disgusting jokes..

[Tambit24]

gang rape joke was wicked funny. Can't wait to spread that one around the work place. Crib death... not so much.

[carp123]

2 faggots in a bath ,one says , have you farted ,the other says ,no why? he replys ,i can smell cum...

[gettingthere]

Sorry for bumping an old thread here, i was just wondering where our buddy skyler had gone.....and now i know!

Now in his previous threads, i felt nobody wanted to upset the guy, and i wouldnt want to either. He seemed quite a nice guy, but a little mad sometimes.

After reading that terrible rant, quite frankly your a twat skyler if you think that everybody on here are retards or whatever you said i couldnt be bothered re reading that crap. Have a bit of respect that people come here and want to learn and are learning by the day, and the amount of people on here that are in better shape than you and would beat you on stage is high. What gives you the right to talk about our members like that? Yes some people go a little over board on their knowledge etc, but they are trying to help.

All you did in the weeks leading up to you leaving was go on and on and on about how you had a row with a woman in a parking lock and because you were on active duty that gave you the right to scream at her....GROW THE HELL UP

Sorry for the rant but that just simply annoys me

[calgarian]

Sorry for bumping an old thread here, i was just wondering where our buddy skyler had gone.....and now i know!

Now in his previous threads, i felt nobody wanted to upset the guy, and i wouldnt want to either. He seemed quite a nice guy, but a little mad sometimes.

After reading that terrible rant, quite frankly your a twat skyler if you think that everybody on here are retards or whatever you said i couldnt be bothered re reading that crap. Have a bit of respect that people come here and want to learn and are learning by the day, and the amount of people on here that are in better shape than you and would beat you on stage is high. What gives you the right to talk about our members like that? Yes some people go a little over board on their knowledge etc, but they are trying to help.

All you did in the weeks leading up to you leaving was go on and on and on about how you had a row with a woman in a parking lock and because you were on active duty that gave you the right to scream at her....GROW THE HELL UP

Sorry for the rant but that just simply annoys me

why Irish always show up late???

[Matt]

Sorry for bumping an old thread here, i was just wondering where our buddy skyler had gone.....and now i know!

Now in his previous threads, i felt nobody wanted to upset the guy, and i wouldnt want to either. He seemed quite a nice guy, but a little mad sometimes.

After reading that terrible rant, quite frankly your a twat skyler if you think that everybody on here are retards or whatever you said i couldnt be bothered re reading that crap. Have a bit of respect that people come here and want to learn and are learning by the day, and the amount of people on here that are in better shape than you and would beat you on stage is high. What gives you the right to talk about our members like that? Yes some people go a little over board on their knowledge etc, but they are trying to help.

All you did in the weeks leading up to you leaving was go on and on and on about how you had a row with a woman in a parking lock and because you were on active duty that gave you the right to scream at her....GROW THE HELL UP

Sorry for the rant but that just simply annoys me

You tell him GT...

[MACHINE5150]

A Jewish girl goes up to her Jewish Dad and says "Daddy, Daddy, can i have twenty dollars." To which he exclaims "Ten dollars!!! What do you need five dollars for??"

[stack_it]

What happened when the Jew walked into a wall with a boner?



He broke his nose!

[MACHINE5150]

A chinese guy and a jewish guy are sitting at a bar. After a few drinks the jewish guy turns to the chinese guy and punches him in the face. The Chinese guy gets back up off the rgound and says "Ohhhhhh what that for?" To which the jewish guy replies.. "Thats for Pearl Harbor." The China man replies "Pearl Harbor, that was the Japanese, I am Chinese" The jew looks at him and says.. "Chinese, Japanese... all the same to me"

A few drinks later and the Chinese guy turns around and decks the Jew right off of his stool. The Jewish guy says "Ahhhhhh, What the hell was that for?" The chinese guys says.. "that was for the Titanic." Confused, the jew says the "Titanic hit an iceberg" To which the China man says "Iceberg, Goldberg, Steinberg, all the same to me."

[MACHINE5150]

A young whale living in the Irish sea had dreamt of moving to America his whole life. After contimplating it for many years he finally decided to make the journey accross the atlantic. After a couple days of swimming with out rest he decided to take a nap. He was awoken moments later by a huge older whale about three times his size. The old whale says "What the fvck do you think you are doing? you can't sleep here these are my waters, no one sleeps here or eats here with out my permission." The young whale was exhausted and pleaded with the older whale "Surely mister there must be something that I can do for you so i can get some rest." The old whale sits there for a minute and finally says, okay little whale I got something for you. He motions to the top of the water and says "You see that fishing boat up there, well they are eating my fish. I want you to suck in as much water as possible swim up underneath the fishing boat and blow all the water out of your blow hole so that you knock their boat over." The little whale sucks in the water gets right underneath the boat and knocks it over as he was asked to do.. He then comes back down to deeper waters and starts to nod off again. The old whale bumps into him again and says, "your not through yet.. you see all those fisherman swimming around, i want you to go eat a few of them." The young whale looks at the older whale and says "Hey mister, when i signed up for the blow job you didn't say anything about swallowing any seamen"

[MACHINE5150]

I heard this one over the weekend and figured i would throw it up here:

What did the Jewish pedophile say to the child?

