Soooooo upset, need help

**needmorestrength** · 03-30-2008, 02:00 AM

Ok been with this girl for a year, I finished school the other day, she still has two years left, and basically we're laying in bed tonight and she said she feels that she she doesnt have the feelings she should (Im the first guy shes dated this long) and even said she wasnt that attracted to me.. Im glad it happened now, and no jokes im not ugly so like wtf?? But im so hurt, I have put heart and sole into this!!!

**nowdenlid** · 03-30-2008, 02:10 AM

sorry to hear that bro ,time is a healer my man and thing ill get better ,i have been in the same boat as you and its not nice,tyr and keep your self busy bro

**needmorestrength** · 03-30-2008, 02:46 AM

Like she is laying in my bed still right now, like what the ****... she is not sure what to do.. ****

**MuscleScience** · 03-30-2008, 02:58 AM

Get rid of her, find someone new. If she has any hesitation in her mind then its already over. No sense in prolonging the inivitable.

Not trying to be cold but this is coming from personal experiance.

***perfectbeast2001*** · 03-30-2008, 03:11 AM

thats why you should have a mistress

**tight booty** · 03-30-2008, 03:17 AM

It would be hurtful to hear this! A few years ago something similar happened to a couple of friends of mine who were dating. She told the guy that she didn't think she was in love with him, even though she loved him....wtf?
Anyway he broke up with her and then she was upset and had alot of regrets. But it was too late. The guy told me that it hurt him so much and he had given his heart and soul and done so much for her to be told that she wasn't in love with him and basically how could he continue with her after she revealed this to him.

**tight booty** · 03-30-2008, 03:18 AM

It would be hurtful to hear this! A few years ago something similar happened to a couple of friends of mine who were dating. She told the guy that she didn't think she was in love with him, even though she loved him....wtf?
Anyway he broke up with her and then she was upset and had alot of regrets. But it was too late. The guy told me that it hurt him so much and he had given his heart and soul and done so much for her to be told that she wasn't in love with him and basically how could he continue with her after she revealed this to him.

**Odpierdol_sie!** · 03-30-2008, 07:31 AM

Originally Posted by perfectbeast2001

thats why you should have a mistress

Now this i agree with lol. Preferably an older one that likes leather and gimp masks like lady sonja or sumthing

**tommy0677** · 03-30-2008, 08:25 AM

I'd pack her shit up while she was sleeping and when she woke up her sh*t would be by the door waiting for her a$$.

Been in this same boat my friend and it sucks. The only difference with my experience was that a boy of mine, who's one of those dating site playas, told me he thought he saw her pic online and he forwarded her ad to me and I was like WTF!!!! This was after 4 years of putting her a$$ first.

Kick her to the curb bro, because something better is out there waiting for you to be single.

**DSM4Life** · 03-30-2008, 09:39 AM

Come lay in my bed, ill give you the feelings that you deserve

**needmorestrength** · 03-30-2008, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Come lay in my bed, ill give you the feelings that you deserve

hahah thanks... Im going to give her a week or so and some space and see if we cant talk etc

**Diary of a Mad-man** · 03-30-2008, 10:59 AM

Dude, maybe thats her nice way of NOT telling you the BAD news. Be creative and think of it yourself (she was passed around at a frat party, she's a man, etc.).

No offense, but thats what came to mind first because her reasons sound a little lame.

DSM, you try to f4ck everyone in the middle of their "my mom has cancer" thread or "I have an ingrown toenail" thread. LOL. You need to take some Letro for a few months.

**tommy0677** · 03-30-2008, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by Diary of a Mad-man

Dude, maybe thats her nice way of NOT telling you the BAD news.

^^^ Totally agree with Mad-man. Grow a pair and find a better woman or go wash your pu$$y and let this snatch take what little dignity you got left.
JMHO

**DSM4Life** · 03-30-2008, 11:17 AM

Originally Posted by tommy0677

^^^ Totally agree with Mad-man. Grow a pair and find a better woman or go wash your pu$$y and let this snatch take what little dignity you got left.
JMHO

and an opinion from someone who hasn't gone through "chick pain." We, guys that have gone through it, can tell from your colds/inconsiderate statements. That or your just an A-hole.
JMHO

**tommy0677** · 03-30-2008, 11:25 AM

Don't get me wrong DSM, I'm just saying I wouldn't try to stay with someone who didn't have feelings for me or didn't find me attractive. I'm sure you wouldn't either??? Some things just can't be fixed with "time off" in relationships. I'm just agreeing with Mad-man in his saying that maybe she has an underlying motive for her lack of feelings.

On a side note I can admit I can be a bit of an arse at times, but I'm very far from being a cold unemotional person. I can even admit to being hit by these so called "chick pains" myself. Those pains are felt by everyone at some point or another.

**Diary of a Mad-man** · 03-30-2008, 11:35 AM

Yeah thats what i meant to say, underlying motives......they might not be apocalyptic either, I was just saying it in my jerk way. Say for example, she saw you eat a booger one time, instead of cheeting.

**Amorphic** · 03-30-2008, 11:47 AM

you'll feel better in the long run if you get rid of her before things get really bad.

from the sounds of it, you can be with someone that is more attracted to you.

why settle for anything less?

**needmorestrength** · 03-30-2008, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by tommy0677

Don't get me wrong DSM, I'm just saying I wouldn't try to stay with someone who didn't have feelings for me or didn't find me attractive. I'm sure you wouldn't either??? Some things just can't be fixed with "time off" in relationships. I'm just agreeing with Mad-man in his saying that maybe she has an underlying motive for her lack of feelings.

