Jokes Part 5

[tolinka]

A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller,

"I want to open a fucking checking account".

"Please sir", she replies, "we can't have language like that in here."

"Why the Fuck not?" he asked.

"Sir," Came her retort, "I must ask you to refrain from swearing."

"I don't give a shit what you want," he answers, "I just want to open a fucking checking account."

With this the teller leaves and returns in a moment with her branch manager.

The manager asks if he might be able to help the gentleman.

"Shit yes", came the reply, "I just won 14 million dollars in the lottery and want to open a fucking checking account."

The branch manager says, "I see, and this stupid, fucking, bitch is giving you a hard time?"

(Is that what happned to to you...Rich8888?)

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Little Johnny and his father came across his puppy, dead in the back yard.
Daddy explained that Buddy had gone to heaven. "So why are his legs sticking
up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Little Johnny, as he fought back
tears. At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Buddy's legs are
pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to take
him by the leg and lift him up to heaven."Little Johnny seemed to take
Buddy's death quite well. However, two days later when his father came home
from work, Little Johnny had tears in his eyes as he said, "Mommy almost
died this morning." Fearing something terrible had happened, his father
questioned, "What do you mean Johnny? Tell Daddy!" "Well", mumbled Little
Johnny, "Soon after you left for work this morning I saw Mommy lying on the
floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, 'Oh Jesus! I'm coming,
I'm coming!' And, if it hadn't been for the neighbor who was holding her
down, she would have gone to Heaven just like Buddy did."

[Tankass]

LOL!