Wtf Man!?

[LawMan018]

So last night my wife texts me at work telling me to pick up a lawnmower from a friend to mow the front and back lawn (I was planning on doing it Friday, but happy wife happy life right?). So I said okay. She asked me to do it at 8 the next morning so I said sure.

Fast forward to the alarm going off this morning at 8. I sit up and the first thing she says is, "get the lawnmower." I'm thinking wth, but continue on with my morning routine. I let the dog out, make some coffee, and then she comes out asking if I'm not going to get it soon she will. I just give her a weird look, finish my coffee and go get the lawnmower.

I get back and she says she'll make breakfast, so I'm thinking great, I'm starving! I start mowing the lawns, get about halfway done and it dies on me. I check the gas can and we're empty. I go inside and she still hasn't made breakfast yet so I tell her since I have to be at work at 3:30, I'd rather eat real quick, go get my workout done, fill up the gas on the way back, and finish the lawn. I think it's a lot better time management than have to go get gas can, come back, mow lawn, wait for breakfast, then workout...

She starts saying how I'm not going to do it when I get back cause I'll be too tired from my workout, and that she'll just take care of it. Code for you piece of crap you better do it. I'm getting annoyed at this point, but since she's making breakfast I say what the hell and just do it anyways to satisfy her.

Anyways... I get the gas, finish the lawn, come inside and there are muffins on the counter. I'm thinking great, I'll have muffins with my breakfast. I ask her when she's going to cook the rest cause I wanted to workout soon and she just gives me this look. She says, "The muffins aren't good enough for you?" I'm thinking shit....

I had thanked her for the muffins right beforehand, and while I was getting the lawnmower ready earlier she had mentioned eggs and stuff so I just figured it would be more. I told her I didn't mean it like that and I plan on eating one but I was going to make eggs too.

She then gets up, starts making eggs all pissy like, and doesn't say anything to me. I try to stay out of her way by taking a shower. When I come out, eggs are done, the muffins and tin are in the trash and she's in the bedroom. I go try and talk to her and she just says, "Don't talk to me."

Now here I am, wondering why the hell women are so damn sensitive... Not to mentioned heavily annoyed as well...

[ReX357]

You should beat her more often. Then I guarantee you would get breakfast with eggs & BACON every morning. You might not even have to mow the lawn anymore.

[calgarian]

wow.....seriously dude...just wow

[Knockout_Power]

Sorry to hear bro, But Im glad this kind of shit doesnt just happen to me... thought I was a magnet for this shit, but I guess Im not alone.

Did you forget her bday or anniversary?

[LawMan018]

I mean, I don't expect her to make breakfast for me or anything, I'm not a dick. If she wants to great! If not that's fine I'll make my own. Every other time she has made breakfast she's always made eggs, bacon, potatoes or pancakes, or even muffins! Hence why I asked... And come on, she knows I'm going to the gym... a muffin preworkout? I think to feel better I'm going to go slap a woman's butt, dine and dash, and take some sustanon and beat some people up.

[LawMan018]

Sorry to hear bro, But Im glad this kind of shit doesnt just happen to me... thought I was a magnet for this shit, but I guess Im not alone.

Did you forget her bday or anniversary?

Not even... It was our one year anniversary not too long ago... Had her wake up to some flowers and a nice sappy love card! Given I had to work a 12 hour day because I got my leave cancelled... I do my best damnit!

[cherrydrpepper]

YESS another lawman thread lol

Personally I would go to the store after work and pick up just a few things like fresh fruit, whatever her favorite grain based morning food is (cream of wheat, irish oatmeal etc), bacon and whatever else I needed and I would make her the most extravagant breakfast tomorrow and say some flowery shit about how I just wanted to show her I appreciate her. Maybe even make waffles if you have a waffle iron and are skilled.

[Knockout_Power]

hmmm, maybe tell her supper is on you and then when she gets home have one of those mini microwave pizzas on a plate for her.

[NMacFar]

YESS another lawman thread lol

Personally I would go to the store after work and pick up just a few things like fresh fruit, whatever her favorite grain based morning food is (cream of wheat, irish oatmeal etc), bacon and whatever else I needed and I would make her the most extravagant breakfast tomorrow and say some flowery shit about how I just wanted to show her I appreciate her. Maybe even make waffles if you have a waffle iron and are skilled.

The man can't even get some eggs while helping her out and you think he should cook her waffles?!?!

[cherrydrpepper]

The man can't even get some eggs while helping her out and you think he should cook her waffles?!?!

After you make her the waffles, offer to do the laundry. Tear open her shirt and pull her panties down and start f ing her on the dryer. I guarantee you will get more than just some muffins next time.

[Knockout_Power]

After you make her the waffles, offer to do the laundry. Tear open her shirt and pull her panties down and start f ing her on the dryer. I guarantee you will get more than just some muffins next time.

this is so fukken embarrassing, I just got half wood reading this...

I can see it now:

Dear Penthouse letters...

[DSM4Life]

Ask her if you can have your balls back.

[Nooomoto]

Stop mowing the lawn. Tell her if she's gonna catch an attitude about how you do it, she can do it herself.

[D3m3nt3d]

I used to say happy wife happy life too - got me nowhere but used my friend.

Women have a way of pushing blame on you, even if you haven't done shit. She is obviously frustrated at you anyway.

[LawMan018]

Ask her if you can have your balls back.

Hey I'd rather have her have my balls than a set herself

[SEAviator]

wtf wow........

you can bare this shit? how? HOW?

[Stigmata101]

You did something wrong....and shes pissed about it...something small like leave the toilet seat up, or left bread crumbs in the butter, or used her conditioner for lube while jerkin off in the shower and didn't close the lid properly allowing a minute amount of water to seep in and dilute its effectiveness, or let the dishwasher run out of that blue shit you put in the door that some how eliminates spotty dishes, or didn't clean the lid on the ketchup bottle and the little bit at the end where it comes out dried into a scummy looking layer, or woke her in her sleep because of your snoring, or forgot to put a new garbage bag in the garbage can after you took it upon yourself to take out the trash without being told to, or you took out the trash too early cause there was still room in it, or didn't completely rinse out the sink after shaving leaving a few stray wiskers, or forgot to use a fabric softener when you did the laundry, or were listening to the TV too loud, or were watching TV for that matter, or she caught you checkin out her mom and feels too akward to talk about it, or you ate popcorn, or you took 5 minutes of alone time which didn't include her, or your left bicep looks bigger than your right when the sun hits it just right, or you were slurping when you should have been sipping, or after you cleaned the whole house from top to bottom you forgot to dust the light fixtures on the ceiling, or when you were giving her a back rub you don't do it like the massage specialist who went to school for 10 years and makes more in one day than you make in a month, or you let her paint your nails and put mascara and lipstick on and do your hair and wear her sexy black panties and lingerie top but you drew the line when she asked you to try on her high heels, or maybe you just didn't do anything.

[Knockout_Power]

You did something wrong....and shes pissed about it...something small like leave the toilet seat up, or left bread crumbs in the butter, or used her conditioner for lube while jerkin off in the shower and didn't close the lid properly allowing a minute amount of water to seep in and dilute its effectiveness, or let the dishwasher run out of that blue shit you put in the door that some how eliminates spotty dishes, or didn't clean the lid on the ketchup bottle and the little bit at the end where it comes out dried into a scummy looking layer, or woke her in her sleep because of your snoring, or forgot to put a new garbage bag in the garbage can after you took it upon yourself to take out the trash without being told to, or you took out the trash too early cause there was still room in it, or didn't completely rinse out the sink after shaving leaving a few stray wiskers, or forgot to use a fabric softener when you did the laundry, or were listening to the TV too loud, or were watching TV for that matter, or she caught you checkin out her mom and feels too akward to talk about it, or you ate popcorn, or you took 5 minutes of alone time which didn't include her, or your left bicep looks bigger than your right when the sun hits it just right, or you were slurping when you should have been sipping, or after you cleaned the whole house from top to bottom you forgot to dust the light fixtures on the ceiling, or when you were giving her a back rub you don't do it like the massage specialist who went to school for 10 years and makes more in one day than you make in a month, or you let her paint your nails and put mascara and lipstick on and do your hair and wear her sexy black panties and lingerie top but you drew the line when she asked you to try on her high heels, or maybe you just didn't do anything.

anyone who writes this much must be right... I havent read it, but OP, Im sure it makes sense.

