this lifestyle

**Greyeyes** · 12-10-2011, 02:33 PM

I was just in the nutrition forum and was reading a guys log and he was kinda hinting at relationship troubles due to his fitness life style. I deal with the same thing with my chick. She thinks im an addict, and insecure because i put so much into dieting and working out. It has caused alot of disruption in my relationship but i see nothing wrong with what i like to do. Anybody else deal with people like this in your lives?

**BrownGirl** · 12-10-2011, 02:45 PM

Hi Greyeyes, Why don't you try to get her involved in fitness in stuff too or doesn't she want to? Luckily my man and I both are into fitness and healthy eating. Most other people don't seem to understand it though, they think we're obsessed. Maybe your girl feels left out? Hard to say exactly but she could be insecure in the relationship and feel like you're doing all this to get other womens' attention. I'm sure you're not, but jealousy is hard to deal with and this could be her way of trying to let you know something's wrong. I don't know if you've already done it but maybe try something fun like hiking or cooking some healthy meals together. Gyms can be intimidating to some women. Anyways, good luck and hope it works out!

**gixxerboy1** · 12-10-2011, 02:47 PM

no i dont but there needs to be a healthy balance. IMO If you arent competing or have health issues then it is a hobby. Your family should respect that but family should come before a hobby.

OP that wasnt directed at you

**Times Roman** · 12-11-2011, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by gixxerboy1

no i dont but there needs to be a healthy balance. IMO If you arent competing or have health issues then it is a hobby. Your family should respect that but family should come before a hobby.

OP that wasnt directed at you

I agree. This is a hobby for me. My diet is hard for others to understand, why i don't eat that slice of pumpkin pie for thanksgiving, or drink that beer at dinner like everyone else. But when I cheat, I really ham it up, especially when the woman goes all out and makes a special dinner for me. But I've been doing this for years, and my family is used to it. And it is contagious. My son is now just like me, very picky what he eats, no processed, no simple carbs.

The bottom line is I will cheat if a special occassion. I will have a beer if a bro comes over to watch the game. I'm in this thing for the long haul, so periodic cheating is no big deal to me

**Greyeyes** · 12-11-2011, 08:53 AM

Its a hobby for me but i must admit that i still have a bit of a mufin top that wont quit so i play around with different diets and it really irks her. I dont turn everything down but i try to stay low carb and recently have been into lean gains with a bit of success actually. Shes a lucky one who can eat what she wants and still look good and she argues that moderation is key. As for her going to the gym- not gonna happen. She grew up with her mom who used to be into bodybuilding and is a super huge climber, skiier, biker and all around fitness enthusiast and she has told me that she often felt "second" to the gym.

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-11-2011, 12:48 PM

It is about self-control. To succeed we need to be obsessive. To be happy, we need to keep that obsessive nature inside. Otherwise we are like that guy that only talks about Star Wars, or model trains, or illegal immigration, or how corporations are killing the middle class. Nobody wants to be friends with THAT GUY.

I would probably have a fit if my wife said she felt "second" to the gym. People I know (not a single one goes to the gym) constantly tell me they don't have the time, but they watch 20 - 30 hours of television a week. How about they watch Dancing With The Stars and I go to the gym? We both get to do what we want.

**dec11** · 12-11-2011, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

It is about self-control. To succeed we need to be obsessive. To be happy, we need to keep that obsessive nature inside. Otherwise we are like that guy that only talks about Star Wars, or model trains, or illegal immigration, or how corporations are killing the middle class. Nobody wants to be friends with THAT GUY.

well put

**SlimmerMe** · 12-11-2011, 01:03 PM

x 2.....tempting but so true.

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-11-2011, 01:24 PM

I learned this lesson when I was a self-rightious vegetarian jerk...combined with a lifetime of having interests (like lifting) outside the mainstream.

**rippedfromabove** · 12-11-2011, 02:00 PM

I personally think that if we behave normally like the average american, we would look like one. And whats that? Fat flabby and weak.
But that extra step or "obcession", as the FATgets (new word) call it, is what gives us our bold and fit image..

**alluprbdy** · 12-12-2011, 01:31 PM

My training and dieting has caused relationship problems for sure. Only when with someone who didnt workout though.

**stpete** · 12-12-2011, 02:18 PM

Everyone takes care of themselves first. That's just human nature. And if you don't like me for taking care of myself, see ya!!

**rippedfromabove** · 12-12-2011, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by alluprbdy

My training and dieting has caused relationship problems for sure. Only when with someone who didnt workout though.

How many people in your life workout? Alotta times i gotta lie to my friends when they are going to hangout, and I have to workout, i tell em i gotta go to doctors and what not

**bavz01** · 12-12-2011, 05:58 PM

Obsessed a word used by the (FAT) to describe the dedicated!!!

