Child Support/Money Hungry Xwife

[hellapimpin]

word

[J-Dogg]

Bro you are as dumb as me.

Always taking care of the ex's when they need it.

let me be a sucker, but you should know better!

[IronReload04]

ok 2 questions.....


1. since alimony is based on what you make. What if you go from being a doctor to working at mcdonalds. HOw ddoes that work?

2. what if you were to just flee the country and move to a place where the U.S. has no jurisidiction and that country will not cooperate with the U.S.?

bump

[Kratos]

ok 2 questions.....


1. since alimony is based on what you make. What if you go from being a doctor to working at mcdonalds. HOw ddoes that work?

2. what if you were to just flee the country and move to a place where the U.S. has no jurisidiction and that country will not cooperate with the U.S.?

1. you can file for a reduction if your circumstances change...but she can try to prove in court the only thing that has changed is your will to make money to pay her. I've seen country club golf records brought into court and everthing to prove someone isn't working as hard as they once were. You'd have to prove a job a Mc'd's is the best you can do...pretty hard unless you have brain damage. If the judge sides against you, it could lead to a few overnighters in the slammer...seen that happen too. Judge want's x amount of dollars handed over..you don't have it so they throw you inside, then you still have to pay and get bailed out to boot. It can get ugly depending on how much of a bitch she wants to be about getting her money.

2. You'll have to be near up to date to leave the country I think...then you'll have to get citizenship somewhere else that won't co-op with the US and live there and it will probably be a shit hole country where you can't make much money. But, yeah you could do it...never welcome back to the US to see your family or friends or kids...so it's a major trade off.

The extent of the laws being enforced are mainly dependant on how much noise she makes.

[Kratos]

Lucky for her he's a wimp. I'd kill her ass.

She already had him thrown in jail once for an assault charge even though he didn't touch her. Who do you think the cops are gonna look at first?

[Ernst]

She already had him thrown in jail once for an assault charge even though he didn't touch her. Who do you think the cops are gonna look at first?

Didn't say I'd get away with it. As long as I can drag the bitch to hell with me I'll consider it worth it. That's no way to live.

[IronReload04]

1. you can file for a reduction if your circumstances change...but she can try to prove in court the only thing that has changed is your will to make money to pay her. I've seen country club golf records brought into court and everthing to prove someone isn't working as hard as they once were. You'd have to prove a job a Mc'd's is the best you can do...pretty hard unless you have brain damage. If the judge sides against you, it could lead to a few overnighters in the slammer...seen that happen too. Judge want's x amount of dollars handed over..you don't have it so they throw you inside, then you still have to pay and get bailed out to boot. It can get ugly depending on how much of a bitch she wants to be about getting her money.

2. You'll have to be near up to date to leave the country I think...then you'll have to get citizenship somewhere else that won't co-op with the US and live there and it will probably be a shit hole country where you can't make much money. But, yeah you could do it...never welcome back to the US to see your family or friends or kids...so it's a major trade off.

The extent of the laws being enforced are mainly dependant on how much noise she makes.

thanks for the response kratos.

Thats pretty unbelievable.

So, I would hope that works both ways....


hypothetically....if you go from working at mcdonalds and getting divorced. To being a doctor after the divorce.....I would hope one would only have to pay the alimony mcdonalds situation.




This system is so ****ed up. I cant even fathom how it came to be. Shit was probably equally as bad for women some time ago. But, how does going to the polar opposite really improve anything. The fact that people can get away with this in this country really bothers me. It makes me feel so uneasy how such rubbish can get passed in the UNITED STATES government????? It really makes you think about the characters we have above us, making descisions for us.

[Kratos]

no it doesn't swing both ways
If her income has substantially gone down since the last order, or
your income has substantially gone up since the last order, or
The reasonable expenses of caring for the children have drastically gone up or down since the last order.

she can hall your ass back into court and possibly get it changed
the child support will be easier to get increased than the wife support in most cases

Wife support can often be more dependant on how long the marriage was though too. If you were only married two years...she isn't going to be supported for 10...she'll be lucky to get two...so that's one good thing. She'll just have to find the next sucka to take care of her.

