A day in the life on NR2BIG hook up history

[NVR2BIG1]

I was reading another thread on here about this dude who ordered an escort, and I got to thinking, I've had a lot of ****ed up experiences with chicks I've nailed in the past, some of them are just too funny. So I wanted to start a thread and tell my story. This is probably going to be a long, ongoing thing, b/ I've had a lot of ****ed up shit happen to me and been w/ a lot of bitches. Maybe, just maybe, someone will learn something or at least find some level of amusement from this;

Story #1- The Waffle House Whore

So my friend Brian and I were at this Techno club near the lake, we had been drinking Corona and hanging out at the club all night. I was 21 yrs old at the time, and I had this old broad drunk off her ass trying to talk to me. The night had went on, and she was drunker and drunker, to the point she is making out w/ me in front of 1000 people. She was probably in her mid 40's, not great, but it would do. Well, some fat, redhead **** shows up and he's cockblocking me major, tells me he knows her and all of this shit. I'm getting drunker and drunker, and I vaguely remember the next part. She grabs my arm and says "honey, take me home" I said "ok" then the fat redhead dude tells me "man, I need to get her home" I said to him "yeah me too!!" thats not going to happen, I guarantee thats not going to happen, he says to me. I told him that she could never be drunk enough to **** him, so it wasn't happening for him either. He had me up against the wall by my shirt collar, the guy was probably 50 yrs old. They broke it up and got me away from him. Well, I was asking people for condoms, and then listen to this shit...



the drunk redhead cockblocker hears me, and then meets this chick on her way to the bathroom and tells her that I'm asking for rubbers so I can bang her. She approaches me stumbling and pointing her finger at me "they say your out here looking for rubbers to bang me? " I said "yes, that right" she did not like that and started shouting obscenities at me. I dont remember much else, but what I do remember is my drunk ass pointing to her and saying quote on quote "Bitch, if you dont like it then go the **** home" Well after this the older guys that had met up with my friend (I just met this dude he was in his mid 30's, I was the young one) they held me up on some sort of God Damn pedistoole, "Holy ****, this kid is the man, did you hear what he just said to her?" So the rest of the night these guys kept buying me drinks and shouting "bitch if you dont like it GTF home!! Classic, this kid is the man!!"

But it was 3am, I was in my Honda w/ my friend Brian completely smashed, driving home w/ no *****, just another dick in the passenger seat. so no, I was not the man in my eyes. Now here is where the Waffle House Whore comes into the story. Brian asks me to pull into Waffle House b/ he was hungry. I said "Dude, WTF is Waffle House?" He says to me "everyone goes here after they drink, you can pick up chicks here!!" I was thinking yea right. So low and behold I get into the Waffle House and there is this drunk blonde chick w/ her fat friend. We start talking, I'm wasted, really wasted. She starts touching my arms and I tell her something like "if you want to see more of this then you should come home w/me. Well, she didnt come over that night, but she did follow me out to my car and I took my shirt off and just had my wifebeater on. I did some most muscular pose and she starts grabbing on my chest. But she had to go home she says.

Next morning my hung over ass is in the shower, phone rings at 9:00am. Its her. "Hey, I'm down here at Wal-mart shopping" Ok, we agree to "hang out" I drive down to Wal-mart still drunk and meet her in the parking lot. She follows me back. "I dont want you to think I'm a whore or anything" she says. No, I dont think that at all I say (yea right, any chick who says this, your in guys!!) so she takes off her clothes and says to me "you see all my stretch marks, yeah I had kids" this was the first time I saw stretch marks on a chick like this, oh well I nail it anyways. Well, I have never had a chick Queef this much the entire time I'm hitting it, I'm hitting it and the whole time this bitch is just saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" my dick continues going limp again and again. I'm trying like hell to finish, but I just cant. Finally I tell her I can't, I have a headache from drinking. She leaves feeling like shit. I walk back and look in my mirror. My chest is full, pumped, vascular!!! Trying to nut and not being able to gets you shredded let me tell ya. My most muscular looks better than the night b4. So anyways, that was Cindy the "Waffle House slut" 4th chick I ever nailed.


Moral of the story; ****ing a ***** farting chick w/ stretch marks that you met at the Waffle House, is a good routine for fullness in the chest and vascularity, 2000 strokes and not being able to finish really blows the pecs up!!

Stay tuned for my next story "Chick makes me stop b/ it hurts b/ she was raped with a knife before" in this story I manage to break my car stereo w/ my foot ****ing in the car, girl has to have me stop because she claims she was raped w/ knife before. Stay tuned

[terraj]

4.5/10

[stack_it]

And how many coronas have you had tonight?

[NVR2BIG1]

4.5/10

dude, this was just chick #4, they get better trust me

[goodlifting]

dude waffle houses are always a focal point for insane women.

i was there late one saturday night and i was approached by an ugly old broad. she said the damnedest fvckin thing to me though: the drunk ol b!tch stubbled over to my table and sat across from me and said (in her thick north west louisiana accent), "You're hot, and im a professional." i started crackin up and was totally speechless.

[cherrydrpepper]

I think im the only person on the planet that feels perfectly at home at a waffle house.. could be a holdover from my drinking days though. I used to go in at 3 am every other day and play the same 5 or 6 songs out of the jukebox.. Two johnny cash tunes two elvis tunes and some other.

