I fckved up my relationship

[Gaspari1255]

Safe

[Dukkit]

Apologize. Apologize again.
And then move on.

Some battles cant be won. Especially when youre the one who caused the loss.

[chi]

i will talk from experience but in a relationship there are boundaries set. One another should respect those boundaries as to keep the peace and for the greater good of the relationship. You need to figure this out and talk calmly what needs to be done if you truly love each other. Ask yourself if it is worth saving?

[Dukkit]

Maybe after some time... you guys can start to talk again and see if something is still there. But for now.... give her space and go about your life.

[calgarian]

either apologize and try to start over or no friends thing it wont workout sooner or later she will start seeing someone and it will kill you even more......no matter how pissed u r never scream in public or in private...shut up and walk away.....

[marcus300]

Sorry to hear your heartache

Try and express your emotions and how you feel about the whole situation in a letter and give it to her, sounds like its worth another try if its hurting so much. A letter can go along way with women usually they read it over and over again and often enough can touch their soft spot

[SlimmerMe]

sorry to hear your heartache

try and express your emotions and how you feel about the whole situation in a letter and give it to her, sounds like its worth another try if its hurting so much. a letter can go along way with women usually they read it over and over again and often enough can touch their soft spot

bingo!

[jasc]

tough break man.. You had every right to be mad about the other guy, seeing as how he was trying to get with her, but as you said, you went about it the wrong way...
You really need to get that temper under control, as proven here and in many previous posts. Learn from this experience. This would be a small price to pay if it taught you an invaluable lesson about controlling your anger.
That being said, reach out to her and see if she'd be willing to meet up face to face. Explain to her how you feel and how torn up you are and maybe give her some insight as to why you blew up, stress/work/whatever.
Explain to her that the main reason you wanted to meet up was that you can't believe how you acted and how you made her feel. Hold back on that getting back together bit at the moment as that could progress naturally and if she thinks thats the reason you wanted to meet up, it could ruin your chances.
Girls are very emotional and love to talk about feelings. As guys, we hate it but some times you have to let go of the ego and open up to them.
Best of luck bro

[SexySweetheart]

Sorry to hear the sad news and for the pain you’re going through

From a ladies stand...(at least the ladies I know, including myself)~

If she really loves you AND thinks you’re the 1 for her ~ apologize again than tell her you will give her some space, give her space (no communication 4 days) than apologize again and ask if yall can work it out as a couple, if she still says no you need to tell her that you think she is making a mistake and you guys have something special than ask her again if you can work it out as a couple...if she still refuses you have to tell her that you love her too much to just be friends/too painful, than say your good bye.

Sometimes we (girls) have gut reactions to stuff and need time and space to gather our thoughts/ feelings and while the guy is giving us space we quickly realize if he is the 1. Our hearts race, adrenaline surges while anticipating his call...if we don’t have this, we know it’s over. When he finally calls, we need a few chances (at times) to admit that its worth a second chance, and If the doesn’t seem willing to keep giving us a few chances to stay together than we think he doesn’t see us as worth the effort BUT if he keeps keeps keeps trying and wants to stay friends, we see him more as a fall back guy to make us feel good/wanted between actual relationships to stroke our egos, and a lill pathetic.

If she is actually done with you. Your better off (for self-preservation) to NOT try and remain friends with her. 1. it will prob jeopardize your future relationships (we are not keen on guys hanging out with girls they have fvcked) or sharing our guys attention with someone they once loved. 2. it will only kill you each time she meets someone or is dating and you may jeopardize her future relationships. 3. I don’t think dumpies can actually heal, until they accept what happened and let go.

whatever happens, figure out what triggered such explosive actions from you and work through them, or you may just have a repeat that would trash almost any relationship. Best of luck! and all pain heals <3

[gixxerboy1]

i wouldnt say its over for good, if you guys are being civil. Relationships sometimes go through break ups

Bronzer man you got to learn how to control your temper

[spywizard]

the good news is you learned something.;..... and never empower a woman, or a friend or business partner to have that much influence over who you are..

