Results 1 to 25 of 25
  1. #1
    Nathan's Avatar
    Nathan is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    2,441

    I actively participate in shoplifting

    Hold on though before you judge. In my defense, some items simply scream "steal me." Take certain protein bars for instance. They know they're damn pricey, plus they strut their stuff knowing how damn good they taste. They're all, "I taste like a chocolate bar but I'm all good for you and shit....oh so good for you. Now steal me dammit and maybe buy some porn while you're at it." So, I tend to comply in those situations.
    Furthermore, certain cashiers send direct signals to the consumers indicating that now is the time for some good, old-fashioned shoplifting. For example, I went to my local pharmacy yesterday to buy some syringes. Well, I asked for 80 but the guy said he only had 68. Suspicious? Hidden meaning? I think so. As if that wasn't enough, he went and totally undercharged me by like half the price for those 68 pins. At that point I knew he was trying to convey a message to me. He was obviously trying to say, "Hey buddy. Steal some of those vitamins down there. They're good for you so you won't be hurting anyone by just taking them. Also, I like your pants." I took the vitamins and thanked him for complimenting my wardrobe. I thought it was a great touch when he pretended like he didn't know what I was talking about.
    Anyways, shoplifting is a victimless crime. Only the store-owner loses out and thus everyone who counts is left happy and content. I think I'm gonna go steal me a puppy.

  2. #2
    palme's Avatar
    palme is offline Rosie Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Sweden
    Posts
    6,589
    "buy porn" ?????

    Dude INTERNET *hint*

  3. #3
    nuke is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    677
    Nathan welcome back .I MISS YOUR PROSE ! LOL

  4. #4
    Totenkopf is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Your Girls House
    Posts
    268
    Dude your all F__ed up on goofballs :}
    I always enjoy your posts
    Now im wondering whats wrong with me

  5. #5
    BMANN's Avatar
    BMANN is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    223
    WTF?

  6. #6
    chicamahomico's Avatar
    chicamahomico is offline Respected Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Hoss's Moms bedroom
    Posts
    2,769
    At first I thought this might be a true story. Then you said he liked your pants.

  7. #7
    EXCESS's Avatar
    EXCESS is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    CANADA
    Posts
    4,449
    When did you start wearing pants?

  8. #8
    Cycleon is offline AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Wherever necessary
    Posts
    7,846
    Im rather surprised Nathan didnt bend over and ask the pharmacist to give him an "injection" - no doubt that was the signal he was sending

  9. #9
    tatty's Avatar
    tatty is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    612

  10. #10
    m16a2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    1,523
    you and winona would hit it off!

  11. #11
    Nathan's Avatar
    Nathan is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    2,441
    Originally posted by CYCLEON
    Im rather surprised Nathan didnt bend over and ask the pharmacist to give him an "injection" - no doubt that was the signal he was sending
    Jackass. Go fuck yourself.

    The story is actually true, except the whole pants thing. Sometimes theft just seems like a good idea, and when i get away with it it seems like a way better idea. I know, I'm a bad person. I don't steal big things though and I only steal from places that rip you off.
    Here's another tip if you don't want to outright steal: switch the price tags on things. It totally works so long as you don't get too greedy.

  12. #12
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
    ripped4fsu is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    2,228

    Re: I actively participate in shoplifting

    Originally posted by Nathan
    Hold on though before you judge. In my defense, some items simply scream "steal me." Take certain protein bars for instance. They know they're damn pricey, plus they strut their stuff knowing how damn good they taste. They're all, "I taste like a chocolate bar but I'm all good for you and shit....oh so good for you. Now steal me dammit and maybe buy some porn while you're at it." .
    I'm still trying to figure out what kinda place sells Protein bars AND Porno.
    must be one of those new "Progressive" Gyms I keep hearing about

  13. #13
    symatech's Avatar
    symatech is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    not where I want to be
    Posts
    6,696

    Talking Re: I actively participate in shoplifting

    Originally posted by Nathan
    I thought it was a great touch when he pretended like he didn't know what I was talking about.
    This is great!

  14. #14
    woodsy169's Avatar
    woodsy169 is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    273
    Originally posted by Nathan

    Here's another tip if you don't want to outright steal: switch the price tags on things. It totally works so long as you don't get too greedy.
    Yeah, I tried this at a car dealership. I switched the price tag on one of the new H2 Hummers with one off of a low end Honda Civic. When I told the salesman that I would take it without even going on a test drive, he seemed a little suspicious of me. Guess I got to greedy Funny thing is he told me he liked my pants also...

  15. #15
    Nathan's Avatar
    Nathan is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    2,441
    Originally posted by woodsy169


    Yeah, I tried this at a car dealership. I switched the price tag on one of the new H2 Hummers with one off of a low end Honda Civic. When I told the salesman that I would take it without even going on a test drive, he seemed a little suspicious of me. Guess I got to greedy Funny thing is he told me he liked my pants also...
    That is way too greedy. What you should have done is switched the price tags of a hummer with all the extras for just a regular hummer with nothing on it so to speak.

  16. #16
    Warrior's Avatar
    Warrior is offline AR-Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    6'0"/248lbs
    Posts
    6,982
    This is retarded. Join the economy or get the fuck out. Ever tried to start a business before and have someone rip you off? The penny pinching is pretty lame unless you are like 15 and still getting an allowance from Mom - even then, if you stole from my business I would ship you to the Middle East in an overnight UPS stamp to do what you seem to think is right - over there. (I have been a victim a few times and in my neck of the woods getting your car broken into seems to be a norm)

    Having someone rip me off would be worth it - as long as I caught the little fucker doing it...

    No seriously... I am smiling.
    Last edited by Warrior; 11-14-2002 at 01:26 PM.

  17. #17
    MIKE_XXL's Avatar
    MIKE_XXL is offline SCAMMER
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,335
    LMFAO.........

  18. #18
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    5,136

    damnit

    i was almost sure i had abused enough drugs in my short lifetime.now i know i have not done enough!!!Nathan is my hero and i will make certain that my serotonin level is completely drained this weekend to kurt cobain levels so that my mind may revert back to it's previously demolished state.nathan to live!!!!!!!

  19. #19
    iron4life79's Avatar
    iron4life79 is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    the vast wasteland
    Posts
    3,790

    Re: damnit

    Originally posted by partyboynyc
    i was almost sure i had abused enough drugs in my short lifetime.now i know i have not done enough!!!Nathan is my hero and i will make certain that my serotonin level is completely drained this weekend to kurt cobain levels so that my mind may revert back to it's previously demolished state.nathan to live!!!!!!!

    after reading all thats posted here, i think ive done too many drugs in my lifetime, as all this is starting to make perfect sense.....


    peace bb79

  20. #20
    sicilian40's Avatar
    sicilian40 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    250
    Nathan bro you are one funny fuck...LMAO!!!!

  21. #21
    Nathan's Avatar
    Nathan is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    2,441
    Originally posted by Warrior
    This is retarded. Join the economy or get the fuck out. Ever tried to start a business before and have someone rip you off? The penny pinching is pretty lame unless you are like 15 and still getting an allowance from Mom - even then, if you stole from my business I would ship you to the Middle East in an overnight UPS stamp to do what you seem to think is right - over there. (I have been a victim a few times and in my neck of the woods getting your car broken into seems to be a norm)

    Having someone rip me off would be worth it - as long as I caught the little fucker doing it...

    No seriously... I am smiling.
    Oh I agree wholeheartedly. If you catch the guy i think the shop owner should be allowed to do anything he wants to the culprit in question. If he wants to slice the guy's scrotum up a little with a razor blade and then force him into an iodine-filled bathtub, then I think that should be legal. I mean, it's just common sense.

  22. #22
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
    ripped4fsu is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    2,228
    agreed, I wish I had nabbed the little cock-sucker that broke into my truck... I would have ripped off both his thumbs and shoved 'em up his ass...

  23. #23
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    5,136

    ripped4fsu??

    OMG!!!i'm so sorry!! i was just looking for spare change to get my crack fix on!!please send me a bill for the damages!!!!

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,506
    Winona Ryder reminds you all, only 30 days of shoplifting left until Xmas!

    Red

  25. #25
    ripped4fsu's Avatar
    ripped4fsu is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    2,228
    Partyboy,, if I'd known it was you I would have GIVEN you the keys and my AMEX card!! I live vicariously thru you bro, so I won't be the one to slow your party down!!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •