Ask GymHero Anything

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 04:30 AM

I know more than DSM!!

1 rule- IronMaiden708 is not allowed to post!

**J431S** · 03-12-2009, 04:37 AM

1.how many cycles have u done?
2. do u regret it or not?
3. what was your favorite stack and why?
4. how many girlfriends or boyfriends do u have?
5. as far shaping and defination is in concern, is it better to be bulky or all lean muscle?

i think this 5 question can get u typing. Let's hear what u know.

**luxifer93** · 03-12-2009, 04:38 AM

DSM's gonna bend you over

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 04:39 AM

Originally Posted by J431S

1.how many cycles have u done?
2. do u regret it or not?
3. what was your favorite stack and why?
4. how many girlfriends or boyfriends do u have?
5. as far shaping and defination is in concern, is it better to be bulky or all lean muscle?

i think this 5 question can get u typing. Let's hear what u know.

1. 0
2. No
3. N.O Xplode

4. many gf's
5. Everyone has different taste! I like the freaks

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 04:40 AM

Originally Posted by luxifer93

DSM's gonna bend you over

**luxifer93** · 03-12-2009, 04:41 AM

I'll be nice and loan you this

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**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 04:42 AM

Originally Posted by luxifer93

I'll be nice and loan you this

**J431S** · 03-12-2009, 04:43 AM

Originally Posted by GymHero

1. 0
2. No
3. N.O Xplode

4. many gf's
5. Everyone has different taste! I like the freaks

I don't understand your respond to question two and three, can u explain?

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 04:45 AM

Originally Posted by J431S

I don't understand your respond to question two and three, can u explain?

Never have been on gear, will be eventually...

**J431S** · 03-12-2009, 05:00 AM

wow!! I just realized u are the most experience bbder on the board. Welcome to the house Gymhero
LOL

Originally Posted by GymHero

I have been reading up a lot on all of these and I'm just getting confused about how one has a short/long/ or no ester at all and also how long its life is. From what I read I guess having no ester at all is better right? Also about its life, I was confused about that part, is it about the esters life and how long it last? Just need a little info so I can be I can have a better understanding....

Originally Posted by GymHero

For a guy that is 5 " 10 155 at 7 % BF,how many carbs, macros, protein should be consumed each day. I know they need to bebalanced out but I am unsure of how to balance them while I am trying to bulk

Originally Posted by GymHero

When you guys show how your running your PCt for example, 20/20/20/40/40, what does that mean. What is that representing?

Originally Posted by GymHero

I have been lifing for 4 years and have just recently changed my diet. Before I at maybe 3 meals a day just because I was lazy but I now have 6-8 meals a day that consist of about 500 calories each. Here are my stats-

Height- 5 "10
Weight- 160
BF- 8 %

I have been researching for the past 3 months and I still am unsure of what GEAR I should use. I would appreciate it if you guys would recommend a good beginner cycle along with a PCT. I am trying to bulk up and would like to keep atleast 15 pounds by the time I am done with my pct.

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 05:06 AM

lol, ya im learning

**luxifer93** · 03-12-2009, 05:20 PM

1. How come nobody wants to ask you anything?

2. Why is this thread dead?

3. How come DSM is so much smarter?

**DSM4Life** · 03-12-2009, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by GymHero

I know more than DSM!!

**BritishColumbian** · 03-12-2009, 05:33 PM

Do you regret starting this STUPID fvcking thread?

**luxifer93** · 03-12-2009, 05:36 PM

Originally Posted by GymHero

I know more than DSM!!

***D7M*** · 03-12-2009, 05:37 PM

why did you ever start this thread?

**IronReload04** · 03-12-2009, 05:44 PM

approximately how many more posts until this thread is buried and lost forever?

**IM708** · 03-12-2009, 05:53 PM

Answer all these q's and i'll let you live.

