Help Me, help a friend

[Hard.On]

My best friend broke up with his girl friend mid December.
He told everyone that they were done, fuk her etc.

He has been seeing other girls. the whole time. Just got back from a trip to Mexico etc.

I just found out that Sunday night he drove to her house at 3 a.m. to see her and she told him to leave or she was going to call the police.
Apperently this shit has been going on for some time.

I know he loved her but they are not going to get back together ever and he is becoming a stalker.

hes a good guy I guess this one just messed him up. I have spoken with him about the subject of them breaking up many times and he never gave any indication that he still wanted to be with her and even less that he has been calling her 20 times a day, emailing her, leaving rude messages, stalking her etc.


What the fuk do I do, I am now starting to worry about him.
Obviously I really dont get what hes going through(even though I have had bad break ups before)



also what kills me is that this guy is a chick magnet and his ex is an ugly fat italian. Every single girl wants his dick at all times.

[MaNiCC]

Obviously somebody is going to have to get a grip on him, it does seem as if he has been affected psychologically, with him sending rude messages this indicates he could be stressed which could be manifested physically.

i would advise taking him to a doctor, if your his best friend and didnt notice something was wrong i would suggest a psychological assessment

[Mooseman33]

find a new friend.

never new u and Ruhl hung out.....

[Hard.On]

Obviously somebody is going to have to get a grip on him, it does seem as if he has been affected psychologically, with him sending rude messages this indicates he could be stressed which could be manifested physically.

i would advise taking him to a doctor, if your his best friend and didnt notice something was wrong i would suggest a psychological assessment

Wow,
That sounds pretty deep,
I would not know where to even begin with that.

I did notice something was a little off, but didnt know it was this bad.


Theres gotta be a couple other things that I could try first..... I hope

[Hard.On]

find a new friend.

never new u and Ruhl hung out.....

Ive known him for 24 years,
I can't turn my back on someone like that.

Turning a blind eye and a deaf ear in this situation is what I would expect from a weakling who has no spine.

[calgarian]

I would actually talk to him . First make him admit that he still love her. Then make him realize that he broke up with her. This kind of thing make ppl stress and they dont realize it Stress can make u do things u wont do under normal circumstances. then take him to his regular doctor and tell him the story he will give him an anti depressant and that should do it. Make sure he doesnt go and get into bad habits like drugs and other shit.

[Hard.On]

I would actually talk to him . First make him admit that he still love her. Then make him realize that he broke up with her. This kind of thing make ppl stress and they dont realize it Stress can make u do things u wont do under normal circumstances. then take him to his regular doctor and tell him the story he will give him an anti depressant and that should do it. Make sure he doesnt go and get into bad habits like drugs and other shit.

How long would he need to stay on Anti D's?

[crazycoolguy007]

If you truly car about ur buddy you will get him wasted as often as possible. Thursday thru Sunday hit up all the clubs, bars, and nudie bars. The rest of the week he needs to b working out like a beast. It's what helps me!

[MaNiCC]

How long would he need to stay on Anti D's?

I can say that myself and other friends on the board have had similar problems as your friend. im currently on anti depressants and they are helping control my condition. if they do the correct job the timescale is irrelevant, however the timescale varies for each individual

[Hard.On]

If you truly car about ur buddy you will get him wasted as often as possible. Thursday thru Sunday hit up all the clubs, bars, and nudie bars. The rest of the week he needs to b working out like a beast. It's what helps me!

Terrible

[calgarian]

How long would he need to stay on Anti D's?

thats the question for his doctor

[MaNiCC]

If you truly car about ur buddy you will get him wasted as often as possible. Thursday thru Sunday hit up all the clubs, bars, and nudie bars. The rest of the week he needs to b working out like a beast. It's what helps me!

He never stated that his friends also works out. also when somebody is showing irratic behavior that you would not normally associate with them is it really the time to introduce alcohol? go figure

[crazycoolguy007]

I also totally disagree with him taking anti d's over this. To some extent his pain is normal he just needs to learn to deal with it better. I don't think people should run to the doctor for a magic pill every time their life changes a bit. Pain is part of being a man and he don't need a pill. IMO

[Hard.On]

I can say that myself and other friends on the board have had similar problems as your friend. im currently on anti depressants and they are helping control my condition. if they do the correct job the timescale is irrelevant, however the timescale varies for each individual

Its just strange because, in our circle of friends it not like one of us to get like this. I just hope we can work something out /with out medication. Its not that I agree or disagree with medication, its just ..

[Mooseman33]

Ive known him for 24 years,
I can't turn my back on someone like that.

Turning a blind eye and a deaf ear in this situation is what I would expect from a weakling who has no spine.

some people change, it is what it is.

u have to know when cut ties or u will risk them taking u down...

as a freind u can only do so much if ur friend is going crazy, and with what u said, he is crazy.

does he use drugs?
has he used drugs?

[crazycoolguy007]

Obviously my coping method wasn't very popular in this thread. But how about him getting a new hobby. Go mountain biking with ur buddy or something. The point is he need to fill in the extra time he has now that he lost his gf. It's at the moments when he is alone and his mind is wondering he will have the urge to call and "stalk" her. Seriously just keep ur buddy bz.

[Hard.On]

some people change, it is what it is.

u have to know when cut ties or u will risk them taking u down...

as a freind u can only do so much if ur friend is going crazy, and with what u said, he is crazy.

does he use drugs?
has he used drugs?

Smokes weed on occasion,
Never done anything harsher then that

I just think this b!tch, fuked him up

[MaNiCC]

I also totally disagree with him taking anti d's over this. To some extent his pain is normal he just needs to learn to deal with it better. I don't think people should run to the doctor for a magic pill every time their life changes a bit. Pain is part of being a man and he don't need a pill. IMO

Firstly medication are not magic pills but they help. secondly would you say that drinking excessivly is dealing with A MANS pain because i wouldnt, just another psychological crutch like rec drugs

[Hard.On]

I also totally disagree with him taking anti d's over this. To some extent his pain is normal he just needs to learn to deal with it better. I don't think people should run to the doctor for a magic pill every time their life changes a bit. Pain is part of being a man and he don't need a pill. IMO

Thats kinda how im feeling,

but like I said,
I dont think I really understand whats going on in his head

[MaNiCC]

Obviously my coping method wasn't very popular in this thread. But how about him getting a new hobby. Go mountain biking with ur buddy or something. The point is he need to fill in the extra time he has now that he lost his gf. It's at the moments when he is alone and his mind is wondering he will have the urge to call and "stalk" her. Seriously just keep ur buddy bz.

i maybe jumped the gun a little and you are obviously just trying to help, this second bit of advice i agree with. in some shape or form he does need distracting from this problem, its clear that she is very much in his head

[MaNiCC]

Thats kinda how im feeling,

but like I said,
I dont think I really understand whats going on in his head

Perhaps you should find somebody who can. we are just offering our opinions on what could possibly help. one thing i will say though is this issue does need addressing, leaving the problem alone will only leave it to grow.

[crazycoolguy007]

Firstly medication are not magic pills but they help. secondly would you say that drinking excessivly is dealing with A MANS pain because i wouldnt, just another psychological crutch like rec drugs

I said drinking but I meant partying. Just something that would keep him preoccupied from the thoughts of the ex. It could be something different like helping the homeless. Watever he gets joy out of. I do strongly disagree in drinking just to drown the pain. I still think that unless he had some depression issues b4 anything happened he shouldNt go on anti d's.

[Hard.On]

Obviously my coping method wasn't very popular in this thread. But how about him getting a new hobby. Go mountain biking with ur buddy or something. The point is he need to fill in the extra time he has now that he lost his gf. It's at the moments when he is alone and his mind is wondering he will have the urge to call and "stalk" her. Seriously just keep ur buddy bz.

Heres the fuked up thing though,
I spent Friday, all of sat with him and 80% of sunday with him.

We went clubbing, Golfing, Picked up some chicks, almost fuked them but my drunk friend threw one of their shoes on the roof of a grocery store(so we werent fuking them)

And then he dropped me off at my house Sunday at 2 a.m.
Then Drove to her house for 3 a.m. where she told him to screw off already or she is going to call the cops

[calgarian]

Perhaps you should find somebody who can. we are just offering our opinions on what could possibly help. one thing i will say though is this issue does need addressing, leaving the problem alone will only leave it to grow.

x2....... take him to the freaking doctor.....

[Hard.On]

Perhaps you should find somebody who can. we are just offering our opinions on what could possibly help. one thing i will say though is this issue does need addressing, leaving the problem alone will only leave it to grow.

I know this,
I have talked to all my friends about it,
they laugh at the situation,
but really we all know theres something wrong. Just we dont know how to fix it. And laughing is a way for them to avoid it.

I have no one left to turn to. I dont want to tell his family because I wouldnt want mine to know if I were like this.