[Hazard]

YESS another lawman thread lol

Personally I would go to the store after work and pick up just a few things like fresh fruit, whatever her favorite grain based morning food is (cream of wheat, irish oatmeal etc), bacon and whatever else I needed and I would make her the most extravagant breakfast tomorrow and say some flowery shit about how I just wanted to show her I appreciate her. Maybe even make waffles if you have a waffle iron and are skilled.

OH HELL FVCKING NO..... her ass can sit in the bedroom and sulk for 2 weeks..... he better not go out of his way for her until she apologizes..... fvck that.

To the OP..... you've got right now what every married man wants..... alone time! Friggin take this time to get your own shit done..... don't talk to her.... leave her be..... and enjoy the time without her mouth.

~Haz~

[cherrydrpepper]

You did something wrong....and shes pissed about it...something small like leave the toilet seat up, or left bread crumbs in the butter, or used her conditioner for lube while jerkin off in the shower and didn't close the lid properly allowing a minute amount of water to seep in and dilute its effectiveness, or let the dishwasher run out of that blue shit you put in the door that some how eliminates spotty dishes, or didn't clean the lid on the ketchup bottle and the little bit at the end where it comes out dried into a scummy looking layer, or woke her in her sleep because of your snoring, or forgot to put a new garbage bag in the garbage can after you took it upon yourself to take out the trash without being told to, or you took out the trash too early cause there was still room in it, or didn't completely rinse out the sink after shaving leaving a few stray wiskers, or forgot to use a fabric softener when you did the laundry, or were listening to the TV too loud, or were watching TV for that matter, or she caught you checkin out her mom and feels too akward to talk about it, or you ate popcorn, or you took 5 minutes of alone time which didn't include her, or your left bicep looks bigger than your right when the sun hits it just right, or you were slurping when you should have been sipping, or after you cleaned the whole house from top to bottom you forgot to dust the light fixtures on the ceiling, or when you were giving her a back rub you don't do it like the massage specialist who went to school for 10 years and makes more in one day than you make in a month, or you let her paint your nails and put mascara and lipstick on and do your hair and wear her sexy black panties and lingerie top but you drew the line when she asked you to try on her high heels, or maybe you just didn't do anything.

Holy shit you pretty much said it all. Now why don't women get how redonkulus this is.

[NMacFar]

anyone who writes this much must be right... I havent read it, but OP, Im sure it makes sense.

HAHAHAHAHA. KP, you are too much sometimes.

[vanduhl]

anyone who writes this much must be right... I havent read it, but OP, Im sure it makes sense.

yeah i second that....long paragraphs automatically trigger the "wow this guy knows his shit" feeling...i didnt read it either but well done stigmata ur a smart guy

[ghettoboyd]

yeah i second that....long paragraphs automatically trigger the "wow this guy knows his shit" feeling...i didnt read it either but well done stigmata ur a smart guy

well i read it and its actually quite funny....the point he was making is that he could have done anything big or small and woman get all pissy....they keep score as any married man knows so when the balence tips in a mans favor the bitch switch kicks in.....then they try to cut us off from sex or whatever will upset us to get us back and even the score so to speak....

[D3m3nt3d]

You did something wrong....and shes pissed about it...something small like leave the toilet seat up, or left bread crumbs in the butter, or used her conditioner for lube while jerkin off in the shower and didn't close the lid properly allowing a minute amount of water to seep in and dilute its effectiveness, or let the dishwasher run out of that blue shit you put in the door that some how eliminates spotty dishes, or didn't clean the lid on the ketchup bottle and the little bit at the end where it comes out dried into a scummy looking layer, or woke her in her sleep because of your snoring, or forgot to put a new garbage bag in the garbage can after you took it upon yourself to take out the trash without being told to, or you took out the trash too early cause there was still room in it, or didn't completely rinse out the sink after shaving leaving a few stray wiskers, or forgot to use a fabric softener when you did the laundry, or were listening to the TV too loud, or were watching TV for that matter, or she caught you checkin out her mom and feels too akward to talk about it, or you ate popcorn, or you took 5 minutes of alone time which didn't include her, or your left bicep looks bigger than your right when the sun hits it just right, or you were slurping when you should have been sipping, or after you cleaned the whole house from top to bottom you forgot to dust the light fixtures on the ceiling, or when you were giving her a back rub you don't do it like the massage specialist who went to school for 10 years and makes more in one day than you make in a month, or you let her paint your nails and put mascara and lipstick on and do your hair and wear her sexy black panties and lingerie top but you drew the line when she asked you to try on her high heels, or maybe you just didn't do anything.