Wanna buy some candy?

[BigJuice777]

How about a poem?

I fvcked an old gal in the graveyard,
God Dam her ol' soul she was dead.
Maggots crawled out of her asshole,
and the hairs fell off her head.

When I finished my job there.....
I seen I've committed a sin.
So out of my pocket I drew me a straw,
and sucked out the load I shot in.

Sorry

[MACHINE5150]

Been a while and i found a few more... these are pretty bad.

How is knocking up your girlfriend like locking your keys out of your car?
The problem goes away with the aid of a coathangar.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb, the other to suck my dick.

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.

What do a tightrope walker and a young man getting head off his granny have in common?
Neither look down.

Why does an elephant have four feet?
Six inches isn't enough.

What's brown and hides in the attic?
The Diarrhoea Of Anne Franks.

What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.

[Bojangles69]

I'm kinda curious but do professional comedians ever tell jokes about child molestation/rape? Not to bring the topic up again but has anyone ever seen it?

I know I've seen a lot of comedy, some extremely dirty, and can't recall ever hearing it. Even the "low class" comedians like lisa lampanelli. Has to be a reason
they avoid it lol.

[Matt]

Theres a Scottish comedian called Frankie Boyle who often jokes about such things....^^^^^^^

[MACHINE5150]

I thought i delted those out of there.. sorry.. i know i was already warned..

as for Bojangles ?... yes, because when you are in your mid twenties or younger, and don't have kids than the jokes are funny.. the minute you have kids you don't laugh at them anymore..

Here is George Carlin's opinion on jokes about rape:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcFry...has_verified=1

[X83]

.............................

[fishizzle0927]

bojangles you ever watch family guy???? you kinda gotta read between the lines

[MACHINE5150]

i just remembered another one...

A guy is walking down the street when he sees a kid sitting on his porch crying.
The man walks up to him and says "hey lad, why are you crying?"
The kid replies: "My mother has been real sick lately and she just passed away"
The man says: "oh son, i am so sorry to hear about that, should i call a preist over?"
Kid goes "No, I can't think about sex at a timme like this."

[BJJ]

^^^
"jokes" spring from reality, unfortunately

[fishizzle0927]

hope i dont cross the line......

nevermind guess i did????

[Hunter]

....

[MACHINE5150]

^^^^I got reemed at the begining of this thread because of those type of jokes.. i recomend you delete before you too recieve a bunch of hate mail

[9za4ck4]

is a april fools joke/ dead baby joke ok? if so i have one that is simply quite amazing

[MACHINE5150]

is a april fools joke/ dead baby joke ok? if so i have one that is simply quite amazing

i think it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.. but i see this whole thread getting axed in no time at this rate.

[9za4ck4]

ok well here it goes if its to bad then i will edit it out


so this lady starts going into labor so shes rushed to the hospital,
this lady is pushing and pushing for hours
finally the doctor looks down and sees the baby starting to come out
she pushes and pushes
then finally the baby comes out the doctor picks it up
and throws the baby down and starts stomping and stomping on it
the lady freaks out and it like what the fvck are you doing to my baby!!!!!!!
the doctor looks up smiling and says "APRIL FOOLS it was already dead!"

and thats my joke for the day

[MACHINE5150]

hahaha.. good one

[9za4ck4]

i thought so

[fishizzle0927]

hahaha omg thats awsome! can i get in trouble for laughing?

[9za4ck4]

hahaha omg thats awsome! can i get in trouble for laughing?

naw share it with friends and family they will laugh to...

[MACHINE5150]

these are not as funny but decided to share anyways:

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....


I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As
I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I
thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!


I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I
could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Went around to a friend's house today. His wife was sat there with
their new-born baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it. I thought
that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead..

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea
move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The
driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I
thought to myself ‘that guy's heading for a breakdown.’

A wife of a fisherman in Nova Scotia kept bugging her husband to bring her along for a week out at see. The man was tired of his wifes nagging and finally caved in. While out at sea a huge squall washed the wife overboard, and the fisherman and his crew were unable to find her. A few days later the fisherman was approached by the crew of a crabbing boat and they came to him and said:
"Hey bud, we got good news, and we got bad news, which do you want to hear first?"
The fisherman replied.. well i suppose give me the bad news first
to which they replied "Well, we found your wife, we drug her up from the bottom of the ocean, and i am sorry to say, but she is dead. Well, when we pulled her up she had three king crabs, two large lobsters and about half a dozen blue crabs attached to her.""
The fisherman started sobbing and said.. "Well what the hell could the good news be??"
The other crew said "Well, the good news is that we tossed her back and are gonna pull her back up in three more days!!!"

[MBMETC]

^^^ booo be more funny

[MACHINE5150]

^^^ booo be more funny

I ran out of good ones.. i gave a warning that these weren't very funny.. most my best jokes would get me banned from here

[stack_it]

A cardinals fan, a cubs fan, and a Yankee fan are climbing a mountain when they start arguing about who's the biggest fan. When they get to the top, to show his support, the Yankee fan yells "this is for you New York" and jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone the cardinals fan yells "this is for you St Louis" and pushes the cubs fan off the mountain....