Cutting Off Family Members.....

[MR PHATT ASS]

anyone ever have to cut off a family member, write them off, disown them....this is gonna be an interesting thanksgiving this yr in my family..... my female cousin got married in oct..she didnt invite my father(parents are divorced but they are civil with eachother for the most part).. my sister always helped out my female cousin in diff ways..my female cousin decided for who knows why to invite my father to the wedding but not the reception....WTF....now granted my parents have been divorced for 11 yrs now but all during the late 70's and 80's but he was always around previous family gatherings.and certain family gatherings after the divorce...my female cousin went around asking my other cousins how would they feel if my father was not at the reception...basically all my other cousins said "you gotta invite our uncle" (my father)..she didnt...the 1st thing she told me was she cant afford to feed everyone, so me and my sis offered to pay for my dads dinner (i know that sounds lame but)..family members even came in from out of town that she hadnt seen in a while...then there was excuse after excuse. my sis and i almost pulled out of the wedding..but to try and keep things sorta smooth in the family we opted to still be in her wedding..during all that time this caused alot of heat in the family esp between my sis and female cousin.my cousin said alot of bad things to my sis but then apologized after.that happened 3x-ya know.one of those deals...there was no reason why my father shouldnt have been to that wedding....1 poss important note here :my bother, sis and I are the only ones in the family that have both parents still alive: my female cousins father killed himself back in the mid 90's after he got on drugs and lost his job and family, etc..now that the wedding is come and gone, my female cousin now sorta harrasses my sister with books and tapes on how to be a better woman and a parent..my sis been happily married for 16+yrs. they have 2 great kids and a very nice $$$ home. my cousin is young and the type who knows the words to the bible but really doesnt know the meaning to to the words and calls herself religious...i guess my quest is would you cut her off or what???..i think im gonna distance myself from her..my dad is getting old that wedding was a good chance for him to see everyone again.there was no reason why my dad shouldnt have been there..the more i think about it it pisses me off.....WHAT TO DO????.with thanksgiving right around the corner its gonna be interesting to see how everyone reacts to my female cousin...stay tuned...

[palme]

Sounds like she thinks shes something just cause shes married now, and trying to teach your sister how to be a good wife and handle her kids makes me angry. I mean who does she think she is?

Maybe you your sister and brother should spend the holiday together with your father and any other family members that want to join you. No offence but your cousin dosnt soundlike the kind of person id like to be around. Id drop her.

[Big Rush]

Thats fucked bro. Did you and your sis personally sit down with her and specifically ask her what issues she has with your dad? Seems like there is more to it.

[tigress]

Here is a twist- people who tell other people how to run their weddings irritates me. I mean, it's her wedding, and she can do what she wants. It's not up to you and your sis to tell her who to invite.

[tatty]

tigress is right. If she's funding the whole thing and it is HER wedding, she has the right to invite who and who not, even if they WANTED to pay for themselves.

Now the difficult part to understand is why she wouldn't invite your father? Mayber there is something deeper that she doesn't want to divulge? Or maybe I just didn't read correctly...lol...

[seniormateus]

It is her wedding but sometimes you have to cut people off in order for them to hear the echo of your point and then it might register. I cut people off easily and let them in my life again easily unless they really try to fuck me. She means well but dosn't seem to listen to you and that sucks! You could always make your point loud and clear and then not talk to her for a while and time helps people see the error in their stubborn ways sometimes. Good luck!

[MR PHATT ASS]

....hey palme.no offense taken at all..this whole thing was very uncharactaristic like of her..shes actually the one who tries and have certain family gatherings on non-holidays..and tigress thats the 1st thing i told her was its her wedding so she can invite who she wants but it would feel so uncomfortable with out my dad there. and its just so strange for her to ask my sister for help for her wedding, this and that and not consider our feelings for not inviting my dad..i mean dont come to us face to face, ask us to miss a day off of work, take time out of our schedule to help her and not take in the consideration that my dad is still apart of the family... hell my sister even actually let my female cousin and her now husband use her house when my sister wasnt home for a week or so...shit--my sister doesnt even let ME use her house..and like i said before my cousin is now sorta harrassing my sister with books and tapes on how to be a better parent and woman..the only thing i can make of all this is my bro, and sis are the only ones in the family that have both parents still alive...her dad killed himself!!!

[seniormateus]

If it were me, I'd stick with my dad. If he wasn't invited then I'd boycott. That's just me and this is unfortunate because your family has been through alot and they all mean well. My family is kinda the same way and it stresses me out!