Whats your best joke ???

[DOM6]

FREE SEX WITH FILL-UP

There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time but maybe next time".

Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time".

As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sex". The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."

[Matt]

Yeah, i never left, just took a break.

This guy comming back is a joke..

[DOM6]

This guy comming back is a joke..

^^^ who is that guy?

[jbm]

look at my elbows!

[Hoggage_54]

repost

[jbm]

^^^ who is that guy?

who is ferocious bubble?

[stack_it]

look at my elbows!

There not even!

[jbm]

There not even!

how about my shoulders?

[stack_it]

how about my shoulders?

Nope those look like uneven tren shoulders too.

[jbm]

Nope those look like uneven tren shoulders too.

my balls?

[wanabeMASSIVE!]

my stomach is a joke.

[wanabeMASSIVE!]

This guy comming back is a joke..

lol...aye 2 that...

[gixxerboy1]

my balls?

i cant find my balls

[stack_it]

i cant find my balls

Dsm will help you and jbm

[rookie builder]

Why do women love jesus?










because he's hung like this( spread arms wide )

[scorpion62]

This guy was playing golf with his wife when they came to the fourth tee which had a huge hill in front of it the guy hits the ball streight and clean over the hill.The pair walk up and over the hill to find a guy standing with his ball between his legs with a broken bottle there to,the guy asks the pair is this your ball? Yes said the golfer,The guy says to him I am a genie and your ball has set me free,I will give you three wishes The golfer said for my first wish

I wont a porsche

genie At the end of your round of golf your porsche will be sitting in the car park

For my second wish I wont a huge amount of cash

genie At the end of your round of golf go to your bank and the cash will be in your account

For my third wish I wont to cruise the world

genie At the end of your round of golf in the passenger seat of your porsche two world cruise tickets will be there

Now said the genie I have been in that bottle for one hundred years I wonder could you do me a favor? The golfer says what would that be?Genie says give me a $hag of your wife? Golfer says ok

The genie is $hagging away and asks the wife what age is your husband? wife says 42

42 and he still beleaves in GENIES

[calgarian]

bestjoke......

Marry me and leave ur wife

[gym_junki]

fvk these 3D t.v.S are so realistic I was watching a documentary about aboriginals and had a snooz and when I woke up my wallet was gone.

[gym_junki]

there was a little kid sitting on the stairs out side his house holding a jar of m&m and a cat, he swolowes one m&m licks the cat and goes down one step, he repeats the same thing over and over, his mum walked out and asked him what are u doing? He said I'm practicing for the future popping pills licking psssy and moving on. Lol

[wanabeMASSIVE!]

there was a little kid sitting on the stairs out side his house holding a jar of m&m and a cat, he swolowes one m&m licks the cat and goes down one step, he repeats the same thing over and over, his mum walked out and asked him what are u doing? He said I'm practicing for the future popping pills licking psssy and moving on. Lol

loll..

[spncr]

i got caught havin a w/\nk in the newsagents yesterday, now its all over the papers

[scorpion62]

An American tourist came over to Scotland,when he got off the plane he stopped a taxi and said to the driver take me to the biggest college the driver takes the American to the biggest college

The American says is that the biggest college my man?

Yes said the taxi driver,In America they touch the sky well two inches off it,Take me to the biggest Train station the driver takes the American to the biggest train station

The American says is that the biggest train station my man?

Yes said the taxi driver,In America they touch the sky well two inches off it,Take me to the biggest hospital the driver takes the American to the biggest hospital

The American says is that the biggest hospital my man?

Yes says the taxi driver,In America they touch the sky well two inches off it,Well says the taxi driver see in that hospital a woman had baby out of her ass, did she says the American?

No says the driver it was TWO INCHES off it

[fattywarbucks]

What's the hardest part when learning how to rollerblade?





