Assinine bomb threat procedures for work

[Phosphor]

I work at a major telecommunications company in computer operations and like the rest of you, I run into moronic little bits of amusement to pass the time. I can't wait to take the call - I would ask more. Are you pinning Masterson? If so, are your balls shrunk to the size of raisins? Did your mother love you? Have you thought of suicide? Would you like to try now?

Be Calm, Courteous, Listen To The Caller, Notify Supervisor Immediately, Try To Trace Call By Following Local
Procedures Such As Calling Local Repair Or Switching Center

Note: Write caller's answers and exact words on another sheet if necessary.

Try to keep the caller on line - repeat questions.

Male
Female
Adult Guess Age
Ask The Following Questions:
Where Is The Bomb?
What Does It Look Like?
What Kind of Bomb?
Do You Know It Could Hurt or Kill Innocent People?
When Will It Go Off?
How Do You Know So Much About The Bomb?
Did You See It?
Why Did You Set It?
Did Someone Else Set It?
What Is Your Name?
What Is Your Address?
Are You Familiar With This Building?

[MACHINE5150]

^^^Wait these are the questions you are supposed to ask if someone calls in a bomb threat??? Who is your boss?? he/she needs to retire

[yungone501]

Redneck dictionary:
Assinine- "i give her a face a ten...and her ASSININE!"

[Tigershark]

We have those exact same questions at my work and when I was in the Army.

[drdeath613]

Redneck dictionary:
Assinine- "i give her a face a ten...and her ASSININE!"

lol good old jeff foxworthy

[yungone501]

lol good old jeff foxworthy

Gotta love that dude!

[lovbyts]

Easy fix. Tell them to hold and transfer the call to your boss. Get your a$$ out of the building pronto. lol