What wouldn't be like me?
Are you saying I type a lot?
Or maybe you're saying I don't type enough. I can't really be sure either way, so I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
One day I was walking down the street, a black street, (I should mention a paved black street), and the street had curbs.
I was trying to cross and tripped over the curb. After I tripped I fell. And when I fell my body hit the ground. And when
I hit the ground I made a loud noise. When I made a loud noise a pedestrian heard me. And when the pedestrian heard me
they came walking over. As they were walking I looked at their shoes, and their shoes were black. Not black black but
grey black. Anyway that has nothing to do with the story.
So I was laying on the ground while the pedestrian was still walking over. And as he was walking over I asked him what time
it was. Then he lifted his arm to look at his watch, a rolex I think, a gold rolex, with diamonds... and out of nowhere BOOM
a massive 18 wheeler, or maybe 16 wheels I didn't count, smashes right into his body and his watch flies into the air.
As the watch is in the air I was looking at it, and noticed there was bird in the sky, it was also also really nice out did I mention
that? Prob not but anyway so the watch is in the air and I see it coming towards me. As it was coming towards me my balls got
itchy, so I scratched them, then out of habit I took a wiff and realized I needed a shower. But back to the story, this gold
rolex watch is in the air, and I'm watching it come right at me, at this point its almost half way there. I'm thinking "damn
when is this fvckn watch gonna fall?!" And then I got hungry, so I went and got some sushi. At the sushi bar this hot little
asian bitch tells me I'm sexy. Or was it "hot"? I don't really remember. But anyway its not important. Whats important is I got my
sushi. And then I ate it. After I ate it you won't believe what happened next! I got up and went walking over to the garbage,
and threw my trash away. So this is when the story gets really good. I get a bit of wasabi sauce on my hands and notice
my balls are still itchy. I go to scratch my ballz and ZOMG! did that shit burn. So at this point I unzip my pants, and run over
to the asian waitress, and ask her "how do I get wasabi sauces off my testicles"? She says "don't worry I know what to do".
So this asian bitch, who works at a sushi restaraunt, (did I mention that part?) gets on her knees and blows me. After shes
done I give her a nice tip, then go back out to the street. So the watch is still in the air and I lie down on the road in the same
position I was in before. But I don't think I mentioned the position cuz thats important. It was like fetal position but perfectly
straight. I was standing as I was also laying on the ground. Ok no I mean I was on the ground but I looked like I was standing.
I should prob delete that last part but it really adds to the suspense. So anyway a car ran over me and I died. The end.
Oh and one more thing real quick. Anytime I write a post in regular mode, than go to advanced it fvcks up the formating. I'm not sure why that happens, but it happens. Although it doesn't happen all the time just sometimes. And I know I can go in and backspace everything so it looks normal, but I don't. And the reason I don't is because it takes too much time. Time is a very precious thing for me, which is why I always try to keep my posts as short as possible. Because if I make them long I waste time, and if I waste time then I can't perform open heart surgery on little boys and girls who need my help. I should prob mention its not always little boys and girls, sometimes its adults, other times its puppies. Did I mention I'm a vet too? I live a very busy life. Ok have a nice day.