Telling your dad that you're gay

[Big]

a teacher was teaching her 2ng grade class and mentioned that humans are the only creatures that stutter. a little girl raised her hand and said "no ma'am, I had a cat that stuttered". the teacher, thinking the story might be cute, asked the little girl to explain.
the little girl stood up and said "I was playing in the back yard with my cat, and the neighbor's pit bull was barking and barking like crazy. the dog broke his leash and ran straight at the fence!"
the teacher said "oh my, what happened?"
the little girl continued "the doggie jumped the fence and ran straight at my kitty cat. the cat yelled FFFF....FFFFF....FFFFF and before he could say FVCK! the doggie eated him!"

[bjpennnn]

Q: How did Hitler tie his shoes? A: In little nazis

[Older lifter]

Why do women have periods,,,,,, because they deserve them

[DOM6]

How do you get a redneck to NOT go mudding with his truck today?






Tell him another one of his cousins just moved in.

[gym_junki]

man donates his blood to his wife to save her life. A year later they break up. He says give me my blood back u bitch she rips out her tampon and says here **** u can have it in monthly installments

[boxa06]

A nun gets on a bus that's empty execpt for the driver.
The nun says I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I do but I must remain a virgin so it must be anal and I can't commit adultery so the man must be single. Can you fulfil my wish?
Yes says the driver and fulfils her wish.
Then feeling guilty the driver says I'm sorry I lied! I'm marreid with 3 kids!
That's ok! Said the nun. I lies too! My name is David and I'm going to a fancy dress party!

[boxa06]

A man gets home from working a night shift and decides to wake his wife by giving her oral. He climbs under the bottom of the quilt and licks her pvssy til she quivers and cums all over his face. He goes to the bathroom to clean up and find his wife in there shaving her legs! "what the fvck are you doin here!!??" he yells.. "sshhh" she says "you'll wake your mother!!"

[thenextcutler]

A man gets home from working a night shift and decides to wake his wife by giving her oral. He climbs under the bottom of the quilt and licks her pvssy til she quivers and cums all over his face. He goes to the bathroom to clean up and find his wife in there shaving her legs! "what the fvck are you doin here!!??" he yells.. "sshhh" she says "you'll wake your mother!!"

AAAAAAAAAAHHH oh my god!

[Shinalynn]

This one is for you guys.

What is the America Bird?
Bald Eagle

What is the Thanksgiving bird?
Turkey

What is the bird of love?
Dove

What is the bird of True Love??
Swallow

[Stigmata101]

Whats the difference between hookers and onions?

I don't cry when I cut up hookers.

Favorite bathroon grafitti

If you can read this you are shitting at a 45. (written real small on the far lower corner of the stall)

[Batt]

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?

Santa Clause stops after 3 Hoes.

[wantmoremass]

little johnny comes over to his grandparents and his grandpa is eating a plate of cookies. little johnny asks if he can have a cookie. grandpa says 'can you touch your penis to your a-hole'? little johnny says 'no' and grandpa says 'sorry then, you're not big enough to have a cookie'

grandpa comes home one day and little johnny has a plate of cookies grandma made. grandpa asks 'little johnny can i have a cookie'? little johnny says 'i don't know grandpa can you touch your penis to your a-hole'? grandpa says 'yes i can'. little johnny says 'then go fvck yourself, these are my cookies'.

[theorignalanimal]

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?>>>>?????????? getting raped!!!

[scorpion62]

There was a farmers son ploughing a feild with two Clydesdale horses and the old type plough

Sat on the gate of the field was a young lady watching the farmers son going up and down the field,with no shirt on and the sweat running down his tanned muscles,getting wet and horny her self watching him

When the son finished ploughing the field he picked up one horse and throws it over the wall in to the other field and grabs the other and dose the same thing,by this time the girl is off the gate and running down the field shouting fvck me fvck me when she reaches the son he say

fvck you fvck me I have just ploughed the wrong field

[vanduhl]

This one is for you guys.

What is the America Bird?
Bald Eagle

What is the Thanksgiving bird?
Turkey

What is the bird of love?
Dove

What is the bird of True Love??
Swallow

yeahhhh!!!!!

[CMB]

Black Parrot
A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot.

[CMB]

Black Parrot
A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot.