How do you forgive someone?

[Atomini]

Ok guys, i've come to this point where I need to forgive someone for something really horrible they did to me. Problem is, i've always had trouble with forgiving people. This one person at a certain time I found very easy to forgive, which was rare considering I have problems with forgiveness, until this person did something really horrible to me. This person is a recent ex (yes, that dreaded word).

I actually feel hate for this person and I haven't forgiven her for what she did. That's not right. Truth be told, now that i'm confronted with having to forgive someone for something considerably very horrible that they did, I dont even know what forgiveness even is. I look back at the past at things others have done to me that I forgave and it was really nothing to 'forgive' them. This is different. I want to forgive her but I can't, there's too much hate there. It's like i'm fighting with myself.

I cut her out of my life when she pulled what she did. Then only a couple weeks ago she attempted to contact me again (on MSN) and it didn't go down so well. She said she's sorry but I refused her apology and I threw it back in her face. She also told me that it hurts her to know that I still cant forgive her.... and you know what's fvcked? I felt pleased when I heard that. I felt pleased that she felt hurt. Isn't that wrong? I feel like a monster. Anyways, the conversation ended with her blocking and deleting me. But I don't care about that, because I don't want to talk to her ever again anyhow (then again maybe that's a result of myself not being able to forgive her).

It's not so much that I have to forgive her. It's that I want to but I can't, and now that i'm trying, I realize I don't even know what it's like to forgive someone... I don't even know what forgiveness is. Nobody deserves to be punished forever, and certainly not her. I don't feel content with holding a grudge forever and punishing someone forever.

Has anyone here dealt with something like this before? What does one do? I'm not fighting her here, i'm fighting myself.

[Rugger02]

You're exactly right. It is yourself you're fighting and not her. Realizing that puts u ahead of the game already. Some hurts run too deep to forgive until time takes the edge off the pain. Give it the time necessary and when the time comes you will forgive her. That doesn't mean you'll forget by any means because you never will. But to learn the real meaning of forgiveness I think you have to live it.

[40plusnewbie]

Simple formula for forgiving anyone:

Pray for them.

You won't be able to hold hateful thoughts/feelings for a person at the same time that you are praying for them to find peace, a good life, whatever. I have done this before and have hated certain people more than you will ever know. I don't care if you believe in God or not. If you do this it will work.

Of course a lot of people don't want to let go of their resentments so they will refuse to do this and come up with some rationalization not to.

But the bottom line is holding a resentment against someone is like pissing in your pants down your own leg, or drinking poison.....your the only one that suffers from it. The person you are holding resentments about is off living their life and is not suffering in the least by your negative thoughs/feelings towards them, only you are.

So get on your knees and prey that they find peace and happiness and a full and enriched life full of blessings. It will be impossible for you to resent/hate them while your doing this.

Get to it and stop being a dumbass and stop pissing down your own leg. I did that for years myself before I learned a better way. Can't say I do it all the time nowadays but there was a time in my past when I was fully consumed with hate and resentment. Not anymore bro.

[Rugger02]

Good advise bro

[0tolerance]

excuse me for sounding like a prick with my opening statement(i run a help site and im usually very blunt)

Perhaps its your ego thats getting in the way of things?
also you never really mentioned what she did to you.

I more see it this way, Shes sorry she knows she screwed up and shes trying to be sorry, but at the same time she is angry.Which doesnt help because your even more angry than her and she hasnt shown good reason to be forgiven in your eyes, You have turned all your emotions of hurt and maybe even depression into an anger thats almost unforgiveable.
Also i think youve partly realised that and you feel bad for hating her the way you do.
You have to be able to forgive yourself first and accept that what has been done is done and that as much as youd both like to go back and change whats happened you cant.

Once youve accepted it and forgiven yourself for hating her, then you will be able to feel happier. It may be the road to forgetting about her or the road to once seeing her again.

If you need any other help or questions check out my website http://exasco.info/forum we have some professionals on there, ones a nutritionist/homeopath/naturopath and the others a youth worker who does counseling.

[MuscleScience]

With my personality I cant stay mad at someone for more than 10 or 15 minutes. I am really hard to offend so i do not have to forgive people much. Now on the other hand I often offend people because sometimes the burdon of my quick wit is to fast for my mouth to stop at.......LOL

Jesus said something about forgiving people and you yourself shall be forgiven......More or less.....Or was it buddha that said that.....No, I dont know... it was someone.

In conclusion, I cant really help you, that is what i am rambling about.....lol

[Nicotine]

i forgive no one.

why?

cuz people don't change.

every time i've forgiven someone - they come around and fuk me over worse the next time. people take and take and take. people are selfish.

i dont forgive, i dont forget.

[Ernst]

i forgive no one.

why?

cuz people don't change.

every time i've forgiven someone - they come around and fuk me over worse the next time. people take and take and take. people are selfish.

i dont forgive, i dont forget.

I second that. Well said.

[MuscleScience]

i forgive no one.

why?

cuz people don't change.

every time i've forgiven someone - they come around and fuk me over worse the next time. people take and take and take. people are selfish.

i dont forgive, i dont forget.

You can forgive, you dont have to forget.....

Forgiving doesnt mean your going to allow someone to F U over again.

[FallenWyvern]

With my personality I cant stay mad at someone for more than 10 or 15 minutes. I am really hard to offend so i do not have to forgive people much. Now on the other hand I often offend people because sometimes the burdon of my quick wit is to fast for my mouth to stop at.......LOL

Jesus said something about forgiving people and you yourself shall be forgiven......More or less.....Or was it buddha that said that.....No, I dont know... it was someone.

In conclusion, I cant really help you, that is what i am rambling about.....lol

We must be related.

[Kratos]

I don't know why you feel that it's a flaw that you can't forgive her if what she did was so terrible? What was it? You don't want to talk to her again, I'm guessing you don't want to date her again. What's the problem, it might be better for her not to be forgiven and she can move on and forget about you. Sometimes hot chicks live a life without cosequences becuase they say sorry in such a sweet voice.
Me personally, I can't stay mad at people especially girls. I've let the same people f me over several times and still forgive them for it. That's no fun either. If you forgive her what happens then? She stays in your life, and ex's in your life are rarely a healthy thing.

[Tock]

It's all about how you deal with anger.

You can resolve to forgive, but if you're still angry with them, it won't feel like forgiveness.

Check out some sources on the topic of Anger. Here's what Wikipedia has to say:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anger

[Amorphic]

i forgive no one.

why?

cuz people don't change.

every time i've forgiven someone - they come around and fuk me over worse the next time. people take and take and take. people are selfish.

i dont forgive, i dont forget.

im guilty of this as well. forgiveness has been a very difficult thing for me through my life. ive gotten better but i dont ever truly forgive anyone for hurting me

[Flagg]

i forgive no one.

why?

cuz people don't change.

every time i've forgiven someone - they come around and fuk me over worse the next time. people take and take and take. people are selfish.

i dont forgive, i dont forget.

I don't agree with that, if people can change for the worse they can change for the better, though the latter is harder and often rarer. Funny enough, it's not until someone ****s someone over, see's the carnage they've caused that they start to take responsibility for their actions.

Forgiving someone for something you personally find abhorant is sometimes virtually impossible. And it's bullshit to say "forgive someone but never forget", cause if you cant forget then you really haven't forgiven them either. It's a tragic things, cause some things get broke and can never be fixed again. But no one is perfect either.

Atomini, you have two options.

You either forget about what happened with this chick and make a fresh start of it.

or

You forget her.

[DSM4Life]

You can forgive her for cheating on you but you don't have to be friend afterwards.

[deliverance]

forgiving her is one thing but trusting her is another

[Atomini]

I don't agree with that, if people can change for the worse they can change for the better, though the latter is harder and often rarer. Funny enough, it's not until someone ****s someone over, see's the carnage they've caused that they start to take responsibility for their actions.

Forgiving someone for something you personally find abhorant is sometimes virtually impossible. And it's bullshit to say "forgive someone but never forget", cause if you cant forget then you really haven't forgiven them either. It's a tragic things, cause some things get broke and can never be fixed again. But no one is perfect either.

Atomini, you have two options.

You either forget about what happened with this chick and make a fresh start of it.

or

You forget her.

It's interesting to see both sides of the arguement here on this forum.

I would much rather forget her. I don't stay in contact with exes as it is, and none of my other exes have done anything as bad as what she did.

excuse me for sounding like a prick with my opening statement(i run a help site and im usually very blunt)

Perhaps its your ego thats getting in the way of things?
also you never really mentioned what she did to you.

I more see it this way, Shes sorry she knows she screwed up and shes trying to be sorry, but at the same time she is angry.Which doesnt help because your even more angry than her and she hasnt shown good reason to be forgiven in your eyes, You have turned all your emotions of hurt and maybe even depression into an anger thats almost unforgiveable.
Also i think youve partly realised that and you feel bad for hating her the way you do.
You have to be able to forgive yourself first and accept that what has been done is done and that as much as youd both like to go back and change whats happened you cant.

Once youve accepted it and forgiven yourself for hating her, then you will be able to feel happier. It may be the road to forgetting about her or the road to once seeing her again.

If you need any other help or questions check out my website http://exasco.info/forum we have some professionals on there, ones a nutritionist/homeopath/naturopath and the others a youth worker who does counseling.

Thanks for the advice and you do have the situation down almost 100%. I don't even know if it's my ego, and I don't feel any depression... I just feel anger and resentment towards her and that's it. When she contacted me again, I told her I don't trust her at all, and I hate her. And you're right, I do feel bad about hating her, which is strange. If I hate someone (or a group of people), I usually don't have a problem with it.

I don't know man, the more I think about it, the more I wonder what forgiveness even is. What is it? Does forgiving someone mean not harboring those feelings of anger and resentment towards them? Does it mean forgetting what happened? Does it mean not feeling anything anymore when you think back about what that person did?

[Flagg]

It's interesting to see both sides of the arguement here on this forum.

I would much rather forget her. I don't stay in contact with exes as it is, and none of my other exes have done anything as bad as what she did.



Thanks for the advice and you do have the situation down almost 100%. I don't even know if it's my ego, and I don't feel any depression... I just feel anger and resentment towards her and that's it. When she contacted me again, I told her I don't trust her at all, and I hate her. And you're right, I do feel bad about hating her, which is strange. If I hate someone (or a group of people), I usually don't have a problem with it.

I don't know man, the more I think about it, the more I wonder what forgiveness even is. What is it? Does forgiving someone mean not harboring those feelings of anger and resentment towards them? Does it mean forgetting what happened? Does it mean not feeling anything anymore when you think back about what that person did?

I don't keep in contact with exes either, except for my last one. Infact it's weird because we broke up over something bad that I did, I can't be trusted, etcetera...yet she wants to go on holiday with me next year. She tells me she loves me still, etcetera. People can't have things both ways. I'd take a front seat in Hell for a day if I could change the past, but I can't, but what it's taught me to be is to Be a Man in the future and not repeat stupid mistakes.

When you said none of your previous exes hadn't hurt you like this one did, maybe it's not the girl herself you want to forgive/forget but the "act" you want to forget. Sure people can be forgiven, but some can't. It sounds like whatever she did to you still runs deep inside you and if you're with her you'll be fighting an eternal war with yourself.

Don't torture yourself, man. Do what's best for you.

[Voland]

Ok guys, i've come to this point where I need to forgive someone for something really horrible they did to me. There is never a need to forgive, its an option, so valid as not forgive. Problem is, i've always had trouble with forgiving people. This one person at a certain time I found very easy to forgive, which was rare considering I have problems with forgiveness, until this person did something really horrible to me. No mercy then. This person is a recent ex (yes, that dreaded word).

I actually feel hate for this person and I haven't forgiven her for what she did. That's not right. Not true. Hate is part of life, just as any other feeling. Accept it as you accept love, frustration, guilt, joy... Truth be told, now that i'm confronted with having to forgive someone for something considerably very horrible that they did, I dont even know what forgiveness even is. Its accepting what she did, analysing why she did and re-build trust. I look back at the past at things others have done to me that I forgave and it was really nothing to 'forgive' them. This is different. I want to forgive her but I can't, there's too much hate there. Dude. There is no point in forcing you to forgive if you don't want. Having hate is not wrong, don't buy all that BS the happy hippies and judeocristian religions sell. Every action has a consecuance. She should know it, she's an adult. If she can't deal with that, tough. Its her fault not yours. . It's like i'm fighting with myself.

