what gives me the drive and desire--to pay monthly to be in pain,to go through the training and reps.
I have always been competitive--always playing baseball , football and doing martial arts while growing up. i have always felt the need to compete in sports. but more than just that i always wanted to be big. when i was growing up i'd see wrestling and wanted to be built like them. it took years of training and many mistakes to get to the size i am today but its the need and desire that made me keep going through the sticking points.
what was that desire --sometimes i wonder why i keep training so hard---is it obsession, or fear off being normal looking. is it because i dont want people who know me asking if i am sick or not training because i lost size. when i started i was 151lbs and years later i've been as high as 248lbs(in october when i started my cutting) now i am at 238lbs and feeling much better being leaner. at at 5'10" i am sure its big enough but yet at times i feel small(weird).
since may of 97 i have also been doing jui jitsu and train very hard in that. i go in phases when i train jui jitsu harder than weights then if i feel i look bad i train weights harder for awhile. i love jui jitsu for many reasons--the movements and tecniques,self defense,cardio,the competitive desire and the self confidence it gives knowing if i have to defend myself i have one heck of an edge.
but with all that and the older i get i still do not stop the weights because again of the self confidence and desire to be different from others. i have to admit i love walking into a room where people are looking and making comments about my size or build. we all like that or we would not be doing it
weight lifting and jui jitsu are a major portion of my life that i could not give up because of the confidence,security and for them fulfilling the competitive desire and need to compete inside. my son and family will always come first but the weights are aways there waiting for me and will always be important. how important--my wife and son train also,my son is 5 and does some weights and alot of jui jitsu with me.
what gives you the desire to pound your body and go through the pain--and keep coming back?