**rippedfromabove** · 12-12-2011, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by bavz01

Obsessed a word used by the (FAT) to describe the dedicated!!!

Agree¡¡¡

**jimmyinkedup** · 12-12-2011, 06:04 PM

Just like eveyrthing in life - its all about balance. Some cross the line of taking care of themselves to obsession to addiction.
Its not always a bad idea to take a step back - evaluate whats important - see the reality in every situation , and possibly adjust accordingly.
For some that may mean looking at the fact that they have a family - this isnt their livelyhood - and maybe skipping a workout or a meal to spend time with family isnt a bad idea. I'll tell u this - i understand the importance of taking care of yourself, both the mental and physical even spiritual aspectsand benfits of it - but when you have a child -that immediately goes to the forefront. Doesnt mean the lifestyle stops - but adjustments def are and imo should be made. This doesnt pay my bills , it would nor could ever replace my loved ones.
Balance my friends.....the key is balance....

**bavz01** · 12-12-2011, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by jimmyinkedup

Just like eveyrthing in life - its all about balance. Some cross the line of taking care of themselves to obsession to addiction.
Its not always a bad idea to take a step back - evaluate whats important - see the reality in every situation , and possibly adjust accordingly.
For some that may mean looking at the fact that they have a family - this isnt their livelyhood - and maybe skipping a workout or a meal to spend time with family isnt a bad idea. I'll tell u this - i understand the importance of taking care of yourself, both the mental and physical even spiritual aspectsand benfits of it - but when you have a child -that immediately goes to the forefront. Doesnt mean the lifestyle stops - but adjustments def are and imo should be made. This doesnt pay my bills , it would nor could ever replace my loved ones.
Balance my friends.....the key is balance....

Excellent advice^^^

**Greyeyes** · 12-13-2011, 02:15 PM

Example: Last night i cooked dinner, she wanted rice to go along with it so i cooked it, no biggie. When it was time to eat I didnt put rice on my plate and she flipped and said she wasnt going to eat then. I ate rice, she ate dinner, end of story. I love lifting and i want a body to go along with the strength. I dont know how to get her to understand this. Im no more "obsessed" than anyone else into fitness and i guarantee some would say i could do more. I love her and Im in it for the long haul, shoot, we'll be having our first kid in March but man im having a hard time with her attitude towards what i like to do. Frustrating i tell you!

**cherrydrpepper** · 12-13-2011, 06:59 PM

I think the relationship with the girl thing is a where you are in life type deal. My girl is giving me shit about everything dealing with lifting.. she is not into the gym. She is one of these people who will work out one or two days a week usually running with no real goal in mind just "staying in shape". This girl has really been pushing for marriage and babies and I want none of it. So for me the answer is a clean getaway. She has made comments like "are you just doing this to get girls?". I do not want to date someone like that long term. I want to date someone who sees me kicking ass and decides to step up their own game. Now if you are married or have kids with a girl or you are really into her then the whole game changes. She may bitch about your gym obsession and you just have to put up with the whining.

When you said she "thinks (you're) insecure" for lifting, I have two thoughts on that. First I've had multiple women react that way. So you can't use that as a clear cut dump her indicator. Unfortunately. Cause then the next girl will say that dumb shit and you will wonder why you dumped the first. But the other thing it makes me think is that the real weakness is in her. Confident women don't make statements like that. Are you the better looking one in the relationship or have more going on? Maybe she is the clingy type and she really should find a personal life away from you?

**gearbox** · 12-13-2011, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by Greyeyes

Example: Last night i cooked dinner, she wanted rice to go along with it so i cooked it, no biggie. When it was time to eat I didnt put rice on my plate and she flipped and said she wasnt going to eat then. I ate rice, she ate dinner, end of story. I love lifting and i want a body to go along with the strength. I dont know how to get her to understand this. Im no more "obsessed" than anyone else into fitness and i guarantee some would say i could do more. I love her and Im in it for the long haul, shoot, we'll be having our first kid in March but man im having a hard time with her attitude towards what i like to do. Frustrating i tell you!

she is pregnant gaining weight bro...whole different ball park,,and you are getting in bette shape...I would just be patient and tell her you love her and she is sexy or hot..is goes with the insecure comment from above...most woman especially pregnant woman struggle with that..

**gearbox** · 12-13-2011, 07:26 PM

some people do lift to feel better about themselves..I think it is one of best things you can do to feel better about yourself...my wife gets mad because she is selfish and my diet affects her life (going out to dinner often) instead of getting in better shape like i would want she just complains. compromise is we go out once a wk to dinner..

**Knockout_Power** · 12-13-2011, 07:35 PM

what is could be, is that if you are in good shape and have a decent physique, she may notice that other women are commenting on your body, or she thinks other women are attracted to you and she gets self-confidence issues and it manifests into blaming you for being addicted to the gym/working out.

