Dealing with violent, psycho exes

**Flagg** · 03-02-2011, 11:44 AM

Has anyone ever known anyone, or has anyone had a problem with a psycho ex before?

An old girlfriend of mine is having a really serious issue with the last guy she dated. I'm actually too paranoid to go into many details incase he somehow finds out through here (even though im 99% sure he couldn't possibly come here) and it exasperates the problem. If anyone could help in anyway, or has had a similiar problem, please PM me and i'll go into more details. He's gotten in contact with me and threatened me and is now threatening her life and she is terrified on a daily basis.

Im really, really fearful for her.

EDIT: Before anyone wonders why im not stepping up to the plate to deal with this guy, its an old girlfriend from my days of travelling and we're in totally different countries at the moment. And nothing would give me greater joy that burying a sledge hammer in this cvnts face.

**Matt** · 03-02-2011, 11:51 AM

I would go and beat him to an inch of his life and im being serious mate...

**Flagg** · 03-02-2011, 11:53 AM

Originally Posted by Matt

I would go and beat him to an inch of his life and im being serious mate...

I cant mate, I edited my first post. Me and her don't live in the same country. I feel utterly powerless.

**Hazard** · 03-02-2011, 11:58 AM

whats the problem with her going to the police and getting a restraining order? Is she afraid he'll come after her anyways?

~Haz~

**Flagg** · 03-02-2011, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

whats the problem with her going to the police and getting a restraining order? Is she afraid he'll come after her anyways?

~Haz~

Pretty much. This guy has gone fruitloops nutso on her. She's scared getting the police and courts involved will make him worse but she is none the less going to attempt to get a restraining order. He is telling her that she doesn't have enough proof. I cant tell you how much I hate this person.

**JohnnyVegas** · 03-02-2011, 12:02 PM

Violence = no.

Police = yes.

I know getting physically involved is impossible because you are in another country, but it is never a good idea.

Him telling her that she doesn't have enough proof is just him continuing to control her. People like that need to be separated from the rest of society.

**Hazard** · 03-02-2011, 12:07 PM

Originally Posted by Flagg

Pretty much. This guy has gone fruitloops nutso on her. She's scared getting the police and courts involved will make him worse but she is none the less going to attempt to get a restraining order. He is telling her that she doesn't have enough proof. I cant tell you how much I hate this person.

Have her tell them everything and if you are willing to talk to them - have her tell them they can reach out to you because you've been threatened. Maybe with your help she can get one. This is also just my opinion..... but if I was her..... i'd keep a firearm on me at home just incase. I know it doesn't help her in public but if this guy is a fruit loop - she'd be best to have something to equalize his size incase he breaks in.

An alarm on the house might not be a bad idea either.....

~Haz~

**Flagg** · 03-02-2011, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

Have her tell them everything and if you are willing to talk to them - have her tell them they can reach out to you because you've been threatened. Maybe with your help she can get one. This is also just my opinion..... but if I was her..... i'd keep a firearm on me at home just incase. I know it doesn't help her in public but if this guy is a fruit loop - she'd be best to have something to equalize his size incase he breaks in.

An alarm on the house might not be a bad idea either.....

~Haz~

She's already asked me to keep all the emails he's sent me as evidence and i've suggested she get a firearm. This guy has a gun himself which worries me even more. Yeah, an alarm might be a good idea as well. How effective would a "guard dog" be? I heard Alsations and Dobermans make good defence dogs.

**Kawigirl** · 03-02-2011, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

Violence = no.

Police = yes.

I know getting physically involved is impossible because you are in another country, but it is never a good idea.

Him telling her that she doesn't have enough proof is just him continuing to control her. People like that need to be separated from the rest of society.

I'm in aggreance with JV.....as much as you'd want to take care of it....violence...particularly domestic (whether your directly involved or not)...is NEVER a good situation.

I do know how she's feeling though. I've had a few men very aggressive after not wanting to date anylonger and as strong as I like to think i am...still never could hold my own to any man. And, the feeling as a woman..is such a sick feeling when scared.

-hugs

**Flagg** · 03-02-2011, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by Kawigirl

I'm in aggreance with JV.....as much as you'd want to take care of it....violence...particularly domestic (whether your directly involved or not)...is NEVER a good situation.

I do know how she's feeling though. I've had a few men very aggressive after not wanting to date anylonger and as strong as I like to think i am...still never could hold my own to any man. And, the feeling as a woman..is such a sick feeling when scared.

-hugs

She's the strongest woman I know and it's sickening to see how terrified she is. Her self esteem is shot to pieces.

**Hazard** · 03-02-2011, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by Flagg

She's already asked me to keep all the emails he's sent me as evidence and i've suggested she get a firearm. This guy has a gun himself which worries me even more. Yeah, an alarm might be a good idea as well. How effective would a "guard dog" be? I heard Alsations and Dobermans make good defence dogs.

If she was going to get a dog - she should get one that she really wants. Any dog should be able to hear whats outside and then bark - giving her enough time to "get prepared"

If she likes the bigger guard dogs..... all the better. I'd just hate for her to get doberman or somethig large for protection when the owner should purchase the breed that best suits her. She'll have a dog for a long time..... she should be happy with the choice. Plus if he has a gun and truely doesn't give a shit..... he'll shoot a dog that attacks him anyways.

I really feel bad for her..... hopefully she gets this straightened out.

~Haz~

**gbrice75** · 03-02-2011, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by Hazard

Have her tell them everything and if you are willing to talk to them - have her tell them they can reach out to you because you've been threatened. Maybe with your help she can get one. This is also just my opinion..... but if I was her..... i'd keep a firearm on me at home just incase. I know it doesn't help her in public but if this guy is a fruit loop - she'd be best to have something to equalize his size incase he breaks in.

An alarm on the house might not be a bad idea either.....

~Haz~

This is all good advice. The more she can protect herself and be cautious, the better.

Originally Posted by Kawigirl

I do know how she's feeling though. I've had a few men very aggressive after not wanting to date anylonger and as strong as I like to think i am...still never could hold my own to any man. And, the feeling as a woman..is such a sick feeling when scared.

-hugs

Sorry you've ever had to go through anything like this Kawi... you don't deserve it. =(

**SlimmerMe** · 03-02-2011, 01:10 PM

Gotta dry up the "ole coyote hole." Coyotes return to where they know they can be fed. But once dried up, they move on.

She needs to go some place else and seek refuge asap.

I wish her safety and my heart goes out to her.

**alexISthrowed** · 03-02-2011, 01:14 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hfLZozBVpM

**drdeath613** · 03-02-2011, 01:20 PM

what im about to say is bad and should only be done if theres no other way

tell her to get a restraining order after file a report during a time he would be sleeping meaning he would be alone

a week after filing that report do it again for around the same time but tell her to break out her own car window

this time they will pick him up and charge him

**Swifto** · 03-02-2011, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Flagg

I cant mate, I edited my first post. Me and her don't live in the same country. I feel utterly powerless.

Is she in the same country as you or him?

Get her to change all her contact information. Mobile, cull friends who may be able to view her FB that are his mates, change her home number, work number, tell the phone company's she's recieving threats, job done.

If he steps foot in this country, be sure to know about it.

Research him for hours. His job, car reg, how many kids he has, his address, mobile and home number, email, work number, boss, bank account details, etc.. gather a boat load of information and use it if you need to. Do what he is doing to her. And spend hours on it. Then play that card if you need too.

**Swifto** · 03-02-2011, 01:57 PM

Store every text, email, call and then back it up as evidence.

**bjpennnn** · 03-02-2011, 01:59 PM

give it up to the police man, you dont want to catch a case you dont need. hello problems, record and lawyer $$$$$$

**Matt** · 03-02-2011, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by Swifto

Is she in the same country as you or him?

Get her to change all her contact information. Mobile, cull friends who may be able to view her FB that are his mates, change her home number, work number, tell the phone company's she's recieving threats, job done.

If he steps foot in this country, be sure to know about it.

Research him for hours. His job, car reg, how many kids he has, his address, mobile and home number, email, work number, boss, bank account details, etc.. gather a boat load of information and use it if you need to. Do what he is doing to her. And spend hours on it. Then play that card if you need too.

I like your petrol idea better..

**calgarian** · 03-02-2011, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by Matt

I like your petrol idea better..

damn u beat me to it

**marcus300** · 03-02-2011, 04:00 PM

She needs to contact the police and so do you, it needs logging and going on PNC that you have concerns of your safety and your ex girlfriends. It doesn't matter if he is in another country he soon could be here and this could end up being a serious crime, trust me on this one! once you have a PNC number you can alert them of any increases of risk or any further developments in this situation.

**Standby** · 03-02-2011, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by Matt

I like your petrol idea better..

Originally Posted by calgarian

damn u beat me to it

haha ya when i saw he replied i was excited to read it. thought maybe a drill or something cool would be invovled

**Alphatier** · 03-02-2011, 06:32 PM

"Buck shots out the sun roof of Lexus Coupe's
Leave no witnesses, what you think this is" - B.I.G.

What a low-life c0cksucker that is, threatening women and what not. Bro, I can't tell you how much it annoyed me that you're not in the same country as this fvckhead...I can only imagine the worries!!

I like Swiftos idea, creep the creep.

Hope all turns out well!

peaZH