Married and I want OUT

[oscarjones]

I want out. Married 9 months. Wife's Hungarian. Immigrant. I jumped the gun. Not attracted to her inside and out anymore. She's boring, no hobbies, nothing but complaints. Can't hold a conversation. English is horrible, comprehension okay. She's 2 years older. Met her February 2010. I am an idiot. Depend on her monetarily. She has 16 months until permanent residence. We have 9 months until our 1 year lease is up. I want out.

I meet new exiting girls everyday at work. Today I met 3 hotties who share similar interests. 2 were artsy, 1 was fitness oriented. I am too young to be tied down to someone who makes me miserable most of the time. I am an idiot.

What to do? We've had so many fights where we've agreed on a divorce, then we make up and say lets try to get along until she's a permanent resident then we'll re-evaluate. Always end up fighting again days later. I don't even want to continue through the end of this week with her.

What to do?

[DSM4Life]

Divorce her and be done with it.

[Rockin Z28]

shit..ummmm, why did you do this in the first place? is she smoking hot?

[Noles12]

Was she mail order?

[Hazard]

sorry man..... its such a shitty feeling. If you honestly feel NOTHING for her..... just get it done with.

~Haz~

[DSM4Life]

Haz did you throw those shoes out yet? They are beat to $hit.

[gixxerboy1]

move out and get a divorce

[Hazard]

Haz did you throw those shoes out yet? They are beat to $hit.

No LMAO! They're my grass cutting shoes man.... i'm going to use em until my current good pair (same style shoe) goto shit lol!

~Haz~

[oscarjones]

shit..ummmm, why did you do this in the first place? is she smoking hot?

Maybe, like cozy, but definitely not smoking or smoldering.

Divorce her and be done with it.

Good plan. Need more monies!

Was she mail order?

No, but that's hilarious. Wish she was, maybe I'd get a refund.

sorry man..... its such a shitty feeling. If you honestly feel NOTHING for her..... just get it done with.

~Haz~

I feel something, but we fight more than we get along. It's not an "in-love" feeling anymore. I am bored, and annoyed. She leaches the zen-ness and creativity from me, and ****s with my diet and lifestyle.

move out and get a divorce

I need to find a room then! ****.

[gixxerboy1]

look for a place. When i had enough of my wife i got online and looked for a place. I moved out within 2 weeks of looking

[Shol'va]

How old are you? And what was it about her that attracted you to her? Is that spark gone completely or is the marriage worth saving through counseling? How long did you know her before you married her? What ever you decide i wish you well, it's just a shame that so many marriages end in divorce these days. So many of my friends that I grew up with got married young and are now divorced and remarried or just divorced and playing the field. Of course I played in some of their fields myself before they were married. But that's another story.

[terraj]

^^ how old?

[oscarjones]

Im only 25. Sparks gone, counseling not an option.

[BG]

Thats a big mistake....tough decision but a life time of misery is a LOOOOONG time.

[stevey_6t9]

any pics of said female?

[oscarjones]

any pics of said female?

Only nudes :P

[oscarjones]

Thats a big mistake....tough decision but a life time of misery is a LOOOOONG time.

Yeah! I mean jesus, the longer we stay together the tougher it will be to get divorced. Finances and stuff and bills and credit and debt and shit....

[stevey_6t9]

Only nudes :P

edit and post them, need them to gauge more indepth into your situation.

[Parabolic]

hurry up get out now while u can

[gixxerboy1]

have her deported

[Twist]

have her deported

LMAO Gixxer wtf

[oscarjones]

have her deported

Crossed my mind - I mean she has a twin sister who is still Illegal.

I also always wanted them both, but at this point I don't even care.

[spywizard]

you sir are a prostitute.. you gave a commitment for a financial return.. lots of women do just that, marry for money.. so what's the difference, you have a long term contract, i'd start charging up all her cards and living large..

[spywizard]

or did i miss something??

[lovbyts]

Where did you get married? Even if you did not get married in Nevada you can still get divorced there or even annulled. Make a claim that one of you lied about xxx and you can get it annulled. Claim she wanted kids and it turns out you can not or will not give them to her so you lied and it's over. Very cheap and she does not even have to agree if it's done right.
If she is going to make it a problem then use reverse physiology, make her think the divorce is her idea. I did this with the 2nd wife and it worked great. Made everything easy.

Now best case scenario is see a counselor and try to salvage it. The grass is always greener on the other side but that grass can dry up and turn bitter quickly. Sometimes you have to realize that you got exactly what you where looking for so now you need to try to make it work.

It's OK for the spark to be gone. Many times the spark is not ever there until later. You need to find common grounds, money, future goals, what you like to do etc. Sometimes it takes a while. If not can you talk about things? Will she agree it's just not there and you should move on? If not find out why. Find out what she is trying to hold onto and it may open your eye to some things you had not thought about.

Understand every day will bring new things some good some bad so try to have an open mind and see what is happening. Mostly try to talk or better try to listen. See what she wants. Let her tell you and be up front, if it's not you just say you understand but its not who you are...

[awms]

wow this is sad! People act like marrage is as important as buying a pair of shoes...get married with no thought put into it and if you dont like it then get out? No one wants to put any work in these days its sad!

Have you ever stoped and thought about how your wife feels or are you more concerned about what you want? This might sounds harsh but you married her....its not like you have been dating and now you want out your married! you basically made a promise to her that you will spend your life with her through thick and thin and now you want out 9 months into it? this might have been somtihng you should have done before you promsed her a life time...You might not be in love with her and she might not be your cup of tea but how is that her fault?? you know what you were geting into when you proposed to her, you time to get out and you went through with it and now you must face the music.

Now this might sounds harsh! but you must put your self in her shoes for a second and think about how she feels about you, think about how she will react when the man she is planning on spending her life with says to her "I dont love you anymore I want out" might hurt her just a little...lol things could get really messy! any judge is going to sympathize with her so just watch your ass! Also remember that you are breaking a promise so being a dick toward her will only digg you a big hole! be honest with her but still sympathize with her and hear her out, mabey then she wont rape you for all you have haha good luck!

[oscarjones]

you sir are a prostitute.. you gave a commitment for a financial return.. lots of women do just that, marry for money.. so what's the difference, you have a long term contract, i'd start charging up all her cards and living large..

She did not pay me for status. In fact, her brother in law (sister's husband) owes me $2k, and is racking up debt on my phone plan. I need to drop him and her sister because I am essentially paying $300/month for all 4 of us and never see a dime from them.

I gave a commitment at the time of marriage because I loved her dearly. However, when she got all her freedoms, like a driver license etc, she changed. We just don't click. I just want to be free of her right now.

Where did you get married? Even if you did not get married in Nevada you can still get divorced there or even annulled. Make a claim that one of you lied about xxx and you can get it annulled. Claim she wanted kids and it turns out you can not or will not give them to her so you lied and it's over. Very cheap and she does not even have to agree if it's done right.
If she is going to make it a problem then use reverse physiology, make her think the divorce is her idea. I did this with the 2nd wife and it worked great. Made everything easy.

I got married in FL which is a very easy state to get married, and also divorced. As a matter of fact she does want kids, and I do not want kids. So that is something to go on.

Now best case scenario is see a counselor and try to salvage it. The grass is always greener on the other side but that grass can dry up and turn bitter quickly. Sometimes you have to realize that you got exactly what you where looking for so now you need to try to make it work.

I do believe in marriage, but with the right woman. I believe that most of the time, during a marriage, the couple is supposed to be happy and not really fight. However, it's daily for us, and it's not just me. My wife is depressed, and blames me for everything whether it's my fault or not. Nothing I can really do. I've tried to help her in as many ways as I can, but at this point she's dragging me down, and I know it's because she's just not happy in our relationship, as am I.

It's OK for the spark to be gone. Many times the spark is not ever there until later. You need to find common grounds, money, future goals, what you like to do etc. Sometimes it takes a while. If not can you talk about things? Will she agree it's just not there and you should move on? If not find out why. Find out what she is trying to hold onto and it may open your eye to some things you had not thought about.

She's an odd ball, I try to get her incorporated with anything and everything I can. She just doesn't want to do anything. I tried to get her into health/fitness/nursing/nutrition, I've tried to get her into music and guitar/instrument playing, painting, nails, hair, dentistry, sales, basically everything I can think of. I even bought her a little motorcycle and taught her how to ride, but that died fast. I sounds like I am complaining, but it's just a shitty situation when the person around you is depressed to no end, and makes your daily life so stressful.

Understand every day will bring new things some good some bad so try to have an open mind and see what is happening. Mostly try to talk or better try to listen. See what she wants. Let her tell you and be up front, if it's not you just say you understand but its not who you are...

It is who she is though. That's the problem. I don't have any common grounds with her. I want to be married to my best friend. Someone who I can really trust, and someone I enjoy being around every day, not just some of the time. With my wife, it just feels dead.

[oscarjones]

wow this is sad! People act like marrage is as important as buying a pair of shoes...get married with no thought put into it and if you dont like it then get out? No one wants to put any work in these days its sad!

It was a rash decision we made. Fools in love so to speak. Both of us made a mistake I think. I admit to making that mistake and now I have to pay for it. We both do. I'll gladly pay to feel free and happy again.

Have you ever stoped and thought about how your wife feels or are you more concerned about what you want? This might sounds harsh but you married her....its not like you have been dating and now you want out your married! you basically made a promise to her that you will spend your life with her through thick and thin and now you want out 9 months into it? this might have been something you should have done before you promised her a life time...You might not be in love with her and she might not be your cup of tea but how is that her fault?? you know what you were getting into when you proposed to her, you time to get out and you went through with it and now you must face the music.

I understand what you are trying to convey. To be honest, I feel as though life is a journey and we all face different challenges. This is mine. My wife and I are both not happy. She feels the same as me. She doesn't see my virtues. I have been through counseling in the past, and a fairly logical and levelheaded person. However, at times I can be impulsive, and this time my impulsiveness has lead to an outcome I didn't know or expect. People change.

Now this might sounds harsh! but you must put your self in her shoes for a second and think about how she feels about you, think about how she will react when the man she is planning on spending her life with says to her "I dont love you anymore I want out" might hurt her just a little...lol things could get really messy! any judge is going to sympathize with her so just watch your ass! Also remember that you are breaking a promise so being a dick toward her will only digg you a big hole! be honest with her but still sympathize with her and hear her out, mabey then she wont rape you for all you have haha good luck!

Thanks for the advice. Yeah she understands that I am not out to hurt her, and she knows she's depressed too. We both agreed that it may just be healthier for it to end. However, it's really hard to read between her lines. I hate the thought of crushing her heart and letting her fall behind in her ambitions (whatever the hell they are), but I just know that I am not happy! I find myself in a troubled spot. It's not fair to have to sacrifice my life to make her happy?! I do trust her, but I just don't love her.

[Shol'va]

After reading your posts all I can say is thank fuk you two did not have any kids. This will make things much easier on you both. And it is obvious this is a dead end relationship so pull the plug asap and move on and write off that debt that is owed you as you will probably never see it repaid anyways. Life lesson learned. Just don't be so quick to marry the next girl who swallows. Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Get to know your next G/F well before jumping head long into something as serious as marriage. Ok enough of Dr. Phill.

[oscarjones]

After reading your posts all I can say is thank fuk you two did not have any kids. This will make things much easier on you both. And it is obvious this is a dead end relationship so pull the plug asap and move on and write off that debt that is owed you as you will probably never see it repaid anyways. Life lesson learned. Just don't be so quick to marry the next girl who swallows. Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Get to know your next G/F well before jumping head long into something as serious as marriage. Ok enough of Dr. Phill.

Thank you this is what I need to hear. I appreciate your advice!

[wmaousley]

After reading your posts all I can say is thank fuk you two did not have any kids. This will make things much easier on you both. And it is obvious this is a dead end relationship so pull the plug asap and move on and write off that debt that is owed you as you will probably never see it repaid anyways. Life lesson learned. Just don't be so quick to marry the next girl who swallows. Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Get to know your next G/F well before jumping head long into something as serious as marriage. Ok enough of Dr. Phill.

Edited See below

[Times Roman]

uh.... is she pregnant?

[Flier]

Dude, I know exactly how u feel. Been there. And I know your wife (from the description in your OP).
Your story is easy to comprehend, just in the few lines u used to describe it.
And from your replies, it´s obvious you are a level headed, reflected young man, and not a stupid kid.

Get out NOW!!
No talking, no BS. Forget about the money, forget about where u gonna live. Stay at a friends couch, or move in with your parents for a couple of months.
This situation will only get worse. This post will be too long if I go into explaining why.
You already flamed yourself twice in the OP; I have to continue if you stay, even if it is against board rules.

