Buying house as couple.

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:36 PM

When buying a house for the first time with someone as a couple.

If we break up and didn't want house: split 50/50 everything
If we break up and one person wants house:the other person has to "buy out" what the other put into the home.
But what if we both want the house : ??? Then what ?

**Chode Logan** · 05-01-2009, 05:38 PM

Since you're gay, whoever takes the dong gets the house by default, kind of like how it works if you're straight.

**TRT,MAN** · 05-01-2009, 05:38 PM

then your gonna have a big fight. best way is sell it split 50/50, or possibly try to buy out other person.

**TRT,MAN** · 05-01-2009, 05:40 PM

unless you like fighting?

**TRT,MAN** · 05-01-2009, 05:41 PM

be a man and give it too your spouse.

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by TRT,MAN

then your gonna have a big fight. best way is sell it split 50/50, or possibly try to buy out other person.

Well like original post, if one wants it we buy out, if non we split.

I guess we could write something up that if we both want/fight over the house then we are forced to split all at 50/50.

damn im smart. You guys are dumb

**stack_it** · 05-01-2009, 05:43 PM

I would do a sort of prenup type thing with an agreement in writing saying that if you can't agree on which one gets the house you agree to sell the house and split it 50/50.

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by TRT,MAN

be a man and give it too your spouse.

If kids are involved i would without a doubt give it to the person that has child but thats not in this equation....yet.

**TRT,MAN** · 05-01-2009, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Well like original post, if one wants it we buy out, if non we split.

I guess we could write something up that if we both want/fight over the house then we are forced to split all at 50/50.

damn im smart. You guys are dumb

oh thanks alot, lol

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by stack_it

I would do a sort of prenup type thing with an agreement in writing saying that if you can't agree on which one gets the house you agree to sell the house and split it 50/50.

Great minds think alike !

**firmechicano831** · 05-01-2009, 05:44 PM

The best way is to get into a mutual aggrement to see who gets the house. Or else fight it off in court until someone runs out of money. LOL

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by TRT,MAN

oh thanks alot, lol

**stack_it** · 05-01-2009, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Well like original post, if one wants it we buy out, if non we split.

I guess we could write something up that if we both want/fight over the house then we are forced to split all at 50/50.

damn im smart. You guys are dumb

Damn u beat me to it!

**Pocketbattleship2B** · 05-01-2009, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

When buying a house for the first time with someone as a couple.

If we break up and didn't want house: split 50/50 everything
If we break up and one person wants house:the other person has to "buy out" what the other put into the home.
But what if we both want the house : ??? Then what ?

IF you both want the house the strongest of you beats the weaker to death, this is only exceptable in same sex relationships.If you are a man and woman and you (lets assume the man) try to take the house for yourself, the woman will call you a heartless bast*rd who is trying to make her homeless and will turn your friends and all the female members or you family/community against you until you just give her the house just to shut her the f**k up before you have a stroke from the stress.

**Chode Logan** · 05-01-2009, 05:45 PM

Hm I thought my comment was rather insightful.

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by firmechicano831

The best way is to get into a mutual aggrement to see who gets the house. Or else fight it off in court until someone runs out of money. LOL

I dont want this to be a mess which is why i want all this figured out in the beginning. I feel bad because he says "how come your always bring up , if we break up." I feel bad but i want to be reasonable at the same time.

**stack_it** · 05-01-2009, 05:46 PM

The replys are coming too fast I can't keep up!

**TRT,MAN** · 05-01-2009, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

ok ds i except i feel way better.

**almostgone** · 05-01-2009, 05:46 PM

Honestly man, that's the test of any relationship. Working out these details before committing to the purchase. Not trying negative, but it's just the sensible/logical thing to do.
If you "break up" will you be able to maintain co-ownership of the house in an adult manner? Potentially a touchy situation.

Just my 2 cc.

AG

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by Chode Logan

Hm I thought my comment was rather insightful.

This is no time for joke, this is serious business !!

**TRT,MAN** · 05-01-2009, 05:47 PM

hey ds how long have you even been with your partner?

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by almostgone

Honestly man, that's the test of any relationship. Working out these details before committing to the purchase. Not trying negative, but it's just the sensible/logical thing to do.
If you "break up" will you be able to maintain co-ownership of the house in an adult manner? Potentially a touchy situation.

Just my 2 cc.

AG

Thats what i told him. He is OK with it but just questing why i keep bringing it up. I told him covering all this in the beginning helps put my mind at ease.

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by TRT,MAN

hey ds how long have you even been with your partner?

3 years this summer i believe. I am bad with dates , shhhhhhhhhh

**stack_it** · 05-01-2009, 05:51 PM

Make sure u get it all straight before you jump into it. I jumped into buying a house with my ex and lost everything. The house the dog and the thousands in renovations along with the hours upon hours of work since I did all the work myself

**almostgone** · 05-01-2009, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Thats what i told him. He is OK with it but just questing why i keep bringing it up. I told him covering all this in the beginning helps put my mind at ease.

Umm, tell him if you didn't address this prior to the purchase that you would feel as if the relationship wasn't being taken seriously. If you just jump into a deal on a whim, it would seem to me that there wasn't very much value assigned to the relationship.

AG

**TRT,MAN** · 05-01-2009, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

3 years this summer i believe. I am bad with dates , shhhhhhhhhh

just checking cause buying a house is big commitment. but three years is good start.

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by TRT,MAN

just checking cause buying a house is big commitment. but three years is good start.

