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Thread: The Official ask "Santa CLaus" thread

  1. 01-10-2009, 01:31 AM #1
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    The Official ask "Santa CLaus" thread

    If we can ask Muhammad questions through a member than we should be able to ask Santa questions through a member.
    If we can ask a Jewish person questions then ABSOLUTELY we should be able to ask Santa Questions.

    So any question you have for Santa just ask me and I will answer. I will call up Santa and ask him "yo, whats the deal"? I will report back asap to let you know. - Bo
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  2. 01-10-2009, 03:39 AM #2
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    What is a cottonheaded ninny muggins?
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  3. 01-10-2009, 04:04 AM #3
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    I protest the name of this thread: it says "official", when it should read "unofficial."
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  4. 01-10-2009, 06:06 AM #4
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  5. 01-10-2009, 11:40 AM #5
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    How do real cowboys get in shape like that if they are out riding around and herding cattle all day long?
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  6. 01-10-2009, 11:42 AM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by DSM4Life View Post
    holy f-ing shit dude
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  7. 01-10-2009, 11:47 AM #7
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    is santa black or white? Cause this African American family that lives near me decorates their house way overdone. They put all these santa's on and elfs and stuff on their lawn that are plastic and light up. I can't remember if the do everything this way, but I do remember they paint santa's face black. Idk, I always think of Santa as a white dude, but I could be wrong.
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  8. 01-10-2009, 01:38 PM #8
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    why does Santa call everyone Ho's? Is it an adult joke or something?
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  9. 01-10-2009, 01:52 PM #9
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    why does santa love kids sitting on his lap so much?
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  10. 01-10-2009, 02:20 PM #10
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    Santa, Stepp here, uhh regarding that rum and coke issue...couldn't be more confused.
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  11. 01-10-2009, 10:00 PM #11
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    Have I been naughty or nice?
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  12. 01-10-2009, 10:24 PM #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegodfather View Post
    What is a cottonheaded ninny muggins?
    Santa says he doesn't know but it sounds racist.
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  13. 01-10-2009, 10:26 PM #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by daem View Post
    How do real cowboys get in shape like that if they are out riding around and herding cattle all day long?
    The only time cowboys get in shape is for very special movies that only adults are allowed to watch.
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  14. 01-10-2009, 10:29 PM #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kratos View Post
    is santa black or white? Cause this African American family that lives near me decorates their house way overdone. They put all these santa's on and elfs and stuff on their lawn that are plastic and light up. I can't remember if the do everything this way, but I do remember they paint santa's face black. Idk, I always think of Santa as a white dude, but I could be wrong.
    I have seen Santa, and can I can tell you 100%, genuinely and honestly, just like Tiger Woods, Santa is white.
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  15. 01-10-2009, 10:31 PM #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by higherdesire View Post
    why does Santa call everyone Ho's? Is it an adult joke or something?
    Tell yo mother "one person" is NOT "everyone".

    ahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa









    disclaimer: your participation in this thread endorses your own permission for being publically ridiculed.
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  16. 01-10-2009, 10:32 PM #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bojangles69 View Post
    If we can ask Muhammad questions through a member than we should be able to ask Santa questions through a member.
    If we can ask a Jewish person questions then ABSOLUTELY we should be able to ask Santa Questions.

    So any question you have for Santa just ask me and I will answer. I will call up Santa and ask him "yo, whats the deal"? I will report back asap to let you know. - Bo
    have you ever given a jew or a muslim a x-mass present?

    who leaves the best cookies?

    is it true that you are trying to take the place of Jesus and are inspired of satan?
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  17. 01-10-2009, 10:33 PM #17
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    Santa is it true that you were recently caught having sex with Rudolph ?
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  18. 01-10-2009, 10:34 PM #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by uk lad View Post
    why does santa love kids sitting on his lap so much?
    Because Strippers would be too obvious.
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  19. 01-10-2009, 10:42 PM #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by amcon View Post
    have you ever given a jew or a muslim a x-mass present?

    who leaves the best cookies?

    is it true that you are trying to take the place of Jesus and are inspired of satan?
    No, because Santa knows Jews don't leave cookies (something about them being cheap he says) and muslims pray too much that they don't have time to bake
    Last edited by Bojangles69; 01-10-2009 at 10:44 PM.
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  20. 01-10-2009, 10:42 PM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bojangles69 View Post
    Tell yo mother "one person" is NOT "everyone".

    ahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa









    disclaimer: your participation in this thread endorses your own permission for being publically ridiculed.



