Decided to become a foster parent.

**Tigershark** · 03-05-2011, 09:32 AM

My fiance and I have done respite care in the past for families who needed a break from thier troubled teens. Anyway we figured why not become foster parents ourselves and last week a 15 year old boy moved in with us.
Good kid and has been in a orphange since he was 8. He gets along well with our own 15 year old but doing this before we also know about the "honeymoon factor." So we know we have not seen the real him yet.
He has some issues with building relationships since he has foster families before and usually when he feels himself getting close he will sabatoge the relationship. It's always easier for someone like him to end the relationship yourself instead of being hurt later on.
I think once he ralizes we are not going to give up on him he will good to go.
Anyway that's what's happening with us.

**38jumper38** · 03-05-2011, 09:36 AM

I know its not easy, but a least you doing some to help this one, very nice off you guys..............

**terraj** · 03-05-2011, 09:36 AM

Your wife and you are good people, the world needs more.

**Times Roman** · 03-05-2011, 09:49 AM

foster kids are really stigmatized in school as well... lady across the street was fostering a girl my daughter's age. she was very nice around me and my wife, but she would start rumors at school (my daughter late 11 early 12 at the time) she would start rumors at school that she went to the park, got drunk with some teanage boys and got pregnant. That was it for my woman. It was kinda scary. She was in the house with me, I was watching TV, she was on the other sofa waiting for my daughter to come home, (they were already on the way... maybe 5 minutes). Anyways, my woman counsils me later that night that it was a pretty stupid thing to do to have her alone in the house with me.... all she has to do is whisper to CPS that I touched her and there could be an investigation pronto! It hadn't occurred to me, I was probably watching football, and she saaid she loved the raiders.... well! what a lovely child! yes you can come in and watch the raiders until she gets home. Once my woman mentioned that, it woke me up that she was right. So I had to be real careful after that. It made me feel bad since I had to anticipate bad things happening, then plan a counter measure to prevent that from happening.

Foster kids are cool, but they are not like normal kids. It's good you have some insight into this, so maybe you are already prepared for all of this

**gbrice75** · 03-05-2011, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by terraj

Your wife and you are good people, the world needs more.

x2... God bless you guys!

**lovbyts** · 03-05-2011, 09:55 AM

Ive been talking to the wife about adopting a couple 17 yr old Asian girls but so far she wont go for it.

But for real, good for you, that's a tough decision all around and I hope it works out for the best. Hopefully he will appreciate it.

**Times Roman** · 03-05-2011, 09:59 AM

would she go for 6 Chinese girls? even though they are 22, they look 16 so that should be cool, right?

**SlimmerMe** · 03-05-2011, 10:01 AM

2 compassionate souls. Good for you both.

**Alphatier** · 03-05-2011, 10:44 AM

You guys rock, right on

**stack_it** · 03-05-2011, 11:14 AM

Hope everything works out well with the new guy. Good to see some good left in the world.

**LatissimusaurousRex** · 03-05-2011, 11:18 AM

Very kind of you!

**DFOSTER** · 03-05-2011, 12:22 PM

good stuff good luck

**MACHINE5150** · 03-05-2011, 12:49 PM

you guys are definitely good people but i question bringing in a kid that is the exact same age as your son.. that is going to cause jealousy issues for the rest of time.. i would have thought it would be better to bring in someone younger than your current child so you could always use the "he is older" card with your own boy. Especially them being fifteen, it is going to be a hard next couple years for you guys.. but god bless you for doing it.

As for TR's comment.. i don't think you will have that issue with a boy.. girls are way more likely to play that card.. but boys typically would be too embarrassed to ever admit that even if it DID happen.

**olderfella** · 03-05-2011, 12:57 PM

Big well done guys hope it works well for all of you,the world needs more people like you

**BgMc31** · 03-05-2011, 01:33 PM

I have a new found respect for you Tigershark!! Not that I didn't respect you before, lol. But becoming a foster parent is one of the most unselfish acts of love and kindness anyone could ever do. Wow, that is cool!! I know I could never do it, I barely like my own kids! LOL!!!!

**cro** · 03-05-2011, 03:18 PM

man that says alot about you bro . good luck. and props.

Originally Posted by Tigershark

My fiance and I have done respite care in the past for families who needed a break from thier troubled teens. Anyway we figured why not become foster parents ourselves and last week a 15 year old boy moved in with us.
Good kid and has been in a orphange since he was 8. He gets along well with our own 15 year old but doing this before we also know about the "honeymoon factor." So we know we have not seen the real him yet.
He has some issues with building relationships since he has foster families before and usually when he feels himself getting close he will sabatoge the relationship. It's always easier for someone like him to end the relationship yourself instead of being hurt later on.
I think once he ralizes we are not going to give up on him he will good to go.
Anyway that's what's happening with us.

**bjpennnn** · 03-05-2011, 03:56 PM

without sounding gay, there needs to be more people like you out there. i wish you the best of luck man, really pumped for you.

**Eddie_m63** · 03-05-2011, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by MACHINE5150

you guys are definitely good people but i question bringing in a kid that is the exact same age as your son.. that is going to cause jealousy issues for the rest of time.. i would have thought it would be better to bring in someone younger than your current child so you could always use the "he is older" card with your own boy. Especially them being fifteen, it is going to be a hard next couple years for you guys.. but god bless you for doing it.

As for TR's comment.. i don't think you will have that issue with a boy.. girls are way more likely to play that card.. but boys typically would be too embarrassed to ever admit that even if it DID happen.

I was thinking the same as i read the story, but still a great choice to make, did you talk to your son before doing all this stuff? Best of luck with your new son. I don't know if i will have any kids but i wouldn't mind adopting either but def younger then 15, again good luck.

**Tigershark** · 03-05-2011, 06:26 PM

Yes we talked to our son and they are getting along well. Both like playing the PS3 and our son knows to share and be polite so hopefully some of that will rub off on him.

**baseline_9** · 03-05-2011, 06:34 PM

I respect you for this greatly

Such an honest and kind thing to do, I hope all goes well

**baseline_9** · 03-05-2011, 06:36 PM

Oh yeah, forgot to mention, get him down the gym in a year or two with ur other son and get them pounding some weight and lots of food man.

Maybe u can rub that off onto both of them

**DSM4Life** · 03-05-2011, 06:36 PM

I tip my hat to you man. Good luck ! When you foster do you permanently take him in or no ?

**lovbyts** · 03-05-2011, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by Tigershark

Yes we talked to our son and they are getting along well. Both like playing the PS3 and our son knows to share and be polite so hopefully some of that will rub off on him.

Again props to you. I'm sure you discussed it thoroughly with your son also before making this commitment and he understands there will be times of turmoil and misunderstanding and jealousy but for him to stand strong, share and remember if something happens, something gets broke or??? that it's only stuff and the goal is to help build another quality human.

Best of luck to you. Please keep us informed on how it goes and of course feel free to use the community to bounce ideas and concerns off of. It takes a village to raise a child