1. Where would you hide gold if you were a leprachon?2. Can I jump over a fence using my head?3. Why is my brother gay?4. What makes a flying squirrel fly?5. What color do I get if I mix brown, green, yellow, magenta?6. What foods have the flavor umami? 7. Can you do chinups using your chin?8. Do you use sticky notes a lot?9. Would you snort dust if I paid you a dollar?10. Will the easter bunny kill me some day?11. What would happen if I mixed hot sauce w/ applesauce?12. Why are babies so ugly?13. Why are you gay?14. If someone gave you a dollar what would be your reaction. Would you spend that dollar on something special? Would you crinkle it up and put it in your pocket? Would you fold it neatly and put it in your wallet? Would you give it to someone else?15. Do i have a nice looking face?16. What would happen if I put a vacuum on my dick?17. Have you ever watched the video "1 guy 1 jar?"18. If green means go and red means stop, what does white mean?19. If you could ask mario any question you wanted what would it be?20. Do you inhale white-out fumes?21. Have you ever watched paint dry?22. Is Steve Jobs cool?23. Could I win a staring contest against you?24. What would happen if I popped a whole bottle of iron pills? Could a magnet stick to my arm?25. Do you own a nice pair of headphones?26. Why do I own such a shitty car?27. if you had the chance to assassinate obama would you do it?28. Who's your favorite member on the board?29. What would happen if I chugged a whole bottle of clen ?30. DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS?31. If you could eat grass would you?32. What emotions are sparked by the color navy blue?33. Can you guess how my hair is cut?34. If you could kiss any celeb you wanted who would it be? What about female celebs?35. Can I make a weapon out of a paper plane?36. What's the best dog name ever?37. Do you try to draw attention towards yourself?38. What's your favorite color pen?39. Black or Red?40. Do you think I should dress like He Man for holloween?41. Who is bimbo #542. Can you kill two birds w/ one stone?43. How many stones do you weigh?44. What's the temp outside in kelvin?45. Have you ever decorated your house with roses?46. Do you think it is cool to wear flipflops w/ socks?47. If you could make a remote to run any appliance in your house what would it be?48. What kind of socks do you wear?49. Do you drive like a miami driver?50. Why am I a competitive driver?51. If a cop threatened to shove his baton up your ass would you resist?52. What time is it in japan?53. I have a talking phone book but he never talks, is he shy?54. Do you text often?55. Lights on or off?56. What was your last electric bill?57. If you commited suicide which would be your method of choice?58. Would you buy a popsicle if it was salt flavored?59. Have you ever stuck your dick in a bowl of pudding?60. Would you eat that pudding after your dick was in it?61. La Le Lu Le ___?62. What's on cloud nine?63. If your asshole could talk to you what would it say after a heavy anal sex session?64. What about after you took a dump?65. Metal or plastic?66. Whats your preferred method of removing ass hairs?67. What would happen if I itched my head in one spot for 10 hours straight?68. If you could buy cum flavored waffles would you buy it?69. Would you put cum flavored syrup on it?70. Why are my cats afraid of me?71. If I bark at a dog does it understand me?72. Can I lose 39 lbs fast using hydroxycut?73. What creates sound?74. How many volts of electricity would it take to kill me?75. Do you think if I bought a toaster that could be used under water that it would be a big seller?76. Do you like the smell of gasoline?77. Why is elton john gay?78. What do you think of when you see banana?79. Why do I like to rub my face on my carpet?80. Have you ever stuck your finger up you butt and sniffed it afterwards?81. If micheal jacksons pet monkey bubble still alive?82. What's another name for the hamstrings?83. What does smile and frown mixed together look like?84. Are you smarted than a fifth grader?85. Would a cop find it funny if a threw a brick through the window of his patrol car?86. What's the average length of an asians dick?87. Would you ever date an asian?88. Why do jews have big noses?89. What is the point of the show Seinfeld?90. If you had a magic carpet what would you name it?91. If I jump off a 150 ft bridge how long would it take me to hit the ground?92. Do you cook pancakes?93. Favorite clothing store?94. My favorite clothing store?95. Do I get an honorary crown for asking so many questions?96. Have you ever had a triple whopper from Burger King?97. Why is spongebob squarepants yellow?98. Why is the sun called a star when it isn't shaped like one?99. Do you have a pea head?100. Who's brain is bigger? Mine or yours?101. Why am I short?102. Shorts or jeans?103. If I bought you a pair of Umbro shorts would you wear them?104. What would happen if I chugged a bottle of aspirin?105. How do you spell RADAR backwards?106. Is WWE wrestling fake?107. Are you a brotha?108. Do you like green tea?109. What if a rose didn't have any thorns on it?110. What makes me unique?111. Do you have plans to buy a new car in the near future?112. How much money do you have in your pocket?113. Do i own a nice computer?114. Would you eat your own pet if you got hungry enough?115. How many backflips can I do in a row without roughing the ground.116. Can Tony Hawk fly like a hawk.117. Who is your favorite comedian?118. Why are hippies hairy?119. Do hippies turn you on?120. Do hippies actually exist these days or are they all wannabe hippies121. Why is Jack Sparrow so sexy?122. What do you think when you see a midget.123. Have you ever kicked a girl in her shin?124. Have you ever been slapped in the face?125. What would happen if I headbutt a sidewalk?126. Why is my sister so dumb?127. Can a kangaroo play hopscotch?128. What does the p in pH stand for?129. Have you ever stapled your hand?130. I get erected every time the mailman drops off mail, why?131. What is the fifth derivative of 5^6?132. Does Mr. Hazel drink alot of hazelnut coffee?133. Do you think he enjoys eating hazelnuts?134. Can I eat coffee beans?135. 44*.9^9/.00056?136. Can you choke yourself only using your feet?137. What do you smell like?138. If I broke some glass and glued it to a peice of paper would it be considered art?139. Do you think I'm smarter than a brit?140. What does sanjay gupta do for a living?141. What gauge speaker wire should I use?142. Can I beat a 2nd grader at a spelling bee?143. If someone sent you a fine powder via mail what would do do?144. Favorite gift for xmas?145. Would you ever shove a sausage up your ass then eat it to add a low calorie sweetener?146. Are you a donkey or a mule?147. 100/10*sin(.3196)?148. Should I throw a pen at my ceiling until it gets stuck?149. Would you call yourself gross?150. Favorite food?151. Whats my favorite food?152. What my cats favorite food?153. What my other cats favorite food?154. Whats my ma's favorite food?155. What did you do for valentines day?156. Did jack the ripper fart alot?157. If I drink enough beer would I shit it out?158. Do you enjoy running hot sauce on your face.159. Do you use a belt sander to cut your finger nails?160. Do you use a lawn mower for you toe nails?161. If I was to make a beep sound in your ear for over an hour straight would you eventually go insane?162. Would you win in a fried chicken eating contest?163. If I dared you to dump hot oil on your chest would you do it.164. What would be your immediate reaction If you shoved a jar up your ass and it broke in there?165. Would i get hungry if all I ate were dates?166. What does pu$$y liquor taste like?167. What do grits taste like?168. What would a human banana split look like.169. do you have a sex swing in your bedroom?170. What word do you think of when you see the letter "P."171. Did you cry when you watched The little Toaster?172. If I drove my car into a brick wall at 80 mph and I wasn't wearing a seatbelt what would happen?173. How many front flips can do in a row before you hit the ground?174. Why do I hate Harry Potter?175. Am I a black guy trapped in a white guys body?176. Would you find it funny if I chucked a football at your head?177. Have you ever chainsawed a guys ass crack?178. Do leave blowers blow?179. Can I smoke catnip and get high from it?180. If I eat enough enough blueberries will I turn blue?181. Is neutral-red neutral?182. 182-0+25^(-1/4)183. Would could win in a smiling contest, you or sylvester stallone?184. Turkey or Chicken185. Favorite kind of music?186. Am I an attention whore If I cry alot?187. What happens if i spill a bowl of "ugh oh spagettios?"188. If I look flour and put in a fan what would happen?189. How many calories would i get from eating wood?190. Can i make throwing stars out of cds?191. Is Good Charlotte good?192. What's the perfect name for a pig?193. Can I kill you with a plastic spork?194. How often do you choke the chicken?195. Is Bill clinton a pimp?196. Can I kill myself only using floss?197. What would happen if i choped my own nuts off?198. Ain't ain't a word right?199. Why do I have herpes on my ear?200. log(200/56)?201. Would you wear a perfume if it was called Sex Monkey?202. Who came up with the words tye dye?203. Is Lance Bass your idol?204. Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee?205. Would you eat your own pimple?206. Whats the fastest way to lose weight?207. What is Einstein do on april 2nd 1908?208. Are there hidden subliminal messages in obamas speeches?209. What would be your immediate reaction if i beat you at a game of crokay?210. Ever played naked twister?211. Do you ever role play during sex?212. Why arn't peoples hands used during riverdance?213. Why are my cats noses wet?214. What is 10,000 romanian dollars worth in America?215. I just drank some dish detergent what should I do?216. Have you ever licked a frog?217. Who's tits are those in my avatar?218. Do you hum to yourself when running on a tredmill?219. Would you have sex with obamas wife?220. How long can you do a handstand for without using your hands?221. Can you burp the ABCs?222. x^2+2x-6=0. What is x?223. Can you beat the three musketeers at arm wrestling?224. Why is Oprah so fat?225. Would you let a dog lick your balls?226. Watched any good movies recently?227. Do you purposely roll up the windows and fart in your car?228. What's the worst thing a person can do on the first date?229. If I dropped a book on the floor would it be angry at me?230. When's lunch?231. I want to be abused, will you abuse me?232. If my nuts itch does it mean they need attention?233. Is logitech a logical choice?234. Are sharp tvs sharp?235. If I ate phytoestrogens every day would i eventually turn into a female?236. If I kill a bird on thursday will anything bad happen to me 3 weeks from now on monday?237. Can I collapse if I pinch myself too hard?238. Whats the probability that I will breathe in the next five minutes?239. Is it unusually sunny on sunday?240. Could i win the biggest loser?241. Are you jealous?242. Am i considered a cone head if i put a cone on my head?243. Would eating a pine cone provide a healthy amount of fiber in the diet?244. Ever eaten a rotten egg?245. If you were a teacher and your job was to discipline kids by spanking them would you get off on doing that?246. Do you own a grandmother clock?247. Should i wear polyester only on wednesdays?248. Do you like to munch on nuts?249. Do i like to munch on nuts?250. tan(50/5^e^2.46)?251. Is your asshole a cum dumpster?252. Why do you think you can compete with dsm?