In a relationship with another person, if you feel jelous or insecure about a person, she is the only one that has power of is able to change how you feel.. it's her fault.. yes you reacted poorly, but you be yourself, if she's just not that into you to set her "pony in waiting" loose and commit to you.. time to share her with your friends and move on..

I know it sounds harsh and i didn't read everyone else's comments so there ya go..

[RaginCajun]

you always seem to have a story on here about how you lost your temper and then how things aren't going your way. seems as if this 'temper' comes out way too often whenever someone ruffles your feathers. if you really want to apologize, hand write her a letter to her explaining everything and then see how she reacts. other than that, only time heals!

[gbrice75]

Sorry to hear about your pain B... I know that pain and it cuts deep.

I can only echo what others here have said. Apologize, let her know your sincerity but don't smother her. Back off and give her room, but be ever present - does that make sense?

As Marcus said, and SM agreed - a letter is a great way to go. It can't escalate because there's no exchange. She reads your thoughts, uninterrupted. A bit selfish, yes - but sometimes necessary. Furthermore, you have time to really think and put your true thoughts, feelings and emotions down, vs. on the fly where you might say something dumb.

Good luck, and please keep us posted. Keep your chin up brother, stay positive. The good news is when a girl is civil with you, that's a good sign - at least in my experience. If she wanted nothing to do with you, you'd know it. But I have to agree with Cal - give it some time and see where it goes. If you get stuck in the 'friend' thing, AND still have these intense feelings for her - then end it completely. It will never be good for you that way, you will continue to hurt.

One last thing - and RJ touched on it already - not to chastise you, but you really need to get this hot ass temper of yours under control. This seems to be causing you alot of problems in life. You're young, probably still need to find yourself a bit... but you already KNOW you have this problem, which is great - self awareness is powerful, but useless if you can't improve using that knowledge.

Wise up son... and don't forget i'm in Jersey to... might have to come smack u if you keep this ish up!!!

[randymeans]

I do not think your wrong for calling her out on it in my opinion! If my girl had a dude friend then me and him our friends too or its wrong for them to be friends......... but the fact is, the only person who can make you happy is yourself, roll on man and keep your chin up!

[gixxerboy1]

girls have guy friends, you have no place to say anything if she knew him first.
My wife has a couple guy friends. I have a bunch of girls i'm friends with.
If you trust each other it doesnt matter. If you have such little trust in your partner they can have a friend then you shouldnt be with each other

[Gaspari1255]

I wrote a letter. I'm not sure if I'm even going to send it, and I'm not sure how I'm gonna give it to her (Online, Read in over the phone, mail it, read it in person---will I even have this opportunity?)t.

[Gaspari1255]

I just wanna thank everyone for taking the time out of their day to read my thread and offer some good advice. I'm not so sure the letter is the best approach, but I have it on hand just in case.

[Standby]

i dont know what to say man. i did the letter thing before worked good. but you obviously know you need to check yourself bro. smarten up

[jimmyinkedup]

Well Im going to shoot it straight bro. No - Oh inm sorry for you blah blah blah. Every thread you start here is an example of how you have absolutely no idea how to dea lwith or interact with oither people. Some of them were to the point where you could be physically harmed or even "killed" as you yourself put it. This is simply another, albeit more intimate, example. I only hope the hurt you feel transcends self pity and kicks your ass into action and you get some help and work on changing yourself. Best of Luck.

[thegodfather]

I assume this is what your phone call last night was about, not going to bother reading this, call me back...

[wmaousley]

So whats Jacque up to these days?

[paulzane]

Well Im going to shoot it straight bro. No - Oh inm sorry for you blah blah blah. Every thread you start here is an example of how you have absolutely no idea how to dea lwith or interact with oither people. Some of them were to the point where you could be physically harmed or even "killed" as you yourself put it. This is simply another, albeit more intimate, example. I only hope the hurt you feel transcends self pity and kicks your ass into action and you get some help and work on changing yourself. Best of Luck.

I totally agree wth Jimmy here.

