Originally Posted by
higherdesire
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at
Wal-Mart, for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus.
I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I
had a dog. What did she think? That I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital
last time.
On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my
story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care
because the dog food had poisoned me.
I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking
lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack, he was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there
anymore
Reply With Quote