    (hehehe) this is going to be a good thread
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  21. 01-10-2009, 10:43 PM #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by BuffedGuy View Post
    I protest the name of this thread: it says "official", when it should read "unofficial."
    My apologies, Santa says its too late to worry about now.
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  22. 01-10-2009, 10:47 PM #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by novastepp View Post
    Santa, Stepp here, uhh regarding that rum and coke issue...couldn't be more confused.
    Santa Said hes sorry, your Christmas tree had it coming with all those pink lights.
    Next year he will stand it back up for you... and not leave a video tape of him humping your christmas tree... on your new camera.
    Last edited by Bojangles69; 01-10-2009 at 10:49 PM.
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  23. 01-10-2009, 10:51 PM #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kale View Post
    Santa is it true that you were recently caught having sex with Rudolph ?
    I promise I did not engage in sexual relations with that reindeer.




    Going to put the m/fkr down as we speak.
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  24. 01-11-2009, 08:19 AM #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bojangles69 View Post
    Because Strippers would be too obvious.
    haha
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  25. 01-11-2009, 08:29 AM #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kratos View Post
    Idk, I always think of Santa as a white dude, but I could be wrong.
    That's cuz you been readin' them white man's books. So he got you gettin' gifts from a blue-eyed blond-bearded devil.
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  26. 01-11-2009, 04:28 PM #26
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    Yeh and cuz you be readin dem towelhead flip-flip wearing man's books. You be gettin dem morter giftesis from a brown-eyed dark-bearded devil.

    JK bro don't get all Jihad on me.
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  27. 01-11-2009, 04:34 PM #27
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    Can Santa give me a new body....
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  28. 01-11-2009, 04:39 PM #28
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    Wheres my fvkin xmas presents for the last 10 years you fat white haired bastard..
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  29. 01-11-2009, 05:31 PM #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by MAD MATT View Post
    Wheres my fvkin xmas presents for the last 10 years you fat white haired bastard..
    Maybe you have been a bad boy....
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  30. 01-11-2009, 05:34 PM #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by prone2rage View Post
    Maybe you have been a bad boy....
    Thats not what my probation officer said..
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  31. 01-11-2009, 06:33 PM #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bojangles69 View Post
    Tell yo mother "one person" is NOT "everyone".

    ahhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa









    disclaimer: your participation in this thread endorses your own permission for being publically ridiculed.
    Very Nice my friend! But you know I don;t have a momma...me and my daddy share yours!
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  32. 01-11-2009, 06:44 PM #32
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    So no answer to the rum and coke issue? Thanks for clearing up the beastiality and tree-hugging rumors though. I do love the camera.
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  33. 01-11-2009, 06:55 PM #33
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    Where's the insurance check to pay for my grandmas funeral after she was run over by one of your reindeer?
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  34. 01-11-2009, 06:58 PM #34
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    Does Santa approve of this Christmas song????

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM6MD...eature=related
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  35. 01-11-2009, 07:11 PM #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by MAD MATT View Post
    Thats not what my probation officer said..
    Good one.....then maybe you will get off on good behavior...
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  36. 01-12-2009, 12:51 AM #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by MAD MATT View Post
    Wheres my fvkin xmas presents for the last 10 years you fat white haired bastard..
    I apologize, my elves will be on it soon, Tony Montana style.
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  37. 01-12-2009, 12:54 AM #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by higherdesire View Post
    Very Nice my friend! But you know I don;t have a momma...me and my daddy share yours!
    Oh I get it, so you have like 2 daddies? Thats cool. Do they share you too?
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  38. 01-12-2009, 01:00 AM #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jfew44 View Post
    Where's the insurance check to pay for my grandmas funeral after she was run over by one of your reindeer?
    Rudolph went on a 10week crystal meth binge and wound up spending it, then on his way to rehab he got raped in the ass by a squirrel. Very sad Im sorry.
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  39. 01-12-2009, 01:00 AM #39
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  40. 01-12-2009, 01:05 AM #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by HORSE View Post
    Does Santa approve of this Christmas song????

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM6MD...eature=related
    No he doesn't, he says it brings back bad memories of Mrs Claus, a strap on, and him not sitting down for 2 weeks... really wouldn't go into detail about it though.
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