset about it, and yesterday after i told her where i was hearing everything, i saw the txt msgs between them and the friend admitted to making them up to my gf.
i mean i guess everyone can be a ****ing liar here. shit sucks.

**dsw222** · 03-22-2008, 08:26 AM

xxxx

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by dsw222

Personally, I would beat the living piss out of him for messing around in my business like that. But thats probably not the best of choices lol. If you are dating someone, who the **** is he to try and break you up and control your relationships?

How's your girl taking all this?

she is really upset. honestly i just wish i could undo the pain she is in. getting back with her is not even my main priority at this point.

i dont know what im gonna do about my roommate, im at my boiling point with him, if i tried to talk to him i would probably snap

**DSM4Life** · 03-22-2008, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by number twelve

please give this a read guys...

i was with this girl for about 6 months, in the first month i messed around on her (i know its wrong it was dumb), after i strayed things started to get progressively more serious so i stopped messing around on her cause i knew the relationship was solid. however, a few weeks ago i felt we needed to take a step back from things cause they were moving too quickly, however, i maintained good terms with her and still saw her just not as often...that is the background...
during our "separation" her best friend started telling me these horror stories about her before i knew her, how she would basically dip out with random guys at parties and just get slayed by them and then never talk to them again, basically she painted the image of my gf being a complete tramp. my roommate (who is bf/gf with my gf's roommate that was telling me all of this) also got in on it, telling me all this ****ed up shit, they were both saying the perfect things to make me wanna never talk to her again.
well i confronted her about this, after much drama it turns out they were lying to me so that i would leave her. they admitted to making the stories up. my roommate knew about me cheating and he proceeded to drop the dime on me about that, which basically ruined shit for me. he was the one i came to and vented to about all of my shit so he knew everything and he knew exactly what to say to me to get under my skin. i know what i did was wrong, i wouldnt be in this situation if i hadnt cheated. regardless however, i feel like my roommate had no ****ing place to get involved with this, and the fact that he was trying to put things in my head to make me leave her is really wrong in my opinion. I care very much about this girl, which is the only reason im taking the time to write about it.

i need the advice of ppl thinking with a clearer head than me right now, im very tempted to kick down my roommates door and beat the ****ing shit out of him.

HELP!

12

Your roommate should have kept his mouth shut but that is neither here nor there. At the same time you can't totally blame him for everything that has happened. After all you made the mistake by cheating on her and now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 08:46 AM

i agree dsm i know that...i stated that i knew i was in the wrong

**DSM4Life** · 03-22-2008, 08:48 AM

Originally Posted by number twelve

i agree dsm i know that...i stated that i knew i was in the wrong

Then act like a grown up and move on. Your mad at him for "ratting" you out but how do you think she feels about being cheated on ?

Just move on man.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 09:10 AM

yeah i know what your saying, you are right. thanks bro

**rockinred** · 03-22-2008, 09:16 AM

whole lot of betrayal going on here... and for stand up people that pain doesn't really ever go away entirely. Bad Deal, life lesson for everyone. I wouldn't get too down on yourself about the cheating part if it was within your first month of dating... maybe if it was later down the road, then I would think more of it... don't let them twist that on your emotions... there is something more to all this, why did they want to get you away from her if it were lies? I don't know man, it sounds like you would have to gauge the whole situation off of knowing all of them personally and how they react... it would be hard to move on in any of the relationships for me though... to have in the back of your head that your gf will do what they said is hard,,, and having to look at the other two in the eyes after all the betrayal is another story too... sorry, all i have to say is be honest to all about how you feel and then harden up and move on... it will just be a thing of the past and life lesson going forward... of course unless you believe her and believe the other two were lying,then get back with her and move away from the other two... because either way they backstabbed both her and you... so that is all i have to say to try and help out.

**ecivon** · 03-22-2008, 09:19 AM

Fvcking man it up dude. Sounds like a soap opera to me. Why would you want to ask a forum on how to deal with these kinds of issues? You seriously don't know how to deal with it? Then suffer the consequences. Childish immature high school shit, act like an adult, unless you aren't.

**hugovsilva** · 03-22-2008, 09:19 AM

You will probably never get her back but there is one thing you can do and that is moving to another place. You don't want people like that around you.

If you beat him up or not its up to you. I know I wouldn't. Scumbags like that are not worth the trouble.