Now my wife and I are seperated but I do go and stay with her and my daughter when I stay in England. It is not always an easy situation to be in. We had some trouble with a builder last time and basically he managed to get payment from me when he hadn't completed the job. He had lied to me and said that he had spoken to the wife and it was OK.

Basically the wife went on and on about it being my fault and was nagging for about an hour. So I shouted at her and told her to "Shut the fvck up!" and a few other things. My daughter jumped out of her skin. We were all in the kitchen.

A few minutes later my wife said to my daughter. "You know what R........ That is only the second time in 20 years that your dad has shouted at me!!"

For you to behave like that at the beginning of a relationship is reprehensible. I hope she dumps your ass and finds someone who will have more respect for her and not some child who is fcuked up with petty jealousies

[Flier]

Jacque sounds hot!

[JimmySidewalk]

Jacque sounds hot!

Yeah, if you like girly french boys. That's a french boy name. Equivalent to James.
In this case i think its just the short version of Jacqueline, which is a girls name indeed.

@Bronzer send the letter, at least you will have peace of mind knowing that you did your best in order to fix things up.

[songdog]

Send her a dozen Roses and grow up.Women have guy friends and she knew him before she knew you.

[awms]

Listen man you have to understand somthing here...women and men think very very very diffrent! what makes sens to you makes no sens to her.

Women think and act emotionaly because they use the mostly the creative side of the brain, men think more with "logic" because we use mostly a diffrent part of the brain...this is not made up it is true. For this reason by nature women want a solid, grouded, mature man not a guy who throws a temper like a women and freaks out.

Women you dont like somthing she is doing, rather then freak out you be stern, and calm and tell her it is not ok...she will prob freak out and cry about it but you know what? you stay calm and stand your ground and tell her as long as she is acting this way you are not going to be around her....she then realizes you are serious and wont put up with pull shit and she will listen. If you freak out it makes you look weak less "alpha" because you cant control your self.

If you think she cheating you dont say shit until you have proof because again it makes you look less alpha and weak...and if you dont like her hanging around with the guy then you sit her down like a man would and say "listen I want to let you know that I dont like when you talk to that guy" if she says they are friends then say "Ok thats fine I understand...as long as he doesnt over step his boundaries then I trust you" and leave it at that.

This is what I told my gf "You have 100% of my trust...you do what you want and I trust you but the second you break that trust what we have is over! and I walk!" You need to be stern and let her know what you need from the relationship....if you freak out and cry you look like a jack ass...women want a man not a boy.

[awms]

P.s if you want her back please please dont bag! and say im so sorry I love you ect ect ect....this might makes sens to you but to her it makes you look needy and weak.

Simply say to her "I have been doing some thinking and the way I acted was not ok, I should never have raised my voice or accused you of anything and I apologize." "I want you to know I really like you and care about you but perhaps we should spend some time apart. I need some time to think about what I want."

then end the convo! dont blaber on....you know what you just did? you just took back the control and now things are on your terms. This might seem like the opposite of what you want but trust me the second you walk away she will start missing you! Now dont call her or talk to her for a couple weeks unless she calls or txt you...stand your ground and go out and have fun! she might not react at first but trust me after a week or so without you she will go crazy and call you up. If you two do meet up dont confess your love for her just listen to what she has to say and then state your case...if she says she wants to give it another try then you tell her what you need from the relationship, and you listen to what she needs and you both can now be happy.

If in the rare case she doesnt call you and you dont get back with her then dont sweat it bro! there are 4 billion women in the world and although its hard trust me a I know! you will get over her and find somone eles! Iv been in your shoes.

[The Situation]

Are you on gear right now?

