Post your favorite jokes

[Superhero d-bolman]

Hey guys post up the funniest jokes you've ever read on this... Ill start

I love yakov smirnoff and his in soviet russia jokes, so here are some of his jokes, i understand some people probably don't consider him very funny but i like some word humor.

my favorite yakov smirnoff joke

"We have no gay people in Russia — there are homosexuals but they are not allowed to be gay about it. The punishment is seven years locked in prison with other men and there is a three-year waiting list for that."





some of his other jokes



In America, you can always find a party.
In Soviet Russia, the party always find you.

In America, you drive the car
In Soviet Russia, the car drives you

In Soviet Russia, government controls corporations
In America, corporations control government

In America, political system fails you
In Soviet Russia, you fail political system

In America, you can multitask
In Soviet Russia, the task multis you

In America, your job determines your marks
In Soviet Russia, Marx determines your job

In America, you assassinate the president
In Soviet Russia, the president assassinates you

[alexISthrowed]

Why cant helen keller drive? shes a woman

Why cant stevie wonder read? he's black

just a few off the top of my head.

[ghettoboyd]

i went to sherman williams paint store today and picked up a new color....its called BLOND.....its kind of dull but it spreads really easy....ba dump bump pshhhhhh....thank you, thank you........ im here all week....

[cobra305]

A horse walks into bar, bartender says why the long face.

[ghettoboyd]

A horse walks into bar, bartender says why the long face.

the hoarse replys:thats not my face bitch its my shlong.....

[Bossman]

Why cant helen keller drive? shes a woman

Why cant stevie wonder read? he's black

just a few off the top of my head.

How dare you make a racist joke, Im black......










































from the waist down!

[alexISthrowed]

^^why do you think they call me the centaur

[calgarian]

How dare you make a racist joke, Im black......






from the waist down!

my balls are black...(dont ask girls like to suck on them went red and now black)
does it make me black?

[420daytona]

How was copper wire invented?



Two Jews found the same penny.

[rc_p90]

A little black boy dies and goes to heaven. While there the little black boy says, "Jesus, Jesus! Im an Angel!" Jesus looks at the boy and replies, "naw nigga you a bat!"

(no racist)

[Bossman]

my balls are black...(dont ask girls like to suck on them went red and now black)
does it make me black?

It's funny, Im part German, French and a whole bunch of other stuff, but Im considered white, not German or whatever. But, if one little part of you is african, you're black.

So, you's black!

[stack_it]

A snail walks into a bar and the bartender kicks him out.
A year later the snail returns and says "what was that for"



Where do u find s turtle with no legs?













Right where u left it!

[stack_it]

What's red and smells like blue paint?




























Red paint!

[stack_it]

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar and the bartender says "I don't care if you come in here but don't START anything"


Two Eskimos are in a kayak and cold so they start a fire in the middle. Naturally it sinks. Just goes to show "you can't have your kayak and heat it too"


What's worse than a dead baby on a pitch fork? Two dead babies on a pitchfork!


A black man and a gay man were standing on a street corner. After five minutes hazard drives by and says "hey dsm how much!"

[Superhero d-bolman]

Did you ever hear about the German/Jewish Restaurant? An hour after your finished eating your hungry for power


(that one is a lil hard to understand but i believe it means that if your german you'll want to get rid of the jewish side of it.


Why was the racist scared to cross the road?


He was scared of the other side.

[Mr.Rose]

Whats dirtier than a *Insert word here*... fingering your sister and finding your dads wedding ring.

now the fun begins...

[stack_it]

Whats dirtier than a *cousin*... fingering your sister and finding your dads wedding ring.

now the fun begins...

the answer to what's worse would be your mother fingering your sister and finding your dads wedding ring.

[Mr.Rose]

I can do one better,

... fingering your little brother's asshole and finding your granddads wedding ring.

[stack_it]

How about fingering your grandpas ass and finding your brothers cock ring

[Mr.Rose]

Or fingering your granddads asshole and finding:

1) your uncle bob's cock ring
2) your dads wedding ring
3) your mum used tampon
4) DSM's vibrator
5) your little sisters hair scrunchie

[stevey_6t9]

oohh geeze,

rose and stack it your both fuked in the head lol

[stack_it]

oohh geeze,

rose and stack it your both fuked in the head lol

U know you've been trying to think of one to add to the list.

