I really dont want a divorce, but this is getting old...

**lovbyts** · 04-25-2010, 11:57 PM

Originally Posted by ModelInProgress

Fine...then you don't get my absolutely adorable toddler...so there!! (sticking tongue out and pouting) LOL

I really dont think you want him to have your toddler.... I think that came out from you wrong. LOL

But see, women use the kids also on men. Didnt work with me. I fought until I got my daughter at age 2 but I already had raised her 80% my self since birth. Because it's a woman does not make it a better choice for a care giver.

Lots of women are evil as DSM says. It's usually the woman who wants to destroy the mans life/future and take everything when it's the men who mostly only want OUT...

Do you know 60% of all divorces are initiated by women in their 40s, usually going through menopause. It's bad enough that women doing think LOGICALLY most of the time, it's by emotion but during menopause there the emotions are even MORE out of whack than normal. I think all women going through menopause should be on Valium 24/7...

**bucks_243** · 04-26-2010, 03:59 AM

Yeah, beware the Sucubus! They can wear you down to the point that you think your the one that's crazy! We just had a WAR because mine wanted me to sign over my Post 9-11 GI Bill to her so she could finish college! Get out before she sucks you dry dude.

**lovbyts** · 04-26-2010, 06:44 AM

Originally Posted by bucks_243

Yeah, beware the Sucubus! They can wear you down to the point that you think your the one that's crazy! We just had a WAR because mine wanted me to sign over my Post 9-11 GI Bill to her so she could finish college! Get out before she sucks you dry dude.

Yeah one once she finishes college and figures she has drained you then she is also finished with you... Fvck that.

Make sure they contribute, NOT draining you unless it's from your knob...

**Shinalynn** · 04-26-2010, 07:19 AM

I was raised that the man brings home the money while the woman takes care of the man at home. When I say take care I mean in EVERY way. Life on the other hand has made me to want my own money. So I do my best at home and work a shit ton. I tried to be an at home mom and life that life..it made me depressed. My friend on the other hand has 4 kids with her husband and loves keeping the house, cooking and taking care of the kids.
I guess what I am trying to say is every girl is different. Maybe she really just wants to stay home and take care of her husband, kids, and house. If she Doesnt do either, then ya kick her to the curb. Just know that being that "house wife" is hard and at times very lonley.

**cobra305** · 04-26-2010, 09:18 AM

Women fought many years about the work place and equal salaries, rights so that the man brings home the money thought process is out the window. If the love is not there it is time to go, if it is still there you try harder. As far as the child goes would you rather them have one unhappy always fighting household or two happy homes?

**ModelInProgress** · 04-27-2010, 12:17 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

I really dont think you want him to have your toddler.... I think that came out from you wrong. LOL
But see, women use the kids also on men. Didnt work with me. I fought until I got my daughter at age 2 but I already had raised her 80% my self since birth. Because it's a woman does not make it a better choice for a care giver.

Lots of women are evil as DSM says. It's usually the woman who wants to destroy the mans life/future and take everything when it's the men who mostly only want OUT...

Do you know 60% of all divorces are initiated by women in their 40s, usually going through menopause. It's bad enough that women doing think LOGICALLY most of the time, it's by emotion but during menopause there the emotions are even MORE out of whack than normal. I think all women going through menopause should be on Valium 24/7...

LOL...it's an inside joke from other posts, I would never actually give either of my kids away

__________________________________________________ _______________
So often, when someone has a bad experience in a relationship, they become jaded and overgeneralize the faults of the opposite sex (I've been guilty of it before too). It's not women (or men) that are evil...it's specific ones that are. Most times, at least a portion of the blame lies on not getting to know enough about the person before entering the relationship or getting serious, or at least not seeing the red flags or warning signs that they are trouble. There are some people that are good at hiding their true nature until it's "too late" (i.e. you're married and/or have children, or have somehow invested alot of your time, energy, and finances into the relationship).
The OP's situation sucks and I commend him for wanting to find a way to work things out in the best interest of the child involved. Hopefully, his wife stops being self-centered and realizes that a marriage requires work and sacrifice on the part of both parties. They have joint bills and needs, so she needs to contribute either financially or around the house. Being a stay-at-home-mother is great if you can afford it, but you have to realize that if your husband is out earning money so that you can do so, you need to give back in other ways. ('you' being a general term referring to a woman/wife)

**Bertuzzi** · 04-27-2010, 12:56 AM

You're in a tough situation and I feel for you.

If you decide to go with divorce there are ways to win 100% custody of your son. It takes a lot of work and planning before you file for divorce and you must take all the steps first and catch her off guard. If its the path you choose save some money, get a great fckin lawyer and an even better Private Eye to find dirt on her to make her seem unfit to mother a child in court. It'll be ugly but it works!

You gots to be nasty if you wanna win.

I truly do hope you work it out though

**Slice N Dice** · 04-27-2010, 07:41 AM

Tough one....start giving ultimatums.

**warchild** · 04-27-2010, 09:29 AM

never get married. ever

**Hazard** · 04-27-2010, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by warchild

never get married. ever

^^^^ Best piece of advice given in this thread......

~Haz~

**NVR2BIG1** · 04-27-2010, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by Bertuzzi

You're in a tough situation and I feel for you.

If you decide to go with divorce there are ways to win 100% custody of your son. It takes a lot of work and planning before you file for divorce and you must take all the steps first and catch her off guard. If its the path you choose save some money, get a great fckin lawyer and an even better Private Eye to find dirt on her to make her seem unfit to mother a child in court. It'll be ugly but it works!

You gots to be nasty if you wanna win.

I truly do hope you work it out though

I wouldn't want her to lose the child. Things have been better the past few days, she has been working on trying to get her business going, sending out emails and making phone calls and what not. I'm just focusing on trying to get to this other job by fall and making more $$$. I dont want a child w/out both parents at home

**Igifuno** · 04-27-2010, 04:58 PM

NVR2.. I'm assuming at some point, you've sat her down and given her your thoghts about the situation? What has her response and reactions been like? Does she agree with your desire to improve you and your families quality of life and have you made clear what her role needs to be in the scenario? Also, secretaries and admins can make pretty damn good money... she can apply at a temp agency and they can help place her at a job that accomodates her skills and qualifications. Good luck bro, I hope it all works out for you and your fam. Life isn't always perfect, I know first hand.. but rise up and take control one way or another.

Peace,

IG

**Bertuzzi** · 04-27-2010, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by NVR2BIG1

I wouldn't want her to lose the child. Things have been better the past few days, she has been working on trying to get her business going, sending out emails and making phone calls and what not. I'm just focusing on trying to get to this other job by fall and making more $$$. I dont want a child w/out both parents at home

Fair enough... was just thinking if you wanted full custody but you make a good point.