**MASTER** · 03-22-2008, 09:27 AM

Sounds like one of those prick, shit stirring, dogooder wannabes. I for one would lock in an armbar and give him the chance to explain himself, if the explanation isn't good, his joints a poppin.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by ecivon

Fvcking man it up dude. Sounds like a soap opera to me. Why would you want to ask a forum on how to deal with these kinds of issues? You seriously don't know how to deal with it? Then suffer the consequences. Childish immature high school shit, act like an adult, unless you aren't.

hey buddy if u dont have anything productive to say just go back upstairs out of your families basement where you live and have your mom make you a sandwich and keep your comments to yourself. thanks.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by rockinred

whole lot of betrayal going on here... and for stand up people that pain doesn't really ever go away entirely. Bad Deal, life lesson for everyone. I wouldn't get too down on yourself about the cheating part if it was within your first month of dating... maybe if it was later down the road, then I would think more of it... don't let them twist that on your emotions... there is something more to all this, why did they want to get you away from her if it were lies? I don't know man, it sounds like you would have to gauge the whole situation off of knowing all of them personally and how they react... it would be hard to move on in any of the relationships for me though... to have in the back of your head that your gf will do what they said is hard,,, and having to look at the other two in the eyes after all the betrayal is another story too... sorry, all i have to say is be honest to all about how you feel and then harden up and move on... it will just be a thing of the past and life lesson going forward... of course unless you believe her and believe the other two were lying,then get back with her and move away from the other two... because either way they backstabbed both her and you... so that is all i have to say to try and help out.

thanks bro i agree i feel like there is sometihng more going on...i guess i just need to man up and move on...i came clean with her about everything, told her how sorry i was. i am not a malicious person i never wanted to hurt her, it was a dumb decision.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by hugovsilva

You will probably never get her back but there is one thing you can do and that is moving to another place. You don't want people like that around you.

If you beat him up or not its up to you. I know I wouldn't. Scumbags like that are not worth the trouble.

i doubt ill end up doing anything physically to him, its not my way.

**Schmidty** · 03-22-2008, 10:04 AM

I wonder why ur roommate would do that??? not maken sence 2 me

**Swiggy** · 03-22-2008, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by Schmidty

I wonder why ur roommate would do that??? not maken sence 2 me

I agree, sounds like there is more to this whole story with your roomate (hes obviously not a friend) and his gf. I don't know the history between you and the gf, but it was only the first month you were with her.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 01:22 PM

i dont really know. i randomly became roommates with him and our friendship developed from there. they claimed to be telling me all of these things in order to drive me away from my gf for her own good cause they didnt think she would ever leave me. i do not know what to believe. shit is crazy but i decided im gonna talk to my roommate in a calm manner and express how i feel. i still need to live with him until the end of the semester.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 01:23 PM

9 members viewing lets get some responses guy! any would be appreciatted!

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 03-22-2008, 01:37 PM

Sounds like your room mate was trying to stir things up for you hoping to get some for himself, ive seen that happen before and this would come as no shock. In teh game of shagging your frined girls there are no friends.

Looking at it from a critical eye yes he was wrong but it could have all been avoided if you had not said anything in the first place, sounds harsh but you caused the stirring yourself pal.
I hear you are hurting for her, but to be honest, its gone now, take a step back and move on... perhaps one day your paths will cross again, maybe she will feel something for you in the future and you hanging on in there now wont help that. But dont go holding your breath on it.

On ur roomie, id say just let him know how it is, tell him what you think and let him know that all you do is live togther... thats all and leav it at that. Its chidish to go pounding him for it, at the end of the day you brought it on yourself. Just take it all as a lesson and remember for the future, trust no one.

**Amorphic** · 03-22-2008, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by Odpierdol_sie!

Sounds like your room mate was trying to stir things up for you hoping to get some for himself, ive seen that happen before and this would come as no shock. In teh game of shagging your frined girls there are no friends.

Looking at it from a critical eye yes he was wrong but it could have all been avoided if you had not said anything in the first place, sounds harsh but you caused the stirring yourself pal.
I hear you are hurting for her, but to be honest, its gone now, take a step back and move on... perhaps one day your paths will cross again, maybe she will feel something for you in the future and you hanging on in there now wont help that. But dont go holding your breath on it.

On ur roomie, id say just let him know how it is, tell him what you think and let him know that all you do is live togther... thats all and leav it at that. Its chidish to go pounding him for it, at the end of the day you brought it on yourself. Just take it all as a lesson and remember for the future, trust no one.

i agree totally, he was out to fvck you and take the girl.

move out and keep your chin up, dont let these asshole fvck with your head.

sorry to hear about it bro.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by Odpierdol_sie!

