Question: Being With A Younger Girl

**Terinox** · 01-07-2003, 10:46 PM

Sup ya'll,

Alright, well, I met a girl through a relative, and we've been chatting online for 7 months now. We met a couple times in person too. Now, the thing to keep in mind is that we are ONLY friends at the current moment. We've talked and decided recently that it would be a good idea to get to know each other even better in person.

The only thing is, she is 4 years younger then me. I am 20, and she is 16. Now like I said, currently we are only friends, so would it seem "weird" or "inappropriate" to hang out (just as friends)???

Another question is, what if somehow we do hit it off, and our friendship becomes really strong and perhaps decide to take the relationship to the next level. Is that age gap too far apart? I must mention that she is very mature for her age, VERY. And so far, online we've gotten together VERY well, and pretty much keep NOTHING from each other (no matter how personal).

Plz I need some advice, we are planning on doing something together this Saturday.

Let me know,
Thnx

P.S; By the way, what kind of things are good to do, going out as friends, something fun, but not lame (I still wanna make a fairly good impression on her).

**Eddie** · 01-07-2003, 10:56 PM

sup bro well coming from a player these are some good words of advice.. well she is pretty young i look at it as if im dating my sister becuase i am 20 and she is 16 and could not see me dating someone her age i dont know what they could actually offer to you or its just too big of a gap she still to immature and plus u dont wanna get caught having sex with her cuz it could be rape or something like that well.. well i wouldn date her but i guess go with ur feelings

**EXCESS** · 01-08-2003, 12:47 AM

As friends, I don't see anything wrong with it. You might raise some eyebrows, and her parents might worry about it, but it seems that your intentions are fine.

If you decide to move to the next level, I wouldn't know what to say. I'm not opposed, but I can't really give you any reasons why I feel that way. I think its all about the way you handle it. If I had a sixteen year old daughter, I'd worry if she was dating a 20 year old guy. I'd feel a hell of a lot better if I knew you were a respectable mature guy, rather than a guy trying to get lucky with a minor.

Do something in public...preferably in the daylight. You don't want to put yourself in a situation where you'll move too fast. Go shopping and have lunch or something like that. You can be yourself and there's less pressure that way.

Good luck!

**clockworks** · 01-08-2003, 04:31 AM

this is just my opinion...

the age gap is too much now, but it won't be in 4 years...=)

i'm 22 and my sister's friends are 19 and even that is way too much for me. i went out on a date with an 18 year old once. its like we're from completely different worlds. i talk about what i'm learning in my classes, my work, my extracirricular activities (like working out and programs i'm writing)...she talks about the silly drama going on in her circle of friends.

i guess this is all besides the point. i'm supposing yall are on the same level intellectually and emotionally (maturity i mean). so you're asking if it would be weird? in my experience yes! i'd be embarrassed being with someone in their teens still. infact, i caught some flack from my friends by bringing home an 18 year old for a slump buster...=P

again, this is only my opinion, to each his own, you can disregard everything i'm saying. in fact, i'm so lonely and depressed right now about my love life, i'd date a middle schooler if it was legal! haha, just kidding...

-- clocky baby

**Butch** · 01-08-2003, 09:09 AM

I tiotally agree with Colcky....now it seems odd...but if it were 4 years from now then it would be justifiable....it's weird how we feel that at the age you are now and date a girl that is 16...it lookedas too young...however, if that girl were to be twenty and you being 24 then society would not think twice about it....

JMO...don't do it bro...wait till you both get older....

**KeyMastur** · 01-08-2003, 09:21 AM

dude, just follow your dick........i mean, er, your heart.

for me dating a younger (or bein the pimp i am, the older) women - it is all about how mature they are. like clockbaby said, they sit there and discuss all the drama goin on and gossip that's new. that's gonna get old quick just because of the fact that you've been there, and now you realize (or at least you should) how stupid it was back then.

plus that whole 16 year old thing - they can't get into clubs, you'll be 21 and wantin to head to a bar, she'll still have curfew, etc...

**jarrett** · 01-08-2003, 09:23 AM

BRO dont do it .. wait till she at least graduates from HS. at the minimum. clockwork is right she's still in a differnt maturing stage than you are.. just as you have much different goals from her now.

On the other hand i've scene Butch going to MCdonalds to hit on the kids in the playground

**woodsy169** · 01-08-2003, 09:55 AM

Yeah wait until she is 18 at least before you start dating...friends right now is all it should be. My girlfriend is much younger than me, I am 30 and she is 19...but, she has a child and is very mature for her age. I wouldn't think you would have much in common with a 16 year old...Meet her and keep it as friends...

**tatty** · 01-08-2003, 10:06 AM

I say don't bother as well. You two would definitely be on different levels, despite possibly being mature for her age. It's best just to be friends, but even so her parents might think twice about that.

**Big Rush** · 01-08-2003, 11:21 AM

I don't know the laws in Canada, but in the US if you banged her you could serve time. I'm 23 and my g/f is 19, but she is very mature for her age. I would at least wait until she is 17 bro.

**H BOMB** · 01-08-2003, 11:33 AM

do you really want to pick her up at high school. just my op . your heart is gonna do what it wants to

**Butch** · 01-08-2003, 11:47 AM

Originally posted by jarrett
BRO dont do it .. wait till she at least graduates from HS. at the minimum. clockwork is right she's still in a differnt maturing stage than you are.. just as you have much different goals from her now.

On the other hand i've scene Butch going to MCdonalds to hit on the kids in the playground

HeJarett I am just scouting them for when they get to be the prime age of 21...you on ther other hand have a problem walking around the state fair with out getting a hard on everytime you hear a pig sqeal....

**durbin22** · 01-08-2003, 01:31 PM

I think being friends is okay but I wouldn't get involved. Just say you end up having sex with her and her parents find out. Her parents could say you raped her and you would be screwed. Do what you want but realize what the consequences could be for your actions.

**Terinox** · 01-08-2003, 01:46 PM

Thank you all very much for your advice, I truly appreciate it. You all make very good points, and thnx for giving some examples, etc...

I do see your point, and it has been on my mind for many months (while we would chat, and still do). So, I will take your advice, and for now, we will just be friends (which is actually what we are). I mean hell, i'm not even sure if she would want to take it to the "next" level. But, as friends, we'll see how we get along and all that.

Just another thing to add, sex with her is the LAST thing on my mind. If anything, it would just be a relationship in the SIMPLEST FORM. As in calling each other bf/gf and just basically going out to places more often. Kinda just like VERY close and good friends.

But like I said, for now, friends is all we are, and i'll take ya'll advice and keep it that way for as long as I can

Thnx again guys,
T.

**jarrett** · 01-08-2003, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by Butch

HeJarett I am just scouting them for when they get to be the prime age of 21...you on ther other hand have a problem walking around the state fair with out getting a hard on everytime you hear a pig sqeal....

hey whats wrong with that, its better than going to jail for hooking up with 16 year old chicks and hell theres nuthing wrong with walking around any fair checking out any potential squealers, you on the other hand prefer dog pounds and Mcdonalds for your potential hook ups! lol haha

**Full Intensity** · 01-08-2003, 03:26 PM

Bro you're walking a thin line ... once you cross the line from just friends to more then friends it is VERY let me stress VERY hard to go back if anything happens. The age gap just seems big now, but shit once you're 28, dating a 24 year old thats no biggie. Just let things take their natural course. Try going to a movie or sumthing, tell her u didn't want to go alone and enjoy her company

**abstrack** · 01-08-2003, 04:09 PM

when she going to be 17???
that seems alittle bit better, 16 is abit young I would say
it is only 4 years but you might be safer wating till 17, keep her on the ropes bro!!! keep dangling the carrots in front of her face!!

**Iron horse** · 01-08-2003, 05:00 PM

My girlfriend is still in highschool and 2 years younger.

We are different people, in different worlds, but that doesnt effect us.

- I would talk about work/higher education/career
- she would talk about school life - girls that are bitchs, and who's doing who.

that doesnt matter to us because when together we have a blast.

its upto you, WE dont know how compatible the two of you are.

**sp9** · 01-08-2003, 05:21 PM

I did it. The girl was extremely beautiful and she picked me up very agressively. Funny thing was she knew how old I was, I didn't know how old she was until later. Another funny thing is she sent her mom into my place of employment (retail store) to check me out. I noticed this older lady staring at me and hanging around the store forever. She didn't introduce herself and I didn't realize it was her mom until I went to pick her daughter up on a date and she answered the door. I have to admit it was awkward when I found out she was so young (but flawless). I think that is why our relationship only lasted a little while, I would not have sex with her after I found out how old she was and she got frustrated that I would not get involved sexually. Weird also was that her mom would let her stay out later as long as she was with me. Strange. I wouldn't let my 16 year old daughter near a 20 year old guy. It's nice now becuase it is 12 years later and she is married but we are friendly and she is always making nice comments about me to people. I guess now she respects that I didn't take advantage of the situation. Good luck.

Was dating a 21 year old last month. Only one thing in common and it isn't my age, I am 32. You know that you can't be in a real relationship becuase they are in a totally different world than you, I can't keep up with the constant partying any more. haha.

**Commando_Barbi** · 01-08-2003, 05:37 PM

From a mom ---- if it were my daughter (I have a 14 yo that looks 17 at least).....all I can say is.. I own a 9mm and I'm NOT afraid to use it.

