Lets hear your best excuse

**Sicko** · 09-06-2011, 05:57 AM

So I am a superintendent in a construction company and I am so sick of sorry ass fools who think I am retarded and feed me some cockameny story about why they wont be at work today or why they are late..

So shoot me your best excuse that you have used and i will let you know whether I would buy it or call

Mind you I lead a bad life as a youngster so I have used most anything you can imagine..

**lovbyts** · 09-06-2011, 06:12 AM

I just couldn't see coming in. The sun was in my eyes.
The kid is home sick from school so I have to take care of her. Single parent.
If it's a woman all they have to say is it's a girl thing. :/
Power went out so the alarm never went off.
I met a really hot chick last night and I'm still banging her.
I'm still drunk from last night.

**Sicko** · 09-06-2011, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by lovbyts

I just couldn't see coming in. The sun was in my eyes.
The kid is home sick from school so I have to take care of her. Single parent.
If it's a woman all they have to say is it's a girl thing. :/
Power went out so the alarm never went off.
I met a really hot chick last night and I'm still banging her.
I'm still drunk from last night.

I can respect the truth...doesnt mean you wont get wrote up or backcharged, but at least dont be slurring when you tell me your grandfather is ill and you have to be with him in the hospital as I hear laughter in the background...heheheh...

**SexySweetheart** · 09-06-2011, 06:57 AM

I think I ate some bad food at the family gathering, cuz I have the runs and feel like a Mac truck just hit me

**terraj** · 09-06-2011, 07:10 AM

Originally Posted by Sicko

So I am a superintendent in a construction company and I am so sick of sorry ass fools who think I am retarded and feed me some cockameny story about why they wont be at work today or why they are late..

So shoot me your best excuse that you have used and i will let you know whether I would buy it or call

Mind you I lead a bad life as a youngster so I have used most anything you can imagine..

Same job man...but nobody comes late on my sites

**DeniZen** · 09-06-2011, 07:43 AM

I started in construction when I was 18 and was never late. Don't think I ever intentionally missed a day of work for years. I was brought into the carpenters union by some old school guys and they didnt put up with any shit. This was 1974...a different world. Funny its stayed with me all these years. Someone is late for a meeting or appointment its drives me crazy!

**gym_junki** · 09-06-2011, 08:04 AM

I'm sorry I feel so sick I'm going to be struggling at work today so please try and cover my shift.. If you can't find someone I'll come in and if I get really sick I'll have to leave... Good ayy lol if u tell me to come in I'll tell you go fvk yourself lol.

**Sicko** · 09-06-2011, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by terraj

Same job man...but nobody comes late on my sites

yeah right... Your company must have some serious players in the office to enforce protocol. That is the biggest problem I have is I can call and rant and rave to the owners all I want and it just gets dismisssed at upper management level. The sub co. owners just buy a round of golf for my owner and all is forgotten..

**songdog** · 09-06-2011, 08:39 AM

Over years years work I was only late once.I walked up to the boss and told him why.And when I was sick they never questioned it beacuse if I didnt have a fever I still showed up.No matter where I worked I was always early so I never had the problem you are talking about.But I know wat you are talking about.

**Sicko** · 09-06-2011, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by Sexy4mySweetheart

I think I ate some bad food at the family gathering, cuz I have the runs and feel like a Mac truck just hit me

nope not buying that one..take some pepto and get yer ass in the car...

Originally Posted by DeniZen

I started in construction when I was 18 and was never late. Don't think I ever intentionally missed a day of work for years. I was brought into the carpenters union by some old school guys and they didnt put up with any shit. This was 1974...a different world. Funny its stayed with me all these years. Someone is late for a meeting or appointment its drives me crazy!

Yup I started construction back when they could fire you just for acting like a pvssy..none of the rights and safety excuses that are now being used to not do your assigned work detail.

Originally Posted by gym_junki

I'm sorry I feel so sick I'm going to be struggling at work today so please try and cover my shift.. If you can't find someone I'll come in and if I get really sick I'll have to leave... Good ayy lol if u tell me to come in I'll tell you go fvk yourself lol.

