The girlfriend left....

[Bryan2]

So Ive been all jacked up as of late due to the women issues.

Main thing here is me and the lady have been going through some issues and although I thought they werent major, apparantly to her they were enough to leave. On NEW YEARS EVE NONE THE LESS!!!

anyway I still love the girl but im kinda having a tough time with one aspect of it all

In all reality we will probably not be together again but,






.........Do I keep her in my life as a freind even though im always gonna want her and never be able to have her?

Or do I cut her out forever and never talk to her again so I can move on?






Its a tough breakup for me and any advice anyone wants to give helps especially if youve been in the same boat as me at one point in time

what is the right thing and easiest to do fellas? cuz this is some really hard shit for me to deal with

[gst528i]

For me its always complete cutoff. Also whats the reason behind the break up.

On a side not whats the deal with women leaving newyears eve. I think your the third guy on this forum.
And like 5th or 6th for december

[l2elapse]

i agree with gst, what was the reason for the break up

[higherdesire]

Cold turkey bro. After you have reestablished your life without her if you see her then maybe a friendship is possible, but right now it will only be a slow death for you.

[Maverick_J8]

For me its always complete cutoff

Its the only way. Change your number. Delete emails. Everything.

I have just recently gone through the same thing, and trust me, it will work for you. As the cheesey cliche goes - time is a healer.

110% on the button. 3 month ago i would of laughed.

[bodybuilder1107]

i would cut it off i tries to be friends and it gets ugly fast you atart to ask her friends about her and look like an idiot you wonder who she's with and dont check her myspace they always put stupid pics and songs on there to burn you up, just let it go it will always hurt i still feel rage when she is mentioned but so what time makes it better

[binder]

that sucks totally. I have learned that you at least need a complete cutoff for quite a while before you could ever talk to her on a normal level.

With my ex of 4 years it was a battle. She cheated on me when i was deployed and then we tried to be friends but it was this f-ed up situation where we dated then didn't date and she dated others and it tore me up. for 2 years afterwards i was a mess and couldn't get over her.

Now on the other hand, my most recent breakup we cut it off completely and i didn't even talk to her for the better part of a year. Now i can see her and it's no big deal because I KNOW that it's done and over with. With the other girl it just lingered and ruined 2 years of my life.

life sucks and nobody can promise that the pain will go away. Let yourself feel sad at times then push on with your daily routine. Everyone finds a way to deal with it. Having the ex around almost always makes it harder to get over them.

[BG]

Makes it twice as hard to move on if your still in contact, there will always be that glimer off hope. I find being mad at her helps me stay away, she fuc'n left you New Years eve, right after Christmas, fuc that. Hopefully you can come across a woman soon that understands you situation and you can get sex soon, that helps so much. That seems to be a big moving foward point, sleeping with somebody else.

[xo3et]

End it man, stay away at all costs even if it means going to a different bar etc etc. she obviousley wants it finished so keep it that way.

On the bright side you have a new year for serious training and some serious ***** pounding

Get a grip and forget her man, time will heal the wounds.

good luck

[bulldawg_28]

Hey bryan, been there and done that. Your best bet is to cut off all ties, and move on. Maybe eventually you two can begin talking and be friends, but just from personal experience it doesn't work.

The best thing you can do is use this experience as motivation in the weight room. Maybe begin setting up another cycle for summer? Keep yourself busy so you don't think about her. Good luck man.

[mike954]

dude im going through the same shit look herelost my girl and having a hard time getting motivated!

[EghtySx]

A sharp knife cuts the quickest and hurts the least

[Bryan2]

Thanks guys

Me and her came to be in a very f**ked up way
She had a boyfriend and another guy she was messing with and probably someone else that she never told me about


Anyway before I ever did anything with her I told her to stop it all and waited for her.

She dropped all of the other guys and gave herself to me. So there was always that whole deal in the back of my head

I know it was both of our faults and I never should of put myself in that position in the first place but it did happen

Long story short the jealousy (on my part would show itself here and there) mainly when she would text other guys from work and what not, I knew she would never do anything to me ever as I had made it a point to tell her this from the get go.

But I felt like me saying things before they happened expressed myself and showed possition that I am here and I am all you would ever need, Kind of a pre emptive thing to stop anything before it ever happened.