Yeah, we lived together before and it was fine. I freaked out and thought i wanted to be single and got my own place. I think a big part if that was i was never on my own and i really wanted to try it. The party scene got old really fast. Bring people home from the bar and having fun was ok but i am not that type of person. I always found myself wanting to be back with him and we got back together. We currently have our own places and things are good. The house is the next step .

Originally Posted by almostgone

Umm, tell him if you didn't address this prior to the purchase that you would feel as if the relationship wasn't being taken seriously. If you just jump into a deal on a whim, it would seem to me that there wasn't very much value assigned to the relationship.

AG

I think he understands and is going with the flow. He is just a little sensitive when it comes to the negative talk but he knows it needs to be done.

This is my first house so i am being very cautious.

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by stack_it

Make sure u get it all straight before you jump into it. I jumped into buying a house with my ex and lost everything. The house the dog and the thousands in renovations along with the hours upon hours of work since I did all the work myself

Wow, that really does suck.

**almostgone** · 05-01-2009, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

.....I think he understands and is going with the flow. He is just a little sensitive when it comes to the negative talk but he knows it needs to be done.

This is my first house so i am being very cautious.

Sounds like normal "pre-home ownership" jitters to me. Everyone gets them. It's human nature to ponder the catastrophic "what-if" possibilities....Christ, I hope it's human nature.....or else I'm terminally focused on failure.

AG

**jbm** · 05-01-2009, 07:20 PM

Originally Posted by TRT,MAN

unless you like fighting?

**CptAmericaX** · 05-01-2009, 07:23 PM

haha and here the whole time I thought you were kidding about enjoying the company of the same sex DSM... wow thats intence leme hold this in for a moment... ok I myself am about to purchase as a first time buyer with my wife, but Im putting myname down only on the house beings how if I die its not like she wouldnt get it anyway, and Im the sole source of income for the all finacial issues, but takeing out small loans with her name and building her credit will come in handy if myne goes to sh*t now I can use her as a backup. But I dont see that happening my credits pretty goood and I have a steady job. Anyway even tho im going solo on the house with my name if we split I would give it to her and my newborne well thats on the way. But best of luck to you

**DSM4Life** · 05-01-2009, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by CptAmericaX

haha and here the whole time I thought you were kidding about enjoying the company of the same sex DSM... wow thats intence leme hold this in for a moment... ok I myself am about to purchase as a first time buyer with my wife, but Im putting myname down only on the house beings how if I die its not like she wouldnt get it anyway, and Im the sole source of income for the all finacial issues, but takeing out small loans with her name and building her credit will come in handy if myne goes to sh*t now I can use her as a backup. But I dont see that happening my credits pretty goood and I have a steady job. Anyway even tho im going solo on the house with my name if we split I would give it to her and my newborne well thats on the way. But best of luck to you

If i die he doesn't get anything because we aren't as equal as you straights

**higherdesire** · 05-01-2009, 07:31 PM

Well the sa dreality is that noone wins in that situation DSM. So since everyone loses you need to have some guidlines on place, which comes i the form of a contract. Losers make bad decisions, and a break up is two losers starting over.

See an attorney, they will be familair with theses situations and the applicable laws governing them in your state, it will be worth the money guarenteed. You would truly be playing the fool to draw it up on a napkin. I hope the best for you and your partner, but if it doesn;t work you will atleast have made one good decision in it all and there will be one less thing to destroy.

Good luck.

**scottythebody** · 05-01-2009, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

I dont want this to be a mess which is why i want all this figured out in the beginning. I feel bad because he says "how come your always bring up , if we break up." I feel bad but i want to be reasonable at the same time.

Just tell him it is a lot easier to sort out these types of details when you are on good terms. If you wait until the relationship has failed things will be a lot more difficult

**stack_it** · 05-01-2009, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by CptAmericaX

haha and here the whole time I thought you were kidding about enjoying the company of the same sex DSM... wow thats intence leme hold this in for a moment... ok I myself am about to purchase as a first time buyer with my wife, but Im putting myname down only on the house beings how if I die its not like she wouldnt get it anyway, and Im the sole source of income for the all finacial issues, but takeing out small loans with her name and building her credit will come in handy if myne goes to sh*t now I can use her as a backup. But I dont see that happening my credits pretty goood and I have a steady job. Anyway even tho im going solo on the house with my name if we split I would give it to her and my newborne well thats on the way. But best of luck to you

At this point there's no such thing as a steady job....

It's good your getting all this together upfront. It shows you care about your partner and are worried about that persons well being even if things in the relationship take a turn for the worst.

**higherdesire** · 05-01-2009, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

If i die he doesn't get anything because we aren't as equal as you straights

Set up an irrevocable living trust while you're at it. Rights of survivorship addressed.

**CptAmericaX** · 05-01-2009, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

If i die he doesn't get anything because we aren't as equal as you straights

Heterosexual is what I perfer straight is byass... K i cant spell and im kidding I dont really care, but there are states you can get married right and then its the same thing? But thats a whole other thread I dont want to bring up marriage if you and your partner are just now considering a house together. So maybe a will for that.... I duno just putting it out there.

**CptAmericaX** · 05-01-2009, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by stack_it

At this point there's no such thing as a steady job....

It's good your getting all this together upfront. It shows you care about your partner and are worried about that persons well being even if things in the relationship take a turn for the worst.

Comon now uncle sam takes great care of me.