Still having problems with the wife huh?

[vanduhl]

well i read it and its actually quite funny....the point he was making is that he could have done anything big or small and woman get all pissy....they keep score as any married man knows so when the balence tips in a mans favor the bitch switch kicks in.....then they try to cut us off from sex or whatever will upset us to get us back and even the score so to speak....

i just read it LMAO....it is pretty good

[ghettoboyd]

actually i should have said some women cus my wife is actually quite cool and has never cut me off from sex, we tend to call each other out when one of us has there nickers in a twist and that starts a convorsation about wtf is up, we resolve the issue and all is well...

[Hazard]

well i read it and its actually quite funny....the point he was making is that he could have done anything big or small and woman get all pissy....they keep score as any married man knows so when the balence tips in a mans favor the bitch switch kicks in.....then they try to cut us off from sex or whatever will upset us to get us back and even the score so to speak....

Spoken like a true married man.....

women suck.....

~Haz~

[calgarian]

Spoken like a true married man.....

women suck.....

~Haz~

not in a good way

[Hazard]

actually i should have said some women cus my wife is actually quite cool and has never cut me off from sex, we tend to call each other out when one of us has there nickers in a twist and that starts a convorsation about wtf is up, we resolve the issue and all is well...

Spoken like a true married man who's wife logs online and reads his posts.....

~Haz~

[ghettoboyd]

Spoken like a true married man.....

women suck.....

~Haz~

amen brotha' exept for the ones that love sex.....

[ghettoboyd]

Spoken like a true married man who's wife logs online and reads his posts.....

~Haz~

ha ha no man im just lucky i guess...i got me a good one....been together 17 years and im still crazy about her....

[calgarian]

ha ha no man im just lucky i guess...i got me a good one....been together 17 years and im just CRAZY....

fixed

[ghettoboyd]

fixed

lmfao.....ya bastid'....

[calgarian]

lmfao.....ya bastid'....

yeah sorry couldn't let that crap go on

[Stigmata101]

Still having problems with the wife huh?

yup.....

[calgarian]

yup.....

want my help? gimme a call if u want let me know i will pm u my #

[MACHINE5150]

actually i should have said some women cus my wife is actually quite cool and has never cut me off from sex, we tend to call each other out when one of us has there nickers in a twist and that starts a convorsation about wtf is up, we resolve the issue and all is well...

not all woman.. just 99.99% of them..

my advice.. ignore it and forget it.. tomorrow is a brand new day.. try and talk to her or do anyting special could possibly piss her off more.. it might have nothing to do with you.. women are just moody.. just forget about it and carry on like normal.. if she is still bitchy in a few more days than ask her.

[Stigmata101]

want my help? gimme a call if u want let me know i will pm u my #

I'll have to ask for permission first.....

[D3m3nt3d]

yup.....

Bro I will be honest. It sucks at first, it's damn hard times. I am only a month in and I've wanted to break down and beg that girl back. But, I think of everything she done to me with no remorse, and everything I did for her to show I loved her. I think of all the stories she has told me, and now I don't know what was true and what wasn't, because you second guess EVERYTHING...even the most innocent of things.

It's best to just let it go, get the hell out, and let time heal it. That is no life to live. It sucks right now for me, but it's better in the long run.

[Stigmata101]

Bro I will be honest. It sucks at first, it's damn hard times. I am only a month in and I've wanted to break down and beg that girl back. But, I think of everything she done to me with no remorse, and everything I did for her to show I loved her. I think of all the stories she has told me, and now I don't know what was true and what wasn't, because you second guess EVERYTHING...even the most innocent of things.

It's best to just let it go, get the hell out, and let time heal it. That is no life to live. It sucks right now for me, but it's better in the long run.

nope...Im gonna torture myself to the bitter end....plus the more pissed off i get the more i can lift