YOUR FIRED MUTHA FVCKER!!!! heheheh...
once again..if you are to sick to come to work you better be in the hospital cuz the runs isnt a excuse that works for me...

**jimmyinkedup** · 09-06-2011, 10:21 AM

When I call out I simply tell the truth. It happens so rarely i dont feel any need to lie when it does. What pisses me off is since in never call out it seems like when i do its a big deal and some idiots do it so often its almost expected or accepted of them and noone seems to care when they do.

**Sicko** · 09-06-2011, 10:36 AM

Originally Posted by jimmyinkedup

When I call out I simply tell the truth. It happens so rarely i dont feel any need to lie when it does. What pisses me off is since in never call out it seems like when i do its a big deal and some idiots do it so often its almost expected or accepted of them and noone seems to care when they do.

This is so true.. I have on sub in particular who happens to be the nephew of the general manager and he basically shows up and leaves when he wants to and nobody does anything about it because that is just how he operates and you get nowhere bashing him due to his connection in the company..pisses me of because his actions have a trickle affect onto other areas of the jobsite and timeline of the project.

**Sicko** · 09-06-2011, 10:39 AM

Ahh perfect example of what I am talking about. I am sitting at the jobsite waiting for my electrician to show up...who was supposed to be in on Friday to install one light. Probably 2hrs work start to finish. He supposedly had the flu over the weekend and that is why he didnt show up on Friday. Pretty convenient that he got sick on a three day weekend!!!!

**dec11** · 09-06-2011, 10:50 AM

two flat tyres

**jasc** · 09-06-2011, 11:55 AM

can't come in today, Hooked up with a fat chick last night and I'm still trying to finish the job.. u know how it is

**Bryan2** · 09-06-2011, 12:09 PM

Your never gonna believe this but I found a baby on my way to work. I gotta take care of this probably not gonna make it in.........

**Sicko** · 09-06-2011, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by dec11

two flat tyres

ok send me a pic right now of the flat tires..not in 10 minutes, right now...

Originally Posted by jasc

can't come in today, Hooked up with a fat chick last night and I'm still trying to finish the job.. u know how it is

Calgarian uses this one once a week... Are you calling my wife fat? heheheh..

Originally Posted by Bryan2

Your never gonna believe this but I found a baby on my way to work. I gotta take care of this probably not gonna make it in.........

That is pretty original I gotta admit but I would have to call without some kind of police report..

**Twist** · 09-06-2011, 12:27 PM

May dad owns the company so...

**PurpleOnes** · 09-06-2011, 12:30 PM

When I woke up, I felt that somebody was in my house. I checked out my money stash and it was empty.

So I called cops and I had to wait until they came.

That was the reason I came late/ didn't came to work.

**JohnnyVegas** · 09-06-2011, 02:12 PM

I am late to my office basically every morning. I am the owner, so I get away from it as long as we don't miss a client deadline.

However, I did miss a deadline a couple of weeks ago and had to tell the client why. I was returning from lunch as a passenger in one of my designer's truck. We were sitting at a red light to make a left hand turn. There was a girl on foot waiting to cross the street. Normally I wouldn't have paid any attention, but she was listening to headphones and doing a little dance while smiling at people that passed. As I watched her, the driver yells "holy crap", I hear brakes and crunching...and then a truck enters my field of vision, goes up on the curb and hits the girl I was watching while going at least 30 miles an hour. She flies up in the air, legs above her head, hits a wall and disappears on the other side of the truck. The truck hits a fire hydrant, knocks it a good fifty feet and it puts a small hole in a brick wall. He then gets back on the street and keeps going until he comes up on the cars blocking his way at the red light at the end of the block. We were able to make the turn into our office and get out to see the aftermath. It was horrible. Lots of abrasions, blood coming out of her nose and when the paramedics got there they said she had broken ribs and a perforated lung. They said she might not make it...but I found out later that she did. We had to talk to few police officers and give written statements to the investigators.