Being around a LOT of teenage girls (IM IN HELL) you are playing with fire. You may think you can control it.....but they get their own ideas. So...you are cool with being "friends" for now. For how long? You are a red blooded man....how long do you ignore your "needs"? Then what? So you need to get laid......so you gonna sleep with this 16 yo? So you find someone else to take are of those "needs".....what happens if she finds out? They are emotional creatures at that age.

Anyway, I think you are on a thin line here......playing with fire.

And for the record....I feel the same way about age even if the gender's were reversed. My daughter has a friend that is 15 and he has a 20 yo gf. WTF does a 20 yo woman see in a 15 yo boy. She's gotten pregnant at least twice by him....and had abortions both times. It's just sad.

C.B.

**Butch** · 01-08-2003, 05:57 PM

Originally posted by jarrett

hey whats wrong with that, its better than going to jail for hooking up with 16 year old chicks and hell theres nuthing wrong with walking around any fair checking out any potential squealers, you on the other hand prefer dog pounds and Mcdonalds for your potential hook ups! lol haha

What's wrong with it...well I left the part out that if you can't find the sqealing pig you compromise by having sexual realtions with the goats in the petting zoo....bah, bah, bah....then if that doesn't work you try and enter your "member" in the ring toss game....you get off to the attention of people trying to throw rings on you itty bitty thing....

Aww, don't worry Jarrett...I'll buy you a Big Mac and let you pet my dog....

**jarrett** · 01-08-2003, 06:00 PM

lol i so can not compete with that last reply!

**Terinox** · 01-08-2003, 07:16 PM

Originally posted by Commando_Barbi
From a mom ---- if it were my daughter (I have a 14 yo that looks 17 at least).....all I can say is.. I own a 9mm and I'm NOT afraid to use it.

Being around a LOT of teenage girls (IM IN HELL) you are playing with fire. You may think you can control it.....but they get their own ideas. So...you are cool with being "friends" for now. For how long? You are a red blooded man....how long do you ignore your "needs"? Then what? So you need to get laid......so you gonna sleep with this 16 yo? So you find someone else to take are of those "needs".....what happens if she finds out? They are emotional creatures at that age.

Anyway, I think you are on a thin line here......playing with fire.

And for the record....I feel the same way about age even if the gender's were reversed. My daughter has a friend that is 15 and he has a 20 yo gf. WTF does a 20 yo woman see in a 15 yo boy. She's gotten pregnant at least twice by him....and had abortions both times. It's just sad.

C.B.

I see your point, and I can imagine what you mean. I wouldn't let my 16 year old daughter date someone older either. But, in terms of all that stuff you said, I must disagree.

1. I am 20 years old, and still a virgin, I'm not desperately looking to get "laid" nor is sex the #1 thing on my mind. I would rather have a proper and solid relationship with a girl then just fuck her. Maybe i'm just different, unlike other guys, I don't know. But that's the way I am.

2. She herself is a muslim, 100% There is no way she would ever do anything either, not until she was married (virginity that is) and us getting married is VERY slim. So as I said, even if our relationship did go to some kind of another level...it would be barelly anything. But it doesn't matter right now, for we are only friends.

Thnx again for all the replies and all the help people, truly appreciated

T.

**Commando_Barbi** · 01-08-2003, 07:51 PM

Well.....it's good to hear that you aren't ruled by your "other" brain. I guess the key is to keep in mind all the players and feelings and possible problems. You sound like a pretty well grounded young man. I think you will make good decisions.

C.B.

**tatty** · 01-08-2003, 11:08 PM

Originally posted by Commando_Barbi

And for the record....I feel the same way about age even if the gender's were reversed. My daughter has a friend that is 15 and he has a 20 yo gf. WTF does a 20 yo woman see in a 15 yo boy. She's gotten pregnant at least twice by him....and had abortions both times. It's just sad.

C.B.

That IS mind boggling. Sort of like the scandals between teachers and students in high schools that have surfaced a few times here in Vancouver...

**Butch** · 01-09-2003, 09:04 AM

Originally posted by jarrett
lol i so can not compete with that last reply!

...

**Cali** · 01-09-2003, 09:17 AM

I dated a 21 year old when I was 16. We got along great, but there were a lot of changes going on for both of us and we ended up breaking up because of them. We ran into each other about 5 years later and still had a lot to talk about, but I was dating someone and he was living a few hours away so nothing more came of it. It's not all bad, but being a mother now I'd flip if it were my child.