[jccnewbie]

My sisters ex has ben doing this crap to her for a year. She has a restraining order and they are going to court today about all his violations. I have zero respect for this guy.... MOVE ON

[Hard.On]

My sisters ex has ben doing this crap to her for a year. She has a restraining order and they are going to court today about all his violations. I have zero respect for this guy.... MOVE ON

So I should not attempt to help him so Maybe one night he snaps and does something awful to your sister.

That would be great wouldnt it?

[crazycoolguy007]

How about an intervention type thing? Maybe that'll snap him back into reality. Some people just never learned to handle rejection. Maybe ur buddy doesn't even miss the ex he just can't stand the fact that she did want him.

[Mooseman33]

he is a man, and u cant change a man if he is doing what he wants. ur friend is a fvking nut job, u need to talk with him about this.

if that doesnt work, wash ur hands and find a new friend...

some people just snap and are never the same....its tough to accept but thats part of growing up....

[MaNiCC]

I know this,
I have talked to all my friends about it,
they laugh at the situation,
but really we all know theres something wrong. Just we dont know how to fix it. And laughing is a way for them to avoid it.

I have no one left to turn to. I dont want to tell his family because I wouldnt want mine to know if I were like this.

Bro you got to do something before it escalates, dont put all the weight on your shoulders either get the guy help or walk away. if your really the guys friend though u know what you got to do. you tried babysitting his ass and doing fun stuff together and that obv didnt help.

[zimmy]

Don't get involved. Downgrade the friend to "aquaintance" status. Sounds like young drama :P

[Kratos]

you can't help him, plain and simple

every second he's not with you guys, he's thinking about her regardless of what he says when you talk to him.

when he's ready, he'll move on...break up's don't hit you until a month or two laterl so this is pretty typical...it will take him about 3 months from here to start trying to move on.
people in his situation almost push themselves further into the depression because the feeling is like a drug...I've been there a few times.

don't give him too hard a time about it
if he somehow gets her back, he'll no longer want her after a short period of time
if she continues not talking to him or making it difficult he's going to stay fixated on it until the high wears off and it isn't fun anymore

[calgarian]

you can't help him, plain and simple

every second he's not with you guys, he's thinking about her regardless of what he says when you talk to him.

when he's ready, he'll move on...break up's don't hit you until a month or two laterl so this is pretty typical...it will take him about 3 months from here to start trying to move on.
people in his situation almost push themselves further into the depression because the feeling is like a drug...I've been there a few times.

don't give him too hard a time about it
if he somehow gets her back, he'll no longer want her after a short period of time
if she continues not talking to him or making it difficult he's going to stay fixated on it until the high wears off and it isn't fun anymore

Great observation Kratos. But it takes me 2 hr to get over someone but then again its me and I am Canadian

All joke aside good post .

[Hard.On]

you can't help him, plain and simple

every second he's not with you guys, he's thinking about her regardless of what he says when you talk to him.

when he's ready, he'll move on...break up's don't hit you until a month or two laterl so this is pretty typical...it will take him about 3 months from here to start trying to move on.
people in his situation almost push themselves further into the depression because the feeling is like a drug...I've been there a few times.

don't give him too hard a time about it
if he somehow gets her back, he'll no longer want her after a short period of time
if she continues not talking to him or making it difficult he's going to stay fixated on it until the high wears off and it isn't fun anymore

I know ur right,


Girls are the only thing that are capable of doing this to a man. Everyone gets weak over them. My dad always said, "dont trust anything that bleeds for a month and doesnt die."

I dont give him a hard time, its just so out of character for him.

I just hate seeing him like this.

[marcus300]

Leave him to it, he wont listen anyway let him make his own mistakes then he will learn until then your wasting your time and effort, get on with your own life.

[calgarian]

I know ur right,


Girls are the only thing that are capable of doing this to a man. Everyone gets weak over them. My dad always said, "dont trust anything that bleeds for a month and doesnt die."

I dont give him a hard time, its just so out of character for him.

I just hate seeing him like this.

a month or 7 days?

[Hard.On]

a month or 7 days?

lol, its supposed to be bleeds for 7 days and doesnt die.
Trip out on my part

[MaNiCC]

a month or 7 days?

i think he ment 7 days in a month

[calgarian]

lol, its supposed to be bleeds for 7 days and doesnt die.
Trip out on my part

i was like holy fvck when they have sex

[Kratos]

lol, its supposed to be bleeds for 7 days and doesnt die.
Trip out on my part

IDK, my gf was on her period 2 weeks in a row once..."we can't have sex, I'm on my period"