I don't think I like this girl anymore

**J-Dogg** · 03-01-2009, 10:10 AM

Nice girl, cute, smart, has her life together. She really is career orineted, the state is paying for her to go get her masters in the fall. Nice organized and can take care of herself.

When I first met her, and started seeing her, she had everything that I was looking for. On paper, she fit what was good for me.

I think what is pushing me away though, is she is a stage 5 clinger.

She keeps mentioning things like "you better not hurt me". This was after seeing her for about a week. I honestly did not even consider her my girl friend yet even.

Last night her dad turned 60. He family is wonderful, nice people. Her brother in law is a cop on the SCENT team and on the SWAT force, he's an alright guy but she tries to use that he's a police officer to almost intimidate me. She says to me, "Ya he HATES my ex, wants to murder him cause he hurt me". Her friends kind of do the same shit to me. Her friend just met me last night and as she was introduced to me says "Oh I have to tell you something but not here" almost in a threating voice.

It all stems cause I have an ex that is still interested in me and it makes this girl insecure. My ex actually attacked another ex of mine and the new GF brought that up, and kinda just said "oh if she tries that I'll" and I cut her off, just said enough, I'm not impressed by girls trying to beat each other up. I just got up and walked away and conversed with her uncle.

Of her friends, because of this, I only really like 1 of them. I am going to have to talk to her tonight about this because I am really kind of bothered by it. If her, her brother in law, her friends think I will obey from intimidation, they have the wrong guy, it's just pushing me away. If i do the right thing, it's cause I want too, if I do the wrong thing, it's cause I want too. And honestly, being pushed away makes me want to do the wrong thing and not care.

I just hate a 110lb girl being introduced to me and almost "warning" me. If a little girl wants to yell at me, I don't care. Just typing this makes me want to just call and yell, but I'll just go work legs today and talk about it tonight. Either that or just call it quits, cause i don't know if I like the girls she hangs around.

***T-MOS*** · 03-01-2009, 10:14 AM

**QuieTSToRM33** · 03-01-2009, 10:28 AM

Another girl thread from J-dogg ... what a surprise.

**RuhlFreak55** · 03-01-2009, 10:36 AM

how many girl threads does he have?

I like clingers

**Matt** · 03-01-2009, 10:39 AM

You need to be seen getting a bj off another woman, that will let them know who's boss...

**BritishColumbian** · 03-01-2009, 10:40 AM

J thats a stage 9 clinger, run away before its to late

**BIG_TRUCK** · 03-01-2009, 10:42 AM

I want a clinger.... What's her number?

If she isn't circus freak ugly I'm open for her.

If she brought up her Brother or tried to intimidate me I would laugh and tell her to shut up or I'm going to dump you for being an idiot.

**J-Dogg** · 03-01-2009, 10:56 AM

I find something wrong with any girl I see, so count on more girl threads from me. I try to like them, I'm just picky and find something wrong.

her hips are too wide too.

Her uncle was talking to me, calls her "my future wife".

Her friends are professionals, all what you would think would be "good" girls. Her best friend last night was texting my girls Ex cause he was texting her, starting shit with him. I just said let it go.

Later I find out, her best friend who tries to be a bitch, was dating her current BF AND his best friend for 3 months at the same time. Hypocritical much?

**Nooomoto** · 03-01-2009, 11:08 AM

Your problem is that you're mixing worlds. You can't mix the friend world, and the girlfriend world. Haven't you seen that episode of Seinfeld? I know it's a TV show, but it rings true. Mixing the two worlds is never a good idea. This shit about her best friend texting your girlfriends ex and yada yada yada is BS, and not cool.

Your problem is that you know too many people in the same circle, and that circle runs into other circles. Gotta keep shit separate man. Compartmentalized information is the backbone of any worthy intelligence agency.

I never want to meet a girl's friends, and I never want her meeting my friends. No good can come from these things happening.

**J-Dogg** · 03-01-2009, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by Nooomoto

Your problem is that you're mixing worlds. You can't mix the friend world, and the girlfriend world. Haven't you seen that episode of Seinfeld? I know it's a TV show, but it rings true. Mixing the two worlds is never a good idea. This shit about her best friend texting your girlfriends ex and yada yada yada is BS, and not cool.

Your problem is that you know too many people in the same circle, and that circle runs into other circles. Gotta keep shit separate man. Compartmentalized information is the backbone of any worthy intelligence agency.

I never want to meet a girl's friends, and I never want her meeting my friends. No good can come from these things happening.

No way, a girl has to get along with my friends, and couples normally do things with other couples.

I just don't want her "Couple" friends telling me "you better not!" do this or that. I'm a grown man, I do what I want and I just don't want to be threatened by some little girls.

I did what any grown man would do in this situation. I just texted her about it!!! ROAR

**BIG_TRUCK** · 03-01-2009, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

No way, a girl has to get along with my friends, and couples normally do things with other couples.

I just don't want her "Couple" friends telling me "you better not!" do this or that. I'm a grown man, I do what I want and I just don't want to be threatened by some little girls.

I did what any grown man would do in this situation. I just texted her about it!!! ROAR

LMAO!

What a beast.

**J-Dogg** · 03-01-2009, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by BIG_TRUCK

LMAO!

What a beast.

Yup! She called, I didn't answer. Whats up

**BIG_TRUCK** · 03-01-2009, 11:18 AM

**BIG_TRUCK** · 03-01-2009, 11:20 AM

what did you text to her?

**Nooomoto** · 03-01-2009, 11:21 AM

You gotta lay down the law, dude. Let he know who the ****ing man is. After that, she will make you carrot cake cupcakes.

**J-Dogg** · 03-01-2009, 11:22 AM

it was a long text, basically what I wrote in my first post. That I'm not one to be intimidated by little girls or the brother in law officer.

It just pushes me away and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, I don't like her friends that "TRY" to act like they are bitchy and "NOT TO MESS WITH THEM" or else.

Makes me want to punch them in the face and revoke their right to vote.

**gymnerd** · 03-01-2009, 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

it was a long text, basically what I wrote in my first post. That I'm not one to be intimidated by little girls or the brother in law officer.

It just pushes me away and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, I don't like her friends that "TRY" to act like they are bitchy and "NOT TO MESS WITH THEM" or else.

Makes me want to punch them in the face and revoke their right to vote.

I must say that should do the trick right there.

**Bojangles69** · 03-01-2009, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

Nice girl, cute, smart, has her life together. She really is career orineted, the state is paying for her to go get her masters in the fall. Nice organized and can take care of herself.

When I first met her, and started seeing her, she had everything that I was looking for. On paper, she fit what was good for me.

I think what is pushing me away though, is she is a stage 5 clinger.

She keeps mentioning things like "you better not hurt me". This was after seeing her for about a week. I honestly did not even consider her my girl friend yet even.

Last night her dad turned 60. He family is wonderful, nice people. Her brother in law is a cop on the SCENT team and on the SWAT force, he's an alright guy but she tries to use that he's a police officer to almost intimidate me. She says to me, "Ya he HATES my ex, wants to murder him cause he hurt me". Her friends kind of do the same shit to me. Her friend just met me last night and as she was introduced to me says "Oh I have to tell you something but not here" almost in a threating voice.

It all stems cause I have an ex that is still interested in me and it makes this girl insecure. My ex actually attacked another ex of mine and the new GF brought that up, and kinda just said "oh if she tries that I'll" and I cut her off, just said enough, I'm not impressed by girls trying to beat each other up. I just got up and walked away and conversed with her uncle.

Of her friends, because of this, I only really like 1 of them. I am going to have to talk to her tonight about this because I am really kind of bothered by it. If her, her brother in law, her friends think I will obey from intimidation, they have the wrong guy, it's just pushing me away. If i do the right thing, it's cause I want too, if I do the wrong thing, it's cause I want too. And honestly, being pushed away makes me want to do the wrong thing and not care.

I just hate a 110lb girl being introduced to me and almost "warning" me. If a little girl wants to yell at me, I don't care. Just typing this makes me want to just call and yell, but I'll just go work legs today and talk about it tonight. Either that or just call it quits, cause i don't know if I like the girls she hangs around.

Girls who know how to keep their lives together also know how to keep their relationships together.
If you don't like it leave her.

Moreso, a girl who is "smart" does NOT say "you better not hurt me" after a week. She sounds like shes still in highscool or just an idiot.
If I was seeing a girl for a week, and she said that, its pretty much an iron clad reason and guarantee to end things on that note.
You need to learn how to read people better, than threads like this will stop.

**hugovsilva** · 03-01-2009, 11:46 AM

Show her who's the man. f*ck her in the pooper.

Then again that might "hurt" her and then you would be in trouble with her friends and brother in law cop. lol

**RuhlFreak55** · 03-01-2009, 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

No way, a girl has to get along with my friends, and couples normally do things with other couples.

I just don't want her "Couple" friends telling me "you better not!" do this or that. I'm a grown man, I do what I want and I just don't want to be threatened by some little girls.

I did what any grown man would do in this situation. I just texted her about it!!! ROAR

i've solved this problem......don't have friends

**RuhlFreak55** · 03-01-2009, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

Yup! She called, I didn't answer. Whats up

now you're just being a douche

**Bojangles69** · 03-01-2009, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by RuhlFreak55

now you're just being a douche

I agree. 100%

I also am starting to think with the amount of "i have girl" problem/threads this dude makes the more I'm starting to think he uses them for some wierd sort of ego boost.

when you read shit like this all the time from the same person:

"she is a stage 5 clinger"
"you better not hurt me" (she says)
"I honestly did not even consider her my girl friend yet even."
"ex that is still interested in me and it makes this girl insecure"
"My ex actually attacked another ex of mine and the new GF brought that up"
"it's just pushing me away"
"being pushed away makes me want to do the wrong thing and not care."

that he has 40 ex's, they're all fighting for him, hes ALWAYS just this close to leaving someone.. but never does.. like what are people suppose to think?
Seriously?
When you read those 7 lines its basically idiot proof what to do. Untill someone types them out in a thread format and asks what to do, than you realize its really not idiot proof anymore.

No offense, but really.

**F4iGuy** · 03-01-2009, 12:38 PM

I like the pooper idea.

**novastepp** · 03-01-2009, 12:58 PM

everyone has their stuff. maybe her ex was a real tool. in any case, if i were you, now, i would tell her once, "dont worry about me hurting you. i dont plan on doing anything like that, and im not even comparable to your ex. so lets move on and stop with the insecure game playing by you and your friends and family." thats your 1 and only move. if she keeps bringing it up, i'd be leaving. my $.02

**daem** · 03-01-2009, 01:10 PM

Your mistake is as follows: You met her family before you have any kind of relationship established.

Yes, her family might be wonderful, but all they know you as is some new dude in her life that has ****ed her or wants to **** her.

I've never been in solid with the family of any of my girls unless I was dating them exclusively for a time and she had built me up by explaining the kind things I did, or the great dates / fun we had. I'm educated, attractive, charming, etc. but despite all that, families are impossible to get in good with unless I've "proven" myself. They'll always be skeptical if you do things out of sequence.

Better luck next time bc you blew it here.

**Bojangles69** · 03-01-2009, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by daem

Your mistake is as follows: You met her family before you have any kind of relationship established.
Yes, her family might be wonderful, but all they know you as is some new dude in her life that has ****ed her or wants to **** her.

I've never been in solid with the family of any of my girls unless I was dating them exclusively for a time and she had built me up by explaining the kind things I did, or the great dates / fun we had. I'm educated, attractive, charming, etc. but despite all that, families are impossible to get in good with unless I've "proven" myself. They'll always be skeptical if you do things out of sequence.

Better luck next time bc you blew it here.

Yep great point. I thought that was pretty weird myself but didn't really touch on it. You don't meet a chicks family untill things get at least moderately serious.

**J-Dogg** · 03-01-2009, 03:02 PM

I'm with out a doubt, far from perfect, I have my issues with girls, that's a given. My biggest problem is probably committing to them. They want me to before I'm ready, it's not that I don't carry interest, I just don't like to jump into things as fast as they do.

If not answering the phone makes me a douche, I don't really care. I was upset and did not want to discuss it right then. I suppose I should just answer and yell at her, because that's the real non-douche thing to do. If something bothers me, I'll bring it up,but if I'm upset about it, I'm not going to get in an argument or yelling match about it.

A lot of girls are insecure, I'm not. I don't watch over their shoulders and want to know what they are doing 24/7. If they want to go hang out with their friends and go out, I'm not going to call 3 times to check up on them. If they are not happy with me, or if they are unstable and cheat, so be it. I'm not going to stop it, or try to. I'd rather them do it and move on than prevent it and stay with them. I tell girls they have to do the same to me, trust me or leave me. If you stay with someone, and don't trust them, you are setting yourself up for misery.

If she is insecure because my ex has a hard time when I move on, that's not my issue to deal with. I think it's hard for everyone when their ex moves on, it's part of love and life. We deal with it in different ways. If her ex wants to beat me up, I'm not going to hold her responsible for his actions. I've had ex's cheat on me, but I'm not going to automatically assume she is going to cheat on me. I'm not going to carry the consequences of my ex's actions over and expect her to pay for them, and I don't want to pay for the consequences for what her ex's did.

I've dated 4 girls over the past year, obviously 3 of them did not work. Maybe it is me, maybe they did not make me happy. Sorry if I post that they don't, and I'm not into them. Maybe that makes means I use girls as an ego boost, or you assume that because I resist when they persist and cling.

**daem** · 03-01-2009, 06:27 PM

It sounds like you should back away from the dating game and stop 'dating' for the time being.

The most misery I ever had was when I had the exact same # of "girlfriends" in 2007...I had 4 gf's that entire year and it was a nightmare. I kept finding myself single, sleeping with some bar/club girl, and then convincing myself they were a keeper. I

As soon as I just said **** it, I'm not dating for 6 months, the next girl I found is still together with me to this day. It's the longest relationship of my adult life, and I'm convinced that it took me going through that roller coaster to have enough maturity to step back from the "game" and just wait for the right one.

**J-Dogg** · 03-01-2009, 08:43 PM

Originally Posted by daem

It sounds like you should back away from the dating game and stop 'dating' for the time being.

The most misery I ever had was when I had the exact same # of "girlfriends" in 2007...I had 4 gf's that entire year and it was a nightmare. I kept finding myself single, sleeping with some bar/club girl, and then convincing myself they were a keeper. I

As soon as I just said **** it, I'm not dating for 6 months, the next girl I found is still together with me to this day. It's the longest relationship of my adult life, and I'm convinced that it took me going through that roller coaster to have enough maturity to step back from the "game" and just wait for the right one.

Agree'd.

I think it's something we all go through and have to learn about too. If we don't make these mistakes now, we go through a mid life crissis later in life. I don't have any kids, I've never been married. I'd rather figure this out now, than go through it when I'm 40, 2nd guess my relationship choices and have kids involved.

**MMArmour** · 03-02-2009, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by Bojangles69

I agree. 100%

I also am starting to think with the amount of "i have girl" problem/threads this dude makes the more I'm starting to think he uses them for some wierd sort of ego boost.

when you read shit like this all the time from the same person:

"she is a stage 5 clinger"
"you better not hurt me" (she says)
"I honestly did not even consider her my girl friend yet even."
"ex that is still interested in me and it makes this girl insecure"
"My ex actually attacked another ex of mine and the new GF brought that up"
"it's just pushing me away"
"being pushed away makes me want to do the wrong thing and not care."

that he has 40 ex's, they're all fighting for him, hes ALWAYS just this close to leaving someone.. but never does.. like what are people suppose to think?
Seriously?
When you read those 7 lines its basically idiot proof what to do. Untill someone types them out in a thread format and asks what to do, than you realize its really not idiot proof anymore.

No offense, but really.

The greatest thing about this site is that you can pick and choose what threads youd like to view. If you happen to see a thread topic involving a subject youd rather not discuss, or by a person you dont care for particularly, you have the absolutely ability to NOT CLICK IT.

The man posted this up to get something off his chest, help clarify his own thoughts and feelings, and get alittle advice. Not for you to bash him.

I know youre probably perfect and all when it comes to women but some of us arent.

**BuffedGuy** · 03-02-2009, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

......

I am going to go out on a limb here and be the sole dissenter in the thread.

First, it doesn't take Dr. Phil to figure out the fact that the girl has been burned before by the ex-boyfriend. He really hurt her, probably by cheating on her, dumping her for another girl, etc. Whatever the case, do you not feel that such feelings of hurt are justified? One would think that if she did *not* feel hurt over this, then there is probably something wrong with her.

Second, her fear of being hurt a second time (by you) seems to be justified, since it seems that you are willing to leave her. The key words from your post were "I honestly did not even consider her my girl friend yet even", "makes me want to do the wrong thing and not care", and "I find something wrong with any girl I see, so count on more girl threads from me." Furthermore, people seem to be saying that you make a lot of threads about various girls, so based on this, would you agree that you do not stay committed to one girl for too long?

Third, I think that a little bit of "clingy" is a good thing. It shows that she really cherishes you, doesn't want to lose you, etc. Is that not flattering? What if you were with a girl who didn't care at all if you left her? Wouldn't this show that she barely cared about you at all, barely batted an eye when you left, and simply jumped in bed with another? Admittedly, there is a difference between physiological (healthy) clinging and pathological clinging. But I don't think she reached that level...it seems that she has a completely rational fear that you will break up with her (which seems inevitable) and she has expressed her fears of that. I don't see anything worthy of a restraining order though.

Fourth, I think that you should stop thinking just about yourself, but think about her. We unfortunately live in a society which is very selfish. You should really think about your intentions, and if you think that you will end up hurting her later on down the line (based on your previous relationship history), then you should tell her this now and break up with her now as opposed to later, since it will hurt her more later on down the line. In other words, think about her, not just yourself...I'm not saying not to guard your own interest, but what I am saying is, don't be blind to hers.

Fifth, everyone has some flaws, including you. So even if you consider this a flaw of hers, does it negate all the good in her? It may be that her other good qualities offset her faults.

Sixth, I think you need to realize that her family and friends were there when her ex-boyfriend hurt her. They saw what it did to her, and they are just worried. This is natural, and I don't see why you are upset with them. It seems to me that if I were in that situation, I'd simply reassure them that I am not like that, and that would be the end of that. This goes with the girl too: all she needs is reassurance. But your actions will have to match your words before she is assuaged.

Seventh, I advise you to soften your heart. Women are a trust from God, so let us take care of it. Be soft and compassionate to her. One of my favorite quotes is:

"Be strong as steel on life's battlefield, but smooth as silk in love's bedchamber." (M. Iqbal)

Lastly, I apologize for anything offensive I have said. Just ignore my post if that is the case, and consider it simply a different perspective.

Peace.

**J-Dogg** · 03-02-2009, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by MMArmour

The greatest thing about this site is that you can pick and choose what threads youd like to view. If you happen to see a thread topic involving a subject youd rather not discuss, or by a person you dont care for particularly, you have the absolutely ability to NOT CLICK IT.

The man posted this up to get something off his chest, help clarify his own thoughts and feelings, and get alittle advice. Not for you to bash him.

I know youre probably perfect and all when it comes to women but some of us arent.

Good looking out bro, appreciate it. I'm trying to be perfect, but I'm coming up short!

Originally Posted by BuffedGuy

I am going to go out on a limb here and be the sole dissenter in the thread.

First, it doesn't take Dr. Phil to figure out the fact that the girl has been burned before by the ex-boyfriend. He really hurt her, probably by cheating on her, dumping her for another girl, etc. Whatever the case, do you not feel that such feelings of hurt are justified? One would think that if she did *not* feel hurt over this, then there is probably something wrong with her.

Second, her fear of being hurt a second time (by you) seems to be justified, since it seems that you are willing to leave her. The key words from your post were "I honestly did not even consider her my girl friend yet even", "makes me want to do the wrong thing and not care", and "I find something wrong with any girl I see, so count on more girl threads from me." Furthermore, people seem to be saying that you make a lot of threads about various girls, so based on this, would you agree that you do not stay committed to one girl for too long?

Third, I think that a little bit of "clingy" is a good thing. It shows that she really cherishes you, doesn't want to lose you, etc. Is that not flattering? What if you were with a girl who didn't care at all if you left her? Wouldn't this show that she barely cared about you at all, barely batted an eye when you left, and simply jumped in bed with another? Admittedly, there is a difference between physiological (healthy) clinging and pathological clinging. But I don't think she reached that level...it seems that she has a completely rational fear that you will break up with her (which seems inevitable) and she has expressed her fears of that. I don't see anything worthy of a restraining order though.

Fourth, I think that you should stop thinking just about yourself, but think about her. We unfortunately live in a society which is very selfish. You should really think about your intentions, and if you think that you will end up hurting her later on down the line (based on your previous relationship history), then you should tell her this now and break up with her now as opposed to later, since it will hurt her more later on down the line. In other words, think about her, not just yourself...I'm not saying not to guard your own interest, but what I am saying is, don't be blind to hers.

Fifth, everyone has some flaws, including you. So even if you consider this a flaw of hers, does it negate all the good in her? It may be that her other good qualities offset her faults.

Sixth, I think you need to realize that her family and friends were there when her ex-boyfriend hurt her. They saw what it did to her, and they are just worried. This is natural, and I don't see why you are upset with them. It seems to me that if I were in that situation, I'd simply reassure them that I am not like that, and that would be the end of that. This goes with the girl too: all she needs is reassurance. But your actions will have to match your words before she is assuaged.

Seventh, I advise you to soften your heart. Women are a trust from God, so let us take care of it. Be soft and compassionate to her. One of my favorite quotes is:

"Be strong as steel on life's battlefield, but smooth as silk in love's bedchamber." (M. Iqbal)

Lastly, I apologize for anything offensive I have said. Just ignore my post if that is the case, and consider it simply a different perspective.

Peace.

no offense taken, and nicely put, thank you!

I agree with most of your points. I'm interested in the girl obviously, I'd like to take it further, but it takes time for me to get to that point.

I was serious with my ex, but it took 6months of just dating before she started sleeping over, or me at her house. I don't like to just jump into things. At first, it's easy to just want too I think, but I think it's important for me to take my time so I don't jump into something I might regret.

I have her intentions at heart when I do this also. It's best for her to take it slow also. I met her 4 months ago, have been seeing her for about 6 weeks. I know very little about her, she knows very little about me.

I talked with her last night explained some things. Her insecurity stems not from my ex, but because I'm more distant than she wants to be. If I don't want to hang out every night, that makes her guess if I really like her.

I do like her, I think she is good for me, but I'm just not as ready as she is and that causes her to 2nd guess my intentions.