**juicehoe** · 01-09-2003, 10:00 AM

IMO i think the worlds are way to differnt from a 16year old and a 20year old. Your thinking (or should be thinking along the lines) about college or a career. Have other interests. Like someone else said... Do you really want to pick her up from HS? Have her in way early on school nights (if she can even go out on school nights) and maybe 12am on weekends. Fact is she is in HS and you been done with it for years. I think thats a major problem. But I dont know what you two are like or anything else. I say dont touch her with a 10foot pole. Even friends sounds weird. What happens when you get really close? I say hit the road and dont look back. I know its hard to find someone with what your looking for. But stop trying so hard

**superbeast** · 01-09-2003, 11:17 AM

Old enough to crawl, then they are in the right positon! Oops, did I say that out loud?

**clockworks** · 01-09-2003, 02:37 PM

Originally posted by superbeast
Old enough to crawl, then they are in the right positon! Oops, did I say that out loud?

if they're old enough to pee, they're old enough for me!

**sp9** · 01-09-2003, 03:17 PM

grass on the infield then play ball!

**RageControl** · 01-09-2003, 08:44 PM

Old enough for playtex old enough for latex!

When i was 20 i started dating a 17 year old girl now im 22 and we are still together. She was very mature for her age but sometimes it does shine threw so be careful man .

**wrstlr69sdnl** · 01-09-2003, 09:01 PM

My brother almost got caught up in that stuff but got out of it he was lucky he almost got the police called on him just be carefull she could get mad one day and tell her parents that you did something if you breakup with here if you ever take it to the next leval but good luck bro

**BIG-G** · 01-10-2003, 02:04 AM

IM GONNA MAKE THIS SHORT AND SWEET..........I was 23 with a 17 yr old g-friend, SHE WAS SOOOOOOO HOT!!! Met her mother and her mother loved me, they hung at my house often and vise versa!! Now im 25 and i met a 16 yr old thru family, we kno theres no relationship at that stretch of age but there was a bit of kinky-kinky and it was awesome!!! JUST FOR THE RECORD, NO SEX WITH EITHER OF THEM! (dam laws)

**nj_** · 01-10-2003, 03:41 AM

It is legal in Canada for you to have sex with her if you do. I believe if you were 21 or over then the problems begin. At 20 it is still legit as far as I can recall. I know you said you aren't interested in having sex with her etc. etc. but at least you know you won't go to jail for it if you do. As far as I'm concerned age is just a number, I dated a 31 year old when I was 18 and I have no regrets about it. I still am friends with her and we keep in touch occasionally. I do the opposite of you, I refuse to date anyone younger than myself. Just my 2cc.

**Terinox** · 01-10-2003, 05:57 AM

Thanks again to everyone who replied. Tons of information and tons of examples. I really appreciate all the help

Thnx again,
T.

P.S; Like I said before though, I have no idea what will happen between us, but, I will keep you all updated to what happens (if anything).

**123A** · 01-10-2003, 07:04 AM

"if both feet touch the floor when she sits on the toilet...."
SHIT, there are some sick expressions out there! (i'm just joking)

i have an 8 year old girl, and over the holidays we went to the coast, and 1 day she pipes up, "gosh, that guy is so hot!!!" he must of been about 18+, i couldn't beleive wat i heard, she said that with a barbie doll in the one hand?!?!

my advice would be keep it as friends, and don't rush anything, one of my best relationships was with a girl that was a friend for 2 years before we got involved, it was great, she moved but we still keep in contact

**StrongChick** · 01-10-2003, 06:14 PM

I am 21 dating someone who is in his mid 30's, and at first it seemed odd, but I am happy with what we have turned out to be.

You can't ask US if it is a good idea to date this girl. You have to ask yourself. Generally Women are a few years ahead of men, so If she has a head on her shoulders and seems to know what is up, don't push her away because of her age.
I HIGHLY advise taking legal precautions, and taking things slower than you would with an older chick.
I highly

**clockworks** · 01-11-2003, 02:14 AM

Originally posted by Commando_Barbi
From a mom ---- if it were my daughter (I have a 14 yo that looks 17 at least).....all I can say is.. I own a 9mm and I'm NOT afraid to use it.

i'm a good boy, i swear! i'm young too...22, but i look like i'm 18...=) can i date her? hehe, just kidding. although i quoted only a small part of your post for a joke, i just want to say that i totally agree with everything you've said in your complete post. especially the part about older women dating young guys. there is definantly something messed up there. which is messed up cuz i love older women...=)

-- clocky baby

**clockworks** · 01-11-2003, 02:22 AM

Originally posted by StrongChick Generally Women are a few years ahead of men

not in my case. i've seen (and experienced) case after case of immature party girls. i guess me and my guy friends (my guy friends and i) just have bad luck...all the stereotypes of the girls being good and guys being bad are all ass backwards.

btw, since i'm drunk...if thats you in your avatar...damn...=)

-- clocky baby

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