***D7M*** · 03-12-2009, 05:56 PM

lol @ Ironmaiden

**IronReload04** · 03-12-2009, 05:57 PM

^^^^^^

What would be your immediate reaction If you shoved a jar up your ass and it broke in there?

**BritishColumbian** · 03-12-2009, 05:59 PM

when are you coming out of the closet?

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by luxifer93

1. How come nobody wants to ask you anything?

2. Why is this thread dead?

3. How come DSM is so much smarter?

1. They are shy

2. Great things take time

3. He isn't

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 07:23 PM

Originally Posted by BritishColumbian

Do you regret starting this STUPID fvcking thread?

No

**IM708** · 03-12-2009, 07:25 PM

Answer the 252 q's of mine

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by derek7m

why did you ever start this thread?

To be like DSM

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

approximately how many more posts until this thread is buried and lost forever?

It will never die

***T-MOS*** · 03-12-2009, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by ironmaiden708

Answer all these q's and i'll let you live.

1. Where would you hide gold if you were a leprachon?2. Can I jump over a fence using my head?3. Why is my brother gay?4. What makes a flying squirrel fly?5. What color do I get if I mix brown, green, yellow, magenta?6. What foods have the flavor umami? 7. Can you do chinups using your chin?8. Do you use sticky notes a lot?9. Would you snort dust if I paid you a dollar?10. Will the easter bunny kill me some day?11. What would happen if I mixed hot sauce w/ applesauce?12. Why are babies so ugly?13. Why are you gay?14. If someone gave you a dollar what would be your reaction. Would you spend that dollar on something special? Would you crinkle it up and put it in your pocket? Would you fold it neatly and put it in your wallet? Would you give it to someone else?15. Do i have a nice looking face?16. What would happen if I put a vacuum on my dick?17. Have you ever watched the video "1 guy 1 jar?"18. If green means go and red means stop, what does white mean?19. If you could ask mario any question you wanted what would it be?20. Do you inhale white-out fumes?21. Have you ever watched paint dry?22. Is Steve Jobs cool?23. Could I win a staring contest against you?24. What would happen if I popped a whole bottle of iron pills? Could a magnet stick to my arm?25. Do you own a nice pair of headphones?26. Why do I own such a shitty car?27. if you had the chance to assassinate obama would you do it?28. Who's your favorite member on the board?29. What would happen if I chugged a whole bottle of clen?30. DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS?31. If you could eat grass would you?32. What emotions are sparked by the color navy blue?33. Can you guess how my hair is cut?34. If you could kiss any celeb you wanted who would it be? What about female celebs?35. Can I make a weapon out of a paper plane?36. What's the best dog name ever?37. Do you try to draw attention towards yourself?38. What's your favorite color pen?39. Black or Red?40. Do you think I should dress like He Man for holloween?41. Who is bimbo #542. Can you kill two birds w/ one stone?43. How many stones do you weigh?44. What's the temp outside in kelvin?45. Have you ever decorated your house with roses?46. Do you think it is cool to wear flipflops w/ socks?47. If you could make a remote to run any appliance in your house what would it be?48. What kind of socks do you wear?49. Do you drive like a miami driver?50. Why am I a competitive driver?51. If a cop threatened to shove his baton up your ass would you resist?52. What time is it in japan?53. I have a talking phone book but he never talks, is he shy?54. Do you text often?55. Lights on or off?56. What was your last electric bill?57. If you commited suicide which would be your method of choice?58. Would you buy a popsicle if it was salt flavored?59. Have you ever stuck your dick in a bowl of pudding?60. Would you eat that pudding after your dick was in it?61. La Le Lu Le ___?62. What's on cloud nine?63. If your asshole could talk to you what would it say after a heavy anal sex session?64. What about after you took a dump?65. Metal or plastic?66. Whats