**MMArmour** · 03-02-2009, 01:00 PM

its easy to get the commitment fears going with her uncle calling her your future wife and everyone basically setting you up to do nothing but fail and **** this chic up even worse. Alot of preasure. Id tell her its going to be pretty hard to really get to know her for the person she is if youre stending all your time trying to laugh off threats from some faggot cop and every other little bitch she knows. That shit would set me off. Besides, she is really rushing this. Takes alot of time to learn to appreciate someone for who they are and if she wants that, then tell her to take her time. Its the journey. Not the destination.

**BuffedGuy** · 03-02-2009, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

no offense taken, and nicely put, thank you!

I agree with most of your points. I'm interested in the girl obviously, I'd like to take it further, but it takes time for me to get to that point.

I was serious with my ex, but it took 6months of just dating before she started sleeping over, or me at her house. I don't like to just jump into things. At first, it's easy to just want too I think, but I think it's important for me to take my time so I don't jump into something I might regret.

I have her intentions at heart when I do this also. It's best for her to take it slow also. I met her 4 months ago, have been seeing her for about 6 weeks. I know very little about her, she knows very little about me.

I talked with her last night explained some things. Her insecurity stems not from my ex, but because I'm more distant than she wants to be. If I don't want to hang out every night, that makes her guess if I really like her.

I do like her, I think she is good for me, but I'm just not as ready as she is and that causes her to 2nd guess my intentions.

Cool! Best of luck, bro.

**zimmy** · 03-02-2009, 01:24 PM

how old are you again man? No offense, i Just remember drama like this in my early20's

**MMArmour** · 03-02-2009, 01:31 PM

oh come on. no you didnt. no girls would talk to you remember??

**J-Dogg** · 03-02-2009, 02:05 PM

I'm 28. I'm kind of a late bloomer though maybe. I was in 2 back to back long term relationships that stemmed over a period of 10 years.

I think it's pretty normal dating and being single, seeing people, meeting people, getting to know girls and failing at establishing anything more with them regaurdless of age.

My friends dad goes through the same shat right now, he's a 60 year old doctor.

**novastepp** · 03-02-2009, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by J-Dogg

Good looking out bro, appreciate it. I'm trying to be perfect, but I'm coming up short!

no offense taken, and nicely put, thank you!

I agree with most of your points. I'm interested in the girl obviously, I'd like to take it further, but it takes time for me to get to that point.

I was serious with my ex, but it took 6months of just dating before she started sleeping over, or me at her house. I don't like to just jump into things. At first, it's easy to just want too I think, but I think it's important for me to take my time so I don't jump into something I might regret.

I have her intentions at heart when I do this also. It's best for her to take it slow also. I met her 4 months ago, have been seeing her for about 6 weeks. I know very little about her, she knows very little about me.

I talked with her last night explained some things. Her insecurity stems not from my ex, but because I'm more distant than she wants to be. If I don't want to hang out every night, that makes her guess if I really like her.

I do like her, I think she is good for me, but I'm just not as ready as she is and that causes her to 2nd guess my intentions.

from an outsiders perspective and seeing this develop, it may be possible that if you are in fact interested and if you do in fact think she is good for you, that you may need to meet this girl in the middle, and help ease both of your fears/insecurities. let her know u may need some space, but at other times take some time to be with her.

**calgarian** · 03-02-2009, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by RuhlFreak55

how many girl threads does he have?

I like clingers

it takes one to like one

**GT2** · 03-03-2009, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by Nooomoto

Your problem is that you're mixing worlds. You can't mix the friend world, and the girlfriend world. Haven't you seen that episode of Seinfeld? I know it's a TV show, but it rings true. Mixing the two worlds is never a good idea. This shit about her best friend texting your girlfriends ex and yada yada yada is BS, and not cool.

Your problem is that you know too many people in the same circle, and that circle runs into other circles. Gotta keep shit separate man. Compartmentalized information is the backbone of any worthy intelligence agency.

I never want to meet a girl's friends, and I never want her meeting my friends. No good can come from these things happening.

Agreed. However, I wouldn't mind meeting her friends, but I'd never become good friends with them. We'd only be friends because of my girlfriend.