Random thoughts... 8/19/11

[LGM]

1. People go to waterparks but get pissed when their basement floods. Isn't this the best of both worlds?

2. I weigh my chicken post cooking; are you supposed to weigh it frozen or fresh?

3. If my g/f drinks too much fluid she gets bloated; if she eats too much she gets fat. What if she drinks her food?

4. My dog sticks his head out the window at 65 mph, but hates me blowing in his face. WTF?

5. Why is okay to yell at my g/f at home that she's a dirty, slutty whore, but when it's in the mall she gets pissed?

6. Why in the hell is there an interstate highway in Hawaii?

7. Why is alcohol so intoxicating?

8. Why is everything at the dollar store more than one dollar?

Feel free to add your own...

[im83931]

When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming, like all the passengers in her car.

[Sgt. Hartman]

Why is it that no matter how careful I am I can't grab a handful of ice from the dispenser without dropping at least one cube? One just fell on my big toe and broke the fukkin skin.

[im83931]

Allot of stores say no shirt no shoes no service, does that mean I can walk into a store with no pants on and still get service?

[im83931]

Thank God Mc Donalds doesnt have a hot dog, i really dont think i could order a Mc Wiener with a straight Face.

[im83931]

Why do they always emphasize the virginity of olive oil. I mean that is kind of assumed...it's not like the olive oil is going to be fvcked before you buy it.

[im83931]

Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?

[Sicko]

When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming, like all the passengers in her car.

bro I just spit coffee everywhere!!!

[Sicko]

Why does 7-11 have locks on there doors if they are open 24/7/365?

[Sicko]

1. People go to waterparks but get pissed when their basement floods. Isn't this the best of both worlds?

2. I weigh my chicken post cooking; are you supposed to weigh it frozen or fresh?

3. If my g/f drinks too much fluid she gets bloated; if she eats too much she gets fat. What if she drinks her food?

4. My dog sticks his head out the window at 65 mph, but hates me blowing in his face. WTF?

5. Why is okay to yell at my g/f at home that she's a dirty, slutty whore, but when it's in the mall she gets pissed?

6. Why in the hell is there an interstate highway in Hawaii?

7. Why is alcohol so intoxicating?

8. Why is everything at the dollar store more than one dollar?

Feel free to add your own...

Heheheh..#4 so true that drives them nuts...

[crazy_rocks]

4. My dog sticks his head out the window at 65 mph, but hates me blowing in his face. WTF?

when dogs do this they actually get high

[Sicko]

Why do I have to smell every one of my farts just to check if they smell, when I already know they will?

[Sicko]

Why do we let dogs lick our face when we know they lick their balls and ass?

[jasc]

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

[YoungMan]

what word rhymes with orange?

[auslifta]

what word rhymes with orange?

syringe? not really but close

[JDawg1536]

4. My dog sticks his head out the window at 65 mph, but hates me blowing in his face. WTF?

Your breath smells like shit?

[PitMaster]

I like my woman's mouth, love to have it all over me. Yet I refuse to use her toothbrush.

I use to have a woman that could make her gina quief at will. I never found this cute or attractive, yet I would park my face there all day long.

[Sicko]

Quote Originally Posted by LGM View Post
4. My dog sticks his head out the window at 65 mph, but hates me blowing in his face. WTF?

Your breath smells like shit?

nice!!!