[IronReload04]

^^^^^

good info...


SOunds Like I for sure will be getting a prenup. But then again, I am sure women can find ways in court to weasle around that.

[hellapimpin]

Thanx for the great Reading on this topic Kratos

[IronReload04]

what bothers me the most. If she can prove you are working "less hard", she is still entitled to the same money as when you were working "more hard"

To me, that sounds more like slavery. Like old school british slavery where they did not own your soul, but had a contract on you for so many years. Thats exactly what the alimony thing seems like to me.'


I believe a man has the right to work less hard after that. Because what the hell is the point in that situation if his way of life goes down and is constant no matter what job he has. Doctors who work say 60 hours a week. NO ONE should be forced into that situation.

[Kratos]

Thanx for the great Reading on this topic Kratos

Just try to keep things cival with her so it doesn't get out of hand...make your payments on time and be nice. Don't miss your visitation weekends, cause she'll use that against you in court. Buy the kid stuff and save recipts rather than give her extra money. Ask her what the kid needs to make it easier on her, and act like you really want to help. If ill feelings start to surface she can make your life suck but it isn't the norm. It's best for the kid too if you guys aren't always fighting about the money aspects even if she ends up loosing in court.

[Kratos]

what bothers me the most. If she can prove you are working "less hard", she is still entitled to the same money as when you were working "more hard"

To me, that sounds more like slavery. Like old school british slavery where they did not own your soul, but had a contract on you for so many years. Thats exactly what the alimony thing seems like to me.'


I believe a man has the right to work less hard after that. Because what the hell is the point in that situation if his way of life goes down and is constant no matter what job he has. Doctors who work say 60 hours a week. NO ONE should be forced into that situation.

I hear ya, if I had a big court order I'd just want to put my thumb up my butt and crash in a friend's basement rather than continue to work a stressful ass job to hand over my check...and that's just what the law won't let you do.

You can't let her see you livin too good, driving a nice car or wearing your expensive clothes. As long as she doesn't think you're living better than her she won't start to feel angery and get your financials. She has to think she's getting your bottom dollar.

[hellapimpin]

i don't know how i would handle that situation..

[IronReload04]

kratos here is a good question.

What if she inititiates the divorce. Will allimony be judged any differently than if the man initiated the divorce?

[Kratos]

kratos here is a good question.

What if she inititiates the divorce. Will allimony be judged any differently than if the man initiated the divorce?

Nope, doesn't matter. If it is a no fault divorce, you both agree the marriage is over. Better to let her put the paperwork in, in this situation if that's a possibility...that way she can't say you filed and you wanted the divorce. But you might both have to be present at the same lawyers office to file under no fault, I'm not sure. No fault would be "incompatibility," "irreconcilable differences," or "irremediable breakdown of the marriage"

If one of you were slutting around, or one person is at fault in the divorce it can get more complicated.

examples that cause fault

cruelty (inflicting unnecessary emotional or physical pain) -- this is the most frequently used ground for divorce
adultery
desertion for a specified length of time
confinement in prison for a set number of years, and
physical inability to engage in sexual intercourse, if it was not disclosed before marriage.

If both parties are at fault it's called "comparative rectitude" granting divorce to the party least at fault.

in many states no-fault requires some waiting period to work things out.
if you are found at fault it may count against you for child support or spousal support

[Kratos]

mediation is a good thing
keep things nice and make sure she remembers she loved you once
lawyers, police and wedding bands mixed together can end poorly

[Kratos]

keep in mind my views are mainly based on my opinion
don't be afraid to consult a lawyer

[IronReload04]

Nope, doesn't matter. If it is a no fault divorce, you both agree the marriage is over. Better to let her put the paperwork in, in this situation if that's a possibility...that way she can't say you filed and you wanted the divorce. But you might both have to be present at the same lawyers office to file under no fault, I'm not sure. No fault would be "incompatibility," "irreconcilable differences," or "irremediable breakdown of the marriage"

If one of you were slutting around, or one person is at fault in the divorce it can get more complicated.

examples that cause fault

cruelty (inflicting unnecessary emotional or physical pain) -- this is the most frequently used ground for divorce
adultery
desertion for a specified length of time
confinement in prison for a set number of years, and
physical inability to engage in sexual intercourse, if it was not disclosed before marriage.

If both parties are at fault it's called "comparative rectitude" granting divorce to the party least at fault.

in many states no-fault requires some waiting period to work things out.
if you are found at fault it may count against you for child support or spousal support

^^^

thanks good info. its very confusing and irrational stuff.

[jimmyinkedup]

for christs sake - if shes truly spending it on your kids....then who cares????? They deserve it - and they desereve more than "what it costs to pay their way" They deserve life's extras...they would have them if you were there - they should if you arent.. If money is not going to children - then i understand concerns.

[MASTER]

Man women can be hell. Theres this footballer from over here, Ray Parlour, who has to pay 12500 pounds (18k dollars?) per kid (he has 3) maintenance, and had to pay his wife 444k out of his 1.2 mil a year earnings on top as alimony payments. He has now retired from football, so his earnings have clearly dropped massively, but the judge ruled he would have to give his ex 35% of all his future earnings, on top of the maintenance for the kids. He could end up paying his ex-wife more in alimony payments than he gets to keep himself! It is a crazy world.

[jbm]

Man women can be hell. Theres this footballer from over here, Ray Parlour, who has to pay 12500 pounds (18k dollars?) per kid (he has 3) maintenance, and had to pay his wife 444k out of his 1.2 mil a year earnings on top as alimony payments. He has now retired from football, so his earnings have clearly dropped massively, but the judge ruled he would have to give his ex 35% of all his future earnings, on top of the maintenance for the kids. He could end up paying his ex-wife more in alimony payments than he gets to keep himself! It is a crazy world.

Agreed bro! some women are gold diggers...

[Kratos]

for christs sake - if shes truly spending it on your kids....then who cares????? They deserve it - and they desereve more than "what it costs to pay their way" They deserve life's extras...they would have them if you were there - they should if you arent.. If money is not going to children - then i understand concerns.

That's why you make sure it goes directly to the kid by buying it stuff and not missing visitation. The dude has to live too, that's why who cares. You give her what you agreed upon based on what you can afford so she can provide for the kid, not get a free ride to sit on her ass. But, also if she tries to turn the kid against and say you never did shit, the kid will remember. Kids don't understand child support, and how much you pay, but they remember you bought them a new pair of sneekers. Of course people want to take care of their kids, but you gotta be smart and not a chump.

[J-Dogg]

That's why you make sure it goes directly to the kid by buying it stuff and not missing visitation. The dude has to live too, that's why who cares. You give her what you agreed upon based on what you can afford so she can provide for the kid, not get a free ride to sit on her ass. But, also if she tries to turn the kid against and say you never did shit, the kid will remember. Kids don't understand child support, and how much you pay, but they remember you bought them a new pair of sneekers. Of course people want to take care of their kids, but you gotta be smart and not a chump.

I agree 100%.

The child is his responsibility, not the ex. She is an adult and should be pitching in to support the child as well...not living off an ex and the financial "perks" of bearing a child. If she simply cannot pay those bills, she is not responsible enough to have custody IMO.

Pay the minimum, anything you do extra.....do for the child, trust funds, school cloths, allowances, vacations, what ever. Just don't put the money in her hands so she can do what she wants with it.

