Plz help, I've lost it!

**Uncle$** · 02-01-2011, 04:07 AM

I'm going through divorce, that's not what has me in tears though... I hooked up with a girl last night, she invited me to were she bartends at, I went... Later her bf showed up which I didn't know, she kicks me out... The bouncer took me out and called a cab. I told him about being in Iraq, I died but got revived, I had 2 of my buddies die in my arms I watched their eyes go shut, I had another friend get sniped who is now a vegetable. The guy told me he didn't give a shit and to shut my mouth. I wanted to kill him but because I was drunk I just started balling, they had family, Kids, wives, etc, how could this guy they died for disrespect them like that? I reached for my blade to slit his throat but for the first night in my life it wasn't in my pocket, I just balled up and wept like a baby over my fallen buddies, I'm just really down right now and would like to talk to sum1. If you don't mind sum1 message me so I can call and talk to sum1 I'm really hurting right now.

Send me back to Iraq asap, it should have been me, not my buddies! I can't believe the disrespect, I might hate the govt and Obama but soldiers are just fellow men, wtf

I know I was kept alive for a reason though, I was an atheist, but when I died I went to he'll, God brought me back though. I was telling a guy about God in the bar, that's what got me kicked out, they said I couldn't talk about my death in army and God, WTF?

**9za4ck4** · 02-01-2011, 04:22 AM

sounds pretty rough friend, thru the bad keep your head up

**Uncle$** · 02-01-2011, 04:28 AM

Well guys, I'm sorry, my bad, prob made myself out to be some weird ass now, was just venting, was just a bad night.

**9za4ck4** · 02-01-2011, 04:31 AM

Originally Posted by Uncle$

Well guys, I'm sorry, my bad, prob made myself out to be some weird ass now, was just venting, was just a bad night.

ahhh everyone has there bad nights it happens, cant let f**king a**holes get ya down is all

**marcus300** · 02-01-2011, 04:33 AM

Its good to express yourself, sometimes talking or writing things down can help in some form of release. Sounds like you have had a rough time and you have some issues to get over, it may help if you went talking to someone professional to see if these issues can be overcome. I guarantee in time things will get better but dont mask the pain with alcohol or drugs that will only make things worse.

How is your life now?
what are your plans for the future?

**RaZr** · 02-01-2011, 04:34 AM

I'm also a vet and trust me nobody can nor would want to understand the type of things that we go through, I'm with you buddy.

**RaZr** · 02-01-2011, 04:36 AM

I also don't want to assume anything but if you really need help this is always available
1-800-273-TALK, Veterans Press 1

**Uncle$** · 02-01-2011, 04:37 AM

I'm currently out in irr, testing with the state patrol and prisons aka the DOC. Just trying to get a good civilian career going now.

**auslifta** · 02-01-2011, 05:05 AM

When you are in the state of mind you are in, it's best not to drink. It only makes things worse, makes you do things you should'nt or would'nt normally do. Don't feel ashamed to let go sometimes. You will get through this a better man. Don't ruin your life or someone else's, it would be a disrespect to your commrads. They gave the ultimate sacrifice, and i'm sure they would like you to get back on track and enjoy your freedom. Goodluck.

**38jumper38** · 02-01-2011, 11:19 AM

I'm glad you didn't found the knife......wish you the best................

**JohnnyVegas** · 02-01-2011, 12:53 PM

Hang in there. And don't worry what a bouncer or any other stranger thinks or says...some people just don't want to listen, and it has nothing to do with what you are actually saying. Also, bouncers DO NOT make the best councilors. Heh.

And thanks for your service!

**chi** · 02-01-2011, 01:15 PM

hey man i respect you and thank you for fighting for us and protecting our peace. Seems like your in a fragile emotional state and alcohol and bars are not the best choices for your frame of mind. Exercise and nutrition is a great equalizer to which many here will attest. I am prone to depression and have suffered some trauma, nowhere near yours, but nevertheless it is not a good place to be. The bouncer and the girl with the b/f that invited you to the bar are probably not the type of people you need to be around since it sounds like a negative environment. Remember when you hang around with garbage you start to stink. I find being around positive people and positive environments is contagious like the flu and vice versa. First it would be wise as mentioned to address some of the issues you currently have as war may have left you with PST and that is not something to fool with. I wish you the best of luck and also remember there is someone on the forum always online in case you want to shoot the poop.

Chi

**yungone501** · 02-02-2011, 01:08 PM

Damn bro, sorry that you feel so down. That is alot for one person to have to go through and many of us fall victim to drugs and alcohol during this time. As others have mentioned, stay away from those surroundings cause they will only make the matter worse. I was incacerated many years ago and lost everything including the birth of my son and his first few years. Me, being in prison, made me feel horrible and inadequate as a father, etc... However, i (by the grace of God) realized that this was the oppurtinity i needed to become the man i was suppose to be. Things happen for a reason, as you said, there is a purpose for you (everyone) and going through diffcult times helps to reveal what/who you really are. My heart goes out to you brother! I, personally, would like to say that things WILL get better in time. And that one day, a Light will be illuminated and give you understanding. Stay strong my friend, you're here for something big.

**paulzane** · 02-03-2011, 03:15 AM

In times of crisis I find that the best thing to do is to stay off the bottle. Now in my lifetime I have probably already drunk enough for two or even three lifetimes so I am not a non drinker. It is just that when things go to sh1t I find that the bottle will do more harm than good.

Not many people who have drunk to forget do actually forget!!

**Tigershark** · 02-03-2011, 04:46 AM

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. Expressing yourself here can help. You got plenty of bros here that will listen.

**Times Roman** · 02-04-2011, 07:17 AM

my walking buddy went to 'nam... although he doesn't like to talk about it, he said going to the VA for group counsilling helped him get over it..... but you never really get over it