What would you do?

**Gears** · 04-15-2009, 03:04 AM

So I was walking out of work today with my girlfriend and some guy she knows walked up behind her and put his arms around her right infornt of me. She quickly tore them off and made it clear I was her boyfriend, but I think he already knew. Either way, I was about three seconds from connecting my fist to this guy before she diffused it. I tend to over-react in some situations so I like to get a clear perspective of things....

So what would you guys have done? Would you still have done/said something?

**WOLFCRAFT** · 04-15-2009, 03:29 AM

Oh man, yeah that would have pissed me off.
If she threw his hands off and made it clear I would probably give the guy a crooked look and leave it at that.
She took care of it.
If he persisted in any way then I'd proceed to blow a fuse and give the guy a piece of my mind, and maybe fist.
He shouldn't have put a ****ing hand on your chick... but sounds like she handled it.

**WOLFCRAFT** · 04-15-2009, 03:31 AM

Haha, man now I'm pissed just thinking about it!

**higherdesire** · 04-15-2009, 03:38 AM

If I thought he was being disrespectful I would insult him immediately to see if he was looking for trouble. If I didn't think so I would make a joke or just introduce myself. My insult would be something like "dude you better be gay because if your straight and are groping my girl in front of me I am going to be insulted" I would say it with a smile to give him the chance to say something to save face, but also the chance to be clear about his intentions if he was trying to be disrespectful.

**jbm** · 04-15-2009, 03:42 AM

That kind of action is so disrespectful! If I were you I'll insult him right away. I also experienced that bro.... it really pisses me off!

**hellapimpin** · 04-15-2009, 03:50 AM

she did the right thing..good thing for him! lolz!

But if you say the dude probably already knew, then I would have felt disprespected. I tend to react quickly on things like that..It would have depended on my mood. 50/50 chance i would have let it go..or introduced myself with a "Firm" handshake...(and hoped for one more reason to commence ass whippin)

**Gears** · 04-15-2009, 04:38 AM

Originally Posted by hellapimpin

she did the right thing..good thing for him! lolz!

But if you say the dude probably already knew, then I would have felt disprespected. I tend to react quickly on things like that..It would have depended on my mood. 50/50 chance i would have let it go..or introduced myself with a "Firm" handshake...(and hoped for one more reason to commence ass whippin)

That's pretty much how I handled it.. One thing to add, she seems very friendly towards most people... She calls it like a brother/sister type relationship and honestly means it. But that includes like hitting each other in the arm and bumping into each other, which I find to be flirting. Do you guys think this is grounds for dismissal, or at least a talk?

**PittBoy** · 04-15-2009, 05:30 AM

Originally Posted by Gears

That's pretty much how I handled it.. One thing to add, she seems very friendly towards most people... She calls it like a brother/sister type relationship and honestly means it. But that includes like hitting each other in the arm and bumping into each other, which I find to be flirting. Do you guys think this is grounds for dismissal, or at least a talk?

I don't think it's grounds for dismissal but a talk....yeah. If it bothers you she should know. An affair doesn't start off as an affair. It starts with joking and touching and then somewhere it crosses the line. Not saying your girl would ever do that or anything like that.

I can relate as my wife was friendly too when we first got married. I knew she didn't mean anything by it but we talked and I told her it bothered me and that while I knew she didn't mean anything a guy may take those jokes, or touches the wrong way and misinterpret things.

And either that dude is an idiot or he was trying something to show some kind of dominance or something. No matter how friendly I was with a girl unless she was related or something I'd never put my arm on her in front of her boyfriend I never met. A dude did that to me once....i didn't know him and she did. He put his arm around her and I calmly said in front of a group of people.....take your arm off my wife or I'm gonna break your neck. I may have overreacted but I made my point and he and I actually got along well after that.

I could be wrong but I'd watch that dude if I were you

**CHAP** · 04-15-2009, 05:44 AM

I agree with pittboy . If a guy does something like that to a girl your with without knowing if your with her or willing to find out he just does not care . And you need to lay it out for him .

**Matt** · 04-15-2009, 06:05 AM

Imo it depends how well he knows your gf, perhaps they were very good friends and he hasnt seen her in a while. The fact is she shrugged him off which was all that was needed.
Because it was her that shrugged him off and put him straight then the guy must feel alittle small, i know i would. If you would of hit him then he's got what he wanted, a reaction from you. Thats to say he knew you were with her.
Women can stand up for themselves, let them do it...

**LAW** · 04-15-2009, 06:30 AM

Originally Posted by MAD MATT

Imo it depends how well he knows your gf, perhaps they were very good friends and he hasnt seen her in a while. The fact is she shrugged him off which was all that was needed.
Because it was her that shrugged him off and put him straight then the guy must feel alittle small, i know i would. If you would of hit him then he's got what he wanted, a reaction from you. Thats to say he knew you were with her.
Women can stand up for themselves, let them do it...

I totally agree. She stood up for herself and you her boyfriend and that's all that was needed.
As far as touching brother/sister like, I think it is a thing a lot of girls/women do and I know Im guilty myself but I never cross the line when im in a relationship, im in it and all the so called flirting with my "brother" doesn't mean that Im going to stray. Controlling her by not allowing her to be herself is not the answer. She is with you because she wants to be. Don't read to much into that behavior

**PittBoy** · 04-15-2009, 06:43 AM

Originally Posted by LAW

I totally agree. She stood up for herself and you her boyfriend and that's all that was needed.
As far as touching brother/sister like, I think it is a thing a lot of girls/women do and I know Im guilty myself but I never cross the line when im in a relationship, im in it and all the so called flirting with my "brother" doesn't mean that Im going to stray. Controlling her by not allowing her to be herself is not the answer. She is with you because she wants to be. Don't read to much into that behavior

I also agree about not controlling who she is and allowing her to be herself and should have expanded on what I was saying too. I wouldn't give an ultimatum or anything like that but again let her know if it is bothering you and why it is bothering you. Just putting it out there helps a lot. If she had a problem with something I was doing I would want her to let me know too. Not saying anything and letting it bottle up isn't going to do anyone any good either.

My wife is still the outgoing friendly wonderful woman she has always been but I think she is also a little more careful with how she reacts to other guys.

I don't know this guy and he could be harmless and just wasn't thinking but I have ran into guys that have done that on purpose for whatever reason so just be careful.

**scerpico22** · 04-15-2009, 07:48 AM

Mad Matt and Hellapimpin got it right (IMO). Your girl did absolutely the right thing in defending your relationship with this jerk. After her doing the right thing and setting him straight all you have to do is give him a nice stare into his sole and this will suffice as to let him know, that YOU better not hear of this again because next time, Im going to handle it.

You did the right thing...as well as your girl.

**Mooseman33** · 04-15-2009, 07:49 AM

How long have you been dating this girl?

**Gears** · 04-15-2009, 11:37 AM

Thanks for all the replies so far. We have been dating for 5 months. Does this change anything?

**Matt** · 04-15-2009, 11:39 AM

^^ No it doesnt lol, you did the right thing, imo all is cool...

**Jfew44** · 04-15-2009, 11:41 AM

I don't think it changes anything. I would have a sitdown with her and explain to her how it makes you feel and you're glad she handled it like she did because you don't like to handle things like that. It's all about respect. You don't do it to her so she shouldn't do it to you.

**Skully44420** · 04-15-2009, 11:45 AM

you did the right thing since she handled it

but i say if it happens again knock the fukker out

**scerpico22** · 04-15-2009, 12:02 PM

yup, homeboy gets a pass on the first one...IF it happens again...oh boy...light that fvcker up...

**Matt** · 04-15-2009, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by scerpico22

yup, homeboy gets a pass on the first one...IF it happens again...oh boy...light that fvcker up...

Yep, have to agree with that....

**Nicotine** · 04-15-2009, 12:04 PM

i think you OVER reacting and fighting may have put her off too, esp if you've only been together 5 months-ish.....

if she completely shut him away - no worries.

just have a light discussion about who he is, etc... don't make it an attack or an argument....

i have had people do that in the past...but i KNEW they were just good friends, and that it wasnt done out of disrespect towards me.....

**DSM4Life** · 04-15-2009, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by Gears

So I was walking out of work today with my girlfriend and some guy she knows walked up behind her and put his arms around her right infornt of me. She quickly tore them off and made it clear I was her boyfriend, but I think he already knew. Either way, I was about three seconds from connecting my fist to this guy before she diffused it. I tend to over-react in some situations so I like to get a clear perspective of things....

So what would you guys have done? Would you still have done/said something?

Life has enough trouble without looking for it. Let it go.
Be happy your girl stuck up for you and move on. In the end , you got the girl, you win. Be happy.

**WOLFCRAFT** · 04-15-2009, 01:39 PM

Was the guy good looking?

I've had girlfriends with friends like this before, but usually they're fat dorks so there's really no threat of anything happening on her end.

Now if the guy's attractive... then I'd keep a close eye on him.

My ex was friends with this dude Phil who I thought was way cool and trusted.
Found out a year after we broke up that they were ****ing the whole time.

**Lightsout2184** · 04-15-2009, 01:49 PM

you did the right thing i have lost a couple gfs in the past because in that same situation it turned into blows. my current chick is real hott and we had to make a deal where when we go out to clubs or bars when guys hit on her or anything as long as she handles it like ur girl did then i have to let it go. its hard i know.

**xo3et** · 04-15-2009, 01:50 PM

Man i be pi**ed, what you did was the most wise choice. As said, id now put effort in to meet your Girl again and hopefully this dick will try his loverboy charm again. Then id be on him like a f*cking rash.

I HATE blokes who whistle eye up or mess with other guys chicks when their blokes are with them. no respect and it shows people these days dont give two bob about any manners....

**Gaspari1255** · 04-15-2009, 01:52 PM

Be proud she stood up for herself. If she didn't and looked at you for help, then hammer him. Atleast now she knows (or atleast thinks) that you can control your temper, lol.

**MASTER** · 04-15-2009, 01:54 PM

if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor? Reminds me of this classic which im sure many of you have seen before http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZLaOpFMzo8 .

**MMArmour** · 04-15-2009, 03:10 PM

id have looked at my girl and said "you know this guy?" and figured out the story. Had it been a situation where it was totally inappropriate for him to do what he did id have pressed him to see if he wanted to get lit up in the parking lot.

something like "whats up dude? are you ****ing retarded?"

and take it from there.

Glad it didnt end in a fight for that kids sake. Way to keep control tho man. That shit is hard to keep locked down sometimes.

**ni4ni** · 04-15-2009, 04:24 PM

damn bro, way to keep a cool-tool
i think i wouldve gone ape $hit

**Tigershark** · 04-15-2009, 04:43 PM

Good job on keeping your cool. You did the right thing and props to your girlfriend for handling it the way she did.

**gsmavs15** · 04-15-2009, 05:09 PM

........

**j4ever41** · 04-15-2009, 06:01 PM

yeah i hate a punk bitch like that but you did the right thing bro, was in a situation a couple of weeks ago just sitting chilling listening to some music with my girl and this guy had all ready bothered her and she was rude to him so thought this fvcktard would not come back well after i few minutes he comes back with a drink for her and says here i brought this for you so i took it from him and poured it out he gets pissed starts talking shit so i get up do a little double palm strike to his chest and this ****er falls back over a chair then the cops run over so im thinking now im going to jail for this shit should have knocked out his teeth but the cops already had been watching him because of complaints from the staff so we just left.

**Gears** · 04-15-2009, 09:11 PM

I talked about it with my girl today, she agreed she can be a bit naive when it comes to things like that and she will be more careful about how friendly she is. She's also no longer friends with the cock that disrespected me the other night. Now i'm just waiting for tomorrow... If he tries to pull the same sh*t, it's hats off, but I doubt he's that stupid but I could be wrong. I might end up losing my job and spending a few nights in jail, but there are some lines you simply do not cross.

**CptAmericaX** · 04-15-2009, 09:21 PM

Well im glad things turned the way they did, But in a instance like that, I would have found out there relationship if he was a ex, I would keep my mouth shut and the next time stomp his face, if he was a longtime friend from before our relationship I would play it cool because you wouldnt wanna come off as a jealouse asshole, and third if it was some guy who she had just met recently or especially if it was someone she was working with Id wait to pul him aside and set him straight.

Word to the mothership

**novastepp** · 04-15-2009, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by Gears

I talked about it with my girl today, she agreed she can be a bit naive when it comes to things like that and she will be more careful about how friendly she is. She's also no longer friends with the cock that disrespected me the other night. Now i'm just waiting for tomorrow... If he tries to pull the same sh*t, it's hats off, but I doubt he's that stupid but I could be wrong. I might end up losing my job and spending a few nights in jail, but there are some lines you simply do not cross.

as much as youd like to beat his ass.. if he does it again, i'd pull him aside right there in front of your girl. and id say something along the lines of, "i don't know where all this disrespect is coming from bud, but "her name" and I have talked about it, and it's time to stop. let's not make any of this go any further." and walk back to your girl and leave.

tell you're girl what u said, and that you felt after a second time something more needed to be said. tell her you'll always stand up for her, and your relationship. hopefully he backs off, if not, she'll think he's a complete piece of shit, and someone who doesn't respect you and her situation with you. second, she'll know you're into her and you will be there for her when things get dicey. win/win. men act like men, and they respect their women.

**jamyjamjr** · 04-15-2009, 09:51 PM

my gf would have knocked that fool out before i got the chance...

god i love my woman...

**Gears** · 04-15-2009, 10:35 PM

Seems like there are varying opinions. I could imagine the most reasonable thing to do would be to talk to him... But my temper may get the best of me. I'm not the most patient when it comes to assholes.

Edit: Added a poll.

**IronReload04** · 04-15-2009, 10:40 PM

i voted be reasonable

1. dont compromise yourself with the law.....just dont do it

2. everything you want to say, you can say it with your eyes and facial expression. If you are a maniac like myself, no words are needed. the face and eyes is worth a thousand words

**novastepp** · 04-15-2009, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by IronReload04

i voted be reasonable

1. dont compromise yourself with the law.....just dont do it

2. everything you want to say, you can say it with your eyes and facial expression. If you are a maniac like myself, no words are needed. the face and eyes is worth a thousand words

exactly. the fury will be on your face Gears. and i'm not voting because you can say words while being stern and to the point. no point in being reasonable other than not being violent. He should get the idea, but to me, the point of the verbal altercation is for YOUR benefit. shows your girl who you are and that you care, and shows him you are NOT afraid to be a man.