Some people will say, "You made your bed, now u have to lay in it", or "U made a mistake, now u have to live with it"............no u don´t.
I know the gal that wrote the rulebook of life, and nowhere in there it states that we can´t make mistakes over and over again, but shame on u for living with your mistake.

She is literally sucking the life out of u, you WILL die inside if u stay.
Not because she is a bad person, u are just a horrible match.

It´s very hard to have a relationship with someone from another culture, EVEN if u communicate fluently in a common language, and sex is great, and chemistry is great.

Get out! Get out! Get out!

[Times Roman]

Dude, I know exactly how u feel. Been there. And I know your wife (from the description in your OP).
Your story is easy to comprehend, just in the few lines u used to describe it.
And from your replies, it´s obvious you are a level headed, reflected young man, and not a stupid kid.

Get out NOW!!
No talking, no BS. Forget about the money, forget about where u gonna live. Stay at a friends couch, or move in with your parents for a couple of months.
This situation will only get worse. This post will be too long if I go into explaining why.
You already flamed yourself twice in the OP; I have to continue if you stay, even if it is against board rules.

Some people will say, "You made your bed, now u have to lay in it", or "U made a mistake, now u have to live with it"............no u don´t.
I know the gal that wrote the rulebook of life, and nowhere in there it states that we can´t make mistakes over and over again, but shame on u for living with your mistake.

She is literally sucking the life out of u, you WILL die inside if u stay.
Not because she is a bad person, u are just a horrible match.

It´s very hard to have a relationship with someone from another culture, EVEN if u communicate fluently in a common language, and sex is great, and chemistry is great.

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Except....

IS SHE PREGNENANT?

[RaginCajun]

After reading your posts all I can say is thank fuk you two did not have any kids. This will make things much easier on you both. And it is obvious this is a dead end relationship so pull the plug asap and move on and write off that debt that is owed you as you will probably never see it repaid anyways. Life lesson learned. Just don't be so quick to marry the next girl who swallows. Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Get to know your next G/F well before jumping head long into something as serious as marriage. Ok enough of Dr. Phill.

good stuff sholva. man, you got yourself into a HUGE pickle!!! do yourself a favor and get the divorce, it seems your mind is already there. good luck!

[PurpleOnes]

Just divorce her and say that you just don't love her anymore.

[frytlon]

I can honestly say that I didn't know what true happiness was until I got married. Of course, then it was too late.

[calgarian]

I want out. Married 9 months. Wife's Hungarian. Immigrant. I jumped the gun. Not attracted to her inside and out anymore. She's boring, no hobbies, nothing but complaints. Can't hold a conversation. English is horrible, comprehension okay. She's 2 years older. Met her February 2010. I am an idiot. Depend on her monetarily. She has 16 months until permanent residence. We have 9 months until our 1 year lease is up. I want out.

I meet new exiting girls everyday at work. Today I met 3 hotties who share similar interests. 2 were artsy, 1 was fitness oriented. I am too young to be tied down to someone who makes me miserable most of the time. I am an idiot.

What to do? We've had so many fights where we've agreed on a divorce, then we make up and say lets try to get along until she's a permanent resident then we'll re-evaluate. Always end up fighting again days later. I don't even want to continue through the end of this week with her.

What to do?

not to be mr Obvious....but i think she had all those issues before you marry her.....Its just that now you HAVE her you are finding out that oh all that pvssy i could fvck....and having second thoughts about it.
I just hope that she is not pregnant otherwise I have name for guys like you for ruining a kids life just so they can get some pvssy.


if u didnt read it in BG's signature here it is again

It doesnt matter how good looking she is, some where, some one is tired of her shit.

[SlimmerMe]

^^^wish we had a "like" button

[Times Roman]

not to be mr Obvious....but i think she had all those issues before you marry her.....Its just that now you HAVE her you are finding out that oh all that pvssy i could fvck....and having second thoughts about it.
I just hope that she is not pregnant otherwise I have name for guys like you for ruining a kids life just so they can get some pvssy.
if u didnt read it in BG's signature here it is again

It doesnt matter how good looking she is, some where, some one is tired of her shit.

third time I've asked.....

........... IS SHE PREGNENT?