[Stigmata101]

One time I brought this smokin hot blonde home from a club and we started goin at it missionary. She wanted it doggie style so I flipped her over. I kept getting a smell of sh*t. I finally took a good look at her ass and she had the biggest sh*t stain I had ever seen.

[alexISthrowed]

haha thats funny as hell. I like the avy its nice and peaceful.

[vanduhl]

aww man....***** farts are hilarious....you ever gotten a fart while ur bagin a chick in her ass?..when u pull out its a big fart...i die laughing every time

[calgarian]

i was going to tell just one of the stories....but dont feel like typing that much some other time....

[vanduhl]

i was going to tell just one of the stories....but dont feel like typing that much some other time....

i see thi thread going places if everyone types a hilariou story

[calgarian]

i see thi thread going places if everyone types a hilariou story

mine never hilarious.......i always end up in their bed.....with only them of course...

[Hazard]

LOL cooter farts are pretty funny..... never had a chick fart after pullin out of her ass tho.....

~Haz~

[vanduhl]

LOL cooter farts are pretty funny..... never had a chick fart after pullin out of her ass tho.....

~Haz~

its hilarious....

[calgarian]

LOL cooter farts are pretty funny..... never had a chick fart after pullin out of her ass tho.....

~Haz~

after I am done in their butt cause of some reason the burp from their real mouth never farted Cause i push their shit so far up their arse they can only burp

[vanduhl]

after i am done in their butt cause of some reason the burp from their real mouth never farted cause i push their shit so far up their arse they can only burp

lmao!!

[C-MaN]

I was completely fvcking wasted at a kegger at my place back in my college days.. hooked up with this girl that i had been friends with for a while.. we are going crazy fvcking like monkeys... well i stick it in her ass and go to town. when i pulled out she farted.. It was the worst smell I had ever came across.. I threw on my own bed. we were both so drunk we didnt even really care.. I kept going til i spunkd on her face

[NVR2BIG1]

"chick who made me stop b/ it hurt b/ she was raped w/ a knife"


So I meet this girl on the computer. We talked here and there for a few wks. I finally decided to go meet her, well she had a friend w/ her. She is giving me directions into the neighborhood, and I end up at this old shack that was once owned by the cotton mill across the street. Anyways, we all get in the car and go to Applebees. Stupid me, I pay for the dinner. Well as I'm sitting there I notice this chicks keychain on the table, it says "A fool and his money are a perfect date" I got pissed. We then drive to some hole in the wall tattoo joint that was open around midnight. Her and her friend are wanting to get these little cherry tattoos, look nice and trailer park looking. I think they wanted me to pay, I declined. AS we drive back they ask each other some shit about playing "the cherry game" w/ me. WTF was the cherry game I thought? They go into a grocery store and buy these chocolate covered cherries. They tell me that the rules of the game are simlple. One of them puts a chocolate covered cherry in their mouth, I kiss them and whoever gets the bigger part of the cherry has the other one do something sexual to them. SWEET! So we are all in this grocery store parking lot in my beat to piss 2 door Honda, game starts off really well. Well just as I'm in the middle of having fun, this beat up Pinto(Yeah, I said Pinto, seriously) full of black guys pulls up alongside us. "Ay yall, wahts going on in dare!!" ****!! God Damnit!! The chicks get distracted by the brotha's, damnit!! "Whatchoo guys gittin; into to0nite?" Nothing now ****ers, I thought to myself!!They eventually leave, now the one bitch is talking about how she's tired and wants to go home. The other is still cool. I step to the plate and say "Why dont we just cut out all this crap and I'll go get a room?" The one wants it, other doesn't. I drop the bitches back off, I pull off and the one chick follows me in her car(other went in for the night)So we are at the end of the street talking. It went something like this; "So, you down? Yea, lets go, she says." Now I'm piss broke, I would have bit the bullet and got the room and ate PPJ the rest of the week for 2 chicks at once, but not just the skank freind!! So I say, just follow me. We pull down some dead end street, she hops into my car.


Funny thing was is this skank was off/on w/ her husband on her cell all night. Poor bastard was in the Navy and had no idea. Whatever, I didnt give a **** at the time. We start going at it. Now its hot, I mean dirty south hot. I mean, hot like the windows are fogging and my ballsweat is begging me for a shower. Looking back on it, it wasn't even enjoyable, but the forces were too strong. So I'm hitting it and then the bitch starts screaming "OUCH OUCH!! You have to hurry!!" I couldn't even finish. She tells me it hurts b/ she was raped w/ a knife before. I got the heebie jeebies like a mother****er!! So I'm like "Oh.....K...well I gotta go. As I'm pulling away I try tuning my stereo, ****ing thing got busted by my foot. I drive an hour back to my apartment w/ nothing but the guilt of ****ing some nasty skank who was raped w/ a knife before, and no music!! ****!!!


The moral of the story is #1- black guys in a beat up Pinto can **** anybody's night up
#2- always remember not to kick your stereo when ****ing a chick w/ a vaginal wound from a knife


Tune in for the next story!

"So there I was, standing in this chicks silver bullet trailer, talking to her fat, former Hells Angel dad, who was hooked up to an Oxygen cylinder watching his 13" TV. He was on the floor in a sleeping bag, the fat mom was eating an ice cream cone, ****ing kids were screaming!! Now that I was sober and here to pick this bitch up for a date, suddenly it dawned on me.......This was certainly not the same blonde chick I had met the night b4 in that portable building redneck stripclub!!

Tune in......