[stack_it]

Or fingering your granddads asshole and finding:

1) your uncle bob's cock ring
2) your dads wedding ring
3) your mum used tampon
4) DSM's vibrator
5) your little sisters hair scrunchie

How about going down on your great aunt and finding your grandmas dentures

going down on your mom and finding your little brothers restrainer

or having sex with your girlfriend and she calls you by her dads name!

[Mr.Rose]

How about going down on your great aunt and finding your grandmas dentures

going down on your mom and finding your little brothers restrainer

or having sex with your girlfriend and she calls you by her dads name!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

My hats of to you sir, you won this. Thats just fuking gold. If that ever happened to me... christ i have no idea what i would do!

[stack_it]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

My hats of to you sir, you won this. Thats just fuking gold. If that ever happened to me... christ i have no idea what i would do!

I thought about it after I typed it and was trying to debate if I would leave her in the middle of the sex or finish and then leave her lol. I think I would prolly finish first.

[jbm]

What's the difference between a condom and a parachute?

[Mr.Rose]

I thought about it after I typed it and was trying to debate if I would leave her in the middle of the sex or finish and then leave her lol. I think I would prolly finish first.

haha, i would leave as soon as she said it, break up with her and fuk her hopefully MILF mother.

[Mr.Rose]

What's the difference between a condom and a parachute?

White people wear condoms, black people and JBM wear parachutes?

[goodlifting]

i don't have a joke right now but i heard a pretty badass pickup line the other night at the club: "hey sweetheart, come over here and sit on my face so i can guess your weight."

[jbm]

White people wear condoms, black people and JBM wear parachutes?

no..... lolol!


When a condom got a hole it builds life....

When a parachute got a hole it kills life....

[calgarian]

Or fingering your granddads asshole and finding:

1) your uncle bob's cock ring
2) your dads wedding ring
3) your mum used tampon
4) DSM's vibrator
5) your little sisters hair scrunchie

How about going down on your great aunt and finding your grandmas dentures

going down on your mom and finding your little brothers restrainer

or having sex with your girlfriend and she calls you by her dads name!

ok thats ****ed up even for me

[stack_it]

i don't have a joke right now but i heard a pretty badass pickup line the other night at the club: "hey sweetheart, come over here and sit on my face so i can guess your weight."

How about....

Does this smell like chloroform?

[Superhero d-bolman]

How about....

Does this smell like chloroform?

guys rate this bad ass action movie line i made up on a scale of 1 to 10

"hey guess what, lemme tell you something, people always ask me how come i got such big balls when it comes to doing the risky shit i do. Well lemme ya why
their so big, its cuz they gotta stay in proportion to the size of my prick if you know what i mean". Pretty bad ass action movie line i made up ehh?

[calgarian]

guys rate this bad ass action movie line i made up...

"hey guess what lemme tell you something people always ask me how come i got such big balls when it comes to doing the risky shit i do. Well lemme ya why their so big, its cuz they gotta stay in proportion to the size of my prick if you know what i mean". Pretty bad ass action movie line i made up ehh?

dont try to pick up chicks with it please!!!!!

[Mr.Rose]

How about....

Does this smell like chloroform?

I can order a shitload of chloroform from local chemical suppliers, i wanna try it out of my friends, but after a bit a of research it has a chance of causing instant death, . Sooo... who wants to try it with me?

[calgarian]

I can order a shitload of chloroform from local chemical suppliers, i wanna try it out of my friends, but after a bit a of research it has a chance of causing instant death, . Sooo... who wants to try it with me?

its easier to get the chick drunk......but knowing u , u will get a she male drunk and u wont find out till he/she is passed out and in ur bed naked

[MaNiCC]

Stack it the chlorofome one was quality

[Superhero d-bolman]

dont try to pick up chicks with it please!!!!!

lol i realize that.

[Mr.Rose]

haha, i think its easier to put a rag soaked in chloroform to her face then to get her smashed, haha.

And... if i found out she, i mean he was a shemale i would keep plowing.

then dump her on the streets. haha.

[calgarian]

haha, i think its easier to put a rag soaked in chloroform to her face then to get her smashed, haha.

And... if i found out she, i mean he was a shemale i would keep plowing.

then dump her on the streets. haha.

why i am not surprised?????