Too much detail? Does that always make it sound like a lie?

Regardless, the client said "is that why Charleston was closed for four or five hours?" And I had news reports to back me up. It was all true.

**calgarian** · 09-06-2011, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by Sicko

Calgarian uses this one once a week... Are you calling my wife fat? heheheh..

only once??? i get 5 times during working days

**DrSchmee** · 09-06-2011, 02:17 PM

I have a case of anal glaucoma,"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

**JohnnyVegas** · 09-06-2011, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by DrSchmee

I have a case of anal glaucoma,"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

I trust you, because your name clearly shows you are a doctor. Heh.

**beatango2008** · 09-06-2011, 02:50 PM

No gas money to get to work.....

**Times Roman** · 09-06-2011, 04:29 PM

ever have someone call in sick on you, and you politely tell them....

...hey numb nutts.... it's sunday

**gym_junki** · 09-06-2011, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by Times Roman

ever have someone call in sick on you, and you politely tell them....

...hey numb nutts.... it's sunday

Lol I had someone call me sayn he was so sick and can't make it into work but he was off that day. Lol

**Hoggage_54** · 09-06-2011, 06:16 PM

DSM pounded my ass too hard last night

**spywizard** · 09-06-2011, 06:25 PM

crack whore got me some bad shit and i'll be in after lunch though, just need to get discharged..

**spywizard** · 09-06-2011, 06:28 PM

how about this one..

"the union be callin"

**terraj** · 09-06-2011, 06:29 PM

Originally Posted by Sicko

yeah right... Your company must have some serious players in the office to enforce protocol. That is the biggest problem I have is I can call and rant and rave to the owners all I want and it just gets dismisssed at upper management level. The sub co. owners just buy a round of golf for my owner and all is forgotten..

Not sure about office protocols, I'm the only guy from the company in country, I'm the prime so all subs are under me.

I'm a terror to crews at the start of a project, it makes the rest go smoothly and I can be a nicer guy after I'm getting what I want....but they never forget what a prick I can be.

True....the upper guys must have any plays you make.

**dec11** · 09-06-2011, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Sicko

ok send me a pic right now of the flat tires..not in 10 minutes, right now...MMS txtn not set up on my phone

Calgarian uses this one once a week... Are you calling my wife fat? heheheh..

That is pretty original I gotta admit but I would have to call without some kind of police report..

............

**Sicko** · 09-08-2011, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by Twist

May dad owns the company so...

I have heard that one numerous times, but that usually gets him in more trouble...

Originally Posted by PurpleOnes

When I woke up, I felt that somebody was in my house. I checked out my money stash and it was empty.

So I called cops and I had to wait until they came.

That was the reason I came late/ didn't came to work.

That is all the more reason you should be at work..you got some rent coming up and need this job more than ever!!

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

I am late to my office basically every morning. I am the owner, so I get away from it as long as we don't miss a client deadline.

However, I did miss a deadline a couple of weeks ago and had to tell the client why. I was returning from lunch as a passenger in one of my designer's truck. We were sitting at a red light to make a left hand turn. There was a girl on foot waiting to cross the street. Normally I wouldn't have paid any attention, but she was listening to headphones and doing a little dance while smiling at people that passed. As I watched her, the driver yells "holy crap", I hear brakes and crunching...and then a truck enters my field of vision, goes up on the curb and hits the girl I was watching while going at least 30 miles an hour. She flies up in the air, legs above her head, hits a wall and disappears on the other side of the truck. The truck hits a fire hydrant, knocks it a good fifty feet and it puts a small hole in a brick wall. He then gets back on the street and keeps going until he comes up on the cars blocking his way at the red light at the end of the block. We were able to make the turn into our office and get out to see the aftermath. It was horrible. Lots of abrasions, blood coming out of her nose and when the paramedics got there they said she had broken ribs and a perforated lung. They said she might not make it...but I found out later that she did. We had to talk to few police officers and give written statements to the investigators.

