The First thing I want to say even though I already said nothing against him is apology to Phate... I never said he was not a good dude and still feel he is a good dude. I was out of line even using him as an example and I apologize! He had nothing to do with any of this and should not have been brought in!
No one needs to comment on this post! I am apologizing! I had a very very bad day yesterday! I was poffline for an hour going through some personal shit and was already half snapped, then I come bak on to a PM that said I was being Demoted! Just set me off in the worst way! If any of you knew me personally you would know that how others view me and how I do by others is very very important to me! To feel I was not able to do a good job for the people here was like a kick in the face for me and to be honest hurt!!
I am not going to air everything but in some ways this board was all I had keeping me sane! Just found out a few months ago I have some mental issues developing just like previus members of my family! So I am stirred about that.. as most of you dont know I have had about the worst last 4 years a person could have..
Lost my Fiancee of 13 years to a car accident
Lost my 8yr old Mastiff to a rare form of Cancer
Lost my Cat to a speeding Car
Lost my $300,000 house because without the exra income from my fiancee, I could not pay for it!
Lost my 2005 brand new 2500HD Diesel Truck
Lost my 2004 Limited Edition Monte Carlo SS
Lost my Z-28 Race Car
Had to sell all my assets to pay for the fu neral cause of no insurance...
Moved to Vegas to get away and then found out my mom is terminal and also has Rhuemtoid Arthritis
Lost My Grandmother
Lost My GrandFather
Lost My Aunt
Doct Says I am slowly Loosing My mind
As I said I have had a pretty rough go and helping people here was a way for me to "give back" and then to be told that I was not any help made feel even worse cause so one even bothered to tell me so I could fix the problem!
It was childish and out of line for me to go off on here but this is one of the symptoms of my condition and is slowly getting progressivley worse as time goes on! Most of the comments I left last night and the dumb comments on those posts I did not even realized i left them until after! I am going to fix those and as I said.. this is not really an excuse but I guess it is... This is what is going to continue to happen and will end up to the point where I will need constant supervision!! it is honestly a little scry and have not spoke about it until now! I hope you 8nderstand this is really not the type of thing that you really want to speak openly about to No Disrespet.. complete strangers! I hope no one takes offense by that but we must all agree we are strangers we could all pass each other tomorrow and 99% of us would never even know it! I felt you guys deserved to know so i told you! i am not giving out any more info On my issues/Conditions than that so please do not ask! This is why I said I was going to step away for a while! It is getting hard for me to be civilized when I get flamed or someone ets on me! this is why I do not leave my house or go out to bars and can no longer work as a security gurd at clubs etc. etc.. ! I also have my New GF actually go with me to the gym just to make sure... Sorry that this is the way it is but there is not much I can do about it!! take care all! and please know as i said it really was not me!