Question for recovering addicts

[jfalco]

I've noticed in a bunch of posts that quite a few people on this board used to have drug problems. Do you think that aas use has any negative effects on your sobriety. If I'm being honest sticking myself with big needles tickles that same part of my brain that used to enjoy the ritual of sticking needles in my arm. I haven't touched dope in 5 years and I don't have any desire to, but a small part of me is unsure if doing aas constitutes some sort of relapse.

I'd really like to hear some toughts from other addicts who have some experience with this. I know some folks say aas helps to keep them sober. I can't really bring this up at an AA meeting (i don't go anymore anyway) because I know what they would say.

Thanks
Jeff

[illwillogical]

Well it seems that using gear would make you more prone for a relapse, but I guess that just depends on personalities. If you have made up your mind that you have no interest in the other drugs, I think you'll be fine.

[illwillogical]

BTW I am not a recovering addict, but I have a lot of friends that are. I have experimented but I always had the willpower to not make it a part of my life.

[warchild]

my feeling is why throw away what ive been working hard for in the gym, for some dope/drinking...but I still do party every now and again but the next week I feel so bad I remember why I don't.

[Phate]

I've noticed in a bunch of posts that quite a few people on this board used to have drug problems. Do you think that aas use has any negative effects on your sobriety. If I'm being honest sticking myself with big needles tickles that same part of my brain that used to enjoy the ritual of sticking needles in my arm. I haven't touched dope in 5 years and I don't have any desire to, but a small part of me is unsure if doing aas constitutes some sort of relapse.

I'd really like to hear some toughts from other addicts who have some experience with this. I know some folks say aas helps to keep them sober. I can't really bring this up at an AA meeting (i don't go anymore anyway) because I know what they would say.

Thanks
Jeff

well i've never done drugs and stopped drinking before i became an alcoholic(it runs in my family and i was really close to it, but just stopped cold-turkey several months ago and never looked back), but i would say it's not a relapse at all for a simple reason

drugs destroy lives, steroids (when used properly) help to give lives structure, order and discipline

think about it, the average person that doesn't do drugs or steroids has a shitty diet, goes to work, goes home, watches tv, goes to bars, drinks, sleeps, and cycles this over and over again

the drug addict sometimes doesn't even eat until forces too, doesn't have a good job, does nothing productive, and just shoots up(this is stereotypical but you get the point)

what do we(the guys on this forum) do? We are professionals, doctors, medical students, college students, entrepreneurs, blue collar, white collar, whatever...we encompass every niche in society and bring to the table more than the average in terms of our determination and discipline because that is how we choose to live our lives

i could go on and on live this for hours but let's suffice to say that the lifestyle we live is more structured than that of almost any other lifestyle and that in itself is proof that we aren't "addicts" or "users",

we are simply connoisseurs of the forbidden nector called steroids and i see nothing wrong with that

[jfalco]

thanks for the responses guys.

not really what I am asking. As I said I have no desire to get high. What I am asking is how other adicts feel about whether or not aas use counts as a relapse.

also curious how others with addictive personalities cope with aas addiction?

[warchild]

very good point phate!

[warchild]

thanks for the responses guys.

not really what I am asking. As I said I have no desire to get high. What I am asking is how other adicts feel about whether or not aas use counts as a relapse.

also curious how others with addictive personalities cope with aas addiction?

my feeling is if you already have an addictive personality, then you should think twice about it. The addiction with steroids comes from getting off and not having that feeling and losing weight and strength.

[jfalco]

well i've never done drugs and stopped drinking before i became an alcoholic(it runs in my family and i was really close to it, but just stopped cold-turkey several months ago and never looked back), but i would say it's not a relapse at all for a simple reason

drugs destroy lives, steroids (when used properly) help to give lives structure, order and discipline

think about it, the average person that doesn't do drugs or steroids has a shitty diet, goes to work, goes home, watches tv, goes to bars, drinks, sleeps, and cycles this over and over again

the drug addict sometimes doesn't even eat until forces too, doesn't have a good job, does nothing productive, and just shoots up(this is stereotypical but you get the point)

what do we(the guys on this forum) do? We are professionals, doctors, medical students, college students, entrepreneurs, blue collar, white collar, whatever...we encompass every niche in society and bring to the table more than the average in terms of our determination and discipline because that is how we choose to live our lives

i could go on and on live this for hours but let's suffice to say that the lifestyle we live is more structured than that of almost any other lifestyle and that in itself is proof that we aren't "addicts" or "users",

we are simply connoisseurs of the forbidden nector called steroids and i see nothing wrong with that

thanks man. this is what I was looking for.

drug addicts live their lives with a certain kind of discipline too. Only it is disciplin to the drug. you wouldn't believe the amount of money they manage to come up with and the creative ways they do it just to get what they need. that's why a lot of addicts enjoy this sort of lifestyle. we need to be obsessive about something.