your preferred method of removing ass hairs?67. What would happen if I itched my head in one spot for 10 hours straight?68. If you could buy cum flavored waffles would you buy it?69. Would you put cum flavored syrup on it?70. Why are my cats afraid of me?71. If I bark at a dog does it understand me?72. Can I lose 39 lbs fast using hydroxycut?73. What creates sound?74. How many volts of electricity would it take to kill me?75. Do you think if I bought a toaster that could be used under water that it would be a big seller?76. Do you like the smell of gasoline?77. Why is elton john gay?78. What do you think of when you see banana?79. Why do I like to rub my face on my carpet?80. Have you ever stuck your finger up you butt and sniffed it afterwards?81. If micheal jacksons pet monkey bubble still alive?82. What's another name for the hamstrings?83. What does smile and frown mixed together look like?84. Are you smarted than a fifth grader?85. Would a cop find it funny if a threw a brick through the window of his patrol car?86. What's the average length of an asians dick?87. Would you ever date an asian?88. Why do jews have big noses?89. What is the point of the show Seinfeld?90. If you had a magic carpet what would you name it?91. If I jump off a 150 ft bridge how long would it take me to hit the ground?92. Do you cook pancakes?93. Favorite clothing store?94. My favorite clothing store?95. Do I get an honorary crown for asking so many questions?96. Have you ever had a triple whopper from Burger King?97. Why is spongebob squarepants yellow?98. Why is the sun called a star when it isn't shaped like one?99. Do you have a pea head?100. Who's brain is bigger? Mine or yours?101. Why am I short?102. Shorts or jeans?103. If I bought you a pair of Umbro shorts would you wear them?104. What would happen if I chugged a bottle of aspirin?105. How do you spell RADAR backwards?106. Is WWE wrestling fake?107. Are you a brotha?108. Do you like green tea?109. What if a rose didn't have any thorns on it?110. What makes me unique?111. Do you have plans to buy a new car in the near future?112. How much money do you have in your pocket?113. Do i own a nice computer?114. Would you eat your own pet if you got hungry enough?115. How many backflips can I do in a row without roughing the ground.116. Can Tony Hawk fly like a hawk.117. Who is your favorite comedian?118. Why are hippies hairy?119. Do hippies turn you on?120. Do hippies actually exist these days or are they all wannabe hippies121. Why is Jack Sparrow so sexy?122. What do you think when you see a midget.123. Have you ever kicked a girl in her shin?124. Have you ever been slapped in the face?125. What would happen if I headbutt a sidewalk?126. Why is my sister so dumb?127. Can a kangaroo play hopscotch?128. What does the p in pH stand for?129. Have you ever stapled your hand?130. I get erected every time the mailman drops off mail, why?131. What is the fifth derivative of 5^6?132. Does Mr. Hazel drink alot of hazelnut coffee?133. Do you think he enjoys eating hazelnuts?134. Can I eat coffee beans?135. 44*.9^9/.00056?136. Can you choke yourself only using your feet?137. What do you smell like?138. If I broke some glass and glued it to a peice of paper would it be considered art?139. Do you think I'm smarter than a brit?140. What does sanjay gupta do for a living?141. What gauge speaker wire should I use?142. Can I beat a 2nd grader at a spelling bee?143. If someone sent you a fine powder via mail what would do do?144. Favorite gift for xmas?145. Would you ever shove a sausage up your ass then eat it to add a low calorie sweetener?146. Are you a donkey or a mule?147. 100/10*sin(.3196)?148. Should I throw a pen at my ceiling until it gets stuck?149. Would you call yourself gross?150. Favorite food?151. Whats my favorite food?152. What my cats favorite food?153. What my other cats favorite food?154. Whats my ma's favorite food?155. What did you do for valentines day?156. Did jack the ripper fart alot?157. If I drink enough beer would I shit it out?158. Do you enjoy running hot sauce on your face.159. Do you use a belt sander to cut your finger nails?160. Do you use a lawn mower for you toe nails?161. If I was to make a beep sound in your ear for over an hour straight would you eventually go insane?162. Would you win in a fried chicken eating contest?163. If I dared you to dump hot oil on your chest would you do it.164. What would be your immediate reaction If you shoved a jar up your ass and it broke in there?165. Would i get hungry if all I ate were dates?166. What does pu$$y liquor taste like?167. What do grits taste like?168. What would a human banana split look like.169. do you have a sex swing in your bedroom?170. What word do you think of when you see the letter "P."171. Did you cry when you watched The little Toaster?172. If I drove my car into a brick wall at 80 mph and I wasn't wearing a seatbelt what would happen?173. How many front flips can do in a row before you hit the ground?174. Why do I hate Harry Potter?175. Am I a black guy trapped in a white guys body?176. Would you find it funny if I chucked a football at your head?177. Have you ever chainsawed a guys ass crack?178. Do leave blowers blow?179. Can I smoke catnip and get high from it?180. If I eat enough enough blueberries will I turn blue?181. Is neutral-red neutral?182. 182-0+25^(-1/4)183. Would could win in a smiling contest, you or sylvester stallone?184. Turkey or Chicken185. Favorite kind of music?186. Am I an attention whore If I cry alot?187. What happens if i spill a bowl of "ugh oh spagettios?"188. If I look flour and put in a fan what would happen?189. How many calories would i get from eating wood?190. Can i make throwing stars out of cds?191. Is Good Charlotte good?192. What's the perfect name for a pig?193. Can I kill you with a plastic spork?194. How often do you choke the chicken?195. Is Bill clinton a pimp?196. Can I kill myself only using floss?197. What would happen if i choped my own nuts off?198. Ain't ain't a word right?199. Why do I have herpes on my ear?200. log(200/56)?201. Would you wear a perfume if it was called Sex Monkey?202. Who came up with the words tye dye?203. Is Lance Bass your idol?204. Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee?205. Would you eat your own pimple?206. Whats the fastest way to lose weight?207. What is Einstein do on april 2nd 1908?208. Are there hidden subliminal messages in obamas speeches?209. What would be your immediate reaction if i beat you at a game of crokay?210. Ever played naked twister?211. Do you ever role play during sex?212. Why arn't peoples hands used during riverdance?213. Why are my cats noses wet?214. What is 10,000 romanian dollars worth in America?215. I just drank some dish detergent what should I do?216. Have you ever licked a frog?217. Who's tits are those in my avatar?218. Do you hum to yourself when running on a tredmill?219. Would you have sex with obamas wife?220. How long can you do a handstand for without using your hands?221. Can you burp the ABCs?222. x^2+2x-6=0. What is x?223. Can you beat the three musketeers at arm wrestling?224. Why is Oprah so fat?225. Would you let a dog lick your balls?226. Watched any good movies recently?227. Do you purposely roll up the windows and fart in your car?228. What's the worst thing a person can do on the first date?229. If I dropped a book on the floor would it be angry at me?230. When's lunch?231. I want to be abused, will you abuse me?232. If my nuts itch does it mean they need attention?233. Is logitech a logical choice?234. Are sharp tvs sharp?235. If I ate phytoestrogens every day would i eventually turn into a female?236. If I kill a bird on thursday will anything bad happen to me 3 weeks from now on monday?237. Can I collapse if I pinch myself too hard?238. Whats the probability that I will breathe in the next five minutes?239. Is it unusually sunny on sunday?240. Could i win the biggest loser?241. Are you jealous?242. Am i considered a cone head if i put a cone on my head?243. Would eating a pine cone provide a healthy amount of fiber in the diet?244. Ever eaten a rotten egg?245. If you were a teacher and your job was to discipline kids by spanking them would you get off on doing that?246. Do you own a grandmother clock?247. Should i wear polyester only on wednesdays?248. Do you like to munch on nuts?249. Do i like to munch on nuts?250. tan(50/5^e^2.46)?251. Is your asshole a cum dumpster?252. Why do you think you can compete with dsm?

