Emails from an asshole!

[Atomini]

This guy goes on craigslist and fvcks with people purposely and trolls them to get awesome reactions, check them out:

http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php

My favorite one:

Original ad:
I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!
From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org
Hey,

I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.

My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don't need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm.

I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don't worry, I'll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren't familiar with one.

You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment.

The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won't see them.

I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start?

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie,

I'm sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can't give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don't want to pass up on this great job opportunity.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me
No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********
Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.

[digismash]

I laughed so effing hard I got the hickups LOL

[maxdose]

LOL! Hes a good button pusher.

[cherrydrpepper]

Oh my god lol when the convo went south i cracked up

[stack_it]

Lmfao. Great post

[xlxBigSexyxlx]

hahahahaha

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. good stuff!

[ReX357]

That sh*t is pretty funny.

[Vettester]

Oh man is that good stuff!!!

[kiki123]

funny stuff, I found a couple that were really good.

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=76
http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=48

[stevey_6t9]

haah brilliant i love it.

[SuperBird]

thats the best laugh ive had all day. nice post.

[Atomini]

funny stuff, i found a couple that were really good.

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=76
http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=48

a little about myself: I love taking care of dogs and shit

lmao

[ReX357]

I've been reading this sh*t since last night, this is pure comedy.

[matt77]

This one cracks me up! Damn vegans

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=78

[Walnutz]

I read a few of those and they are hilarious.

[Atomini]

This one cracks me up! Damn vegans

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=78

lol I love that one, it's brilliant!

Well, I am a 24 year old male, and I am currently make a living by being employed. It pays well.

[giblets]

That's class, LOL.

[warchild]

sooo fn funny. id do it

[DCI]

Man, you have ruined my extra hour in bed now. gonna be up all night readin this shit.

[DCI]

This one is epic the last reply

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=81

[Atomini]

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=82

From me to josh *******:

Great! There is a pine tree that has been bothering me and I want it cut down. You won't have to remove it. It hasn't been a problem until about two years ago when it got much taller. My problem with it is that it is obscuring the view to my neighbor's upstairs bathroom window. I used to have a perfect view of the neighbor's wife changing in the bathroom every day. She had great tits and an ass that was out of this world. It really completed my morning whenever I caught a glimpse of her. Now that this damn pine tree is in the way, I can't see a thing.

If you could go onto my neighbor's property and cut the tree down while they are at work, I will let you take the grill that is outside on their patio. I'm not sure what brand it is, but it is a gigantic propane grill. It looks really nice.

[DCI]

Ohh man that hot tub one is hilarious.

[spoken_truth]

haha awesome

[Bigdog99]

OMG that is the funniest thing I have seen in years..>> thanks for posting

[boz]

bahahahahahha genius

[paulzane]

Very very good ... thanks for the link

[Tambit24]

landscaper for grill is hands down the funniest.

[Atomini]

What would be funny is if someone actually went along with him once.