[ni4ni]

[jimmyinkedup]

That's why you make sure it goes directly to the kid by buying it stuff and not missing visitation. The dude has to live too, that's why who cares. You give her what you agreed upon based on what you can afford so she can provide for the kid, not get a free ride to sit on her ass. But, also if she tries to turn the kid against and say you never did shit, the kid will remember. Kids don't understand child support, and how much you pay, but they remember you bought them a new pair of sneekers. Of course people want to take care of their kids, but you gotta be smart and not a chump.

perhaps you skimmed over the last line in my post - "if money isnt going to kids i understand your concerns." Kind of an important point.....

[IronReload04]

ya, as someone else kind of pointed out....

If the bitches NEED, or claim to NEED all this goddamn money.....Does that not prove the bitch is not responsible enough and or does not have the resources to raise the kid????? in which custody should go to the father?????

[dehydromethandrotren]

get your kid then get a restraining order on her.

[ni4ni]

there ya go

[sloth9]

First off when you start fighting and you talk about divorce, you go and sell all your belongings to your buddy for a dollar each or something like that, go get cashier checks and or have a notary public notarize your receipts that show this. Yes it sucks but you put all your guns and tools along with computers, tvs everything that is important in storage in your buddies name. Next you do the same with boats motorcycles anything you own. This keeps the stuff you worked hard for out of her worthless hands, now you will need your main vehicles, but I think this way cause I have guns, tools and 2 project cars, one is getting a frame off restoration right now. Well I suggest you also take all your bank accounts, and keep her out, as long as she is still married nothing can been done if she drains it. Watch your credit closely women will open up credit in your name and then screw it up. If she gets custody watch your kid, cause most women will make their ex look like crap to the kids, and alot of women think they cant make it without a man so they whore themselves out to get money or live in a nicer house. Just watch out for this for your kids safety, most of the time those men are trash or they dont like kids and might be mean. Anyway good luck my sister inlaw is getting a divorce and the ex makes about 3700 a month, the courts are taking 1000 out for child support now so we will see how long he keeps working in the oil field. Make sure you report any change of employment, if your get fired or laid off or have to take a crappy job or a better one. A guy I once hired didnt realize that child support accrued with interest, he didnt pay for 8 months or something like that. He had 5 or 6 kids with a couple of different women, but he didnt draw a paycheck for a month and a half, he was pissed. Just be careful and dont trust your ex at all treat everything said as a lie, and dont kiss her butt thinkin you will get your way. when it comes to visitation you get your kid on your days if she says we are going on vacation demand that your kid comes over on your days it is court appointed you know. Marriage isnt that bad but it needs to be with the right person, good luck man.

[IronReload04]

^^^^^

can you do that???? sell all your stuff like that to a friend. The court wont over ride that or any bullshit?

[Kratos]

Ex can make major withdrawals from a joint checking account. In a joint bank account, either person can withdraw all of the money, regardless of any agreements between the parties. That's true even if it were your account before married, you made every deposit, and Nearly-Ex was added to the account merely for convenience. Even if Nearly-Ex puts it in writing, she still can go down to the bank and take every cent before or after the divorce.

both parties must agree to sell any joint property,
Ex can refuse to sign off when you wanted to sell your car even long after the divorce if both your names are on the title.

If you try to get too cute with stripping the house clean before coming to an agreement, it's going to look bad in court, real bad.

There is nothing smart about fighting over household goods...it is just not worth it -- emotionally or financially. Valuation of personal property, furniture, and household goods is based upon a current “fair market value”. This generally means what you could reasonably sell an item for at the present date, such as “garage sale” prices. Give her the she wants and take the things you want...it will probably be a relief to buy new shit for your new place. Maybe you get to keep your guns and she gets to keep her jewlery...something like that. Everyone has things in the house that are important to them...if you can work it out do.

So much to be said for keeping things from snowballing.

[IronReload04]

^^^^

this thread needs to be a sticky

sounds like whatever girl I marry will have to pass like a 10 year test or something. Jesus

[Misery13]

Do not indulge in comversations with them or make them any promise's that you don't intend on keeping...let your lawyer do the talking...