I cut her out of my life when she pulled what she did. Good. Move on. Then only a couple weeks ago she attempted to contact me again (on MSN) and it didn't go down so well. She said she's sorry but I refused her apology and I threw it back in her face Not wrong. you were justifiedly offended. She also told me that it hurts her to know that I still cant forgive her Playing the victim role is pathetic and manipulative.... and you know what's fvcked? I felt pleased when I heard that. Logically, no one likes hearing victimizations from and ofender when he has been offended. I felt pleased that she felt hurt. Isn't that wrong? NO I feel like a monster. DONT. Anyways, the conversation ended with her blocking and deleting me. So mature...But I don't care about that, because I don't want to talk to her ever again anyhow (then again maybe that's a result of myself not being able to forgive her).
No. ist the result of her being unable no understand that she did a horrible thing and horrible thinks just don't get fixed by saying "im sorry". Cause-conscuence.

It's not so much that I have to forgive her. It's that I want to but I can't, and now that i'm trying, I realize I don't even know what it's like to forgive someone... I don't even know what forgiveness is. Nobody deserves to be punished forever (why? It happens all the time. Its called, life time jail, banned form a forum, etc etc punishment/retaliation is part of life to. its part of growing up.), and certainly not her. I don't feel content with holding a grudge forever and punishing someone forever. those are some conflicting ideas of the progressist society together with judeocristian ideas. Never worked. Learn from the wise, from the oldes.

Has anyone here dealt with something like this before? What does one do? I'm not fighting her here, i'm fighting myself.

I bet everyone. Everyone deals a particular situation in a particular way. Thats just my opinion. I haven't forgiven my father in 14 years and i won't ever do it. For me he doesn' exist. He worked very hard for acheve that miserable goal. Now all he has is my scorn, hate and worst wishes for him. Does that make me an asshole? I don' care. Some things in this life can't never ever be forgiven.

[Flagg]

I bet everyone. Everyone deals a particular situation in a particular way. Thats just my opinion.

Agreed. I've come to learn that EVERYTHING in life is situational. When you hear people say "Oh I would do this in that situation", most the time it's bullshit. Until you are put in a certain situation, there is no way you can say what you'll do or how you'll react to it.

Everything in life is situational.

[NightWolf]

I really dont understand the problem here.. WHY do you have to forgive her
if she did something really terrible to you?

but then again its hard to give the right advice since no one knows
what she did, somethings you can forgive, while other things you just
can NEVER forgive, atleast thats how it is for me.

[NightWolf]

Agreed. I've come to learn that EVERYTHING in life is situational. When you hear people say "Oh I would do this in that situation", most the time it's bullshit. Until you are put in a certain situation, there is no way you can say what you'll do or how you'll react to it.

Everything in life is situational.

100% correct!

[zimmy]

i forgive no one.

why?

cuz people don't change.

every time i've forgiven someone - they come around and fuk me over worse the next time. people take and take and take. people are selfish.

i dont forgive, i dont forget.

EXACTLY...my tattoo says it best...god forgives, i don't

[40plusnewbie]

You can forgive, you dont have to forget.....

Forgiving doesnt mean your going to allow someone to F U over again.

Excellent point bro. There is a saying:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Me.

Forgiving someone is about cleansing your own psyche or whatever you want to call it.

What benefits does having negative hateful thoughts and feelings towards others have? (I'm not saying there are none, my postion is that you can gain the same benefits while also disposing of the negative thoughts and emotions that you carry around inside yourself, which is a better position to be in IMO).

How many minutes/hours a day do you want to be thinking negative thoughs and feeling negative emotions? IMHO zero minutes and zero hours is ideal. Doesn't mean you have to exercise bad judgement and put yourself in situations where you will be harmed emotionally, financially, whatever... or taken advantage of in any way.

[40plusnewbie]

I don't know why you feel that it's a flaw that you can't forgive her if what she did was so terrible? What was it? You don't want to talk to her again, I'm guessing you don't want to date her again. What's the problem, it might be better for her not to be forgiven and she can move on and forget about you. Sometimes hot chicks live a life without cosequences becuase they say sorry in such a sweet voice.
Me personally, I can't stay mad at people especially girls. I've let the same people f me over several times and still forgive them for it. That's no fun either. If you forgive her what happens then? She stays in your life, and ex's in your life are rarely a healthy thing.

But have you ever thought of the possibilty of forgiving her not for her but for yourself. So you don't harbor negative thoughs and emotions?

You can forgive someone in your own mind/heart and still nver have any contact with them for the rest of your life. That way you reduce the negativity inside yourself, which is healthy IMHO.