On a side note I can admit I can be a bit of an arse at times, but I'm very far from being a cold unemotional person. I can even admit to being hit by these so called "chick pains" myself. Those pains are felt by everyone at some point or another.

The thing is, this time last year she had a freak out on me and said hurtful things, I think shes depressed and I think some thing around this time of the year in her life, something bad happened!! Im hoping for the best, its not a dignity thing, its knowing theres something going on in her head that unfortunatly neither of us can control, if its truly how she feels then I guess I'll know in a week or two, but I owe it to myself to find out, dont ya think

**tommy0677** · 03-30-2008, 12:48 PM

Well now that there's more to the story, just disregard my earlier post about just booting her. Just try sitting down with her and talk about her. If this kinda thing happens yearly around this time, (underlying motive)>>> maybe she lost someone close or worst case is sick and trying to protect you by pushing you away? Just don't be pushy or tricky about how you do it. If you love her , which it sounds you do, tell her because maybe she just needs that kinda kick in the bum to open up. Just remember.... DON'T BE PUSHY.

**AandF6969** · 03-30-2008, 12:49 PM

Why chase a bitch when you can replace a bitch

**number twelve** · 03-30-2008, 01:02 PM

at least she is being honest and upfront with you. better this than find out she has been ****ing around behind your back...

**lotaquestions** · 03-30-2008, 01:24 PM

i think that she has found someone new, not yet dating/sleeping with him, but is interested in pursuing it. she doesnt want to be a "cheater" so she is trying to justify her breaking up with you for this guy in her own mind. she trying to convince herself that she doesnt really care about you, instead of admitting that she is curious to pursue other realationships.

doesnt matter either way it still hurts like hell. what ever happens take some time to evaluate yourself and work on improving every aspect of your life, with or with out her.

**DeputyLoneWolf** · 03-30-2008, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

Ok been with this girl for a year, I finished school the other day, she still has two years left, and basically we're laying in bed tonight and she said she feels that she she doesnt have the feelings she should (Im the first guy shes dated this long) and even said she wasnt that attracted to me.. Im glad it happened now, and no jokes im not ugly so like wtf?? But im so hurt, I have put heart and sole into this!!!

Hey man, a lot better now than after a two years of marriage...

**Diary of a Mad-man** · 03-30-2008, 02:26 PM

or in my case, a son 4 states away.

**DSM4Life** · 03-30-2008, 04:23 PM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

Ok been with this girl for a year, I finished school the other day, she still has two years left, and basically we're laying in bed tonight and she said she feels that she she doesnt have the feelings she should (Im the first guy shes dated this long) and even said she wasnt that attracted to me.. Im glad it happened now, and no jokes im not ugly so like wtf?? But im so hurt, I have put heart and sole into this!!!

How old is she ? If this is her first LTR then having some time apart might just be the solution. Like they say , you don't know what you have till you lose it. So give her the time and see how you both feel while being apart.

Saying that she isn't "that attracted" to you seems like a very immature thing to say to someone.

**dirtball_619** · 03-30-2008, 04:26 PM

ya thats pretty much ownage.

once you find a better girl or atleast a differant one you wont look back, trust me.

doesnt seem feasible now but once you get another girl in your life you wont look back.

**needmorestrength** · 03-30-2008, 06:56 PM

Originally Posted by tommy0677

Well now that there's more to the story, just disregard my earlier post about just booting her. Just try sitting down with her and talk about her. If this kinda thing happens yearly around this time, (underlying motive)>>> maybe she lost someone close or worst case is sick and trying to protect you by pushing you away? Just don't be pushy or tricky about how you do it. If you love her , which it sounds you do, tell her because maybe she just needs that kinda kick in the bum to open up. Just remember.... DON'T BE PUSHY.

Everyones telling me the same thing, give her space and let her deal with the issues, and dont be pushy.. We have been fighting a lot the last month and havnt seen each other much due to stresses in school and work etc

**needmorestrength** · 03-30-2008, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by lotaquestions

i think that she has found someone new, not yet dating/sleeping with him, but is interested in pursuing it. she doesnt want to be a "cheater" so she is trying to justify her breaking up with you for this guy in her own mind. she trying to convince herself that she doesnt really care about you, instead of admitting that she is curious to pursue other realationships.

doesnt matter either way it still hurts like hell. what ever happens take some time to evaluate yourself and work on improving every aspect of your life, with or with out her.

Thanks but thats not a concern

**needmorestrength** · 03-30-2008, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

How old is she ? If this is her first LTR then having some time apart might just be the solution. Like they say , you don't know what you have till you lose it. So give her the time and see how you both feel while being apart.

Saying that she isn't "that attracted" to you seems like a very immature thing to say to someone.

it is her first LTR and she is immature when it comes to relationship stuff because of this

**dirtball_619** · 03-30-2008, 07:04 PM

first ltr.. hmmm.

one thing ive learned is that a girl needs to have some experience with long term relationships before she jumps into one with me. what if she learns shes too young to settle down etc a few years down the road. she might run off and hurt you even worse. i mean after all, she doesnt have any experience so whats she supposed to do? hows she supposed to know what to do in thise situation? she WONT.

consider this a learning experience for the both of you

**firmechicano831** · 03-31-2008, 02:01 PM

I think it's really time to move on. What she really try to say is that she doesn't love you anymore or has feelings for you. Find a new girl and have her knock on you're door tomorrow. Have ur current girl open the door, once she ask's you who the girl in front is asking for him. say " she's the one replacing you, she's here to keep me warm at night. wink, wink, then say. Sorry babe but you have to go now. I guess it's what you wanted. right?" lol