What have I gotten myself into?

[Sir Lifts-a-lot]

Okay, so for starters this is a relationship based question. I know, I know... not another boo-hoo bullshit question, but I figure I would ask you guys for opinions on the matter.

Here goes. I have been seeing this girl for a month who I used to work with. We were very close when for three years while working together. We were like Jim & Pam from the office. At the time she was with her boyfriend of eight years. Now she recently broke up with him and we started to fool around a little. That fooling around lead to one thing after the other.

She has told me that they have been on a break, but since that was such a long term relationship she still sees him from time to time and whatever happens happens (She is open and honest about it, and doesn't hide it at all).

Now her and I are starting to actually notice that there are some feelings between us and I have made it known that I don't want to play second fiddle to this guy. She says it is too hard to just stop seeing him completely so now she is basically dating both of us. I am trying to be cool about the whole thing and let my personality and good qualities shine, but quite honestly I don't want to compete with someone she was with for eight years... There is too much history there. I also don't want to put in all this time and then be told 'Thank's for playing, but I'm going to go back to him'.

I mean I know I have feelings for her and she says the same. I also know that that at the end of the day I am confident I am the better person out of the two of us, but do I really think she will end up with me?.... No, I think she will just go back to him because it is familiar.

I want to be with her, and if the situation was just some other guy I wouldn't even doubt myself, but the eight year history seems like too big of a wall to overcome especially since she is resistant to throw the towel in with him.

So, my question is do I stay in this fight?

[lovbyts]

Stay but dont fight, do the same, go out with other girls. You cant love someone who does not love you, it's only your natural instinct to want possesion of her, make her yours. Cave man mentality but use your higher thinking and see it for what it is.

It still could turn out to be more but for now make sure you are not there for her beckon call and you are seeing other girls. If you are ALWAYS available then you already lost.

Make sure when you bang her you do it HARD and have fun, dont always try to be the romantic gentleman. Think about ripping it up so she is to tired/work out to bang her other BF. LOL It wont happen but it's fun to think about.... The less you care the more she will.

[Friend]

Buy a shorter leash.

[goodlifting]

lovebyts is right. the person who cares the least is in control of any relationship.

[vanduhl]

Yeah man, the best advice is to keep bangin her and try to focus your emotional energy into something else..shes double dippin so why shouldnt you? Go out and try to find a dime that is only with you..then the more time you spend with that new girl, the easier it will be to ween yourself off of the 8 yr. girl.

Cause lets face it, 8 years is a looooong time and you just simply cant compete with that history, it don't matter who you are.

And it will be almost as long for her to get over that guy. . . so just keep layin the pipe on her while on the other hand your still out lookin for your 8 year- lifer.

Good luck bro!

[cobra305]

Personally I would get rid of her. If she goes back with him you have wasted your time, if see chooses you you will still have wasted your time because right now she is using you as a doormat. She is seeing you and f$cking someone else as well who she is obviously still attached to. If you two become more serious she will always see you as someone she can take advantage of because you have allowed it in the past. I would fold this hand and move on with my life.

[Sir Lifts-a-lot]

Good advice from all... I actually think Cobra has been the most realistic here. The common sense looks like it is the truth on this one.

Thanks guys.

[calgarian]

Okay, so for starters this is a relationship based question. I know, I know... not another boo-hoo bullshit question, but I figure I would ask you guys for opinions on the matter.

Here goes. I have been seeing this girl for a month who I used to work with. We were very close when for three years while working together. We were like Jim & Pam from the office. At the time she was with her boyfriend of eight years. Now she recently broke up with him and we started to fool around a little. That fooling around lead to one thing after the other.

She has told me that they have been on a break, but since that was such a long term relationship she still sees him from time to time and whatever happens happens (She is open and honest about it, and doesn't hide it at all).

Now her and I are starting to actually notice that there are some feelings between us and I have made it known that I don't want to play second fiddle to this guy. She says it is too hard to just stop seeing him completely so now she is basically dating both of us. I am trying to be cool about the whole thing and let my personality and good qualities shine, but quite honestly I don't want to compete with someone she was with for eight years... There is too much history there. I also don't want to put in all this time and then be told 'Thank's for playing, but I'm going to go back to him'.

I mean I know I have feelings for her and she says the same. I also know that that at the end of the day I am confident I am the better person out of the two of us, but do I really think she will end up with me?.... No, I think she will just go back to him because it is familiar.

I want to be with her, and if the situation was just some other guy I wouldn't even doubt myself, but the eight year history seems like too big of a wall to overcome especially since she is resistant to throw the towel in with him.

So, my question is do I stay in this fight?

so u r like a spare tire she like to have u but cant have u on her all the time??? I put ppl in this situation believe me outcome isnt pretty....get out of it no matter what u r her rebound guy no matter which way u look at it and in the end it will be "oh I was going through emotional breakdown and he was my rebound guy".

What the hell happened to the chick u were seeing in the old days?

[sheckeyshabazz]

Yeah bang other chicks and don't be available for her all the time. And very true about who cares the least has the most control in a relationship. Good advice from everybody. Good luck bro

[Nooomoto]

**** her, don't date her. DO NOT TAKE WOMEN ON DATES!!! There's no need for it. Let her bf take her out on dates, and you just bang her.

[powerliftmike]

Overall guys on this site give good advice on relationships IMO. I like alot of the above posts. Ive tried to work through other girls baggage before, didnt work for me, and doubt it will work for you. You can still talk to her and bang her really good for a while, but dont spend too much time with her and no dates! Start seeing other girls without all the emotional baggage for dates and stuff. Not this one!

Usually, people being the losers they are, get back together. They probably will esp if they are ****ing. They may go back and forth between dating and being off for a while too.

How old is this girl btw? Big difference in a 40 year old coming out of an 8 year relationship and a 20 year old..

[stack_it]

I agree with just about everything said. But I have to agree with noomoto the most. Just go out and do your own thing and only call her when you wanna bang. I bet this is the way her ex is treating her right now. If she calls and asks if you wanna hang out and watch a movie or something just say "well I have plans already but I'll give you a call afterwards." Don't tell her what your plans are because no matter what you tell her they won't be as great as what she will create in her head and think you're doing. Don't try to date this girl seriously. They always go back to what there comfortable with. If it was a marriage and they divorced that's different but a break just means she wanted a different dick for a little bit. Have some fun with this one and enjoy. I had a very similar situation to this happen over the summer, but the girl was still married.

[MaNiCC]

chloroform works...... right stack it?

[gixxerboy1]

been in the same situation.

She was still living with him though. He worked nights so i would go over there house. She would cook me dinner and leave him the left overs. We bang in their house. Go out all the time. Eventually she just stopped calling and i assume went back with him. This went on for about 4 months

[calgarian]

been in the same situation.

She was still living with him though. He worked nights so i would go over there house. She would cook me dinner and leave him the left overs. We bang in their house. Go out all the time. Eventually she just stopped calling and i assume went back with him. This went on for about 4 months

2 yrs for me and she was a squitter....hmmm the good ol days.

[stack_it]

chloroform works...... right stack it?

Every time!

[Sir Lifts-a-lot]

Ya I think I am going to go ahead and just get what I can on the physical side and then get the hell out of dodge. I really don't want to be in something where feelings develop (which they are slightly) and then get hurt. We are both in our late 20's so I figured that this would have been something 'grown ups' wouldn't have to deal with but low and behold here we are reliving high school-esque bullshit!

Calgarian- As for the old fiance, well, that fell apart over time. Still keep in touch, but we just grew apart after we moved to New York. Smartest thing I ever did was call that off. It got to the point when we were eating dinner one night that I just looked at her and thought to myself that I didn't love this girl anymore, she has become my roommate that I put my dick in from time to time.

[Sir Lifts-a-lot]

On another note it is kind of funny how I rarely come on here since I don't really take part in the anabolic scene anymore, but when I do it is usually because of some situation where I need advice. The responses are always positive, and good natured. I guess I just trust this group of people more then most... I mean, the older guys here convinced me to inject foreign oils into my body for years, so I guess I trust you all a bit more.

[calgarian]

Ya I think I am going to go ahead and just get what I can on the physical side and then get the hell out of dodge. I really don't want to be in something where feelings develop (which they are slightly) and then get hurt. We are both in our late 20's so I figured that this would have been something 'grown ups' wouldn't have to deal with but low and behold here we are reliving high school-esque bullshit!

Calgarian- As for the old fiance, well, that fell apart over time. Still keep in touch, but we just grew apart after we moved to New York. Smartest thing I ever did was call that off. It got to the point when we were eating dinner one night that I just looked at her and thought to myself that I didn't love this girl anymore, she has become my roommate that I put my dick in from time to time.

Damn it bro it sounded that u were in a serious relationship and she was very understanding when ur previous Ex died...anyway Its better u moved on "All is good". Just keep banging her and Slightly IMO is an understatement it they were slightly u werent create this thread but what do i know move on, let her date both of u as long as u end up in her bed all that matters. Good luck to you.

[Sir Lifts-a-lot]

holy shit Calgarian I can't believe you remember when I posted up about Erin passing away way back when.... That was the absolute lowest point in my life. Ya, that had a bit to do with the fiance and I ending as well... She felt as though she was always being compared to her.

Good looking out bro... Us older members gots' ta' look out for one another!

[calgarian]

holy shit Calgarian I can't believe you remember when I posted up about Erin passing away way back when.... That was the absolute lowest point in my life. Ya, that had a bit to do with the fiance and I ending as well... She felt as though she was always being compared to her.

Good looking out bro... Us older members gots' ta' look out for one another!

u got it bro...good luck....

[powerliftmike]

She would cook me dinner and leave him the left overs.

Yea. Women for ya...