You don't even have to tell them you forgive them or have any contact with them.

[40plusnewbie]

forgiving her is one thing but trusting her is another

well put.

[redz]

It depends what she did I guess. If she cheated with a friend of yours or something then I wouldn`t bother ever talking to them again. Forgiveness is overrated, I don`t speak to my father or step father and its not for a lack of trying...... You can only forgive people so many times before knowing there is no point.

[Atomini]

I really dont understand the problem here.. WHY do you have to forgive her
if she did something really terrible to you?

but then again its hard to give the right advice since no one knows
what she did, somethings you can forgive, while other things you just
can NEVER forgive, atleast thats how it is for me.

There really is no need to forgive her. I guess I feel I have to because she said sorry (which is really no excuse to forgive someone, just because they say "sorry"). Or because I harbor hateful feelings.

But you know, what voland said is pretty true. Is feeling hate really a bad thing? Now that I think about it, no. Aside from this ex, i've only truly hated someone (actually it was a group of people) once before, and still hate them (this was different however and involved war, when I was serving overseas). I don't feel the draw to forgive them like I do with my ex, but that's probably because I loved her at one time.

Maybe it's best to take the no mercy attitude. Maybe i'm just too warm hearted.

What she did to me involved lying to me about things, and cheating on me and leaving me for someone else, and this all occurred on my birthday too. This might sound like the usual crap that happens all the time, but her cheating on me and around the time it happened ended up completely ruining something I will never ever get again, which I will not talk about. What she ruined is gone for good, and I can't get it back.

[VeraDeMilo]

If you truly do not want her in any part of your life at all, and you don't keep in touch with ex's, then why try to forgive her? She is not asking forgiveness to help you out in any way. She is asking for forgiveness to help her feel better about herself and what she has done.

I feel that if you let her know she has received forgiveness, it allows her to have a "get out of jail free card" in her head and the piece of mind in knowing that, yeah she did something fvcked up to someone, but its all good now, they forgave me.

By not giving her what she is asking for, it will always linger in the back of her head as a terrible chapter in her life that was never closed or resolved. And always keep her in self doubt that she is actually a good person.

Just as what she did to you in your past was a selfish act on her part, this attempt at forgiveness is nothing more than an extension of her selfishness.

[40plusnewbie]

Is feeling hate really a bad thing?

No, feeling hate and anger are normal. They are normal human emotions. But RE-LIVING those hateful feelings only hurts YOU. That is resentment. You carry it with you and it isn't hurting her and isn't changing her. It is changing YOU though. It's putting you in a negative state. It is stressful. Stress harms us.

If resentment is a good thing then how many minutes a day/hours a day do you intend to dwell on this? If it's a good thing shouldn't you consider INCREASING the ammount of time you spend harboring feelings of resentment towards her? Like spend 5 hours a day re-living in your mind the bad stuff she did, feeling miserable every second of those 5 hours. Or maybe all day every day?

Hate/anger is normal. But expressing those emotions in a healthy way to process them and get them out of you is the way to go.

If you wind up holding onto resentiments it only hurts YOU. Do you like hurting yourself?

Easier said than done, I know. But really think about it. Do you want to be spending time dwelling on the negative crap she did to you 5 years from now? Re-living that pain?

Of course the choice is yours. Maybe you do. I did that for years. Didn't help me one bit. Let go of it ASAP IMO.

Hate is normal. Anger is normal. Resentment (the reliving of the hate) is poison to your own soul. For real bro.

[VeraDeMilo]

No, feeling hate and anger are normal. They are normal human emotions. But RE-LIVING those hateful feelings only hurts YOU. That is resentment. You carry it with you and it isn't hurting her and isn't changing her. It is changing YOU though. It's putting you in a negative state. It is stressful. Stress harms us.

If resentment is a good thing then how many minutes a day/hours a day do you intend to dwell on this? If it's a good thing shouldn't you consider INCREASING the ammount of time you spend harboring feelings of resentment towards her? Like spend 5 hours a day re-living in your mind the bad stuff she did, feeling miserable every second of those 5 hours. Or maybe all day every day?

Hate/anger is normal. But expressing those emotions in a healthy way to process them and get them out of you is the way to go.

If you wind up holding onto resentiments it only hurts YOU. Do you like hurting yourself?

Easier said than done, I know. But really think about it. Do you want to be spending time dwelling on the negative crap she did to you 5 years from now? Re-living that pain?

