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  1. #1
    zimmy's Avatar
    zimmy is offline Anabolic Member
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    You cannot change them!

    I'm telling you guys...DO NOT think that you can make things better for women with baggage (divorces)....you'd think they'd appreciate you and how you are with their kids...but it's just not true. You'll just be "another man" in their eyes.

  2. #2
    gixxerboy1's Avatar
    gixxerboy1 is offline ~VET~ Extraordinaire~
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    Marriage going well i see Zimmy?

    But unfortunately you are right

  3. #3
    zimmy's Avatar
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    lol it was until last night...then boom...

    here's a funny complaint...I do too much in the house and make more money so she feels like she isn't needed.
    another funny complaint...I have 400 for her bday and we decided to use it for medical bills for our uninsured relative (her ideal) then boom...I don't appreciate her for not taking her out.

    ugh I'm passive by nature but this is really getting hard for me to swallow.

  4. #4
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    marcus300 is offline ~Retired~ AR-Platinum Elite-Hall of Famer ~
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmy View Post
    I'm telling you guys...DO NOT think that you can make things better for women with baggage (divorces)....you'd think they'd appreciate you and how you are with their kids...but it's just not true. You'll just be "another man" in their eyes.
    They are not all the same and why not seek a replacement who does appreciate you!

  5. #5
    Dukkit's Avatar
    Dukkit is offline Vitamin Enhanced Sociopathic Post Whore
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    Marriage sucks.

    Pretty sure when you annouced you had gotten married... I said "I give it 3 years tops"

    Looks like it may come true.

    But seriously... not being a dick...

    Talk to her. Go for a walk with her and tell her how you feel. Tell her the truth. Explain to her how you feel you have done everything for her and hers, yet she isnt appreciative and actually turns around and acts like a bitch about it.
    Maybe she'll open up to you and explain why shes being bitchy and unappreciative.

    If it becomes an argument... then Im going to say... its just going to keep heading towards destruction.

  6. #6
    zimmy's Avatar
    zimmy is offline Anabolic Member
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    yah tried that last night...got lots of "you don't love me...you just like being loved" and "people don't really love except for kids"

  7. #7
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    Sometimes its hard to talk in the heat of battle.Wait until the dust settles.

  8. #8
    HitIt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmy View Post
    yah tried that last night...got lots of "you don't love me...you just like being loved" and "people don't really love except for kids"
    oh how i don't envy your predicament...been there done that....you may have to do what marcus said

  9. #9
    Dukkit's Avatar
    Dukkit is offline Vitamin Enhanced Sociopathic Post Whore
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    Then if she is that far gone...

    you either need to get her to see a therapist to work on her issues.

    Or you need to work on a good divorce lawyer.

    Cuz Ive never seen a marriage saved after the women has gone cold like that.
    Just doesnt happen. You reach the point of no return and it gets worse without ever getting better.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmy View Post
    lol it was until last night...then boom...

    here's a funny complaint...I do too much in the house and make more money so she feels like she isn't needed.
    another funny complaint...I have 400 for her bday and we decided to use it for medical bills for our uninsured relative (her ideal) then boom...I don't appreciate her for not taking her out.

    ugh I'm passive by nature but this is really getting hard for me to swallow.
    Hahahaha once you understand it's a no win situation then you will be OK. Sorry but it sounds all to familiar. Sometimes every once i a while it does get better, they do learn but dont expect it to stay that way. They always resort back at least for a while. The trick is finding how to keep them on track without driving yourself crazy for doing things, acting a certain way when there is no logical reason on earth you should have to do what you are doing. LOL

    Recently mine was complaining because I try to do certain things with/for her even though my plate is more than full right now. Sometimes it's not really a plan but a suggestion. Being a woman she is also good at making those things not work out by making us late not knowing how to be spontaneous and just go do something but taking 1 1/2 hrs to get ready.
    I got feed up and said Fine, I'm dont planning anything since it's always my fault it doesn't work out. Your turn. You figure out how much $$$ we have to spend, what time something starts, when we have to leave, deal with all the little day to day stuff like making emergency prescription runs for mom who has pancriatic cancer, helping find food she can eat, taking care of her place, our place, work, bills, appointments for everyone and trying to sleep at least 3 or 4 hrs a day once in a while.
    She changed her tone quickly.... Give it a try. Hand it all over to her and make her accountable for her decisions.
    Ive said it many times and it works 90%+ of the time for me. Make them accountable. Turn it back around on her. Ask her what she has done for you? Why is it your responsibility to prove you love her all the time. She needs to step up and prove herself. Show her she is the one failing, she is responsible for things not working out, she is not living up to her part of the bargain....
    Last edited by lovbyts; 08-16-2011 at 07:02 AM.

  11. #11
    zimmy's Avatar
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    lol that sounds nice if it weren't for the fact that she has a "it's all my fault" sarcistic response to EVERYTHING. I haven't gotten more than 2 apologies from her since I have known her.

  12. #12
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    Kawigirl is offline Knowledgeable~Female Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmy View Post
    lol that sounds nice if it weren't for the fact that she has a "it's all my fault" sarcistic response to EVERYTHING. I haven't gotten more than 2 apologies from her since I have known her.
    Unfortunately...if one hasn't owned up to being wrong, and apologizing...it creates a lot of built up frustration and resentment. I think a lot forget how much saying sorry is worth.

    I agree with lovbyts zimmy....in the end; your responsible for your own happiness. And, sometimes making difficult decisions to get that is needed...but so worth it.

  13. #13
    awms is offline Senior Member
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    I KNOW!

    I have a budy who has been dating this chick for almost 2 years now and their relationship is ****ed up!! He tells me how much he loves her ect ect ect...but then tells me how much they fight and how messed up she is and tells me she will change it just takes time lol it makes me so mad cuz he gets mad when I tell him he shouldnt be with her...

    Im at a loss for words now...dont know what to tell the guy!

  14. #14
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    auslifta is offline Retired MONITOR
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    Quote Originally Posted by zimmy View Post
    I'm telling you guys...DO NOT think that you can make things better for women with baggage (divorces)....you'd think they'd appreciate you and how you are with their kids...but it's just not true. You'll just be "another man" in their eyes.
    Zimmy, I warned you about this years ago. Be a man, she doesnt have respect for you because you wait on her hand and foot.

  15. #15
    Times Roman's Avatar
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    each woman and relationship is different. treat them accordingly. you make it sound like if a woman gets a divorce, she's tainted for life?

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