**BrownGirl** · 12-13-2011, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by gearbox

she is pregnant gaining weight bro...whole different ball park,,and you are getting in bette shape...I would just be patient and tell her you love her and she is sexy or hot..is goes with the insecure comment from above...most woman especially pregnant woman struggle with that..

gearbox I think you hit the nail right on the head...

**Greyeyes** · 12-13-2011, 08:35 PM

I wondered about the pregnancy weight thing myself. I make my attraction to her very clear also. The diet/workout thing became an issue early on in our relationship and has been the usual culprit in starting most of our arguments. She really believes that its a form of addiction and that there is something wrong with me. Outside of this we get along great.

**Sgt. Hartman** · 12-14-2011, 11:51 AM

I think this has been posted before but it fits perfectly with this thread and it's funny as hell.

**gixxerboy1** · 12-14-2011, 12:23 PM

^^^ i love those video's

**Greyeyes** · 12-14-2011, 02:24 PM

lol! Comedy for sure, but very true also.

**Times Roman** · 12-17-2011, 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by Greyeyes

I was just in the nutrition forum and was reading a guys log and he was kinda hinting at relationship troubles due to his fitness life style. I deal with the same thing with my chick. She thinks im an addict, and insecure because i put so much into dieting and working out. It has caused alot of disruption in my relationship but i see nothing wrong with what i like to do. Anybody else deal with people like this in your lives?

I don't see how that is any different that some bloke getting dressed up, with his Al Unser socks, Al Unser chonies, Al Unser T shirt, and go watch the races every weekend?

**ecruz** · 12-19-2011, 03:38 PM

ohh i cant wait to show my girl those video's, i cant stop laughing

**JohnnyVegas** · 12-19-2011, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by Greyeyes

I was just in the nutrition forum and was reading a guys log and he was kinda hinting at relationship troubles due to his fitness life style. I deal with the same thing with my chick. She thinks im an addict, and insecure because i put so much into dieting and working out. It has caused alot of disruption in my relationship but i see nothing wrong with what i like to do. Anybody else deal with people like this in your lives?

All relationships succeed based on compatibility. This can become a source of incompatibility if it cannot become a part of your shared lifestyle. I sometimes skip workouts, or have a cheat meal if we need to go do something with friends, or if I need to handle more things around the house because of her work/school schedule. I try to be as "normal" on the surface as I can. But, she wants me to succeed and is very supportive. In return, I am supportive about her getting her MBA. There are lots of hours spent away from home, and home hours are often spent doing homework. I have never complained...and there is no need because I am proud of her for doing it. Compatibility, shared goals and trust are the key.

**rippedfromabove** · 12-19-2011, 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by JohnnyVegas

All relationships succeed based on compatibility. This can become a source of incompatibility if it cannot become a part of your shared lifestyle. I sometimes skip workouts, or have a cheat meal if we need to go do something with friends, or if I need to handle more things around the house because of her work/school schedule. I try to be as "normal" on the surface as I can. But, she wants me to succeed and is very supportive. In return, I am supportive about her getting her MBA. There are lots of hours spent away from home, and home hours are often spent doing homework. I have never complained...and there is no need because I am proud of her for doing it. Compatibility, shared goals and trust are the key.

But what if you are in a relationship with a person with no goals.... Like a day to day type of person.

**nik1603** · 12-19-2011, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by BrownGirl

Hi Greyeyes, Why don't you try to get her involved in fitness in stuff too or doesn't she want to? Luckily my man and I both are into fitness and healthy eating. Most other people don't seem to understand it though, they think we're obsessed. Maybe your girl feels left out? Hard to say exactly but she could be insecure in the relationship and feel like you're doing all this to get other womens' attention. I'm sure you're not, but jealousy is hard to deal with and this could be her way of trying to let you know something's wrong. I don't know if you've already done it but maybe try something fun like hiking or cooking some healthy meals together. Gyms can be intimidating to some women. Anyways, good luck and hope it works out!

Spot on there. My gf is always worried that i train to get attention from other girls. She says she loves me the way i am and why am i trying to change myself. Luckily i now have her training with me

**Greyeyes** · 12-19-2011, 09:33 PM

My girl and I share similar goals in life, the one difference is that she is happy with my body and I am not. I lead a fairly normal life and i dont diet anywhere near as strict as the dude in the videos above. I havent started counting calories or macros but i do try to make sure that most everything I eat is a whole/real food. So what if i dont want to eat out all the time or have pancakes for breakfast. I started a post in the diet forum with pictures. I dont know how to put up a link but its titled "advice from those who know". Look at those and youll get an idea of what im working with and why im getting serious about losing it now.