Of course the choice is yours. Maybe you do. I did that for years. Didn't help me one bit. Let go of it ASAP IMO.

Hate is normal. Anger is normal. Resentment (the reliving of the hate) is poison to your own soul. For real bro.

Good Post

[firmechicano831]

sorry about what happend bro. What you have to do it just forget about her like she never excisted in you're life and move on.

[Kratos]

What she did to me involved lying to me about things, and cheating on me and leaving me for someone else, and this all occurred on my birthday too. This might sound like the usual crap that happens all the time, but her cheating on me and around the time it happened ended up completely ruining something I will never ever get again, which I will not talk about. What she ruined is gone for good, and I can't get it back.

She hurt you, she should know that. You should move on and forget her.

[Edgar]

I forgive her by doing her sister 1 her hot mom 2 or her best friend 3. and then she can forgive me. Im so sorry baby.

[wantmoremass]

i think you just have to realize that hating her is only hurting you. put yourself first, and realize that in order to move on and realize what's best for you, you have to let it go. you can forgive someone for what they did if you truly believe their apology is genuine. i believe though you can still forgive someone and not need to see/talk to/relate to them ever again. resentment is hard to lose, but someone told me that if you harbor resentment happiness will dock elsewhere. Wish her the best and forget her - it will end up being better for you in the end.

[40plusnewbie]

I forgive her by doing her sister 1 her hot mom 2 or her best friend 3. and then she can forgive me. Im so sorry baby.

On that note, here's a sweet video about how a pick-up artist handles situations such as this lol:


http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=vCEQ1XXZTyI.

[Atomini]

i think you just have to realize that hating her is only hurting you. put yourself first, and realize that in order to move on and realize what's best for you, you have to let it go. you can forgive someone for what they did if you truly believe their apology is genuine. i believe though you can still forgive someone and not need to see/talk to/relate to them ever again. resentment is hard to lose, but someone told me that if you harbor resentment happiness will dock elsewhere. Wish her the best and forget her - it will end up being better for you in the end.

I think VeraDeMilo summed it up best. She didn't apologise and seek my forgiveness because she really felt sorry about what she did - she was seeking forgiveness because she felt sorry she made herself feel horrible because of what she did.

Look, here's a part of the convo I had with her a couple weeks ago:

-Rachel- says:
k well maybe its better if we dont talk then
-Rachel- says:
like what do you want
Десантник says:
why are you doing this? now you say it's better if we don't talk? don't pull that on me, look at what you're doing
Десантник says:
what do you have to say for yourself? how did YOU originally look at what happened? and how do YOU look at it now? I don't even know this stuff. all I have are what I suspect, and i'm not a mind reader
Десантник says:
and... WHY did you cheat on me?
-Rachel- says:
i dont know
Десантник says:
so then how do you look at what happened?
Десантник says:
and are you saying you made a mistake?
Десантник says:
i'm asking all of this because I don't even know.... I don't know why you did what you did or how you looked at it... or anything...
-Rachel- says:
that i just ****ed up and i didnt consider your feelings.. i was just at a different stage in life and i didnt know what i wanted
Десантник says:
to me it came out of nowhere, like a ****ed up tornado
Десантник says:
so what stage are you at now? what are you doing? whats your purpose here?
-Rachel- says:
i dont know i just want to know you dont hate me
Десантник says:
look, you wanted me to be open and I told you that I won't hold back. I don't know what other word to use for what i'm feeling/have been feeling towards you but yes, it's hate
Десантник says:
how did you think I took what happened?
-Rachel- says:
i dont know
-Rachel- says:
k clearly this was a bad idea
-Rachel- says:
to even start talking again

Her answer was "I don't know" to every question. I think it's just as Vera said, the "get out of jail free" card. To sum it up, I want to forgive her but when I think about what she did, I just burn up with anger and want her to be punished forever. Period.

[zimmy]

dude...that's your typical princess thing... they don't want anyone not to like em. All she feels bad about is that you don't like her....could give a rats behind about anything else

[JiGGaMaN]

I forgive by using higher-quality lime when burying their body.

[Kärnfysikern]

Some things are never forgiven and probably shouldnt be either. But its pointless to go around hating people, if you cant forgive someone just exclude them from your life and forget they exist. Dont waste energy hating them though.