[CBGB]

Interesting. This has been on my mind a lot lately. I am a friend of Bill W. also.
For me, I don't think it would constitute a relapse. My concern would be the ability to use in moderation. Our minds find something that it likes and craves more, more, more. Drugs, alcohol, women, THE GYM. So my question before begining is can we stop? Is it possible to do it without doing it in excess? If you are not positive, don't start. If you are positive, be prepared to not be able to stop. We need a back-up plan.

[Iron_Pig]

I feel you can get hooked on AAS, I have to be bigger or stronger it happens like phate said it depends on the person using. I see it all the time.

[Phate]

thanks man. this is what I was looking for.

drug addicts live their lives with a certain kind of discipline too. Only it is disciplin to the drug. you wouldn't believe the amount of money they manage to come up with and the creative ways the do it just to get what they need. that's why a lot of addicts enjoy this sort of lifestyle. we need to be obsessive about something.

that i completely agree with, i've seen it first hand, people attacking loved ones for pocket change

and i especially agree about the obsessive part, i'm exactly this way, i love stress and pressure, like right now i have finals week, lab practicals, music juries, cardio 8-10x a week, lifting 5x a week, taking care of my little brother, planning my mom's mother's day.....i could go on forever

and i love it, it keeps me busy and moving

[warchild]

i hate pressure and stress. i guess i enjoy my laid back lifestyle. work, gym and having fun.

[CBGB]

we need to be obsessive about something.

True. Structure and stress keeps me sane

[Gappa]

I am in recovery. I had issues with everything! I did it kinda just trying stuff here and there but it never got in the way of my bodybuilding. I think BBing was always my one firm grasp, it held me from ever going over the edge. I had an od and almost died and have been totally sober ever since. After you reach a certain point you will see it becomes no fun at all. I used to dip tobacco too.. gave it up at the same time.
If you know you are an addict you must understand what your triggers are.
I am in AA/NA too. The AS that I take are all by dr supervision. I believe if you are not getting "high" you are fine.
Once you cross that line and get high you activate the pleasure/reward system and by doing so will trigger a relapse.

[jfalco]

I'm not really worried about using excessive amounts. More worried that I will be doing a couple of cycles a year for the rest of my life even though I told myself that the cycle I just started will be the only one I do.

CBGB, you know as well as I do that there are many people at meetings that would say most of the guys on this board are addicts.

[warchild]

there is never just one cycle

[Gappa]

you would be surprised how many bbers get drunk/high.

[Gappa]

yes J steriods carry a very bad stigma with their use

[jfalco]

nothing surprises me....

[warchild]

you would be surprised how many bbers get drunk/high.

is it just bbers? or is it people from all walks of life?

[Gappa]

well war people look at these superfit guys and think they are jesus..lol
I have had people say to me at nightclubs, you are so fit why would you do such a thing as I did whatever was on the menu that night..lol

[CBGB]

I'm not really worried about using excessive amounts. More worried that I will be doing a couple of cycles a year for the rest of my life even though I told myself that the cycle I just started will be the only one I do.

CBGB, you know as well as I do that there are many people at meetings that would say most of the guys on this board are addicts.

Without a doubt.

I have not had the opportunity to cycle and I am considered an addict by some of my pears. I have replaced one addiction with another. This just happens to be a healthy addiction.

[warchild]

i can see that, my juice friends are mostly ex friends now cus they do anything on the table, but i have some who stay clean also.

[CptAmericaX]

Im ex user, and yah maybe AAS are just a replacement but when you look at the big picture do drugs that destroy your body, or use a performance enhancer (Drugs) to the rest of the uneducated world of aas and make yourself better.... win win situation

[Gappa]

You must look at AS as a tool. You are using exogenous substances that naturally occur in the body. I would never have been able to attain the levels of fitness that I have been to without using them. Still they must be respected.

[jfalco]

I like the way you think cptamerica

[warchild]

i have seen what drugs/alcohol do and it sucks. i dont even know why i still party??

[Gappa]

war thatz the catch!!!

[mho]

thanks for the responses guys.

not really what I am asking. As I said I have no desire to get high. What I am asking is how other adicts feel about whether or not aas use counts as a relapse.

also curious how others with addictive personalities cope with aas addiction?