Too much detail? Does that always make it sound like a lie?

Regardless, the client said "is that why Charleston was closed for four or five hours?" And I had news reports to back me up. It was all true.

I would buy that one..once but only once...

Originally Posted by DrSchmee

I have a case of anal glaucoma,"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

Well i am a fortune teller .. and I see the unemployment line in your future

Originally Posted by beatango2008

No gas money to get to work.....

not my problem..you should of thought about that before you spent the last of your money..I know how much people make and there is no reason you shouldnt have gas money unless you spent all your money on a crack binge..

Originally Posted by Times Roman

ever have someone call in sick on you, and you politely tell them....

...hey numb nutts.... it's sunday

Thats when you know they ahve been on a good one if they say ok..sorry..

Originally Posted by Hoggage_54

DSM pounded my ass too hard last night

Hey, take it like a woman and get your ass to work like a man!!

Originally Posted by spywizard

crack whore got me some bad shit and i'll be in after lunch though, just need to get discharged..

I dont care what you do on your own time, but dont waste mine...

Originally Posted by terraj

Not sure about office protocols, I'm the only guy from the company in country, I'm the prime so all subs are under me.

I'm a terror to crews at the start of a project, it makes the rest go smoothly and I can be a nicer guy after I'm getting what I want....but they never forget what a prick I can be.

True....the upper guys must have any plays you make.

Yeah that makes a huge difference being the only rep in the country. I control my job, but once something gets beyond my control it shifts to m PM then the general manager then the owner if it is that serious. Most of the time the PM works the owners and brings resolve to any issues that arise.
It is a shame that things are not the same as they were when I was getting my ass handed to me when I was a kid starting out in construction. Now you have to be so careful how you fire someone or they turn around and sue you for some BS...

**Sicko** · 09-09-2011, 09:55 AM

One of my co workers was on my site for a week while he was waiting for his new project to start, and we were discussing this topic and he said This to me " While on my way to work today I spilled my coffee, then ran out of gas on the freeway and sh!t my pants when I farted. Given the way my morning was going I figured it was better to sacrifice my pay by not coming to work today because I would probably make a lot of mistakes that would cost the company a lot of money."

I nearly pissed my pants laughing as this actually has some validity. One guy who is not on their game can certainly cost the company a lot of money making mistakes on the jobsite which can set the project back days if not weeks.

**solid-d** · 09-10-2011, 10:26 AM

I called my boss a hr before my shift and told her this, "a friend was in town last night and we had a few drinks and we stayed up late. If its okay with you, I would like to get a couple more hrs sleep before coming in today. I appologise."

I ended up going into work 2 hrs after my start time.. The big owner said to my boss, hey give him some credit for not fabracating up some BS lie. That kid is honest and has class(that line of work got alot of BS lies from other workers).. I even got a raise that same day. No lie

**solid-d** · 09-10-2011, 10:28 AM

I called my boss a hr before my shift and told her this, "a friend was in town last night and we had a few drinks and we stayed up late. If its okay with you, I would like to get a couple more hrs sleep before coming in today. I appologise."

I ended up going into work 2 hrs after my start time.. The big owner said to my boss, hey give him some credit for not fabracating up some BS lie. That kid is honest and has class(that line of work got alot of BS lies from other workers).. I even got a raise that same day. No lie

**lovbyts** · 09-10-2011, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by Sicko

One of my co workers was on my site for a week while he was waiting for his new project to start, and we were discussing this topic and he said This to me " While on my way to work today I spilled my coffee, then ran out of gas on the freeway and sh!t my pants when I farted. Given the way my morning was going I figured it was better to sacrifice my pay by not coming to work today because I would probably make a lot of mistakes that would cost the company a lot of money."

I nearly pissed my pants laughing as this actually has some validity. One guy who is not on their game can certainly cost the company a lot of money making mistakes on the jobsite which can set the project back days if not weeks.

I've used basically the same excuse (- sh*tting the pants) and figured if I went to work I would end up cutting something off I needed or worse.