[Gaspari1255]

Update:

I wrote her a really lengthy letter explaining everything. I called her and asked if I could come over and read it face to face, I explained that it would only take a few minutes and i would leave directly after, if she wanted me to. She said "Okay, and pick up a movie on the way over." That's a good sign, being she wanted me to stay a little bit. I got there, we bullshitted for about 30 minutes, helped her do some little things around her house. Then, I read her my letter. I also explained at the end of the letter that it's okay if she didn't say anything right then and there, at that it would probably be best if she took some time to digest it all and read it again. She said "that was a really nice letter, but leave it here for me to look over." We watched the movie, started holding hands, kissing a little bit and laying down holding each other. It was really nice to enjoyment moments like that once again, and I told her that. We talked about the disaster night that broke us apart, and I admitted I was wrong again, and hoping for the best. We spent the whole day together (today), went out and got breakfast, did some grocery shopping, and hung at her place for a little bit. She actually grabbed my hand a few times to hold when we were out in public, and she said she was going to miss me if things don't end up working out, and I told her the same...She said she still needs time to think about everything, and I said I understand and will give her all the time she needs. I had to leave for work tonight, so I gave her a kiss and said I would call her tomorrow....


Things are looking a hell of a lot better. I'm still not going to get completely satisfied with the idea that we will get back together, because no one really knows the answer to that, but I'm happy with how things are going.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread. Some of you came off harsh, but it was all the truth, and was what I needed to hear. If I do get her back, I will NOT fvck up this time, or else I'd be the biggest idiot every.

And for the record, Jacque is so hot. It's not even funny. Haz knows my girl and Jacque personally and after I tell him this whole shit show his first reaction is "This is perfect...now you can fvck Jacque!!!" lol

I realized that even Jacque and I were some what friends, I can't really have any type of relationship with her at all (friendship), or any time soon. Absolutely nothing good will come out of it, so when I run into her at work, I'm gonna pretty much blow her off and give her one word answers. It's an asshole thing to do, but just about the only thing to do for obvious reasons.

[chaz898]

Fvck bichtes get money

[Standby]

glad things are going your way. like i said before, smarten up.



thats really the best thing to say to you. i cant tell you how to act but i can make you think about it. smarten up

[l2elapse]

youre in..dont sweat it anymore

[randymeans]

fvck bichtes get money

exactly

[thegodfather]

For you to behave like that at the beginning of a relationship is reprehensible. I hope she dumps your ass and finds someone who will have more respect for her and not some child who is fcuked up with petty jealousies

Paul, cmon bro....Thats a little bit harsh, in fact really harsh. How bout some constructive critiscism, he's a young kid, and he obviously lets his emotions get the best of him and has a short fuse. Hoping for something like that for one, isn't nice, and two, isn't going to help him work out his issues he has with trust, women, and temperment.

I tried callin you back Bronzer, but I forgot you work late at night, so its hard for us to coordinate and what not...Anyway, this isn't an isolated incident. I honestly think you would benefit from some counseling, anger management type stuff. Don't have too much pride to consider something like this. You have some issues which are clearly beyond your control, and beyond your ability to say "ok, dont act like this." Some people outgrow shit like this (I did, with the jealousy shit, for instance), and some dont. You really have to ask yourself, do you want to swallow your pride, start seeing a counselor about your jealousy and anger control issues, or do you want to CONTINUE to fu*k up relationships with great girls who you care a lot about? I think you know the answer to that bro. On top of that, I think that a lot of times you act the way you "think" a tough guy alpha male should act in those situations, and not the way a person who cares about another person should act. Please give me a call when you get a chance, we'll talk bro...

[JimmySidewalk]

You should post a picture of her, so we can get a better understanding of what we're dealing with

[gbrice75]

Congrats on the progress so far bro, honestly I think it will work out - if you don't fvck it up! All the signs say she's willing to give you another shot. Like I said earlier, if she was done with you, you wouldn't even be getting the time of day.

[RaginCajun]

good luck bronz! and send that jacque girl down here!

[gbrice75]

good luck bronz! and send that jacque girl down here!

Pfft!! She's already in Jersey... she can be at my place in like 30 mins

[chi]

Good job even though this is one of many learning processes in your future. You do seem kind of a weasel though.

[FONZY007]

Glad everything work out this time! I just asked my wife she stated I can be aggressive but not disrespectful towards her!! ~