Not in a million years would I ever equate steroid use to a relapse. I used to use an illegal substance that resembles rock salt HEAVILY, and I would say building your body is one of the best forms of sobriety out there. I went to rehab, AA, NA and all that other shit, and from what I gathered a relapse is you going back to what you used to do. Just because you begin using another substance doesn't mean you're relapsed. Just like when you go to AA meetings and there's 300 people outside smoking, they're not relapsed, but they kept a habit in place of another one.

Ingesting said substance is not worth throwing away all the time I've spent busting my ass in the gym and in the kitchen.

I don't know if I can say that stuff on these forums

EDIT: took out drug name and act of doing drug

[Gappa]

anyone ever done ++++ here? b honest.. shit SUCKS don't it??

[jfalco]

******** are fvckin awesome, but it's not worth throwing away all the time I've spent busting my ass in the gym and in the kitchen.

I laughed my ass off when I read this.

[jfalco]

anyone ever done ***** here? b honest.. shit SUCKS don't it??

let's not turn this into a war stories session. we're pushing the limits of the rules just with the topic. we're not really supposed to talk about rec drug use.

[CBGB]

anyone ever done #### here? b honest.. shit SUCKS don't it??

Yes, done most things. Only liked one thing.

(you might edit that word)

[Bojangles69]

I've noticed in a bunch of posts that quite a few people on this board used to have drug problems. Do you think that aas use has any negative effects on your sobriety. If I'm being honest sticking myself with big needles tickles that same part of my brain that used to enjoy the ritual of sticking needles in my arm. I haven't touched dope in 5 years and I don't have any desire to, but a small part of me is unsure if doing aas constitutes some sort of relapse.

I'd really like to hear some toughts from other addicts who have some experience with this. I know some folks say aas helps to keep them sober. I can't really bring this up at an AA meeting (i don't go anymore anyway) because I know what they would say.

Thanks
Jeff

Yeh Jeff I hear you loud and clear.

Between the ages of 16-21 I had a deadly habit with speed and x (both of which I was producing in a lab)
Because I had unlimitied supplies I used so much that even now when I'm 26 I still have issues with my heart and the anxiety I can say has literally just began to level out like a year ago.

I did court mandated na, and prison mandated na (got busted for the lab/maintaining and operating a CDS production facility) and 2 rehabs, one in patient one out patient plus a 10 day stay in a detox/psych ward.

I stopped going to NA like 3 years ago because I believe it can create addicts the same exact way it can push active use into dormancy. On my own I relapsed several times, but rather then going to meetings again somehow I have managed to reach a point in my life where YES I am scared of drugs, but after a while they screw your life up so much that the logic of a nonaddict begins creeping into your mind.

Which is why I 100% disagree with the NA statement "once an addict always an addict".
Not to mention my hangup with all the steps, starting with #1.

If an addict chants to himself during meetings and in his head during the day "i am powerless over drugs and alcohol" over years then can create an identity that truely **IS** or believes it is powerless over drugs.

If you really aren't powerless to begin, then you can see how certain elements of NA can make you actually think more like an addict, which rationally should not be the goal.

As far as steroids I say absolutely not they don't apply, drug or w/e you call them people DO NOT take them for instant gratification, it still takes time, effort, patience and persitence for the payoff, unlike conventional street drugs.
Matter a fact, when I first started posting here fresh out of rehabs and prison, I would always see a certain member with the signature "steroids are my anti-drug" and in a crazy way that has become true for me over the years.

Its not just about steroids, its about a lifestyle directed towards health.
Its hard in your position cause in NA its near impossible to avoid that false social stigma many people cast over steroids.

And today its pretty cool cause I can go out every once and a while and get drunk but on monday its right back to the gym/diet/supplement or if Im on cycle that too. (which I wont be drinking on anyway)

But honestly the way religion can quell or calm an addiction steroids can too imo. Plus is the undeniable fact that a person with an addictive personality is about 1000 times better off in the gym then a person w/out one, cause they can do cardio for 3 hours straight and actually enjoy it lol

[jfalco]

Lucky on that one. I liked most of them.

CBGB, you ever been to the club with the same name as you?

[CBGB]

I really appreciate that this has been brought up. This was my final question to myself before jumping on the wagon. Great ideas, keep 'em comming.

[T-MOS]

I haven't read all the posts in here YET, but PLEASE keep in mind that there is NO REC DRUG TALK ALLOWED on this board.......so please make no mention of specifics....


so the posts that mention drugs, PLEASE edit so this thread can stay open
THANK YOU

[Gappa]

meee too good thread

[CBGB]

Lucky on that one. I liked most of them.

CBGB, you ever been to the club with the same name as you?

Never been to New York. I am an audiophile who sometimes has to watch the scene from a distance. The name also has a lot in common with my name.