LOLOL that goes double for me....lolol

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

^^^^^^

What would be your immediate reaction If you shoved a jar up your ass and it broke in there?

Have DSM pull it out

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by BritishColumbian

when are you coming out of the closet?

**GymHero** · 03-12-2009, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by ironmaiden708

Answer the 252 q's of mine

i m right now

**IM708** · 03-12-2009, 07:44 PM

A stitch in time saves nine what? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright Are female moths called myths? Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands? Are there any unguided missiles? Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"? Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Can a stupid person be a smart-ass? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener? Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer? Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans? Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs? Do boxer shorts box?Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? Do clowns wear really big socks? Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims? Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped? Do fish get thirsty? Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? Do mass murderers kill only in church? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'? Do pilots take crash-courses? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Do steam rollers really roll steam? Do television evangelists do more than lay people? --Stanley Ralph Moss Do vampires get AIDS? Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Do witches run spell checkers? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them? Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? --Steven Wright Does a man-eating shark eat women, too? Does an analyst have to be anal? --Adam Rifkin Does killing time damage eternity? Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't get it. --Steven Wright Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem? Have you ever wondered? How can someone "draw a blank"? How can there be self-help "groups"? How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes? How come chocolate milk doesn't come from brown cows? How come I can pick my ears but not my nose? How come wrong numbers are never busy? How dead is the Dead Sea? How did a fool and his money get together? How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done? How do I set my laser printer on stun? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass? How do you get off a nonstop flight? How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others? How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word? How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold? How does it work out that these people always die in alphabetical order? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? How is it possible to have a "civil" war? How is it possible to run out of space? How long is the long arm of the law? How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? How many weeks are there in a light year? How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? How much milk is there in the Milky Way? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was? --Satchel Paige If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?" If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk? If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do? If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? --Tom Robbins If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If a mime commits suicide, does he use a silencer? --Steven Wright If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn't it reverse up and down? If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth? If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock? If a pizza place sells pizza by the slice, is there a guy in the back tossing a triangle in the air? --Steven Wright If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb? If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? --Harry Shearer If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting? If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow? If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? --Steven Wright If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them? If corn can't hear, why does it have an ear? If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from? If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of? --Ashleigh Brilliant If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums? If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show? --Steven Wright If God can do anything, can he make a rock so big he can't lift it? --George Carlin If God dropped acid, would he see people? If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get? If humans have nightmares, what do horses have? If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? --Steven Wright If I save time, when do I get it back? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? --Dennis Miller If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like? If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it? If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? --Art Hoppe If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in? If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? If you didn't get caught, did you really do it? If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money? If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn? If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so? Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers? Is "tired old cliché" one? Is a castrated pig disgruntled? Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback? Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer? Is a small pig called a hamlet? Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine? Is drilling for oil boring? Is duck tape made out of ducks? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky? Is the nose the scenter of the face? Is this bullshit or fertilizer? Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? --Victoria Wood Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell? The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get? Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower? What are imitation rhinestones? What do batteries run on? What do chickens think we taste like? What do penguins wear for play clothes? What do people in China call their good plates? What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep? What do they call a French kiss in France? What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company? What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it? What do you call a male ladybug? What do you call male ballerinas? What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes? What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? What happened to the first 6 UP's? What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice? --Steven Wright What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass? What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil? What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours? What happens when none of your bees wax? What happens when you swallow your pride? What if hell really did freeze over? What would we be using instead? What if someone died in the living room? What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about? What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? What is "Soft Liquor"? What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? What is a refried bean? Why do they have to fry it twice? What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved? What is the diameter of a square? What is the speed of dark? What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum? What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Whatever happened to preparations A through G? What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped? What's the synonym for thesaurus? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? When day breaks who fixes it? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? When night falls who picks it up? When people lose weight, where does it go? When something fades in the sunlight, where did the colors go? When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to? When we say our mind wanders - where does it go? When you put a sheet over your head for Halloween, are you a ghost or a mattress? Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath? Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket? Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary? Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons? Where does the fire go when the fire goes out? Where does the white go when the snow melts? Where does your lap go when you stand up? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg? Where is Old Zealand? Which is the other side of the street? Who killed the Dead Sea? Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!" Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat? Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green? Why are America's parks administered by the Department of the Interior? Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Why are highways build so close to the ground? Why are raisins called raisins if they are only dried grapes? Why not just call them dried grapes? Why are some gay people so unhappy? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting? Why are violets blue and not violet? Why are you expected to slow down in a speed zone? Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders? Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free? Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"? Why can't we tickle ourselves? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why did the pot call the kettle black? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn't the company just hire taller dancers? --Fred Allen Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why do flamingos stand on only one leg? Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight? Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on? Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed? Do they feel perhaps they'll need an alibi? Why do people go to the unemployment office to find a job? Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways? --Larry Anderson Why do people tell you when they are speechless? Why do pigs have curly tails? Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore? Why do they call it life insurance?Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? Why do they call the piece of wood a two-by-four if it's only 1 3/4" x 3 1/2"? Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the weekends? Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it? Why do they make cars go so fast its illegal? Why do they make scented toilet paper? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up? Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo? Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated? Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong? Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them? Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag? Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things? Why do you feet smell and your nose runs? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic? Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries? Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape? Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie? Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?" Why don't they just make food stamps edible?Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why get even, when you can get odd? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is a boxing ring square? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? --Amboy Dukes Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why is a women's prison called a penal colony? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why is clear considered a color? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemonsWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? --Steven Wright Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? --Lily Tomlin Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why was Evelyn Wood in such a hurry? You can't have everything. Where would you put it? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