She was the type of girl to NEVER EVER talk about things, So all of the little things ended up turning into big things and ate away at her enough to leave

At least this is the main reasoning she gave me for up and leaving. Even though she had never once told me it was this serious.

It hurts yeah and im still struggling to accept it

Im still crazy torn between keeping her in my life or just dropping her forever to make it easier to deal with......

So It really helps to hear from everyone I can ask possible

Every bit of advice anyone wants to give trust me i will read it I got nothing but time


And trust me here I have a new found interest in spending time in the gym, that is for sure( long story as ive been out of the gym for some time now) But all in all I guess a good thing as I needed something to tip me in the right direction.

[J-Dogg]

You had concerns with her texting guys at work, and that's normal for a guy. Take into consideration how you 2 got together, and it's even more typical to have some insecurity about that.

I for one, don't think you can "depend" on love alone, you have to put some work into relationships.

Don't chase her, don't answer her calls, don't read her emails. It's done, move on with your life.

When you are over her, She will probably want you back. At that point, when you are comfortable with out her, you can look back and see if that's what you really want.

Right now, from reading your post, I can tell you would cut off your pinky finger to have her back. When the emotion is gone, you may feel you don't want to be in that type of a relationship though.

Give it time, don't go running back.

[Dobie-BOY]

Yep, there is no painless way through it, BUT you should at all costs save your pride. You will thank yourself IMMENSELY later. Here is my advice in this situation; SMILE!! Around everyone. Especially her. If you talk to her on the phone have something going on at the same time and let her hear your smile. Sound happy. Of course there are times and a FEW people you want to really talk about how you really feel. This SMILE technique serves many purposes. 1) Ever hear "fake it till you make it"? It helps in these kinda situations 2)If there is ANY chance at all of getting her back it will be much more likely if she see's that you are ok without her. If she see's that you are all fuked up over it it will only reaffirm her decision to leave. Women want a man who doesn't NEED them. 3)It makes you much more approachable to other women and that is the ultimate redemption from seperation pain. NEW PUUSSY!! 4) It saves face, pride and respect. You will thank yourself later for this, BIG TIME.
Really focus on work, working out Etc... Positive activities. Make progress in other areas of your life.
I have been there bro. good luck

[J-Dogg]

Yep, there is no painless way through it, BUT you should at all costs save your pride. You will thank yourself IMMENSELY later. Here is my advice in this situation; SMILE!! Around everyone. Especially her. If you talk to her on the phone have something going on at the same time and let her hear your smile. Sound happy. Of course there are times and a FEW people you want to really talk about how you really feel. This SMILE technique serves many purposes. 1) Ever hear "fake it till you make it"? It helps in these kinda situations 2)If there is ANY chance at all of getting her back it will be much more likely if she see's that you are ok without her. If she see's that you are all fuked up over it it will only reaffirm her decision to leave. Women want a man who doesn't NEED them. 3)It makes you much more approachable to other women and that is the ultimate redemption from seperation pain. NEW PUUSSY!! 4) It saves face, pride and respect. You will thank yourself later for this, BIG TIME.
Really focus on work, working out Etc... Positive activities. Make progress in other areas of your life.
I have been there bro. good luck

In the time I posted my post above yours, and you posted this post. My ex already called me crying wanting to work things out.

the problem is, do you take them back when they want to come back or not. Especially knowing the only reason they want to come back is because they see you can be happy with out them. Just don't seem like a healthy "restart" to a relationship.

[youngNhungry]

Cut all ties bro. It hurts to bad to have em around or know that their with someone else. Time and seperation are the two factors that lead to healing. Sorry to hear about it. It sucks.

[briancb1]

You should move on... and don't jump into another relationship for a while, none of this rebound crap because when that doesn't work out you will most likely think about your ex even more!

Wait untill your really happy living the single life. I find that people who "want to find a girl to be with" end up having the worst relationships. People who "live a goal orientied life" and stay with a girl if it doesn't get in their way, tend to have the best relationships.

On another note, chill the f@#$ out with the jealousy.

Of course she is gonna text other people, other people are going to text and flirt with her... gonna be that way as long as she looks good in the sac. By being jealous you're just making yourself look less attractive and the other guys more appealing. I'm the least jealous guy on the planet and it really bugs girls that I don't care if they hang out with some other guys on friday night... makes them want you even more that you don't like them as much.

You probably should care less as harsh as it sounds. Your emotional side really screws with you, you have to use more logic next time around - your brain will steer you in a better direction than your heart at this age.

[KatsMeow]

I've had the same thing happen to me, and he wanted to be friends, but after a while I realized that he didn't deserve to be in my life as a partner or as a friend. You lose trust and respect for people who hurt you, and those are things that you can't get back. It's better to just learn from it and try to occupy your mind with someone or something else.

Some people say you should wait to date, but I have found it much easier to get over if I'm out dating, and you begin to realize how many people there are in this world that will love you for who you are. Staying at home and thinking about what could have been will only make you sad and depressed. I believe that everything happens for a reason and heartbreak is one of life's lessons.

Good luck to you, and keep your chin up.

[J-Dogg]

I've had the same thing happen to me, and he wanted to be friends, but after a while I realized that he didn't deserve to be in my life as a partner or as a friend. You lose trust and respect for people who hurt you, and those are things that you can't get back. It's better to just learn from it and try to occupy your mind with someone or something else.

Some people say you should wait to date, but I have found it much easier to get over if I'm out dating, and you begin to realize how many people there are in this world that will love you for who you are. Staying at home and thinking about what could have been will only make you sad and depressed. I believe that everything happens for a reason and heartbreak is one of life's lessons.

Good luck to you, and keep your chin up.

I agree on the "wait to date" thing.

Why wait? Do you owe it to the person who left you.....not to see other people?

I think most people say that, because it does hurt to see your ex with someone else, or know about it. But they hurt you by leaving in the first place. Their feelings should not take consideration over yours.

I don't think anyone really LIKES to be alone. It's nice to have someone that cares about you. People offten look at the desire to have someone there, is a weakness but it's normal.

[higherdesire]

For me it is about the trust. Not the trust that your partner won;t steal from you or cheat you out of money or somehting like that. But the trust that your safe opening your life to them without fear of being mocked or judged or abused. We don;t get to know people and invest our time and compassion in them with the expectation that they won't return the same. I am not sure if that is sounding right or not but brother if she doesn't and hasn't got that trustworthisness, and it sounds like she doesn;t, then you are putting yourself in position to feel what youre feeling now again unequivcally. Get out and stay out is my advise. We all deserve true intimacy with our mates and that WILL NOT come without trust.

[xavier_888888]

Look at the bright side bro! you'll have more ass than a toilet seat. Lykis 101

[Amorphic]

A sharp knife cuts the quickest and hurts the least

agreed. dont drag it out

[novastepp]

If you're going to end up being friends, it will happen years later and further down the road. For now, do anything/everything necessary to keep her off your mind. Occupy yourself and get out there and talk to people. Be assertive in your social networks and keep yourself busy.

[ab037]

Cut her off bro. best thing for you! You need doc loves SYSTEM. Check it out.

[scibble]

it's normal to be really reluctant to send her off for good, and it will keep dogging you until you go crazy, which is why you have to just DO it. at first you'll feel like you dont want to get rid of the pictures (for "memory's sake") and so on, but if you just do it fast and dont look back you'll be much happier in a much quicker time frame.

[BG]

Sounds like your better off buddy, I would be my own worst enemy knowing all the BS before we dated, it would drive me mad.

[spywizard]

clean break... reject me reject all that comes with it..

sorry..

and congrats..

[KatsMeow]

only allow people in your life that can prove they deserve to be in it..

[gst528i]

Holy fucing cow. A thread where all memebers agree with each other......epic !!!!!!

[Dobie-BOY]

What I always try to remember when making a decision like this is, "no matter what I choose to do, I will be ok".

[warchild]

man what the hell is going on with women and them leaving us this week? maybe we are the f'd up....

[stocky121]

For me its always complete cutoff. Also whats the reason behind the break up.

On a side not whats the deal with women leaving newyears eve. I think your the third guy on this forum.
And like 5th or 6th for december

make that the 7th for december except mine was more a mutal thing