Ever find people you know start to treat you aggressively when you get bigger?

[running_scared]

Hey fine folks. Here's my story, next will follow a question...

I've worked at the same place now for 2 years, and over that time period I've held a smallish weight of 182 at 6'2''. Yeah, kinda skinny right? Well, largely due to Milos Sarcev and our diet forum (plus learning to train properly on my own and experimentation) I've grown to 205. I like. However, everyones reaction to this (and my growth was not overnight, but many, many months) growth has been two sided. I work in construction, so some of the guys are impressed and treat me with much more respect. My boss for example is much more attentive to what I say or how I contribute to conversations.

There are a small crowd though, that have since my new weight took form, started to use passive aggression with near all of my actions. Call it Jealousy or something going on in their personal life...but it's damn frustrating. I've had a 56 year old man claim to me that he is the best hitter on the company sports team (yeah....right) and can easily beat up anyone. I know by the tone of his voice this was directed at me, so I simply stared as I would at grass while mowing it in the summer - no thought. This is frustrating I find because I am very mild and meek, but for people to constantly pump up their *alpha dog* status is so confusing, and just makes me itch to invite the other person to a boxing gym or so forth.

Another dude is treating me like that gay guy "how much you bench man???" From Boogie nights. All he talks about is how he can beat my records at the gym.

Am I alone here with this? Anyone give experiences on those who may have troubled you with when you started to make big changes for your life for the better? What did you do?

Thanks guys!

[Panzerfaust]

Have you ever found it difficult to read a sentence with terrible punctuation? I'm not so sure it is what you think it is, maybe you come off like a meathead? Just asking...I do not have any issues whatsoever with coworkers.

[xlxBigSexyxlx]

If anything, it seems I get more respect

[Manorexic]

i just beat people up.... constantly.... no questions asked....

[Big]

I'll let you know when I get big...

[DSM4Life]

*shakes head ...........ego's.

[Schmidty]

i just beat people up.... constantly.... no questions asked....

with chairs???

[IronReload04]

I find that people are more likely to remember my name.....and just one example of something.......yesterday, we were handing in papers, (female proff very cute), out of about 10 people who directly handed them into her, I was the only person that she spoke to....

I know thats no big deal.....really, it really is no big deal....But its very small stuff like that....a lot of small stuff just like that.

[WEBB]

it is jealousy and "alpha dog" crap...there will always be someone out there that will tell you have or do lift more, was or will be bigger..it is how you react to these situations that determine how big of a man you really are...i just laugh and smile and agree with them no matter how ridiculous...

[IronReload04]

it is jealousy and "alpha dog" crap...there will always be someone out there that will tell you have or do lift more, was or will be bigger..it is how you react to these situations that determine how big of a man you really are...i just laugh and smile and agree with them no matter how ridiculous...

webb, I cannot tell you how many people I have met, that used to bench so and so and used to weight so and so and used to be as big as so and so.

One time, I was talking to these two rediculously gorgious chicks.....This guy comes over, just randomly, didnt even know him, just to tell me that I looked pretty big to break the ice into the convo, than proceeded to brag about himself and that he used to bench 450...theirs that used to word again...Ironically, he asked for a spot from me one time, and had the absolute most God awful form I have ever seen on the bench press bouncing 295 off the chest for one and not bouncing hard enough on number 2......
and just for the record, I dont bench press myself because I believe it to be a ego garbage exercsise...

and when I get asked how much I bench, i respond by saying its a garbage exercise that has torn more pecs than you can believe and I dont do it because I dont feel its safe for me.


ok end rant.....lol.....The best response I have thought up, and use it all the time...goes like this......I just act real in awe and congradulate them, and say something like "wow, I cant imagine how kick ass that must have been....muscle memory is great, you should get in back nor prob. and in no time" crickets.

[thetank]

webb, I cannot tell you how many people I have met, that used to bench so and so and used to weight so and so and used to be as big as so and so.

One time, I was talking to these two rediculously gorgious chicks.....This guy comes over, just randomly, didnt even know him, just to tell me that I looked pretty big to break the ice into the convo, than proceeded to brag about himself and that he used to bench 450...theirs that used to word again...Ironically, he asked for a spot from me one time, and had the absolute most God awful form I have ever seen on the bench press bouncing 295 off the chest for one and not bouncing hard enough on number 2......
and just for the record, I dont bench press myself because I believe it to be a ego garbage exercsise...

and when I get asked how much I bench, i respond by saying its a garbage exercise that has torn more pecs than you can believe and I dont do it because I dont feel its safe for me.


ok end rant.....lol.....The best response I have thought up, and use it all the time...goes like this......I just act real in awe and congradulate them, and say something like "wow, I cant imagine how kick ass that must have been....muscle memory is great, you should get in back nor prob. and in no time" crickets.

haha man...ive had that conversation with so many people its ****in ridiculous..when some asshole comes up to me and talks to me about working out..and how he used to be "about my size" or some kind of other bullshit, i always just partonize them untill they leave me alone. hah ive actually told probably a couple dozen people that i bench 950 lbs, and squat over 1000, just because i know they dont know what theyre talkign about..and literally every time ive said that, no one has questioned me. im obviously all about working out, i ****in love talking about the gym with people who genuinely appreciate it, but i hate it when people walk up to me and automatically feel like they have a shortcoming they have to make up for by lying about all these laurels they think earns themselves respect from me, when really i dont give a crap whether or not they work out.

[thetank]

and a more subtle correlation ive definately noticed, is the bigger you get, the harder other guys want to shake your hand. ive had some iron gripped hardcore labouring middle aged guys seriously try to break my hand in 1/2.

[Kratos]

I've always been bigger so IDK. I've been over 200 pounds since 15. Maintained 225-240 through college doing sports and staying lean. Have not been lower than 230 since college.

[Schmidty]

I asked a guy to spot me on DB press sunday and when i was doen he was telling me he had weighed 257lbs "rock fvckn solid" when he was my age and he could bench 405lbs. And to prove it he showed me his strechmark next to his arm pit(not attractive armpits at that lol). The guy looked like he had never picked up a weight i his life...

[bigt10]

usually people who are insecure or depressed will always be jealous and try to put you down.

all you can do is pass it off or what i love to do is mae them feel even worse about themselfs.

if some fat guy is making jokes cause im bigger and more muscular i almost will always make a joke about all the lady's checkin him or say something like how is the wieght loss coming.

if your nice to everyone you wont have problems, some people just do have problems those are the ones you have to put down.

[inky-e]

Jealousy and envy bro! They probably do that to get a reaction from you, if you ignore them or act indifferent to what they say and do, it will prove that you are the "bigger" man.

[nameuser]

I have gotten comments from people saying that muscular people are less fit than athletes because too much muscle puts a strain on the heart. And that bodybuilders are actually weak because they can't run a few miles without taking a rest.

One older man said he was as fit as me when he was younger, and when you get older it's impossible to keep fit.

It's due to a lack of self-esteem about their fitness levels. Some people don't like overachievers because it makes them feel mediocre. Some people always want to be on the top of the ladder, even if that means putting someone else down. Kind of like how some students get picked on at school for getting good marks. Makes evolutionary sense, you have less mates available if you've got better competitors than you.

[fatback25]

Congratulations on your progress and keep it up. But 6'2" 205 is not that big. I think you just work with a bunch of assholes. Who cares what anyone says or thinks, just keep growing while they keep being pathetic.

[Kratos]

I think when people say I once was in shape, they are acknowledging you are in good shape and just trying to find a common ground with you. They want to talk to you, take it as a compliment. Don't let your ego get in the way of you making friends. People want to know the big guy.

[Puffader]

I hate the Bench question. I use 2 answers for this. It matters how I feel.
Q. Hey dude your huge, how much do you you bench?
A. ALOT MORE THEN YOU! This shuts them up
or
A. 135 for 10 reps......This leaves them speechless.....

[DSM4Life]

Everytime i get the how much is your bench question i say "who cares," which is quickly followed by a question, how much is your deadlift ? I normally get a blank stare because they don't even know what the hell a deadlift is.

[IronReload04]

usually people who are insecure or depressed will always be jealous and try to put you down.

all you can do is pass it off or what i love to do is mae them feel even worse about themselfs.

if some fat guy is making jokes cause im bigger and more muscular i almost will always make a joke about all the lady's checkin him or say something like how is the wieght loss coming.

if your nice to everyone you wont have problems, some people just do have problems those are the ones you have to put down.

but when you do that, you are stooping down to their level.....They are bringing you down......maintain your level.......be classy...not only are you not being a jerk, that other person has the option to either
a. get their head out of their ass
b. feel worse

[IronReload04]

I think when people say I once was in shape, they are acknowledging you are in good shape and just trying to find a common ground with you. They want to talk to you, take it as a compliment. Don't let your ego get in the way of you making friends. People want to know the big guy.

kratos----never not once have I looked at it that way....excellent post man....see, thats why staying classy with your response, like I do, is for the best.

[IronReload04]

Everytime i get the how much is your bench question i say "who cares," which is quickly followed by a question, how much is your deadlift ? I normally get a blank stare because they don't even know what the hell a deadlift is.

"its not what you bench", "Its what you look like you can bench"

is a nice response as well.

[bigt10]

well try to befreind them, as he said people wanna make freinds with th ebig guy.

be freindly and approachable.

if they are some depressed asshole then just make a few smart ass coments to put them back down.

w/e you do dont feel bad or sink to that level they are. the main thing is you dont feel bad, try to befreind them and its obvious they want to bring you down then screw them.

[IronReload04]

well try to befreind them, as he said people wanna make freinds with th ebig guy.

be freindly and approachable.

if they are some depressed asshole then just make a few smart ass coments to put them back down.

w/e you do dont feel bad or sink to that level they are. the main thing is you dont feel bad, try to befreind them and its obvious they want to bring you down then screw them.

the way I look at it. making a few smart ass comments, is a result of them bringing you down.


befriend them, and if they continue acting like a jerk, let them be..no need to be out of character....when they get you out of character, they win.

[rockinred]

let me put it to you like this... YOUR NOT BIG ENOUGH! if you have people being aggressive toward you, it is cause your not big enough... when you get big people become passive toward you, which is the exact opposite.... at least they do me.

at 6ft 2in... you should be at around 250+ then you will see.

[WEBB]

95% of the guys use it as a way to make friends and the do envy you...they look up to you and want to talk to you and they think this is the best way...just take it as acompliment and dont be a dick, so you get that big meat head stereo type...

also i find more girls now use it as a way to break the ice, without lookin like or coming off like a slut...they use it to start a convo and then its game over...hahahah

[IronReload04]

let me put it to you like this... YOUR NOT BIG ENOUGH! if you have people being aggressive toward you, it is cause your not big enough... when you get big people become passive toward you, which is the exact opposite.... at least they do me.

at 6ft 2in... you should be at around 250+ then you will see.

I dont believe this......I listened in on a thread at intensemuscle.com......specifically dante, SuperD, and some other big names......real big names, real big guys......And they say they get treated aggressively, because other guys have something to prove, so they are always starting crap with the big guy.......We're talkin the real deal NPC nationals or ifbb level here.

[WEBB]

i disagree as well....no matter how big i have gotten, 308 to be exact, i still had people being agressive...doesnt matter how big you are its how you carry yourself....

[T3/T4 GSR]

My friend is 6'7 and 300lbs and he gets started with more than anyone I know at bars because some drunk dick wants to prove he can hang with the biggest guy in the world. He is the nicest guy around and realllly hard to get fighting but if you disrespect him enough there is a good chance you're getting dropped. Sad thing is most of the time it is some juicehead who thinks cause he ran some deca and dbol he can suddenly beat everyone up.

[rockinred]

I guess you can say that it is how you carry yourself??... I was at 5ft 8in 185lbs when I started and now 243 (current cycle).... I guess never really had people start with me before anyhow, but now it seems a lot turn their head or act real cool.... I am mellow, but I found the opposite of aggressive as I grew.

as far as ifbb, i don't know? just stating my experience.