**DSM4Life** · 03-12-2009, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by ironmaiden708

A stitch in time saves nine what? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright Are female moths called myths? Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands? Are there any unguided missiles? Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"? Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Can a stupid person be a smart-ass? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener? Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer? Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans? Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs? Do boxer shorts box?Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? Do clowns wear really big socks? Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims? Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped? Do fish get thirsty? Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? Do mass murderers kill only in church? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'? Do pilots take crash-courses? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Do steam rollers really roll steam? Do television evangelists do more than lay people? --Stanley Ralph Moss Do vampires get AIDS? Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Do witches run spell checkers? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them? Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? --Steven Wright Does a man-eating shark eat women, too? Does an analyst have to be anal? --Adam Rifkin Does killing time damage eternity? Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't get it. --Steven Wright Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem? Have you ever wondered? How can someone "draw a blank"? How can there be self-help "groups"? How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes? How come chocolate milk doesn't come from brown cows? How come I can pick my ears but not my nose? How come wrong numbers are never busy? How dead is the Dead Sea? How did a fool and his money get together? How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done? How do I set my laser printer on stun? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass? How do you get off a nonstop flight? How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others? How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? How do you throw away a garbage can? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word? How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold? How does it work out that these people always die in alphabetical order? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? How is it possible to have a "civil" war? How is it possible to run out of space? How long is the long arm of the law? How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? How many weeks are there in a light year? How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? How much milk is there in the Milky Way? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was? --Satchel Paige If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?" If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk? If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do? If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? --Tom Robbins If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If a mime commits suicide, does he use a silencer? --Steven Wright If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn't it reverse up and down? If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth? If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock? If a pizza place sells pizza by the slice, is there a guy in the back tossing a triangle in the air? --Steven Wright If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb? If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? --Harry Shearer If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting? If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow? If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? --Steven Wright If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them? If corn can't hear, why does it have an ear? If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from? If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of? --Ashleigh Brilliant If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums? If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show? --Steven Wright If God can do anything, can he make a rock so big he can't lift it? --George Carlin If God dropped acid, would he see people? If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get? If humans have nightmares, what do horses have? If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? --Steven Wright If I save time, when do I get it back? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? --Dennis Miller If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like? If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it? If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? --Art Hoppe If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in? If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? If you didn't get caught, did you really do it? If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money? If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn? If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so? Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers? Is "tired old cliché" one? Is a castrated pig disgruntled? Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback? Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer? Is a small pig called a hamlet? Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine? Is drilling for oil boring? Is duck tape made out of ducks? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky? Is the nose the scenter of the face? Is this bullshit or fertilizer? Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? --Victoria Wood Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell? The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get? Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower? What are imitation rhinestones? What do batteries run on? What do chickens think we taste like? What do penguins wear for play clothes? What do people in China call their good plates? What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep? What do they call a French kiss in France? What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company? What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it? What do you call a male ladybug? What do you call male ballerinas? What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes? What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? What happened to the first 6 UP's? What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice? --Steven Wright What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass? What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil? What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours? What happens when none of your bees wax? What happens when you swallow your pride? What if hell really did freeze over? What would we be using instead? What if someone died in the living room? What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about? What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? What is "Soft Liquor"? What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? What is a refried bean? Why do they have to fry it twice? What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved? What is the diameter of a square? What is the speed of dark? What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum? What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Whatever happened to preparations A through G? What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped? What's the synonym for thesaurus? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? When day breaks who fixes it? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? When night falls who picks it up? When people lose weight, where does it go? When something fades in the sunlight, where did the colors go? When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to? When we say our mind wanders - where does it go? When you put a sheet over your head for Halloween, are you a ghost or a mattress? Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath? Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket? Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary? Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons? Where does the fire go when the fire goes out? Where does the white go when the snow melts? Where does your lap go when you stand up? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg? Where is Old Zealand? Which is the other side of the street? Who killed the Dead Sea? Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!" Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat? Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green? Why are America's parks administered by the Department of the Interior? Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Why are highways build so close to the ground? Why are raisins called raisins if they are only dried grapes? Why not just call them dried grapes? Why are some gay people so unhappy? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting? Why are violets blue and not violet? Why are you expected to slow down in a speed zone? Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders? Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free? Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"? Why can't we tickle ourselves? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why did the pot call the kettle black? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn't the company just hire taller dancers? --Fred Allen Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why do flamingos stand on only one leg? Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight? Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on? Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed? Do they feel perhaps they'll need an alibi? Why do people go to the unemployment office to find a job? Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways? --Larry Anderson Why do people tell you when they are speechless? Why do pigs have curly tails? Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore? Why do they call it life insurance?Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? Why do they call the piece of wood a two-by-four if it's only 1 3/4" x 3 1/2"? Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the weekends? Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it? Why do they make cars go so fast its illegal? Why do they make scented toilet paper? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up? Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo? Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated? Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong? Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them? Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag? Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things? Why do you feet smell and your nose runs? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic? Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries? Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape? Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie? Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?" Why don't they just make food stamps edible?Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why get even, when you can get odd? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is a boxing ring square? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? --Amboy Dukes Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why is a women's prison called a penal colony? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why is clear considered a color? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays? Why is it that night falls but day breaks? Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemonsWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? --Steven Wright Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? --Lily Tomlin Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why was Evelyn Wood in such a hurry? You can't have everything. Where would you put it? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

**jbm** · 03-12-2009, 07:54 PM

Why Ironmaiden708 ask too many question?

**jbm** · 03-12-2009, 07:55 PM

Are you ready to be flamed again and again?

**jbm** · 03-12-2009, 07:57 PM

Why do you want to be like DSM?

**jbm** · 03-12-2009, 07:58 PM

Do you have a thick skin?

**BgMc31** · 03-12-2009, 07:59 PM

Have you seriously been lifting for 4yrs and only weigh 160lbs at 5'8? My 14yr old son is bigger than you and he's been lifting for only a year (he's 6'0 and 175lbs)... why should we take advice from you?