Son Bullied For 6 months Finally Fights Back And Dad Gets In Trouble For Encouraging

**DSM4Life** · 04-21-2011, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by BgMc31

Would it be worth it? No? But unlike what you believe, it doesn't happen all the time. Kids get into fights, they happen, it's part of growing up. I can pretty much guarantee that more kids get into fist fights that end harmlessly than those that end catastrophically. I don't know where you grew up but from my experience and the experience of having 3 children (2 of whom are teenage boys), bullies need to be dealt with accordingly. In the piece posted, the parents already exhausted the diplomatic route, they final solution was a one-on-one fight between the boys. Since there hasn't been any problems. Like I said before, I don't agree with what the father said (in terms of the dirty fighting comments), but I have no problem with him being there and 'coaching' his son through the fight.

I grew up in Philadelphia and yes i have had some scary $hit happen to be. Nothing like cursing someone off to have a gun pulled and put in your face. You think it doesn't happen a lot maybe just not where you are from. Fair fights are a thing of the past. We will just agree to disagree.

**DSM4Life** · 04-21-2011, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by calgarian

so how long you will fight ur kids fight? when he will learn to stand up for himself? Dont get me wrong I will REALLY have to stop myself doing the same to the kid who do this to my kid as well. But there is something called tough love and believe me it is very very hard to implement sometimes.

Like I said i have no issues with my kid fighting. I will teach him how to beat someone up but my issues is being there at the time of the fight and "promoting." Being there and not breaking it up is promoting. If my kid comes home all bloody and he tells me what he did i would clean him off and pat him on the back.

**calgarian** · 04-21-2011, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Like I said i have no issues with my kid fighting. I will teach him how to beat someone up but my issues is being there at the time of the fight and "promoting." Being there and not breaking it up is promoting. If my kid comes home all bloody and he tells me what he did i would clean him off and pat him on the back.

ok Gotcha....

**Shol'va** · 04-21-2011, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by DSM4Life

Like I said i have no issues with my kid fighting. I will teach him how to beat someone up but my issues is being there at the time of the fight and "promoting." Being there and not breaking it up is promoting. If my kid comes home all bloody and he tells me what he did i would clean him off and pat him on the back.

I knew you understood and supported the kid for what he did but disapproved of the dads behaviour thats why I never questioned you on your statement.

**BgMc31** · 04-21-2011, 02:19 PM

Yes DSM, agree to disagree. But I've been shot, shot at, and had both my girlfriend (now wife) and my house shot up. Fair fights still do exist though. I was bullied (I was the only black kid in an all white school), handled my business and wasn't bullied anymore. The incident I described with my son was with a bunch of wanna-be-suburban gang bangers. Plus now that I do what I do with inner city kids here in Vegas, I see everything you are talking about. But from my experience, gun play doesn't happen as a result of bullying (in the inner city, I'm referring to), gun play comes into play because of drugs and money. Your experience may differ, but the 4 kids that I've coached in the last couple years, who are now dead wasn't a result of bullying but because of drug deals gone wrong.

BTW, I know S. Philly pretty well, I spend many summers there, my uncle owned a barbershop there and I'm sure you know about black barbershops! LOL!

**gbrice75** · 04-22-2011, 11:29 AM

Originally Posted by jimmyinkedup

I'll never forget it. I was in 3rd grade..the kid across the street in 5th. Everyday he started shit with me, picked on me. One day my Dad was on the side of the house and the kid stopped me out front and was saying he was going to kick my ass. My Dad went across the street to the kids father and said look these 2 want to fight , i have some boxing gloves , lets get this over with., The kids dad said ok. My Dad took us into our backyard and had us each puit on a pair of gloves and go at it. My father watched and never said a word. The kid hit me 5 times for every 1 i hit him....but after he got knocked down for the third time and staggered trying to get up my Dad stepped in and stopped it.
Never had any issues again.
Now in that case you had 2 fathers from the old school..where a fair fight was a fair fight and things could be settled that way. Now adays that isnt often the case. At some point everyone knows that the bullied needs to stand up for him or herself. The Father of the bullied kid wanted to be sure no one else jumoed in etc. I totally understand that. I also understand if someone was bulling my son (unborn till 7/28/11 ftr)..it would be damn hard not to insruct my son to knock his fing teeth out when they were fighting.
I like the way thegodfather thinks re: these topics. All men are being pussified in a sense. Now a father who adamantly encourages and instructs his son on how to beat a bullies ass is punished with this ? Sorry - its BS.

Sorry, I disagree with the bold. I do agree about the 'pussification of kids' (great George Carlin bit btw), but a line has to be drawn. Teaching your kid to stand up for himself, an eye for an eye etc. is great IMO. This father didn't 'adamantly' encourage his son on how to beat a bullies ass; he gave his son instructions that were potentially fatal and extremely irresponsible. Let's reverse the role; your child is in a fight (congrats again btw!) - a basic fair one on one - and the other father is instructing his kid to smash your kids head on the concrete. The kid does it. Your kid now has brain damage (GOD FORBID, you know i'm making a hypothetical point here) - do you still agree with this kind of 'coaching'? I'm all for the kid's father getting involved (therefore I disagree with DSM's position on this), but in so doing, and being an ADULT and the parent of one of these kids, has a responsibility to give responsible advice, OR just STFU and make sure all is fair.

All that said, I again reiterate that I completely disagree with the judges - the punishment FAR outweighs the crime - in fact, I really saw no actual crime take place. Words were spoken, that's about it. I'm not sure how I would have dealt with this were I in the position of a judge, but I guess that's why i'm not.

**Shol'va** · 04-22-2011, 11:46 AM

Like I say this is what kills me about our judges. They will throw the book at someone who has never been in trouble before, who made an error in judgement, then turn around and release a repeat rapist or killer back onto the streets.

**lovbyts** · 04-24-2011, 02:47 AM

Originally Posted by Shol'va

Like I say this is what kills me about our judges. They will throw the book at someone who has never been in trouble before, who made an error in judgement, then turn around and release a repeat rapist or killer back onto the streets.

That's how our wonderful system works. If you are a typical hard working class citizen and you get caught making a judgment error you will be racked over the coals. First time DUI offenders if you are a typical 30 something male will cost you plenty. If you are a repeat offender typically nothing or very little will be done until you kill someone.

I have said it before and will continue saying, the system is fvcked. It's stacked against the typical working class citizen.