Ho Humm, another breaking up sob story

[RockyX]

Actually I really haven't decided what to do..I have been with this girl for over 3 years now and we are engaged. The first couple of months she lied alot and kissed other guys and went on dates I didn't know about under the premise that even though we spent every night together we weren't officially together. We had both just come off of long-term relationships. Then in February we were going through a hard time and she tells some dude she has a crush on him and wanted to spend more time with him and stuff (read this in an email she wrote to a friend of hers). Since we've been together I've put up with a lot of shit..from her going on these secret dates (3 yrs ago) to holding her while she cried bcuz her ex-boyfriend wouldn't talk to her anymore (maybe a year and a half ago) to the shit that happened in february. And with all this piled ontop of each other I just don't know if I can ever trust her, and all we do now is fight bcuz of it...like every day. Now all of a sudden she's "opened her eyes" so she says, and is 100% devoted...but she still texts guys and shit..I know she loves me, I've been away for a week and she balls all the time bcuz she misses me..just sux...and when I get around her its hard for me to break it off for a couple reasons...one she's like super-model hot, and two I hate to see her cry. But neither of us is happy...wtf...anyways just venting..going to take a midol now.

[RockyX]

To complicate things even more we just bought a house together with my $18,000 down payment but her name is on the title as well as her grand-dads as a cosigner..jesus christ I'm retarded.

[RuhlFreak55]

hmmm....well if she's been kinda playin around on ya then i dunno how you can salvage that really.....trust can't ever be fully regained i don't believe

["Maximus"]

Actually I really haven't decided what to do..I have been with this girl for over 3 years now and we are engaged. The first couple of months she lied alot and kissed other guys and went on dates I didn't know about under the premise that even though we spent every night together we weren't officially together. We had both just come off of long-term relationships. Then in February we were going through a hard time and she tells some dude she has a crush on him and wanted to spend more time with him and stuff (read this in an email she wrote to a friend of hers). Since we've been together I've put up with a lot of shit..from her going on these secret dates (3 yrs ago) to holding her while she cried bcuz her ex-boyfriend wouldn't talk to her anymore (maybe a year and a half ago) to the shit that happened in february. And with all this piled ontop of each other I just don't know if I can ever trust her, and all we do now is fight bcuz of it...like every day. Now all of a sudden she's "opened her eyes" so she says, and is 100% devoted...but she still texts guys and shit..I know she loves me, I've been away for a week and she balls all the time bcuz she misses me..just sux...and when I get around her its hard for me to break it off for a couple reasons...one she's like super-model hot, and two I hate to see her cry. But neither of us is happy...wtf...anyways just venting..going to take a midol now.

To complicate things even more we just bought a house together with my $18,000 down payment but her name is on the title as well as her grand-dads as a cosigner..jesus christ I'm retarded.

Mate, I just highlighted on bold what I think are the reasons why you should just walk away from this relationship. The ones highlighted in red are where I think you really dropped the ball/weaknesses in your personality she knows you have, which she can use to manipulate you/your feelings towards her.

Never, ever, ever, ever....... let a woman stump on you like that. She will never have or develop true respect for the man you really are.

Once trust is lost, at least that's the way I see things, I can't never trust that person again... ever.

["Maximus"]

One last thing mate, I really advice you to work on your personality and fix the gapping holes before you move on to the next relationship in your life.

[RockyX]

Thanks bro, I assume you are talking about the lack of self-respect I have in myself? I feel dissapointed in myself that I let her run over me like that all the time so I assume that's what your talking about..?? I definately see that as a flaw..I should just grow some balls lol

[Kratos]

She can date other dudes and you'll still be there. Why wouldn't she? Quit being a doormat.

["Maximus"]

Thanks bro, I assume you are talking about the lack of self-respect I have in myself? I feel dissapointed in myself that I let her run over me like that all the time so I assume that's what your talking about..?? I definately see that as a flaw..I should just grow some balls lol

Right! Not necessarily lack of respect for yourself, but the fact that she got away with all that and you never reacted as you should have had, i.e., calling on her unacceptable behavior, standing for yourself, and finally walking away from her.

Also, she knows that you have holes in your personality and she takes advantage of it. Not only growing some balls is going to help you in this situation, but more importantly, is to acknowledge that you have these flaws, be aware of them, and develop a strategy to patch them up and never default back again to that pattern. This will benefit you in the future, greatly.

[RockyX]

Will definately do that, I appreciate the comments guys.

[RuhlFreak55]

She can date other dudes and you'll still be there. Why wouldn't she? Quit being a doormat.

i better never have such an issue

[RockyX]

She can date other dudes and you'll still be there. Why wouldn't she? Quit being a doormat.

I know bro..I just waited too long to justify that...that was like 2.5 years ago so she bitches at me how I should be over that by now. Hell she even says that about February "How can we move on if you keep throwing it in my face?"....would anybody else have a problem just forgiving and forgetting this?????