Sounds like your room mate was trying to stir things up for you hoping to get some for himself, ive seen that happen before and this would come as no shock. In teh game of shagging your frined girls there are no friends.

Looking at it from a critical eye yes he was wrong but it could have all been avoided if you had not said anything in the first place, sounds harsh but you caused the stirring yourself pal.
I hear you are hurting for her, but to be honest, its gone now, take a step back and move on... perhaps one day your paths will cross again, maybe she will feel something for you in the future and you hanging on in there now wont help that. But dont go holding your breath on it.

On ur roomie, id say just let him know how it is, tell him what you think and let him know that all you do is live togther... thats all and leav it at that. Its chidish to go pounding him for it, at the end of the day you brought it on yourself. Just take it all as a lesson and remember for the future, trust no one.

hey bro thanks for your response...
He is dating my X's roommate so i dont think his intentions are to get a piece for himself.

I agree this is my fault and that i could have avoided it by not cheating on her, but i dont know what your referring to when u say " it could have all been avoided if you had not said anything in the first place, sounds harsh but you caused the stirring yourself pal."

and thats exactly what i plan on doing in regards to my roommate

thanks again man

**jaydub** · 03-22-2008, 03:01 PM

i just wouldn't say sh!t to him. all i'd do is tell him you're moving out, then walk away. if he tries to say anything, just tell him that he's a d!ck, and you got nothing to say, and if he don't stay out of your way yer gonna knock his teeth down his throat. he knows where he f*cked up at

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 03-22-2008, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by number twelve

hey bro thanks for your response...
He is dating my X's roommate so i dont think his intentions are to get a piece for himself.

I agree this is my fault and that i could have avoided it by not cheating on her, but i dont know what your referring to when u say " it could have all been avoided if you had not said anything in the first place, sounds harsh but you caused the stirring yourself pal."

and thats exactly what i plan on doing in regards to my roommate

thanks again man

If you had not said anything to him to start with. Things like that are best kept to yourself... i learned the hard way and well i guess you have now too.

**number twelve** · 03-22-2008, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Odpierdol_sie!

If you had not said anything to him to start with. Things like that are best kept to yourself... i learned the hard way and well i guess you have now too.

oh yea, this is true your absolutely right...

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 03-22-2008, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by number twelve

oh yea, this is true your absolutely right...

Its ok tho pal, it will get better.... im sure you are aware there are more than just this girl out there for you. Just have to accept the truth get over it .

Some say its best to get yourself back in the game, but to be honest ive found it best to do the things you have always loved doing but never had time before, or do something you have always wanted to.

**wilson9d** · 03-22-2008, 05:37 PM

Bottom line you need to move on and if she is the one she will come back to you. Then Kick the dude out. Personally I would have to find out their motive for trying to break the two of you up.

**briancb1** · 03-23-2008, 11:22 PM

honestly bro I've had good relationships go south just because of dumb stuff that gets out of hand. Call it "the wrong time in your life" or call it "bad luck" or whatever, these things happen.

Sometimes the relationships are salvageable and just as often they are sometime just completely gone. It sucks to see a girl you know who you are attrated to and is good for you go but thats life sometimes.

See if you can just hang out as friends and be your smart & funny self around her - dont be a whinny cry baby that acts sad that you arn't together - it will repel her quickly. Let her see the guy she was attracted to in the first place. If she still doesn't want to continue a relationship with you then drop it - just fade away. Part of growing up and becoming a real man (not just age) is knowing when to let things go.

Another one will come around again that makes you feel the same I'm serious. I have the best girl ever right now, and I wasted well over a year trying to get my old girl back - what a waste of time and effort it was. Don't do that!

**WEBB** · 03-24-2008, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by solid-d

you need better friends bro... I got rid of all my shitty friends, and I trust all my friends 1000%.... I wouldnt have let that happen.

EXACTLY

**number twelve** · 03-24-2008, 06:54 AM

hey thanks for all the responses guys...
an update of the situation is that my roommate is avoiding me, i have texted him and such but he hasnt responded and he stays in his room...im pretty sure my Xgf still wants me, she is willing to forgive me for the cheating. i plan on sitting my roommate down and talking to him like an adult, saying that I know i am in the wrong here, but he had no business getting involved and saying those thnigs to me. another dilemma i have is i dont know who is lying to me or what, so basically im kinda assuming everyone is lying. i have seen my X the last 2 nights and everything is ok there, but not knowing what to believe is in the back of my mind...

thanks again

12